Light Up My Life

by Winters, Bella

  I wished I knew how she felt about me really. Did she love me the way that I think I loved her? Or was it still so new and fresh to her that the word ‘love’ didn’t even enter her mind about us? I sure as hell did not want to push her on this, or anything else. When one person loves the other one and that feeling is not reciprocated then it can be terribly awkward.

  “You ever come close to getting hurt in any of the fires that you fight?” Kat asked just then.

  “I’ve had a few close calls, but so far I’ve never really been injured,” I replied. “Why do you ask?”

  “Well, I just wondered if something like a close call has ever woke you up to thinking you might want to consider a less dangerous way to give back to the world.”

  “Yeah, I’ve thought about it, but in that moment when everything is so fresh and frightening you don’t think about that. Your mind kind of goes into “go-mode” and you have that moment where you think you should stop doing this, that next time it could be much worse, but then you re-group and get over it. I doubt I’ll ever stop.”

  “And what if we were married? What if we had a child who needed its father to stay around? Would that danger not bother you more?”

  “I’m sure that it could,” I said. “I’m willing to bet it would make me reevaluate things, but I don’t think it would ever make me quit. That’s a part of me. It’s a big part of who I am. I wouldn’t imagine you would want to change me that way, would you?”

  “If we had a kid together, knowing that every day you go out there might be the day you don’t come home. That would really get to me. I’m sure it does to a lot of wives. So that is a consideration. Would you be willing to give it up if we did get married?”

  “I suppose I might,” I said. “But if we follow through with this marriage, how real would it be? As I said before, it is mostly on paper to appease my father so I can get that damn inheritance, but if things progressed with us, and we actually wanted to be married, then it might be different. I don’t know. I’d have to wait until that actually happened, until I was actually in that situation.”

  “If we end up doing this, I don’t know what would happen. But I would want to know what the chances are, that I end up as a single mother or something.”

  I could see her concern. “I would never want that sort of thing to happen,” I replied. “If that becomes a genuine concern, I would be willing to reevaluate my career. I would never want our child growing up without a father, but I wouldn’t want him growing up with an unhappy father either. If that makes sense. That tension would be tough and it cause resentment between us as well. But those are things down the road we can think of. And I have a feeling that if we get married, my father may relent on the requirement of us actually having kids.”

  She smiled. “That would help take some of the pressure off this decision.”

  I could tell that this was all stressing her out. I reached out to her and took her hand in mine. “I’m sorry to be putting you through this. That’s the type of man my father is. He is just going to push his will on me until he thinks he has made me at least something like him. I can’t help wondering if he thinks that in some demented way, I will come around to running the business and being his little clone.”

  “It’s ok. I don’t feel that much pressure. I’m actually feeling pretty calm about it,” Kat said. “I just need to know that it is the right decision for me to make right now, and that I won’t end up regretting it. I am a little scared I guess.”

  I pulled her closer to me. “It’s ok. You don’t have to be scared,” I said. “Whatever you decide, it will be fine. Don’t feel like you have to do this for me. Do it for yourself. I will figure something out. I’m a scrapper. I’ve yet to meet something that I couldn’t overcome.”

  I leaned in and kissed her, tilting her beautiful face towards me. Her mouth was warm and inviting. She opened her mouth a bit and I felt the lust flowing between us then. I sighed a little bit behind the kiss and settled into it all. This was what I’d been waiting for so long. It had only been two days, but it might as well have been two months.

  She kissed me back fully then, embracing the passion and letting herself go with me. I could feel the surrender. I could also sense the slight bit of hesitation inside of her letting go as well. I was happy that our passion could release all of that anger inside of her.

  I moved my hand around her, feeling the softness of her flesh under her blouse. It was a little short, almost like a modified cut off type of thing. It was damn sexy leaving just a little bit of the midriff showing. And now it made for some easy access as I touched her. She had amazing curves. They were so soft and sensuous that I loved to caress them. It turned me on like crazy. I was growing so hard that I was being pinned by my jeans.

  Kat seemed to sense what I was feeling. She knew exactly what I needed right then. She reached over and began to touch my crotch, massaging my cock through my jeans. It felt incredible. I could sense every single nuance of her fingers as they traced my length trapped behind the denim wall. My cock moved and began to stretch out pushing against that resistance.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” I said.

  “Sure,” Kat said with a smile.

  I led her upstairs to the bathroom where the Jacuzzi was located. I started it up and as the water filled the tub, I continued perpetrating the foreplay between us. I kissed Kat deeply, held her close to me, and I began to remove her clothes. I started with her blouse and pulled it over her head.

  As I dropped the blouse to the floor, she was now wearing only a bra with her jeans. This was very hot. There was something about a woman who was only partially naked that was almost more alluring at times, more erotic than if she was actually naked. Kat’s large breasts were pushing against the constraints of her bra now and I could not help myself from staring at the massive girth. They were beautiful. I stared at them for a moment as if I were hypnotized.

  Then I pulled her closer allowing her to press against my chest. I kissed her deeply, invading her mouth with my tongue, licking against hers and sliding past it into the deepest recesses of her beautiful mouth. She tasted so damn sweet I couldn’t stand it.

