Forbidden Love

by Phillips, Laura

  “So, this is all there is?” Lara asked, glancing up at the glowing sky. “You and me?”

  Anna nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. Her eyes followed Lara’s fingertip as it trailed down her arm and found Anna’s hand, their fingers interlacing together easily.

  “I’d probably ask you if I could kiss you again,” Lara said as she held Anna’s gaze.

  “Why would you have to ask me first?”

  “Because we just agreed a few days ago that we should be friends and you said you don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

  “I didn’t want to lose you as a friend but for the record, you never have to ask if it’s okay to kiss me,” Anna said with a smile. “The answer will always be ‘yes.’”

  “Okay then,” Lara said, glancing down at their hands. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

  “So, does that go both ways?” Anna asked. “If I wanted to kiss you, could I just lean in…”

  Anna’s gaze dropped to her lips for a second before returning to Lara’s stunning green eyes.

  “Or do I have to ask first?” Anna whispered with her lips hovering just inches away from Lara’s.

  Anna didn’t wait for a response.

  She could feel the electricity crackling between them and if she waited any longer the moment would be lost.

  Anna closed her eyes as she leaned in, closing the gap between them.

  Her lips brushed against Lara’s cautiously, still conscious of the decision they’d made a few days ago to not let this happen again.

  She felt Lara’s hand cup her cheek, deepening the kiss and parting her lips against Anna’s.

  Anna stifled the moan that she could feel building up inside of her as Lara’s tongue grazed across her own.

  Lara wanted this as much as she did.

  Anna let Lara pull her in until she was practically on top of her, their lips still locked together in an intense kiss.

  Anna threw caution aside.

  If they had gotten this far, why not keep going?

  She pulled away but only for a second so that she could straddle Lara’s waist.

  Anna’s eyes met Lara’s looking for any objections, but she didn’t see any.

  She bent down, one hand on Lara’s neck, the other lost in her chestnut waves, and found her lips once again.

  Lara’s hands moved to Anna’s back, caressing her through her top.

  She wondered if this was how Lara felt when she first met Nina, a mix of attraction, infatuation and lust.

  This was all new to her, but she never felt more sure of herself.

  Kissing Lara was nothing at all like kissing Chase.

  The more she thought about it the more Anna realized that Chase was never more than her best friend.

  It wasn’t because she was young that she didn’t feel that extra spark with him… It was because she was gay.

  Now she knew what Lara meant when she said she was a different person with Nina.

  That’s how she felt when she was with Lara… Like she could be herself; that this was the real her.

  There was just one massive problem. Lara was married.

  It was something that they hadn’t talked about much but now she knew that they’d have to.

  Anna needed to know if this was the best she could ever do with Lara… stolen kisses and meetings when Jake was away…

  Or was there something worth exploring here?

  Would she leave him for me?

  Anna had no idea about any of it.

  The only thing she knew for sure was how much she loved running her hands through Lara’s thick wavy hair while their lips met in a fiery kiss that sent shivers down Anna’s spine.

  Anna had no idea how long they’d been up there. Time became irrelevant.

  Lara’s hands slipped underneath Anna’s top, her fingernails lightly raking across her back as their lips met in a smoldering kiss.

  Anna could feel pins and needles creep through her legs.

  She didn’t know how much longer she could stay like this, with her knees digging into the wooden bench as she straddled Lara’s lap.

  She hated to move but the pain was becoming unbearable. She broke their kiss and stood up, maintaining eye contact, trying to read Lara’s mind.

  Did she regret this? Forgetting about real life for a while?

  Anna watched Lara push herself off the bench and stand in front of her, brushing a lock of Anna’s blond hair away from her eyes.

  “I keep forgetting that you’re only eighteen,” Lara whispered as she tucked the blond strands behind Anna’s ear. “And then… I start to think about all the reasons why this is insane even if it was only me and you… with nothing else to worry about.”

  “What sort of an age gap are we talking about?”

  “I’m twenty-seven,” Lara said softly, her green eyes still locked on Anna’s.

  Anna nodded. “Okay… I get why me being eighteen could freak you out but… You know me. I’m not…” Anna struggled to find the words.

  “Immature, childish… self-centered?” Lara guessed.

  “Yeah,” Anna said with a smile.

  “I know you’re not but it’s still nine years… And I’m still married.”

  “Are you happy?”

  Lara looked taken aback by her question.

  “I’m… I’m content… comfortable… It’s easy,” Lara finished.

  “Is that what you really want?”

  “Honestly… I don’t know anymore,” Lara said with a sigh as she looked up at the glowing sky.

  “I’m not going to give you some sort of ultimatum… This is…,” Anna started as she took a deep breath. “This is new for me too. A few months ago, I never even thought… I’d never…” Anna sighed as she tried to string the right words together. “I didn’t know I was gay. Now it seems like the most obvious thing in the world,” Anna said as she ran a hand through her hair.

  “So, what happens next?”

