Until Us

by Cristin Cooper

  “It just hits me out of nowhere sometimes,” Katie murmured.

  “I know. Me too,” Alexis said with a slight hitch in her voice. “Let’s have fun tonight…for Eric.”

  Katie nodded while she straightened and wiped tears from her cheeks “So what do you think?” She asked opening her arms and turning around showing off the costume.

  “Perfect,” Alexis said with a sad smile. It was then that Katie noticed Alexis’s costume.

  “Uh…who are you?” Katie had a feeling she would be asking this all night.

  Alexis laughed and said, “I’m the eleventh Doctor, of course.” She adjusted her bow tie and snapped her suspenders.

  Katie stared at her wondering if she missed something. Doctor of what? Before she could ask, Alexis held up her hand. “Hold on a second.” She quickly stepped into her office and returned holding a fez and some tool thing with a light on the end. She smiled but Katie still had no idea who she was. “Ugh, Katie! I’m the eleventh Doctor. As in Dr. Who.”

  “Oh. Right and I’m….?” she asked.

  “Oh my goodness, Katie. We’re going to sit down and have a Dr. Who marathon tomorrow. You cannot keep going through life without knowing the awesomeness that is Dr. Who.”

  Katie smiled, still clueless who she was dressed up as but didn’t care. Alexis was happy and that was all that mattered.

  She had needlessly worried about people asking her who she was since all of Alexis’s friends seemed to know already and complimented her on her costume.

  She kept hearing the words “spoilers” and “sweetie.” She just smiled, assuming it had something to do with her character.

  Katie loved Alexis’s friends…her friends too she supposed. They were welcoming and relatively patient with her when they had to explain certain things. She really did want to understand what they were talking about and, for the most part, she did enjoy some of Alexis’s favorite things. She even had fun playing a multiplayer online game, though she would never be a true gamer and only really enjoyed doing quests because of the story lines.

  Katie looked around and recognized most of the guests, but there were way more than she expected. The condo was noisy and crowded. People were playing on Alexis’s gaming systems and talking in groups. But Katie’s primary source of entertainment was watching everyone do it drunk.

  She had never been a drinker, at least not since she was sixteen and Billy found her drunk and heartbroken on the side of the road. Since then she had been careful about drinking…and the guys she chose to date. She thought she would feel like she was missing out while holding her ginger ale, but so far, she didn’t mind being sober.

  What she did feel was increasingly tired. Partying pregnant wasn’t much fun, especially when most smells made her nauseous. She pretty much wanted to hide in her room….or anywhere near a toilet. Her stomach rolled again. Stan, Alexis’s friend, leaned into her, going into detail about his favorite Dr. Who episode. She smiled and nodded but couldn’t add anything to the conversation. He didn’t seem to mind.

  When Alexis called for him to help her with a debate, he barely gave Katie a ‘see ya later’ and took off to help his friend. She wasn’t offended, especially knowing he had a huge crush on her clueless friend. When she met Stan the night she moved to Portland, he made it very clear he only had eyes for Alexis. It was sweet and sad since Alexis wasn’t aware of his affections.

  Katie sighed and went to the kitchen for another ginger ale. Instead of returning to the party, she hopped onto the kitchen counter and leaned back against the cabinets and watched the clock on the wall. She had promised Alexis she would stay up until midnight, but with another hour to go, she wasn’t sure she could make it. Her eyes drooped until she heard a familiar voice. “Hey, sleepy head.”

  She smiled before she managed to open her eyes. “I didn’t know you were coming.” She slid off the counter and moved into Tyler’s arms.

  “I was hoping to be here earlier, but I got a late start leaving.”

  She stepped back and smiled up at him. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen your cute face. How long are you staying?”

  He blushed and said, “Same here,” with a tired smile. “I have the next two days off to hang out with you and Alexis.”

  She yawned, temporarily distorting her smile.

  “Isn’t it past your bed time?”