  I reached up and ripped the clasp of the bra and sent it falling to the floor so I could now see her large breasts uncovered. They were incredible. Every time I saw them, it was almost like the first time and I started to feel overwhelmed with lust and emotion.

  I removed my shirt and jeans. I followed with my boxers. My cock was hard as could be, standing straight up for her to do with as she wished. She wiggled out of her jeans and then pulled her panties down. As she did so, she bent over right in front of me as far as she could so that I could see that part between her crack and the sexy slit inside of her. Her pussy was so beautiful. I could not stop staring at it. I wanted it more than anything else in the world. Nothing meant anything to me except for this. I was overcome with a type of animal lust right then that I could not handle. I had to have her.

  The water had filled the Jacuzzi and I quickly turned it off. Then I stepped into the hot water ignoring the heat burning my skin from stepping in too quickly. I stood there for a moment and stroked my cock hard. I was so horny that I thought might come at any moment. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold out. I’d never been more turned on in my life. This woman had some kind of a crazy hold over me, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to get truly comfortable with her, without being driven mad by desire that was like being possessed by a fiery demon. I had no control over myself with her. I was just hers. I belonged to her.

  I took her hand and helped her into the Jacuzzi. Then we both sat down trying to get used to the water that was swirling around us. The bubble jets were doing their jobs and the current of the water was caressing my cock.

  Kat kissed me hard and then she turned around and bent over showing me everything she had. I almost melted right then, my body coming undone with overpowering lust. I lunged forward and quickly positioned my cock inside of her tig
htness. She was so wet and so warm. Somehow warmer than the water. She wrapped around me like a beautiful glove of total pleasure.

  I could barely contain myself as I entered her. “Yes…oh…baby, you are too perfect,” I moaned as I fucked her slowly savoring the sensations of her body against mine. She fit me as tightly as could be. I pushed into her sliding faster, and faster enjoying the feeling of fucking under the water.

  Her pussy gripped the head of my dick as I slid it into her, cradling it and squeezing me at the end as I entered the tightest part of her. She rocked her hips gently backwards trying to hit against me at the right moment.

  Kat was moaning loudly now. I could feel her body lighting up, getting warmer, her movements growing much more intense to match mine. I closed my eyes and pushed into her slowly, inching my way in then until I was fully engorged inside of her. Then I kept myself there just to see what she would do. Kat bucked back against me in long, hard thrusts pulling my hard cock inside of her as far as it would go.

  As she did so, I could not stop staring at her asshole. It looked so tight, so inviting to me. I wasn’t sure how she felt about anal play, but now was as good a time as any to find out.

  “Your ass looks so good,” I whispered as I leaned forward and placed my mouth right by her ear. I kissed her lobe softly and then stuck the tip of my tongue in it. She groaned accordingly. Yes, she was so into this…

  I placed my finger next to her asshole as she fucked me, her sweet pussy bouncing back and forth against my cock, burying me fully inside of her. “Stick it in,” Kat said. “Finger my ass…”

  I slipped my finger right into her tight hole all the way up to the third knuckle. She paused and then began to hump me wildly. I shoved my hard cock into her to counter this and continued to fuck her wet pussy. Her asshole was so tight and soft. I wanted it around my cock so badly. She seemed to love it. “Finger it…oh good…that’s it… use more fingers in my ass…”

  She demanded more and I was happy to give more. I was ready to give her everything I could…

  I took three fingers and placed them in her asshole then. She went wild with moans of pleasure and I could feel her pussy getting even wetter as I fucked her harder, trying to hold off on my own orgasm for the time being.

  I was almost there though. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. I desperately wanted to come and fill her full of my sweet load. “Do you want it?” I asked.

  “Yes! Fuck…”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Fill me full dammit!” Kat yelled then.

  I decided to give her exactly what she wanted. I pumped my cock into her as hard as I could until I could hardly breathe. I was almost there… just a little bit more… oh, fuck this was good…I was so close…so close to it all…

  “I’m… coming…” Kat moaned.

  And then a moment later it happened. I still had my fingers in her ass, and I could feel her climax happening through that. Her pussy started to quiver and stroke my hard cock, tightening around it as I entered her harder and harder. I felt like my lower back was going to give out at any moment. I could not bear to go any farther, but I had to. My orgasm was everything to me in that moment. This release would be epic, and it would be the best orgasm of my life. I was sure of it.

  “AARGGH!” I yelled as my cum exploded out of my dick into her own earth shattering orgasm.

  “Oh…shit!” Kat groaned as she finished her orgasm on me. She was now so tight, so wet around me, her body pulsating up and down my shaft as I somehow found the strength to keep pushing into her.

  Finally, we collapsed against each other in the hot water of the Jacuzzi. I held her closely to me, her warm, wet body quivered against my own. My breath was done, I could hardly move now. I was totally spent, but it had been worth every single bit of effort it had taken to achieve this total bliss.

  “That was amazing,” I said.

