When We Fall

by Madeleine Labitan

  CHAPTER 17

  Sawyer

  Parker is on his phone next to his Lexus when I step out into the parking lot after the last period ended. I plan to continue walking and pretend not to see him, but the stark look of concern etched all over his features compels me to approach. He looks like he needs help.

  "Parker, what's wrong?"

  Ending the call, his haunted eyes find mine. "Mom's gone missing."

  My eyes pop wide in alarm. "She snuck out?"

  Dianne is in no condition to go out of the house on her own. I can't imagine the trouble she'll court out there.

  "I need to find her." He goes to open the driver's side of his car.

  "I'm coming with you." I don't even think twice. I'm already rounding to the passenger's side.

  "Where can she be?" Parker grinds out as he peels away from the parking lot. "Damn it. I told Janna not to let her out of her sight."

  "Maybe she went to the bathroom, and your mom used the opportunity to sneak out. Sometimes, you can't avoid these things, Parker."

  "I know that." He blows out a breath. "I just… Fuck!" He hits the steering wheel with his free hand, making me jump.

  Cautiously, I put a hand on his arm. "We're going to find her, okay? She couldn't have gotten far."

  "Unless she drove her car."

  "I didn't even think of that," I say quietly. Then something occurs to me. "I think I know where Dianne is."

  He whips his head to me. "You do? Where?"

  "What if she went out to buy some liquor? Aria and I had caught her about to do just that last week, remember?"

  Parker curses under his breath before flooring his car.

  We reach the nearest grocery store in record time. He haphazardly parks the Lexus in the parking space, then we get out in a hurry.

  "That's her car," Parker says, pointing to a red BMW a few parking spots away. "She's inside."

  "Let's get her."

  Hurrying inside the store and ignoring the customers' curious looks, we find Dianne still in her silk robe at one of the checkout counters, holding three liquor bottles and arguing with the cashier.

  Oh, this is bad. This is really, really bad.

  "I have money. Don't you recognize me? I'm Dianne Holloway!" she cries. "I just left it at home. Call my son. He'll get the money here!"

  She's already attracted a small crowd, and people are whispering as they stare at Dianne.

  "Mom," Parker calls her attention, his face red.

  Every head turns in our direction.

  Dianne's face brightens when she sees us. "There he is. Parker, sweetie, give him money."

  Parker approaches, but instead of giving her money, he pries the bottles from her hands and sets them down on the counter. "Let's get you home, Mom."

  "No. What are you doing? I need those."

  "We have plenty at home. I'll give you one when we get there."

  She shakes her head, her eyes wild. "You're lying."

  Sensing that she'll make an even bigger scene, I go to them. "He's not. But just to be safe, I'll be the one to give you the wine, okay?" I assure Dianne, feeling sick in my stomach for lying to her.

  She balls my sweater in her fist and gives me an imploring look. "Do you promise that?"

  I swallow hard. "I promise."

  "Okay," she nods. Then smiles at Parker. "Let's go home."

  Parker squeezes his eyes shut, relief flooding his features. "Thank you," he mouths to me before leading his mom out of the store, glaring hard at the nosy customers still watching us.

  There's no way this incident will stay inside the store. These people are going to talk, and Dianne's current state will no longer be a secret. Yet another problem Parker has to deal with.

  "Shit. I forgot she brought her car with her," he gripes once we're outside.

  "Give me the keys. I'll drive it to your home. My car is still in school, anyway."

  His lips quirk up. "You're a lifesaver, you know that, right?"

  "Just being an upstanding citizen," I joke, making him chuckle.

  I wait for Parker and Dianne to drive away in his Lexus before I get into Dianne's BMW and back it out of the parking lot.

  While I drive, I think back to what happened in the grocery store. No doubt, the next few days will have the whole town talking about it—especially since it involves the Holloways, one of the most prominent families in Holy Oaks. Dianne herself used to be influential, often serving as an organizer of community events and activities. Now, everyone is about to find out that she's become a shell of her former self. The self-assured woman that they'd known was long gone.

