Forbidden Love

by Phillips, Laura

  Even the volunteering numbers seemed to be down the last few days.

  The heat was keeping people away and the few fans that were in the building weren’t helping much.

  Anna wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. It was almost lunchtime and she was tempted to go down to the lake if Lara wasn’t back yet.

  Today was also her birthday.

  She was eighteen, but she didn’t tell anyone at the shelter. She never liked the attention so today was just like any other day for her.

  She decided to finish the two boxes in front of her and then she’d go on her break.

  Just as she was about to open the second one, she heard a smoke detector go off in the distance.

  Lara sighed as she kept going, cutting the box open with a knife.

  They had a strict no smoking policy but every so often someone lit a cigarette and set off the alarm.

  It should go off in a few seconds when they put it out and fanned away the smoke.

  A few minutes later, another smoke detector went off, and then another and Lara stopped what she was doing to see what was going on.

  She stepped out into the hall but didn’t see anyone, so she turned the corner to go into the kitchen. She didn’t see anyone there either, but she could smell the smoke.

  The longer she volunteered at the shelter, the greater respect she had for all that they did here for people in tough situations.

  When someone carelessly lit up a cigarette, it drove her insane. They thought it was harmless but there was always the chance of a fire.

  Anna moved through the kitchen, ready to let the smoker know what she thought when she found them.

  When she left the kitchen and opened the door on the far side of the room, she was nearly thrown backwards with the intense heat.

  She slammed the door shut again, coughing on the smoke that had suddenly invaded her lungs.

  All the alarms were sounding now, and Anna covered her mouth with her shirt as she turned back to go the way she came.

  She stayed low as she went to go out the back door that deliveries sometimes came in through, but it was locked. She swore under her breath as she kept going.

  The smoke was everywhere now, and Anna was gripping the wall as she tried to remember where she was going.

  She couldn’t get out through the back, so she needed to get out through the room that everyone slept in or through the hallway.

  She could hear the siren of a fire truck getting closer and suddenly realized how serious this was.

  She should have just left when she heard the alarm no matter how many times it had been accidentally set off in the past.

  She blinked back tears, the smoke getting to her eyes as she crept through the hallway. She could just make out the door at the end of the hall on the right.

  I’m nearly there. Just a few more steps.

  She almost collided with a firefighter as she opened the door. He was on his way in, but he helped her get outside and to safety.

  He asked her if she knew how many were still inside, but she shook her head. She had no idea.

  She stumbled down the steps and bent over, with her hands covering her mouth, to have a much-needed coughing fit.

  She was out in the fresh air, but she felt like she couldn’t get the oxygen into her lungs fast enough.

  After a few seconds of coughing she felt better. Someone handed her a bottle of water and she took a long drink.

  She pushed the loose strands back that had fallen from her pony tail and looked up at the sky with her hands on her waist.

  She was okay.

  “Anna?!”

  She heard Lara’s voice as she closed her jeep door and came running towards her.

  Lara wrapped her arms around her and Anna mirrored her actions, slipping her arms around her back.

  “Oh my God,” Lara said as she looked into her eyes, still holding onto her arms. “Are you okay? We just got back, and I didn’t know if you got out.”

  “I’m okay,” Anna said, hearing the roughness of her voice.

  “Are you sure? Do you need to get checked out?” Lara asked, glancing over at the two ambulances that had pulled up.

  “No. I’m fine.” Anna looked down at her arms and legs. She was covered in soot, but she was fine.

  “Do you want to get cleaned up at mine?”

  Anna knew she was a mess, but her house was an hour away and she wanted to stick around here and see if there was anything she could do. Going to Lara’s made sense.

  “Sure.”

  “Come on. I’ll drive,” Lara said as she slipped her arm around Anna’s waist.

  Anna was about to object. She was fine. She didn’t need help walking to her car, but it was nice having Lara’s arm around her like that, so she didn’t say anything. She leaned into her instead.

  They drove back to Lara’s in silence. Anna kept drinking water and taking deep breaths. Her eyes were still watery, but she was starting to feel better.

  When they pulled up outside Lara’s, Anna followed her inside. She’d gotten used to being here for their afternoon swims, so she made herself at home, sitting down on the couch in the living.

  “I’ll find some clothes and you can shower in the guest room,” Lara said before she climbed the stairs.

  “Thanks,” Anna called after her but then started coughing again.

  A few minutes later, Lara was back with clothes and a towel. “Hope these are okay,” she said, handing the pile to her.

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s upstairs… the second door on the left.”

  “Okay. I won’t be long.”

  “Take your time.”

  ***

  Anna made her way back down the stairs a half hour later, with her soot covered clothes under her arm. She’d tied her wet hair up in a messy bun and put on the black cotton shorts and tank top that Lara had given her.

  “Hey,” Lara said from the couch as she turned to face her. “Feeling better?”

  “Yeah. Thanks for letting me shower here. I’m just going to put these clothes out in the jeep if that’s okay.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Just leave them on the table by the door. Unless you’re in a rush to get going?”