  “Yeah, that was… and I enjoyed the extra surprise. Next time, I think you should go for it. I’ve always been curious about that.”

  “Good to know,” I said. I would definitely take her up on that offer. Just thinking about it was getting me a bit hot, but I was too spent to really give it a proper shot.

  * * *

  The next morning, I was awakened by a phone ringing. At first, I thought it was my phone and I reached through the darkness to find it. I was too tired to open my eyes yet. It felt like I had not been asleep very long at all. I was searching for the phone but not having much luck finding it in my current state.

  I forced my eyes open and tried to shield them from the morning light streaming into my room through the dark curtains. I hadn’t meant to sleep so late, but Kat had worn me out. I was exhausted as if I had not slept at all.

  I picked up my phone and started to answer it when I realized that it was not my phone ringing. It was Kat’s. She was asleep on the other side of the bed. I slapped her ass lightly and got her to stir awake.

  “You are getting a phone call,” I said.

  She rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone to answer it. As she did, I pulled up my own phone and discovered that it was almost nine. Damn, I’d slept way longer than I’d meant to. I stepped out of bed and took a good long stretch with a silent yawn to match. Kat answered the phone behind me.

  “Hello? Yes, this is her.”

  It sounded somewhat official. It was then that I heard her voice change to one of total glee. She stepped out of bed wide awake now and began to pace as she listened. I had a very bad feeling washing over me just then. I had the feeling that I was not about like what Kat was going to tell me when she got off the phone.

  “Yes, that sounds great,” Kat said. “Thank you so much for calling. I’ll be there right away.”

  She ended the call and practically jumped in the air for joy. I knew what had happened before she even said a word, but I had to pretend anyway.

  “Good news?” I asked.

  Her face looked suddenly a bit sullen. She understood then, what she had to tell me. I could see it all over her face. But I waited for her to say it anyway. I waited to see how she was going to say it. I had to give her that choice.

  “That was the coach of the Cleveland Comets. They want me. They actually want me. And they want me to pitch for them.”

  Kat practically had tears of joy in her eyes. I knew what was next. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I have to do this. It’s my dream. It’s what I want most in the world right now. I won’t make millions doing it, but this is what I want. And I need to be in Cleveland in the next few days for training camp. I’m sorry. I know you were counting on me to go in this marriage with you. But, I can’t. I’m not even sure how we would make a long-distance relationship work that way. We’d never see each other.”

  I nodded. “I understand. And there is absolutely no way I can talk you out of it? We can pretend that you are still here. We don’t have to tell my father anything about that. We can fool him long enough.”

  Kat was already shaking her head and I felt like a chump for even asking. Dammit. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I wanted to be happy for her, but I just didn’t have it in me. I was too crushed. I really cared about this girl.

  “No,” Kat said. “I’m sorry. I have to do this. I’m so sorry. I do care about you and what we have, but I just don’t see it working out with this. I have to move to Cleveland and I’ll probably stay there even during the offseason.”

  I felt like my heart was breaking into pieces. I was getting nauseas, and for a second I thought I was going to pass out in a dead faint. This was too much. This was not the way I had envisioned all of this going. I was back to square one as far as this thing with my father was concerned, and I was losing the love of my life as well. I supposed I could follow her and change stations, but I dismissed the idea as soon as it entered my brain. She obviously did not care about me enough for this to be anything more than a hard decision. I just couldn’t believe it. This was really happen
ing this way. I might never even see Kat again. The time we’d spent like last night… all of that was just going to be a wash now? Was that it? There were so many things I wanted to say to her right now, but I knew that if I did then, I would probably end up hurting her in some way.

  It was better if I just took it like a man and didn’t say a word. “Well, I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to.”

  Kat smiled. She walked over to me and kissed me softly. We were both still nude and I was oddly turned on, based on the current state of affairs. I was also hurt and emotionally wrecked and I was doing my best to ignore it, but like a sharp rock in my shoe, it kept jabbing at me. I figured it would pass in time, and I would just have to suffer through it until then. That was the way my life was going these days. But something good would eventually come out of it, I was certain. It had always been my experience that when something bad happened, that meant it was meant to happen that way so something much better could come out of it.

  “Thanks,” Kat said. “You too. Call me any time if you just want to talk… or anything.”

  “I will.”

  I took that as a sign that she wouldn’t have been opposed to me driving up to Cleveland every now and then to spend time with her. But I would let her get settled for a bit first. I was willing to bet that she would realize quickly how much she missed me. Then maybe she would be willing to at least give the long-distance thing a shot.

  I watched her get dressed, leave my house and my world. Just like that the love of my life was walking away from me and she would probably never know how I felt.

  When I watched her pull out of the driveway, I felt a sense of loneliness and total isolation that I had ever felt. At least, I hadn’t felt this way since Kat came into my life. Dammit. Why did she have to go? What was I going to do about this money situation? I would have to see if I could find someone else. But I didn’t want anyone else, even if they were willing to marry me and have a child as a ruse to fool my father. I didn’t really want it unless it was real. And now I would have to pretend. My father would probably see right through it.