  I just hope for the Holloways' sake that the issue will blow over fast. This will surely put them in the spotlight, and Parker doesn't need any more stress in his hands.

  Reaching their home, I park in the driveway right behind the Lexus, and climb out of the car.

  Parker is padding down the stairs when I step inside the house. Dianne is nowhere in sight. She's probably already up in her room, waiting for her glass of wine.

  Guilt stabs at me when I remember my promise to her. But it's not like I had a choice. I had to help Parker get her out of that store in any way I could.

  Pushing it off to the back of my mind, I walk over to Parker and hand over his mom's car keys. "I parked it behind your car."

  "Thank you," he says earnestly. "You've been a lot of help today."

  I wave a hand even as a blush rises to my cheeks. "It was nothing."

  His eyebrows draw together. "It wasn't nothing. Don't play it down, Peaches."

  "Um, okay." Suddenly feeling shy, I clear my throat. "So, I need a ride back to school."

  He shoves his hands into his pants pockets. "I'd ask you to stay a while longer, but knowing you, you'd likely end up sleeping over again." The embarrassed glare I shot him makes him smile. "I don't think you'd get away with it a second time."

  He's not far off, though. It can very well happen, and Dad will no doubt ground me for real.

  "Then we better move before I decide to stay," I retort, spinning on my heels to head outside before I end up doing just that. I'm really tempted, to be honest.

  I hear him mumble something under his breath before his footsteps sound behind me.

  The drive back to school is veiled in silence, but it's far from awkward. I'm pretty sure Parker and I are already past that stage. In just a matter of weeks, we've moved from being casual acquaintances to...close friends? Honestly, I'm still uncertain if I can call us that.

  But does it even really matter? We've relied on each other so many times that putting a label on what we are to each other doesn't feel important anymore. Bottomline is, we get along—most days, anyway.

  I'm lost in my thoughts that I don't notice right away that we already reached the school's deserted parking lot.

  Parker pulls to a stop but keeps the engine running. "You said what you did was nothing," he says in a quiet voice. "But I honestly don't know if I could've found her that fast without you. It didn't even occur to me to look for her in the store. I kept thinking—what if I hadn't been able to get to her in time? What if she got into an accident?" A hollow laugh escapes him. "Worse thing is, this wasn't the first time she did that. Once, we even found her two towns over."

  Pain and self-loathing intermingle, arresting his features, making my heart tighten in my chest.

  He doesn't deserve to feel any of it.

  "Parker, don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault she got out of the house. You didn't make her. Her actions were all her own."

  He shakes his head, unyielding. "She's not in the right frame of mind."

  "It's still not your fault," I stress out. "Some things are bound to happen out of your control. You can't beat yourself up when they do. Besides, we managed to find your mom right on time. That's what matters, right?"

  The pained look on his face fades as a small smile curves his lips. "You're really good at that, Peaches. Ever thought of becoming a motivational spe
aker?"

  "Maybe once or twice," I joke.

  But he doesn't return my humor. He's staring at me with a quiet intensity that only he has mastered, holding my gaze captive and seizing my breath.

  I glance away before I can get lost in the promise I glimpsed in the depths of his eyes. "I guess I should go."

  "Right."

  Why does it suddenly feel awkward? So much for thinking that we're already past this.

  I don't want to part ways with him like this, so I lean forward, intending to give him a kiss on the cheek.

  But he turns his head in the last second. Instead of my lips touching his cheek, they meet his own.

  Shocked at the contact and the sudden electricity coursing through me, I gasp and pull back.

  Only I don't get far. His hand snakes out and cups the back of my neck, stilling my movements. Then he's deepening the kiss, exploring my mouth in a way Liam never had.

  He's kissing me like I'm his lifeline. Like he needs me to breathe. Like he'll drown without me.

  Maybe it's the raw need in his kiss. Maybe it's due to the attraction I've secretly always felt for him. Or simply because he's a damn good kisser.

