Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  Ash suppressed a sigh. If only it were that easy.

  “I know what you’re thinking. If anyone can understand what it’s like to try to live up to your parents’ expectations, it’s me.” Leo looked down the row of graves to where her father was buried. “Trust me, it doesn’t work. You have to live your own life, Ash.”

  Ash eyed her with a slight curl of her lips. “Are we still talking about my hair?”

  “We’re talking about you and Sasha.”

  If she hadn’t already been sitting down, Ash probably would have fallen as her knees turned into some wobbly substance. A tremor went through her. “Oh my God! First Brooke, now you! Does everyone in town know about us?”

  “No, of course not. You’re too good at that pretending-to-be-straight game.” A hint of bitterness sounded in Leo’s voice. “But I know you, and I know it wasn’t Grace and Lauren keeping everyone awake in Florida, because they were the only ones who looked well-rested the next morning, while you and Sasha slept all the way home.”

  A wave of heat shot up Ash’s neck. She buried her face against her knees. How was she supposed to look any of them in the eyes ever again?

  Leo chuckled and patted her back. “Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone else suspects. Well, Holly, of course, but she just wants you to be happy.”

  “Happy,” Ash repeated to herself as if it were a word in a foreign language.

  They were both quiet for a while.

  Finally, when her face had cooled down a little, Ash lifted her head from her knees and peeked over at her old friend.

  Leo was studying her with an intense gaze. “So you’re still not planning to come out? You’ll just do to Sasha what you did to Holly? Damn, Ash, I thought you learned your lesson.”

  “I did,” Ash said quickly, not wanting her to think she would string Sasha along.

  “So you will come out to everyone?”

  Ash stared at the inscription on her sister’s headstone as if the answer was written there. “I…I don’t know. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to be with anyone…to fall in love ever again.” The last words were barely more than a whisper.

  A mild smile curled Leo’s lips. “And I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with a small-town nurse and decide to stay after fighting so hard to escape Fair Oaks, yet it still happened—and I’m happy it did. Don’t you think you’ll one day feel the same, even though it’s hard now?”

  “I want to…I want to believe it so much, but…” Ash sent her a look of despair. “How can I be sure?”

  “You can’t. And you certainly won’t get any answers from the dead, Ash,” Leo said quietly. “You have to talk to the living.”

  “I don’t think I’ll like what my parents have to say.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. But they might surprise you. I never thought my mother would come to accept me either, but now she’s over at our house, nearly dizzy with excitement because Holly and I are getting married tomorrow.” It wasn’t just the light of the setting sun that made her appear to glow.

  “I’m truly happy for you,” Ash said, meaning it, “but it took her fifteen years to get to that point, and I’m not sure my parents would get there at all.”

  “So you’re going to put your life on hold until they’re gone?” Leo asked.

  Ash flinched. “No, of course not. I have a life.”

  “Looks to me like you have what I had before I came home—a career, not a life,” Leo said. “If you want a life, you have to open yourself up to love and all the risks that come with that. Yeah, you might disappoint some people—maybe even lose some, but there’ll always be people who won’t care and who’ll support you.”

  Ash sighed. “I know you’re right. I know it here.” She tapped her head. “But…”

  “No buts. I know it’s scary, but you can’t live a lie. You have to be yourself. Not Melissa’s little sister. Not Tom and Donna’s daughter. Just Ashley.” Leo got up and let her hand linger on Ash’s shoulder for a moment. “See you tomorrow at the ceremony.”

  As Leo walked over to her father’s grave, Ash sat frozen next to Melissa’s headstone. Leo’s words echoed through her mind. You have to be yourself.

  She was never more herself than when she was with Sasha; she knew that without a doubt.

  Could she really do this—open herself up to love, all risks be damned?

  Chapter 21

  The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding. The afternoon sun gleamed on the gurgling water of the creek, but it wasn’t so hot that the strings of flowers Ashley had draped along the railings of the bridge would wither. Ashley had even pinned boutonnieres to the suits of the four security guards Leo had hired in case any uninvited guests or members of the press showed up.