  “We just see where this goes…”

  “Okay,” Lara said with a weak smile.

  “And this stays between us. You don’t have to worry about anyone finding out.”

  “Thank you… I can’t guarantee that this isn’t going to go horribly wrong… For either of us. But I don’t think I can ignore it anymore,” Lara said as her hand slipped around Anna’s waist.

  Anna leaned into her, wrapping her arm around her as they looked up at the glowing night sky.

  “I can't either.”

  Chapter Ten

  In the two weeks while the shelter was closed for repairs and inspections, Lara and Anna spent most of their days together.

  They went to the movies and took hikes through the woods near the lake.

  Jake worked long hours, so Anna could see Lara almost as much as she liked but they were finding it more and more difficult to control themselves.

  Their kisses had always been passionate and hard to put a stop to, but they hadn’t slept together yet and the tension was rising.

  Anna was reluctant to stay over at Lara’s even though some nights Jake was away on a business trip.

  She was so afraid of getting caught because she knew that would be the end of them.

  She just had a feeling that while things were easy, Lara would keep going, but if Jake found out… Anna couldn’t see Lara calling it quits with him.

  She’d go back and try and be the happily married wife, forgetting all about Anna.

  She was dreading the end of summer when she’d only be volunteering on Saturdays or maybe not at all if she was too busy at school. Anna knew that they’d hardly get to see each other then.

  This was her last full week of volunteering and Lara wasn’t even there for much of it.

  Lara had said that she’d been interviewing for a new job and most days she was only around for a few hours.

  Today she arrived when Anna was on her way out.

  “Hey,” Anna said with a smile as she met Lara in the parking lot. �
�How’d the interview go?”

  “Good, I think. I have one more tomorrow with another school.”

  “Are you okay with staying where you are if none of them work out?” Anna asked.

  “It wouldn’t be ideal, but I could stick it for another year. I just don’t get along with the principal and he’s not going anywhere so I need to get out before he drives me crazy.”

  “I’m sure you’ll get one of them.”

  “The last one also needed someone to take over the school newspaper so that would be an added bonus,” Lara said.

  “When will you know?”

  “Any day now. There’s not much time to prepare but that’s how it goes. One job is covering maternity leave, so I don’t know when I’d actually be starting that one. It could be in a month or two. Anyway, I better get inside.”

  “Are you free this weekend?” Anna asked.

  “I think so. Why? What did you have in mind?”

  “I was thinking about taking you away for a night.”

  Lara’s eyebrows rose. “You’re being secretive.”

  “Let me know if you can and then I might tell you a bit more. Saturday night? Then we’ll come back Sunday?”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay you’re free or okay you’ll let me know?” Anna asked with a smile.

  “I’m free… Or I’ll make sure I’m free. Whatever might be happening can get rescheduled. We’re running out of summer.”

  “I know… Okay, I’ll organize everything. Just pack a bag and I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “Alright.”

  Lara leaned in to give her a quick hug and say goodbye before she climbed the stairs and went inside the shelter.

  Anna got in her car with a smile on her face. She had plan.

  Chapter Eleven

  On Saturday morning, they pulled up outside Anna’s parent’s cabin after a two-hour drive and she could tell that Lara was impressed.

  Anna had only said that her family had a place in upstate New York and that it was free this weekend.

  The three-bedroom log cabin overlooked the lake and the mountains in the distance and

  Anna never got tired of the view. Each time she came up here, no matter what season it was, it was beautiful.

  They walked up the steps to the front door and Lara couldn’t get over the view. The mountains towered over the lake which was busy with people water skiing and wake boarding. They had their own pier and there wasn’t another house in site.

  “This is amazing,” Lara said with her hands on her hips as she met Anna’s eyes.

  “It’s been busy here all summer but this weekend it happened to be free,” Anna said as she opened the door.

  “Who else stays here?”

  “I have two older brothers. They usually bring their families here at least twice a year. Their kids love the lake. One lives in Albany and the other lives in Queens, so they like to get their kids out here and show them what it’s like to live in the country.”

  “So, you have a few nieces and nephews?”

  “Two of each,” Anna said as she took a quick look around. Luckily the place was clean. They were always good for leaving the cabin ready for the next person, but you just never knew. “What about you?”

  “I have one sister and she has three boys,” Lara said as she followed her inside.

  The cabin was spacious with the kitchen overlooking the living room. There was a deck out the back, through the sliding doors at the far side of the living room and a porch in the front. There were two bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs, with the master upstairs.

  The house looked lived in with almost everything you would need already there. Anna’s family never wanted to worry about loading up a car to come here so they kept the house stocked with the basics.

  The only thing they needed was a bit of food and they stopped along the way to pick up a few essentials and something to cook for dinner.

  Anna almost asked Lara if she wanted kids but realized that would completely kill the mood.

  Maybe Jake wanted kids and she didn’t? Or she did but he didn’t?

  Anna didn’t want to know because it involved Jake and she was going to do her best not to bring up his name this weekend.