  But instead of shoving him away, I kiss him back. Match every toe-curling movement of his lips. Explore every delicious corner of his mouth like he does mine.

  I kiss him like I'm answering his need. Like I'm soothing every ache and pain he's feeling. Like I'm providing comfort in the best possible way I know.

  When he lifts his head and pulls away, I'm in a daze and practically panting. My lips are swollen, my cheeks flushed.

  Parker and I just kissed. That just happened.

  But what now? Still breathless, I raise my eyes to his, wanting to make sense of what just happened.

  But he's not looking at me. His gaze is averted, his face unreadable.

  Apprehension starts slithering down my spine. "I—"

  "It's getting late," he interrupts before I can say anything, the iciness in his tone like a cold splash of water over my head.

  Flinching, I snap my head up. Did I hear him right? Is he throwing me out of his car not even a minute after kissing me?

  The emotionless eyes staring back at me just answered those questions.

  CHAPTER 18

  Sawyer

  It's been days since the kiss, and Parker has spent the whole time avoiding me. He won't talk to me. He won't even spare me a single glance. If he so much as spots me walking in his direction, he pretends not to see me.

  As if tossing me out of his car didn't feel like a slap to the face already. Maybe he wants to twist the knife deeper to send his point across.

  His point being that the kiss had been nothing but a mistake. Well, he shouldn't have bothered. I already got the message loud and clear that day at the parking lot.

  But it doesn't mean I'm angry. Oh, I am. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty freaking pissed. I don't need this complication. I didn't ask him to kiss me. So, why the hell is he acting like I'm at fault here?

  But as much as I want to confront him, it's not the right time. Like I'd predicted, word had spread about Dianne's meltdown at the grocery store. Now, the whole student body of Holy Oaks Prep is talking about it.

  But while Jamie, Bennett and Giovanni are going around threatening the people making fun of Dianne, Parker isn't doing anything to put a lid on it. His only reaction is to glare at them, which has everyone scurrying away.

  In hindsight, I guess it's just as effective as directly confronting them.

  Despite what Parker did though, there's still a part of me that wants to be there for him. That wants to tell him he can go to me if he needs someone to talk to. But it's clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me. And I'm not in the habit of forcing myself on someone who doesn't want me.

  In AP Government, I make sure to keep a neutral expression when I take the seat next to him. Just like the last time we were here, he pretends not to notice me, the sudden stiffness in his shoulders telling me he's having a hard time doing so.

  Good. Why do I have to be the only one feeling uncomfortable?

  But it's as if fate is not on my side—or both on ours, if his discomfort is to go by—because Mr. Brown, our teacher, has the class pair up and answer essay questions on the current topic. Surprise, surprise—we're partnered with each other.

  Parker clears his throat. "If you want, we can divide the questions between the two of us and work on them separately. It will be easier that way."

  "Works for me," I say in a clipped tone, keeping my eyes on the printout containing the questions instead of meeting his gaze.

  I feel the heat of his stare on top of my head but choose to ignore it. But even though I try to focus on my part of the essay, I can't concentrate. I've always been painfully aware of our close proximity in this class, but it seems to have grown tenfold over the past few days. Especially after that kiss...

  The truth is, I can't stop thinking about him since then. I keep replaying our kiss over and over. It's as if that damn kiss awakened dormant feelings I didn't know I have.

  I don't like this new development one bit.

  "Once you're done with your answers, give them to me so I can combine them with mine." I still haven't looked up. Two can play the indifferent game.

  "Are you mad?"

  I stiffen, but my eyes remain downcast, refusing to meet his probing gaze.

  He couldn't just ask me that question after spending the last few days ignoring me, acting like we're not friends. It doesn't work that way.

  Why is he giving me the cold shoulder, anyway? I should have been the one to do it. I was supposed to be the one avoiding him—not the other way around.

  Well, who says I can't follow his lead?

  "I was an asshole."