  Everything looked beautiful—but most of all Ashley did.

  Sasha had chosen to sit in the last row of folding chairs that had been set up along the creek so she could duck out after the vows to make sure the caterers didn’t ruin the cake.

  Ashley had stayed in the back too, probably so she could dash off and put the last touches to the flower decorations in the barn.

  While everyone else craned their necks to catch a glimpse of the brides, Sasha’s gaze was drawn to Ashley instead.

  God, she looked incredible in her summer dress and modestly heeled sandals—and she had cut off her hair! Her once waist-length mane now barely brushed her shoulders. No longer dragged down by its own weight, it had a natural wave to it that made her look even sexier. The new haircut transformed her face from nice girl next door to a stunning woman who stood up for what she wanted.

  Don’t let it fool you, Sasha told herself. Even with a new look, Ashley was still the same person who did what was expected of her instead of what she wanted.

  But Ashley’s dress kept drawing her gaze. It wasn’t just the keyhole cutout in the back that had allowed her to catch a glimpse of the bare skin beneath earlier. What had caught her interest even more was the dress’s color. It was a perfect match for the purple bow tie Ashley had picked for her. What did her choice of dress mean? Was it merely a coincidence? Sasha didn’t think so. Ashley worked with colors, after all. She knew they had meaning. Was Ashley trying to tell her something, or was Sasha reading too much into it?

  She hadn’t found an answer yet when a flute and a guitar player started playing a piece of classical music.

  Leo and Holly walked down the makeshift aisle created by the rows of folding chairs.

  Sasha liked that they had chosen to walk down the aisle together instead of one of them being given away. She flashed her friends a smile as they passed. They both looked great, Holly in her traditional wedding dress and Leo in a custom-tailored, ivory pantsuit. They held hands, and each carried an identical bridal bouquet in her free hand. When they reached the edge of the creek, where the officiant waited, they gave the flowers to their mothers to hold so they could join hands.

  As they started to say their wedding vows, Sasha kept glancing at Ashley, who watched the ceremony with tears in her eyes. Were they happy ones for their friends? Sasha thought she saw a sad longing on Ashley’s face too.

  Ashley looked over at her.

  Sasha quickly turned her head and directed her attention back to the couple’s vows.

  “I promise to love and appreciate you just the way you are—which will be easy because you’re perfect in my eyes,” Leo said to Holly. “I promise to make you laugh as often as possible, to love your family as if they’re my own, and to always let you win at Xbox.”

  Sasha chuckled because she knew that Leo had never won a single game.

  Leo looked deeply into Holly’s eyes as she continued. “I promise to be your best friend, your sidekick in all adventures of life, and the person you can always rely on. No matter what life might throw at us, you’ll always have my heart.”

  Then it
was Holly’s turn to say her vows. “I promise to love you for who you are, not for who the public sees you as, to support you in whatever you do, to always be honest with you, and to never watch Central Precinct without you.”

  Leo laughed through the tears in her eyes and kissed her hand. “You’d better not.”

  Holly smiled. Her voice was choked with emotion as she continued, but she spoke without hesitation and never looked away from Leo. “Most of all, I promise to be your best friend, your biggest fan, and your partner for life.”

  Sasha listened with a lump in her throat. For someone who had declared to not want steak only a few months ago, she suddenly wanted someone to make the same promises to her—and not just anyone. She peeked over at Ashley, who was looking at her too.

  When their eyes met, they both glanced away.

  The officiant waited until Holly and Leo had exchanged rings and then gave them a nod. “With the power vested in me by the state of Missouri, I declare you married. You may both kiss your bride.”

  A cheer echoed around the creek as Leo and Holly exchanged a gentle kiss.

  Sasha watched them for a moment, allowing herself a few seconds to bask in their joy, before she rose and hurried to her car.