  “So… We have the place to ourselves,” Anna said. “I’m going to bring in our bags and then we can relax or go for a swim… a hike… Whatever you want.”

  “Okay. I’m just going to go freshen up.”

  Anna leaned in to kiss Lara lightly on the lips before she went back out to the car to get their things.

  The weather was perfect. It was hot but not stifling. They’d be able to go for a swim in the lake without feeling like it was mandatory.

  Anna brought in their bags and left them in the master bedroom upstairs. They’d packed light since they were only going to be here one night.

  Anna lifted her bag onto the bed and left her pajamas beside the bed. She turned when she heard the bathroom door open.

  Lara was standing in the doorway with a black bikini on, her chestnut waves falling just below her shoulders.

  “How do you feel about going for a swim?” Lara asked with a smile.

  Anna knew she was gawking, but it’d been a while since she’d seen Lara in a bikini, not since they’d kissed that day when there was a fire in the shelter.

  Lara laughed softly as she crossed the room to where Anna was standing beside the bed. “That’s the kind of reaction I was looking for.”

  “You are stunning,” Anna said in almost a whisper as she wrapped her arm around Lara’s waist, the feeling of her soft skin under her fingertips sending a shiver through Anna’s body.

  Anna’s other hand cupped Lara’s cheek as she pulled her in for a soft kiss.

  She’d just meant for it to be a quick kiss before she found her bikini and they went down to the water, but Lara’s lips parted against hers and she could feel herself melting into Lara’s arms.

  Lara’s tongue skimmed across her lower lip and Anna’s fingers gripped Lara’s hip as their tongues met.

  Anna broke the kiss. “If we’re going down to the lake, we need to go now…”

  “We’ll pick up where we left off after,” Lara said with a smile as she leaned in to lightly kiss her lips. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.”

  Anna watched her pad across the carpet in her bare feet and couldn’t wait until they came back up here. Lara was slowly driving her crazy.

  At least they had this weekend together. She wanted to talk to Lara properly, but she knew she was afraid of the answers to the questions she wanted to ask.

  It had been three weeks since that night when Anna asked her to forget about everything else and imagine it was just the two of them.

  Things had been amazing ever since except for the fact that it wasn’t just the two of them.

  Anna needed to know where she stood but she knew it was too late already.

  She’d fallen for Lara and after tonight she was really going to be in trouble.

  How could she go back to her normal life after they spent the night together?

  It was like going over the cliff. There was no turning back.

  But tonight was happening.

  She couldn’t resist Lara any longer and Anna knew that she felt the same. Their kisses were becoming more heated, their hands more adventurous.

  They needed tonight. It might convince Lara that this was real. That she needed to make a decision and pick between the two of them.

  Except Anna wasn’t so sure that Lara would pick her…

  She pushed those thoughts away and got undressed, slipping her bikini on and then checking her reflection in the mirror on her way downstairs. She’d left her blond hair down with a black hair tie on her wrist for later.

  She walked barefoot across the grass on her way down to the pier just as Lara was diving into the water. There were a few boats and jet skis in the distance, but the water was calm where they were.

  Anna jumped in
after her, the warm afternoon sun glistening off the water, and swam over to her.

  “So, this is what summers are like for you?” Lara asked.

  “Yeah. It’s been different the last few years now that my brothers have kids. We’ve been coming up here separately now or I tag along with one of them. It’s not just the summers though. I love coming out here in the winter. We play ice hockey and there’s a few trails for snowmobiling.”

  “I can see why you’d get out here as much as possible. It’s a beautiful spot,” Lara said as she treaded water.

  “The only thing is the reception isn’t great. Have you heard back from any of the interviews yet?”

  “No. Not yet.”

  “You should bring your phone out here. You’ll have a much better chance of getting any calls out here then you would inside.”

  Lara glanced back at the house. “It’s okay. I’m sure they can leave me a message if they can’t get through.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  “Yeah,” Lara said with a lopsided smile. “I really want to move schools. I’ve been thinking about it since June and staying on another year really wasn’t an option but the longer this goes on… I guess I have to start thinking about doing just one more year there. Then I’m getting out.”

  “Is it that bad?”

  “No. It’s just the principal. Everyone else there is amazing. The school is less than thirty minutes from my house.”

  “Things will work themselves out.”

  “Oh…You’re one of those,” Lara said as she swam closer to her, wrapping her arms around Anna.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Permanent optimist? Everything will fall into place when it’s meant to.”

  “Yeah,” Anna said with a smile. “I guess I am. And please don’t blame it on being young and naïve.”

  “I won’t. I envy that outlook on life. It makes everything so simple… There’s nothing to worry about when you believe everything happens for a reason.”

  “Right,” Anna said softly as she gazed into Lara’s green eyes, realizing how much worrying she’d already been doing about her and what would happen to them.

  “So, I know you told me that I don’t have to ask you if it’s okay to kiss you… But I’ve been practicing some incredible self-restraint since we got here.”