by Jordan Marie
“Boy, there’s one thing you need to know about life. It moves fast enough on its own. You don’t need to rush it along and never—and I mean never—do something you don’t want to do because everyone else has.”
“Well, Jansen, I mean it’s not like I don’t want to do it. I’m a guy and Cyn is hot. But…”
“But, what?”
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s me she likes or the fact that I’m the star of the baseball team.”
“Where does Kayla fit into all of this?”
“I thought it was me that she liked… but, it couldn’t have been if she turned me down… Could it?”
“I don’t know much about women, Green. They’re a mystery to me, even at my age. I’d venture to say most men feel that way. But, I do know Kayla. That girl has a whole passel of issues about not feeling good enough and that stems from how hard she has it at home. I could see her worrying about not being good enough.”
“But, she’s pretty and sweet. Any guy would love to have her on his arm.”
“You may see that, but I doubt Kayla does, son.”
“That’s sad.”
“It is, but it’s also a good reason for you not to ask Kayla out again, until you’re sure how you feel.”
“But…”
“Some girls are delicate. You can hurt them if you aren’t careful, Green. A man never wants to hurt a woman. You do that and you’re as low to the ground as a dog’s belly.”
“Some dogs are pretty tall,” he jokes.
“Green—”
“Yeah, I get it, Jansen. Thanks for the advice. Maybe I should sort through my head before I take Kayla out.”
“That might be a good idea,” I agree.
“Besides there’s always prom next year. Kayla would look hot in a prom dress.”
I just shake my head. There’s not much I can say to that.
“What are you making?”
“I’m making a kitchen table for your Momma for Valentine’s.”
“A kitchen table?”
“Yeah. You don’t think she’ll like it?”
“Jansen, maybe girls are a mystery to you because you don’t understand what they like,” he says.
“What do they like?” I ask, wondering if I should laugh, be offended or take notes.
“Not something like that,” he says sagely, putting his hand on my arm. “Girls like chocolates and flowers for Valentine’s Day. Trust me on this one, big guy. You get Mom a table for Valentine’s and she’s going to kick you to the curb.”
“Well, I don’t want that.”
“None of us do. We like you and you make Mom laugh. She hasn’t laughed in a long time.”
I let that information settle inside of me.
I like it.
“I guess I should probably get some flowers to go on top of the table,” I tell him, keeping my voice even and serious. I’ll never tell him I was already going to give her flowers and a ring. He thinks he’s helping me out and damn if I won’t always let him believe that.
“That’d be a good idea. She likes lilies,” he adds helpfully.
I grin. I guess he did help me out, after all.
“You want to help me on the table?” I ask, figuring he’d say no.
“Really? What do you want me to do?” he asks, surprising me, so I put him to work sanding the top I had forged together earlier.
It’s going to be a huge table and damn sturdy, too. Hopefully, when I’m done, White, Gray, Green and the twins all could wrestle on it and maybe even throw Cyan into the mix and it’d still stand.
I just hope Ida Sue likes it.
26
Ida Sue
It’s been a hell of a day. I’ve been going since sun up and I haven’t stopped. I delivered baked goods to several stores that sell them for me for a portion of the take. I delivered fifty custom cupcakes and four pies that the local sandwich shop ordered and then I cleaned three houses and Mrs. Fisher waved me down as I was leaving town and offered me cash if I helped at her diner, because the normal waitress got sick and had to go home. I was dead on my feet and I wanted to say no. I needed the money however, because Green’s baseball is not cheap and neither are diapers for Mary, Maggie’s school books, and the twins need new shoes…
The list seems to never end. Being a single parent is exhausting and a constant worry. I can’t count the number of times I’ve woken up at four in the morning wondering if I had enough money coming in to make sure my kids had what they needed for the week. It’s wearing me out. So, instead of coming home and having dinner with my children, seeing Jansen and relaxing, I called Maggie and asked if she’d watch the baby for me and told her to have the boys fend for themselves until I got home.
I hate this. I fucking hate it.
I feel like an absentee parent. I feel like I’m failing everyone, myself but mostly my children. Some look at me and they think I’m getting what I deserve for having so many children, others think I’m no better than a whore and never will be. Mostly I can write those people off, but some nights it gets to me. This is going to be one of those nights, maybe because I feel like they are right. But then, I never would have had so many children if I wasn’t secure in my relationship with Orville. I forgot while he was alive what a bitch fate is and how it likes to sucker punch me.
I’m so tired that I could fall asleep, but I shake it off as the house comes into view. I’ve got to have enough energy to fix dinner for everyone, get Mary bathed and the kids tucked in. Then, I’ll grab a glass of wine and collapse.
That plan changes when I see Jansen walking off the porch and making his way to the driveway.
“You’re home late,” Jansen says, opening my truck door as I shut the engine off.
“Don’t I know it,” I moan, sliding out of my seat onto the ground.
Jansen takes his strong arm and wraps it around me, pulling me into his body as he slams the truck door closed. I go willingly, too tired to even pull my head up to kiss him, instead settling for resting my head on his chest and having him hold me.