  She caught glimpses of Ashley’s SUV in the rearview mirror as she drove. Knowing they would soon be alone and forced to interact sent a jolt through her that was part dread, part excitement.

  Just be professional, and you’ll be fine, she told herself. She was there as Sasha, the baker, and Ashley was just a florist she worked with.

  But no matter how often she repeated it, her heart didn’t believe it for a second.

  She parked next to the barn and got out.

  The big double doors were folded back and adorned with the same flowers Ashley had used for the bridal bouquets. Wooden barrels with more flowers flanked the entrance, and above it hung a sign that said Welcome to Holly & Leo’s wedding.

  How had Ashley gotten her parents to allow all of this?

  The caterers had set up their tables beneath a tent next to the barn. Sasha would check in with them in a second, but first she wanted to see the inside of the barn.

  She paused at the entrance and looked around.

  Wow.

  The barn didn’t look like a farm structure anymore. The tractor parts and other equipment had been removed. Round tables had been covered with festive linens, each one decorated with one of Ashley’s beautiful centerpieces.

  White drapes were strung tent-like between the high rafters. Lanterns cast a warm glow over the tables. Strings of twinkling fairy lights were twined around the beams and wooden support columns, creating an intimate, magical atmosphere.

  Great. Just what she didn’t need: being alone with Ashley in such a romantic setting.

  She felt more than heard Ashley walk up behind her. Her breath caught in anticipation of Ashley touching her shoulder, her arm, or any part of her in greeting, but she didn’t. It was ridiculous how disappointed she felt. You need to stay away, remember?

  “Do you like it?” Ashley asked, her voice low.

  Sasha turned toward her. “It looks incredible. And so do you.” The words slipped out before she could censor herself. But it was true. Up close, Ashley was even more beautiful. She was also wearing a new perfume—something lighter, more floral, with just a hint of a sensual aroma. Sasha wanted to bury her face against Ashley’s neck and inhale the intoxicating scent. “Uh, I mean, the new haircut looks good on you.”

  Ashley blushed and fingered the now shoulder-length strands. “Thank you.”

  With every second Sasha spent around Ashley, her resolution to stay away from her was melting faster than vanilla ice cream on hot apple pie. “Um, excuse me. I think I’d better go check on the cake before everyone arrives.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Ashley said. “I put the sugar flowers on each table in the barn, but I haven’t put any on the cake table yet because I wanted to wait until the cake was all set up.”

  They walked toward the tent next to the barn, with Sasha automatically matching her strides to Ashley’s, ready to reach out a hand to steady her should she step into a pothole in her sandals.

  But Ashley walked sure-footedly, reminding Sasha that she’d grown up here.

  When they ducked into the tent, the wedding cake was on a small table by itself.

  “Wow,” Ashley murmured.

  Sasha looked at her creation too. It was covered in a smooth, ivory fondant that matched the color of Holly’s dress and Leo’s pantsuit. She had chosen not to set the top tier into the center of the tier below but had put it more toward the back, creating a ledge for the cascade of gum paste flowers that trailed down the cake. “You like it?” she couldn’t help asking.

  “Like?” Ashley laughed. “Heck, it makes me want to get married just to get a cake like this!”

  Sasha bit her lip so she wouldn’t offer to make her one. “Nah. You’re not the marrying kind, remember?”

  Ashley sighed. “Right.” She squeezed past Sasha and started to arrange the gum paste flowers Sasha had made around the cake, framing it perfectly.

  When she was done, she stepped back, and they stood side by side, looking at their creations like two proud parents.

  “Sasha, I—”

  Several other cars pulled into the yard. Car doors banged, and the voices of the mothers of the brides came closer.

  “I’d better go,” Ashley said. “I’ve already caught Sharon rearranging the flowers in the barrels twice this morning.”

  Sasha’s gaze followed her as she rushed from the tent. God, it would be a long day.