  She nodded as she wiped at her tired eyes. “Yeah, but I’m trying to stay up as long as I can.”

  He shook his head and pulled her out of the kitchen then down the hall toward the bedrooms. “You need to take care of yourself, Katie. If Alexis has a problem with you going to bed, then tell her to take it up with me.”

  As they walked down the hall, she noticed something. “How did you manage to get into the party without a costume?”

  He chuckled and shrugged. “I guess I got lucky.”

  “That isn’t fair,” she said with a pout. He pulled on her lip and forced her mouth into a smile.

  “You look great by the way. Are you River Song?”

  She stopped mid-step. “How did you know that?”

  “I’ve been friends with Alexis since she was a baby and have been forced, more than once, into watching her favorite shows, including her Dr. Who marathons.”

  “If you’re going to be sticking around, prepare yourself for another. I’m getting schooled.”

  His smile turned into a chuckle. “Thanks for the warning.”

  When they reached her bedroom, he opened the door and pushed it open only to close it quickly. He turned to face her with his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. “You…” he pointed a finger at her and shook his head. “You aren’t going in there.”

  Curious as to what would cause him to blush, she tried to push past him. He braced himself in front of the door, refusing to let her pass. “I…uh. You’re going to stay with me at Tracy and Jeff’s. You shouldn’t be around drinking anyway.”

  She let him take her hand, but when he stepped away from the door, she quickly pushed him out of the way and opened the door and stood with her jaw slack and her eyes bulging.

  In front of her stood a man with his pants around his ankles, pushing into a girl kneeling on her bed completely unaware of their audience.

  She was stunned silent and couldn’t move until the man shouted, “Starbuck!” pushing into the girl one last time. She quickly shut the door and stared at Tyler, whose shoulders were shaking from holding in his laughter.

  “Oh my god!” she said outraged. “They’re soiling my bed!” Tyler could no longer hold it in and bent over, holding his stomach, laughing until his eyes watered.

  His laugh was so free and uninhibited; she couldn’t help join him, even though she was thoroughly disgusted. “I’m going to have nightmares.”

  “Come on, you’re coming with me.” He took her hand and attempted to pull her toward the front door, but she refused.

  “But” —she pointed to her closed door— “all my stuff is in there. I can’t wear these contacts all night, and my glasses are in there, along with my pajamas.”

  He stood silently while he seemed to debate whether or not to go back into the bedroom. Finally, he said, “Wear your old pair of glasses you keep in your car and you can borrow pajamas from Tracy.”

  “Have you seen Tracy? She’s built just like Alexis. She doesn’t have these.” She shook her hips dramatically while she also pointed to her butt. “I would never be able to wear anything of hers.”

  His lips twitched as he kept his eyes on her hips, which caused her to blush more, if that were even possible. She typically avoided pointing out her curves. “Then wear one of my t-shirts. It’ll probably be long enough for you.”

  She huffed, looking back to her door then to him. “Fine.” There was no way she could go back in there even if it were her room. But she was going to make an official complaint to Alexis.

  She lifted her car keys off the key holder next to the door and followed Tyler to her car to get her
old pair of glasses. They were at least ten years old, and the prescription wasn’t nearly strong enough, but it was better than her contacts or walking around with everything completely blurry.

  Pulling out of the guest parking lot, he said, “I’ll take you shopping tomorrow for new bedding.” The image of what she saw came back in one irritating vision. The idea of somebody in her bed gave her the willies. “I think I’m going to need a new mattress and maybe a room. I can’t un-see that.”

  When she looked over at Tyler, she noticed he no longer held a hint of a smile. “How often does this happen? Parties, drinking, and people staying over late?”

  She understood his concern, but Alexis wasn’t much of a partier, contrary to what he just witnessed.