“You’ve got to quit working so hard, Lovey. You can’t keep it up.”
“I’ll slow down soon. You’re already helping with the ranch. We’re on track to make profit again this month. I just need to catch up on things that have fallen behind and then—”
“Let me help, Ida Sue. I have money in the bank, I can—”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re not at that point in our relationship. I will not take money from you, Jansen. If things work out and we’re together and not just seeing each other on the side, then maybe it would be different. But—”
“You’re a stubborn woman,” he grumbles.
“I’ve been told that before,” I agree, yawning.
“Have you eaten?”
“No. I’ll make the kids something and—”
“They’ve already eaten, Lovey.”
“They did?”
“Yep. I took care of it.”
“You cook?”
“I ordered pizza. Does that count?” he says with a sweet smile and some of the burden of today somehow magically disappears.
“I think I love you,” I exclaim, without thinking of how that sounds. I freeze in his arms and this funny look comes over his face. Shit. “I mean—”
I don’t finish because his lips slam down on mine, robbing me of voice and breath. His kiss is urgent, his tongue unrelenting, his hand tightened to the point of pain in my hair and I love every moment of it. I hold onto him and let him take me where he wants, gasping when he pulls me up into his arms.
“Someday you’re going to say those words to me, Lovey and you’ll mean them,” he vows, his voice hoarse and gravelly enough that it makes chills run through my entire body.
“Jansen,” I murmur, trying to control my runaway heart. My legs are lying over his arm, his other at my back and his hand holding to my side as he carries me. “Where are we going?”
&
nbsp; “I need some time alone with you.”
Alright. I want that, too. But, I’ve already been an absentee mother most of the day…
“I need to make sure the kids get their homework finished and the baby—”
“I helped Green with his homework while Maggie bathed Mary. The others didn’t really have any work and were playing videogames. We ate pizza and I cleaned the kitchen—which consisted of throwing away paper plates, empty boxes and bottles of soda. They’re in their rooms now doing what kids do. You and I, Ida Sue, are going to spend some time alone.”
“We are?”
“Definitely.”
“Do I get to ask what we’re doing?” I laugh, definitely feeling better than I did before I got out of the truck.
“First, you’ll eat pizza.”
“And then?”
“Then we’ll do what adults do when they’re alone.”
“That sounds promising,” I murmur, pressing a kiss against Jansen’s shirt… smiling.
“God I hope so,” Jansen says, his voice solid, strong… something you can hold on to.
Just like the man.
Maybe my luck has finally changed…
27
Jansen
“Jansen, I mean, I thought we were going back to your office or the—”
“If the kids come looking for me, they aren’t going to catch me with my hand down their Momma’s pants, Lovey.”
Her mouth opens, but she doesn’t tell me to go to hell. Instead, she looks up at the big tree and the pieces of wood that have been nailed up it to make a ladder.
“Jansen, this is not a good idea. Let’s go to—”
“You don’t want me? Is that it?”
“Don’t be stupid. We were just swappin’ spit a minute ago. Despite what you may think, I don’t let that many men stick their tongue in my mouth.”
“Swappin’ spit?” I bark, my head going back in shock. I swear this woman…
“Exactly.”
“Such a romantic, you are, Lovey.”
“Maybe I’d be romantic if you’d quit using dandelions for brains. You’d have to be dumb, blind and stupid to not know I want you.”
“Then, what’s the problem?”
“You want me to climb a ladder! And not even a real ladder, at that!”
“Lovey? Are you afraid of heights?”
“Of course not. Now, you’re just ridiculous.”
“Then, what—”
“I’m not scared, I’m more… anxious.”
“Anxious?” I laugh, thinking that’s probably the same.
“As a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” she mumbles under her breath. “I ain’t sure I can do this, Jansen.”
“You can. I’ll be right behind you.”
“But…”
“Ida Sue, Honey Girl, look at me.”
Slowly she brings her panicked face to look at me, her eyes wide.
“Jansen—”
“I’m here with you. If you fall, I will catch you.”
“But—”
“I’ll always catch you, Lovey. Every. Damn. Time.”
She doesn’t say anything. She stares at me for a few minutes and then she slowly nods her head in agreement.
I should probably feel guilty for pushing her to do this. The truth is, it’s not that high. She could fall out and probably be fine. I’m about to tell her not to worry about it, that I’ll climb up and get the pizza and we’ll go to my quarters, when she climbs the first step. I move in close behind her.
“If you let me fall, Jansen Reed, I’ll kick you so hard you’ll be walking around like there’s a saddle horn stuck in your ass for days,” she mutters.
I’d respond, but I’m doing my best to keep from laughing, so I just make sure she can feel my hand on her back as we climb the few short steps to the treehouse. I should be ashamed, because I can tell she’s really afraid, but the entire time I get the view of her sweet ass in those tight jeans. I don’t know a man alive who would want to pass up that show.