  The wedding reception went off without a hitch. Lauren’s Operation Decoy had been a total success—no paparazzi had found them—and the food had been delicious.

  Ash sat with Jenny, Travis, and the rest of the gang—and that, of course, meant Sasha too. She wondered if Leo and Holly had arranged it that way on purpose. Were they trying to play matchmaker?

  But she and Sasha needed more than a little nudge from their friends. Ash knew it was all on her.

  One of Holly’s brothers rose and tapped his fork to his glass to give a speech that ended with him welcoming Leo into the family.

  Ash took a big sip of champagne, but it didn’t help to remove the lump from her throat. If only her own family were half as accepting as Holly’s and Leo’s. Her parents hadn’t even come to the reception, even though Leo and Holly had made sure to invite them.

  Sasha leaned toward her. “You okay?” she asked so quietly that no one else could hear.

  Ash just nodded because she didn’t trust herself to speak without her voice trembling. Besides, she didn’t want to tarnish this happy day with thoughts of her parents and their lack of acceptance should she ever come out.

  “Could I have your attention, everyone?” the DJ’s voice came through speakers set up in the back of the barn, where the makeshift dance floor was. “It’s time to cut the cake.”

  A wrinkle formed on Sasha’s forehead as she watched the caterers roll in the three-tiered wedding cake.

  Ash put her hand on Sasha’s arm to calm her worries.

  Leo and Holly walked up to Sasha’s masterful creation.

  “Cut from the bottom tier,” Sasha told them.

  Holly smiled at her before taking hold of the cake knife. Leo wrapped her arms around her from behind and placed her hands over Holly’s to support the weight of the knife. Together, they cut through the fondant and lifted a piece of cake onto a plate.

  Flashes went off as guests and the professional photographer took pictures of the moment.

  Leo sliced off a bit of cake with her fork.

  Holly watched her warily. “You’re not going to smash Sasha’s beautiful cake into my face, are you?”

  “Wait and see.” Leo grinned. She moved the fork towa
rd Holly’s lips but then pulled it back at the last second, teasing her, before finally popping proffered morsel into her mouth.

  “God. This is delicious,” Holly mumbled around a forkful of cake.

  Next to Ash, Sasha finally relaxed. A proud smile made her look even more stunning.

  Holly sliced off a piece of her own.

  “Behave,” Leo said.

  Grinning, Holly picked it up with her hand and smeared it all over Leo’s face.

  Laughter rippled through the barn.

  “I knew you would do that!” Buttercream dribbled down Leo’s chin, but she was laughing as she grabbed what was left of the slice of cake and returned the favor.

  Leo’s mother handed them napkins, and they cleaned each other’s face with such tenderness that Ash had to look away, feeling as if she were intruding into a private moment.

  Her gaze met Sasha’s, and they shared a smile at their friends’ happiness.

  The caterers interrupted their eye contact as they began to hand out cake to the guests.

  At her first forkful, Ash let out a moan. “God, Sasha. You outdid yourself. It tastes as good as it looks, and that’s saying something.”

  Sasha beamed.

  Soon, the DJ’s voice came through the speakers again. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the brides’ first dance as a married couple.”

  “Holly’s Song”—which Leo had written about her feelings for Holly—began to play as Leo and Holly walked to the dance floor and began to dance.

  Ash slid sideways on her chair, folded her arms over the back of it, put her chin on top, and watched her friends. God, they looked so good together. They seemed to have forgotten that they had an audience, seeing only each other, as they floated across the dance floor.

  When the first dance was over, the brides danced with their mothers, then switched so each was dancing with her mother-in-law. Finally, everyone swarmed onto the dance floor.

  Jenny dragged her husband up from his chair and waved at Sasha and Ash. “Come on, guys. Let’s have some fun!”

  Sasha shook her head. “Wouldn’t be much fun for the poor person I’d be dancing with. I’ve been known to maim my partner’s toes. I’m a terrible dancer.”