  “Like that?” She pointed her thumb toward the condo. “Halloween and her birthday. She has a handful of friends over once a month to watch movies or play board games, but they don’t even drink alcohol those nights. Most of Alexis social time is spent playing online games with people she doesn’t know in real life.”

  She watched the tension leave his shoulders and the crease between his eyes ease. “I’ll still need to find another place to live before the baby comes. It’s her condo and she shouldn’t have to change her life to work around a baby.”

  “Are you still thinking about moving home?” His voice was low as he glanced over at her.

  She didn’t want to tell him all that she had been thinking about. Like how she still felt more like an incubator than a mother or how much she wished she could run away from her life, including the baby growing inside of her.

  “Yeah. But I haven’t decided. It would be the easy thing to do. I could live in the apartment above the diner, have a job I enjoy, and have Mom and Billy there to help me out.

  “But?” he asked, somehow always knowing when there was a but.

  “But…it’s not home, and I like living here. I could take Dad up on his offer to live with him and Jenny then commute to school.” She sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” The fear of having to support another human being and the responsibility weighed heavily on her shoulders.

  If Eric were here… It wasn’t fair she had to go through this alone. She ran her hand over her stomach and wondered for the hundredth time if giving the baby up for adoption would be the better choice.

  After a few minutes of silence, she bravely asked, “Can I ask you something without you judging me?”

  He looked over at her with a curious expression. “You can ask me anything,”

  She drew in a deep breath and asked the question she hadn’t dare ask anyone including her mother. “Do you think it makes me a bad person that I don’t love the baby?”

  He slowed the car until he was able to pull over to the side of the road. He put it in park then turned to face her. “It doesn’t make you a bad person. I don’t know if there is a timeline when parents begin to love their children. I think some love them before they are even created and others not until they are in their arms.”

  She released a sigh of relief. “So I could fall in love with the baby?”

  “Are you afraid you won’t?”

  “I’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly that I won’t love it.”

  “Oh, Katie, it’ll happen. You have a big heart. I can’t imagine you not loving your baby.”

  “I used to think that too, but at the ultrasound… I didn’t feel anything. I want the baby to feel loved. Every child deserves that. I mean it already won’t have a dad…”

  Tyler leaned over and held her in his arms, rubbing his hand up and down her back, comforting her and soothing her fear. “You’ll love this baby. I have no doubt.”

  Once they were back on the road, another question popped into her head. “Can I ask you something else?”

  His brow wrinkled and he looked like he was bracing himself for another doozy. “Sure,” he said cautiously.

  “What is a Starbuck?”

  His laughter swallowed up the silence as he tried to explain Battlestar Galactica.

  Chapter Thirteen

  November 2015

  Tyler

  “Happy Thanksgiving!” A chorus of female voices said at the same time when Tyler walked into his mother’s busy kitchen. Breathing in the mouth-watering aroma of turkey and stuffing, he moaned with happiness.

  His mother’s kitchen had always represented comfort and home. She was an amazing cook who believed everything was made better with food. Add his family and it made for the perfect day, even if his sister’s teased him relentlessly. It wouldn’t be the same otherwise.

  All four sisters and his mother busily worked together while the husband’s entertained all the kids outside, making sure they kept them from being underfoot.

  He opened the sliding glass door leading to the backyard and let Bubba lose on the kids. Like his sisters, Tyler was put to work in the kitchen.

  He didn’t mind being in the kitchen with the women. His mother had taught him at an early age that just because he was a boy didn’t mean he got out of learning, what his friends called ‘girl work’. He knew how to prepare food from scratch, use a sewing machine, and even crochet.

  He was busily cutting up veggies for everyone to snack on when he received a text from Katie. The first one of the day. He texted her first thing that morning, like most days, but hadn’t heard back. He’d been growing concerned since it was nearing noon without a word.

  Normally, he would have blown it off as her being busy. But the night before they talked for over an hour about how nervous she was about meeting Phillip’s parents.