  That has my eyes snapping up in the next second. I narrow them on him. "Is that your version of apology?"

  "No. This is." He sighs. "I'm sorry. I acted like an asshole after you kissed me."

  My eyes grow wide. "Excuse me? You're the one who kissed me!"

  Judging from the shocked glances and gasps that follow, I blurted it out loud.

  Freaking great. Just what I need right now.

  Cheeks burning, I glare at Parker. This is all your fault.

  How was it my fault? You were the one who practically announced it to the whole class, his face says amusedly as he leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest.

  Bastard.

  Thankfully, the bell finally rings, giving me a much-needed escape.

  Mr. Brown's loud reminder to submit the essay next meeting barely gets any attention as everyone files out of the room—but not without shooting smirks and glances my and Parker's way.

  From the corner of my eye, I notice Liam glaring in my direction, ignoring Peyton next to him.

  As much as I hate to admit it, Parker was right. All this unwanted attention is on me. I'd let my strong emotions get the better of me. Now, everyone is going to talk about that stupid kiss.

  If nothing else, it would take the heat off of his mom. At least, I hope.

  "Peaches," Parker starts.

  I shake my head. "Don't."

  Suddenly, the pet name that's grown on me sounds sour to my ears. Now is a bad time to call me that.

  I've seen the bright side about the whole world knowing about the kiss, but it doesn't mean I'm no longer upset. He's been a complete ass, and I'm not about to forget that anytime soon.

  Our eyes lock and hold. His are full of guilt and apology...and maybe something else, mine brimming with righteous anger.

  I'm still pissed at him. Very much so. But no matter what I feel in this moment, I can't deny that there's something between us. It makes no sense—we're two different people, sharing nothing in common—yet there it is.

  "Sawyer Agatha Dunn. Why are you holding out on me again?" comes the accusing voice behind me, effectively causing me to cut off my gaze from Parker's.

  Quinn. I completely forgot
she's in the same class as us. And she just called me by my full name, which tells me she heard my inadvertent announcement, too.

  Perfect. Just perfect.

  Forcing out a smile, I turn on my heels to face my best friend. "Hey."

  "Don't hey me," she huffs, folding her arms over her chest. "So, are the two of you a couple now?"

  Parker and I exchange glances—mine wide-eyed, his amused.

  Blushing once again, I quietly pull a protesting Quinn out of the class before she can say something that'll embarrass me further.

  Once we're out in the hall, Quinn continues with her barrage of questions. "He really kissed you? When did it happen? Is he your boyfriend now? Why do you keep on keeping secrets from me?"

  The last question is tinged with hurt and it makes me wince. Clearly, Parker hasn't been the only one acting like an ass. "I'm sorry."

  "Not good enough," she snaps.

  I blink. "It's not?"

  She nods firmly. "You need to tell me everything."

  I let out a sigh. "Of course."

  And so I do.

  CHAPTER 19

  Parker

  "Nah. Wonder Woman all the way. Have you seen Gal Gadot kick ass? Damn," Bennett whistles, his eyes glazing over.

  "She's perfect." Giovanni nods, taking a pull of his Coke. "Can't argue with that."

  "It's Black Widow for me," Jamie cuts in, leaning back on his seat.

  Bennett cocks up a brow. "You know she doesn't have any powers, right?"

  "And yet, she can hold her own in a fight just fine."

  Giovanni shrugs, as if to agree to his point.

  I tune their conversation out, not wanting to get roped into their female superhero-centered discussion, my eyes wandering across the cafeteria where Sawyer and her friends are seated.

  Her smile is fucking breathtaking as she listens to whatever Brayden Stevenson is saying.

  Not for the first time, regret and longing grip my chest. We haven't talked in days and now I'm having goddamn withdrawals.

  I'm only blaming myself for this. If I hadn't kissed her...

  Then you wouldn't have known that kissing her felt like the most natural thing in the world. How kissing her felt like experiencing sunshine for the first time after a long, harsh season of winter.