Once we make it inside she scoots over to where I have the pizza sitting with a couple of sodas. I didn’t plan in advance or I would have stopped in town and picked up some wine. This was the best I could do on short notice. I walk over to the small table the kids have to turn on the radio. I have to do it hunched over, because there’s not enough room to stand.
“This damn thing needs to be taller, a man could get hunchbacked like this.”
“It’s tall enough for the kids,” Ida Sue argues.
“Not for me.” I click on the radio and the soft sounds of a country ballad fills the air.
“I don’t think grown men are supposed to be in kids’ playhouses, that’s a little gross.”
“Not if they’re in it to seduce the kids’ mother,” I counter.
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“If I say yes, are you going to take off running down the tree?”
“I’m still recovering from the climb up. I don’t think I can handle a trip down just yet.”
“So, you’re saying I have you trapped here and at my mercy,” I murmur going to sit beside her.
“I would be worried, but to be honest…”
“Yeah?” I ask, half listening as I drag my finger along the curve of her neck, moving upwards to her jawline.
“My lady balls are starting to turn blue from all the make out sessions we seem to have that never go anywhere.”
My finger stills, my gaze going to her face.
“Lovey, if you have any kind of balls we might ought to call a halt to my plans for tonight.”
“I wouldn’t have figured you for the type of man to be afraid, Jansen Reed.”
“Well, there’s just some things a man can’t overlook,” I respond with a grin. I drop my finger back down her neck, following an imaginary line down her throat, across her stomach and only stopping when my hand is perched on the button of her jeans. “Still, you’re one hell of a woman, Ida Sue. I should probably investigate before I just give up.”
“I always did like a man with some stick-to-it-iveness,” she replies, still smiling, but I can hear desire creeping deeper and deeper into her voice.
“I do like to please, Lovey,” I admit, while undoing her jeans. The sound of the zipper slowly releasing makes my cock ache. Jesus, it feels like I’ve wanted this woman for years. It also feels like she’s the only woman I’ve ever wanted in my life. Which solidifies my decision to give her a ring. I want her to wear my ring. I want everyone to know that she belongs to me.
At forty-four I finally found her.
The one.
I’m not about to let her get away.
28
Ida Sue
“I do like to please, Lovey.”
My heart is beating out of my chest. I’m scared. I can admit that—at least to myself. I haven’t been with a man in a long time. Even when Orville was alive, sex didn’t happen that often and I was okay with that. I loved Orville, but it wasn’t really a romantic love. With Jansen, my emotions are all messed in with my libido. If we do this, am I making a mistake? Will it ruin what we have? Can I even trust what we have?
I have all these questions and no real answers. But, I know that I want Jansen. I also know, that I want him enough to take this chance.
“What are you thinking about so hard, Honey Girl?” Jansen asks.
“Would you think I’m a fool, if I told you I was scared?”
“You don’t have to be scared. I promise you, you can trust me.”
“I think I can, but I’d be lying to both of us if I didn’t admit that I have doubts.”
“Then, I guess I’ll just have to load those doubts away.”
When he says that, his hands are busy sliding my pants down over my hips. His gaze never leaves mine, our eyes locked together, sharing this moment. It’s been a long time since I was a virgin, but right now I feel like one all over again.
“I got you, Lovey. I promise, I’ll al
ways have you.”
“Jansen…”
My voice breaks off in a gasp as I feel his fingers move softly against the lips of my pussy. They barely touch, just a gentle caress, and yet I can feel the wetness pool and slide against the tender folds in a way that he has to feel them against his fingers.
“You’re safe with me, Lovey. I just want you to let yourself go. Can you do that? Just for tonight? Enjoy what I make you feel, let yourself fall and know that I’ll be here to catch you.”
My nails bite into his back as I hold onto him. I nod my head ever so slowly in agreement. He keeps his hand over my pussy, cupping the warmth there—but not moving.
With his free hand, he deftly pulls my t-shirt and bra up, exposing my breasts. A brief panic hits me because my breasts are not like they used to be. Having children and dancing that thin line close to forty has caused them to sag. I don’t know what Jansen is used to in a woman, but I’m pretty sure it’s not someone who has had nine children and breast fed each and every one of them. I’ve stopped breastfeeding Mary already, but my breasts are still tender, even though the milk is gone.
Will he be disappointed? Disgusted?!?!
“So damn beautiful, Ida Sue,” he whispers, bending down.
His lips place a gentle kiss on my distended nipple. Then slowly, almost torturously, brings it into his mouth, sucking it against the roof of his mouth and then letting his tongue play. At the same time, his fingers brush across my other breast. The dual sensation sends hunger through my body. I cry out with need just as I feel him touch my clit.
His touch is petal soft, but it feels so wonderful that my hips rock upwards as I try to open myself up to him even more. He presses harder against my swollen clit, swirling in the wetness he finds there as he releases my nipple from his mouth. He blows against the wet skin sending goosebumps over the flesh. My body feels like a livewire that he’s in control of.
“My beautiful Ida Sue. Soft and sweet as honey with enough fire to burn a man clean through. How in the hell did I get lucky enough to find you at this point in my life?” he murmurs, his eyes so dark they look like liquid.