  As he dried his hands on a kitchen towel, his sister Rebecca took the phone from his back pocket and read the text out loud like an annoying older sister.

  “Oh, it’s from Katie and look at the picture she sent.” The girls huddled in the center of the kitchen all trying to get a glimpse of the photo while he attempted to get his phone back.

  “She’s so cute and look at her tiny stomach,” Naomi gushed.

  “What?” he asked, finally pulling the phone out of Rebecca’s grasp. “Why would she send a picture of her stomach?” Before his sisters could respond, he read the text and finally understood.

  He had to admit, it was a great photo. She stood next to a wall showing off her profile. Even though she hadn’t looked directly at the camera, he recognized that bright smile and knew she was mid-laugh when the picture was taken. Her shirt was lifted up to her bra line and the waistband of her leggings below the slight stomach bulge.

  Underneath the image she texted: I grew out of my jeans just in time. I don’t have to feel guilty for wearing spandex or elastic waist pants for Thanksgiving.

  When he lifted his head with a big cheesy smile, he realized his mother and sisters were all watching his reaction. He was caught and he knew it.

  “You like her.” Leah’s voice was tinged with sadness. Out of all his sisters, with only being separated by thirteen months, she was the one he was closest to and the one who would understand how this wasn’t a good thing.

  Their eyes met and he nodded his head slightly, the smile no longer on his face.

  Every day he resisted the pull Katie had on him. But it was pointless. Even from a distance, it was easy being her friend. They had a give and take he hadn’t experienced with any other woman. He usually gave until there was nothing else to give. She listened to him when he needed an ear. Complimented him on things from being smart to being a hard worker. She understood his sense of humor and laughed at his jokes. She told him he was cute. It may seem silly or vain, but he liked hearing it, and every night after sharing their day with each other, she told him how much he meant to her. She made him feel like a hero. And those were the makings of a broken heart.

  His others sisters seemed clueless to what he was feeling and took his phone again. This time, Esther dialed Katie’s number and put her on speakerphone.

  “Hey,” Katie answered with a happy lilt to her voice.

  As if on
cue, his sisters and mother said “Happy Thanksgiving” to her before explaining that she was on speakerphone so they could all talk to her. After spending ten minutes talking about her pregnancy and baby stuff with his sisters, Rebecca changed the subject.

  “Did Tyler not invite you? We told him to.”

  She giggled, knowing full-well she was going to get the third degree from them. They could make anyone spill their story, whether they wanted to or not. “He did, but I went home to Flagstaff to meet Phillip’s parents…err my grandparents, I guess.”

  “When are you going to meet them?” he managed to ask before his sisters interrupted him.

  “Mom and Billy invited everyone here. They thought it would be better for me to meet them where I’m the most comfortable and,” her voice lowered, the background noise disappeared and then they heard the sound of a door closing. “I think Mom is worried my grandfather won’t be nice or something. I guess he was a real jerk when Dad was growing up.”

  “So is your dad going to be there?” Esther asked before he could.

  “Yeah. Phillip, Jenny, and the kids arrived not too long ago. Diane and Chuck, who worked in the diner most of my growing up, got here this morning. My grandparents will be here any minute.” Her voice shook slightly at the end.

  “You must be nervous,” Leah said.

  “I am. I want them to like me, but since they didn’t know about me until last year… I don’t have any idea what they think about all of this and Dad hasn’t said anything except they want to meet me.” He could hear the fear in her voice and he wished he could be there with her.

  His mother finally spoke, silencing his sisters. “Katie, they will love you.” He smiled when his sisters all nodded their heads and openly agreed with their mother.

  “Thank you, Joyce. That’s sweet to say.”

  “I’m Mom to you missy,” his mother clarified.

  Katie’s slight giggle wrapped around his heart and squeezed. The easiness between her and his mother and sister’s only verified how great she was. Anyone who could take on this group of women and come out laughing was the perfect girl for him. That brought a whole new pain in his heart.