  “No. Not all,” Anna said as she left her clothes down on the narrow table and joined Lara on the couch.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “Water would be great.”

  “Sure,” Lara said as she went into the kitchen and brought back two cold bottles. “Here you go.”

  Anna reached out to take it, her thirst still not quenched. She took a long drink before leaving the bottle down on the coffee table.

  “Anna, you’re shaking,” Lara said with a concerned voice. She reached out to cover Anna’s trembling hand.

  “I guess I’m still in shock.”

  Anna glanced down at Lara’s hand, her fingers gently running across Anna’s hand.

  Lara’s touch was presumably meant to comfort her but instead, it was making her feel even more jumpy.

  “When I parked outside the shelter and saw the smoke billowing out,” Lara said. “I looked for you. I saw Lucas. I saw Marie. John was with me…”

  “I was so stupid,” Anna said, meeting her eyes. “I didn’t leave straight away. I thought it was just another smoker setting off an alarm.”

  “You gave me such a scare today.”

  Anna returned Lara’s stare. Her expression changed from one of concern to longing and Anna noticed Lara’s eyes flicker down to her lips.

  Anna swallowed, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting.

  She’d been wrestling with her feelings for Lara in the last week, since they’d been spending their lunch breaks at the pool.

  Somehow Anna’s feelings had changed in the last few days.

  She’d always felt close to Lara but now, when she looked at her, there was something more there. A sense of longing, of attraction…

  And for the first time, she recognize
d that look in Lara’s green eyes too.

  Anna glanced down at Lara’s lips before meeting her piercing eyes again.

  They had inched closer together in the last few seconds, their legs touching now.

  Anna knew she should say something, but she just couldn’t form the words.

  All she could think about were how soft Lara’s lips looked, how much she wanted to lean in…

  She didn’t know who initiated it, but Anna’s lips were pressed against Lara’s a second later.

  Lara’s hand cupped her cheek as their lips brushed against one another’s and time seemed to stand still.

  Anna felt a tingling of electricity run through her body as Lara’s lips gently parted against hers.

  Anna’s fingers interlaced with Lara’s in her lap as they continued to kiss.

  She ran a hand through Lara’s thick golden-brown hair, kissing her with more passion this time.

  Lara was the first to pull away.

  “What just happened?” Anna whispered as her eyes fluttered open.

  Lara moved her hand away from Anna’s as she looked away, avoiding Anna’s eyes.

  “I just kissed a minor,” Lara said in a barely audible voice. She stood up and started pacing the floor. “Anna, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that just happened.”

  Anna cleared her throat. “I’m not a minor…”

  “You’re not? I thought you were starting your senior year?”

  “Today’s my birthday.”

  Lara sat back down next to her again. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I don’t like a fuss.”

  Lara sighed. “So, you’re eighteen?”

  “Yes.”

  “Happy birthday,” she said with a lopsided smile.

  “Thanks…”

  “I’m still sorry… I didn’t mean to take advantage… I don’t know what just happened.”

  “It’s okay,” Anna said. “I was a willing participant,” she said, returning her smile.

  “That can’t happen again.” Lara stood up again and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay?”

  “Okay,” Anna echoed.

  “I’m married.”

  “I know.”

  “We should probably get going.”

  “Let’s go,” Anna agreed as she stood up. She could see how flustered Lara had become.

  Anna didn’t know how she was going to just forget that the kiss happened but for now she wasn’t going to argue with her.

  She wasn’t going to reveal that she’d been thinking about kissing her like that since the first day she saw her in a bikini.

  And she definitely wasn’t going to mention that look… that look that made Anna certain that this wasn’t one sided.

  Chapter Seven

  Lara drove them back to the shelter where there were now police cars instead of fire trucks.

  They found John standing outside talking to an officer and he made his way over to them as soon as he finished their conversation.

  “Do they know what happened?” Lara asked him.

  “It’s not definite but it’s looking like a cigarette started it,” John said as she glanced back at the building. “It’s not as bad as it looks though. It’s mostly cosmetic damage. We should be back to normal in a week or two.”

  “And everyone got out okay?” Anna asked.

  John nodded. “Thank God. I’ll be in touch when we’re ready to open again. There’s some repair work that needs to be done.”

  “Okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” Lara said.

  “I will. Thanks.”

  “I better go talk to that reporter I’ve been putting off all afternoon,” John said.

  They watched him walk away and things were still incredibly awkward between Lara and Anna.

  “So, I’ll see you when we’re open again?” Anna asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t want things to be weird between us…” Anna’s eyes were locked onto Lara’s. “I want to keep volunteering here.” She studied her face for a reaction, but Lara’s expression was neutral. “Are we still friends?”

  “Of course.”

  “So, we should still be able to spend time together…Without it being awkward.”

  “I know. I’d like that,” Lara said. “I don’t want anything to change…I’ve had a great summer and a lot of it has to do with meeting you.”

  “Are you free on Friday?”

  “I guess I am now,” she said as she glanced at the shelter.

  “I have two tickets to the Yankees game and the Red Sox are coming to town,” Anna said with a slight smile. “Do you want to come with me?”

  “I’d love to,” Lara said, her lips moving into a smile.

  “Perfect.”

  Chapter Eight

  There was a constant fluttering in the pit of Anna’s stomach throughout the game and it had nothing to do with the fact that the game went down to the bottom of the ninth.

  She was having a fantastic time with Lara, better than she could have imagined it going. There was constant trash talking and friendly banter between them.

  It was like their kiss never happened. Their friendship was back but Anna couldn’t help but notice when Lara’s hand grabbed onto her arm or her leg during a big play.

  Things were no longer awkward, but Anna knew there was still something more between them. She knew that she couldn’t hide it.

  She was looking at Lara with a gaze full of longing and she didn’t care.

  They were surrounded by Yankee’s fans and Lara took a lot of abuse. She was wearing an Ortiz jersey and a Red Sox cap, and she owned it.

  They spent the train ride back analyzing the game and despite Lara being a Red Sox fan, Anna could listen to her talk all day about her team and their players.

  Anna knew she was in trouble. She did want to remain friends with Lara but after today she didn’t think she’d be able to reign in her feelings for her.

  And what does that mean anyway? Am I gay? Bi-sexual?

  She wanted to talk to Lara about it, but she thought it could get weird… fast. She didn’t know how Lara thought of herself.

  Did she identify as bi-sexual?

  Was her time with Nina a mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment?

  What about their kiss?

  Was that real or would Lara maintain that she’s straight?

  She couldn’t talk to Lara about it. She’d be admitting her feelings for her when she was trying to move past them and just be friends.

  But she didn’t know how to do that.

  And what about Jake?

  Anna had met him on the 4th of July and he seemed like an amazing guy. She couldn’t find anything wrong with him. He was good looking, funny, kind to Lara from what she could see.

  She tried to find some sense of guilt but no matter how many times she reminded herself that Lara was married, and that Jake didn’t deserve this, she only thought about how much she wanted Lara.

  Chapter Nine

  Anna drove back from the train station with Lara in the passenger seat beside her.

  Anna glanced up through the windscreen, leaning forward to get a good look at the night sky while they were stopped at a red light.

  “What are you looking for?” Lara asked as Anna pulled away, returning her attention to the road.

  “There’s a slight chance that we could see the Aurora Borealis tonight.”

  “Really?”

  Anna nodded. “And there’s a clear sky. Are you in a rush to get back?”

  “No. Jake’s away this weekend on some business trip.”

  “I know a place… the view is amazing on a normal day and there’s no lights for miles. It would be the perfect place to try and see it.”

  “Sure. Let’s go.”

  Anna had gotten a notification on Twitter about the Aurora Borealis, but she hadn’t planned on getting to see it. The forecast was cloudy for tonight and tomorrow, but they got it wrong. There wasn’t a cloud in si
ght.

  Anna turned off the main road and up a narrow, windy road to the lookout.

  Ten minutes later Anna parked in the small, deserted parking lot. They were the only ones who thought to come up here tonight.

  They got out of the car and Anna turned on the flashlight on her phone as she made her way over to the bench that looked out across the mountains.

  When Lara sat down beside her, she turned off the light.

  They both looked up and out across the mountains at the swirl of purple and greens that filled the starry night sky.

  “Wow,” Lara whispered beside her.

  It was like someone had used the black sky as a canvas and painted it with neon watercolors, the purples and greens blending in with the deep blue of the night sky.

  “Did you see them when you lived in Washington?” Anna asked, taking her eyes off the sky to look at Lara.

  “Only twice. I lived in Seattle, so we couldn’t see them from our house, but I was on a camping trip once and another time I took a drive like this to catch a glimpse of it. It’s pretty amazing.”

  “It is.”

  They were sitting side by side on the bench, their upper arms touching.

  Anna resisted the urge to glance over at her again. Even with this stunning night sky to distract her, Anna found it so hard to keep her eyes off Lara.

  “This might sound a little crazy,” Anna started. She turned to face Lara, her arm resting on the back of the wooden bench.

  “Okay…” Lara mirrored her movements, their arms lightly touching on the back of the bench.

  “What if it was just me and you? No one else… No other commitments… No expectations…”

  Lara sighed softly as she gently ran the tip of her index finger along Anna’s arm, leaving behind a wake of goosebumps.

  “It’s not that simple.”

  Anna felt her pulse speed up, like she’d been given a shot of caffeine straight to the heart.

  She was expecting Lara to brush away a question like that, to not even acknowledge it.

  She was waiting for Lara to ask her what she’d meant or to tell her that it was all one sided, that there was nothing between them really.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” Anna said, trying to keep her voice level. “What if it was that simple? Just for a second, put everything else aside. I know that’s not realistic. I’m just curious.”