Almost Just Friends

by Jill Shalvis

  He looked at her, and she did her best to seem like something he couldn’t go without right this very second.

  He took a deep breath and started to speak, but with the feel of him so hard against her, she was done with the speaking portion of this event. Especially because he looked so turned on and stern at the same time. So she leaned in and kissed him again, very seriously.

  With a rough groan that spoke to all her good parts, he wrapped her up tight and kissed her back. At some point, he rose to his feet with her still in his arms. His big hands went to her ass to hold her against him as he walked, and she gave an involuntary squeak of terror as she remembered they were on the docks, surrounded by water.

  “Close your eyes,” he said.

  “You just told me to open them.”

  “And now I’m telling you to close them again.”

  He walked only a few yards, it seemed, before taking a big step onto something. Something that rocked.

  A boat.

  Oh good God. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest, and not with lust this time. “Cam—”

  “Keep ’em closed, Piper.”

  She heard a door open and then shut, and what she thought might be the click of a lock before she was finally settled on something soft. Before she could decide what, Cam’s big, warm body came down over her. Entangling his fingers with hers, he slowly drew her hands up to either side of her head.

  “Okay,” he said.

  Her eyes flew open to find his dark and heated on hers. “We’re on a boat,” she whispered.

  “Yes. Away from anyone’s view. Unless you’re changing your mind.”

  Not in this lifetime. “No.”

  He nodded, but still looked so . . . solemn. “I don’t have a condom.”

  She couldn’t remember ever feeling so disappointed about anything ever. “Why?”

  He almost smiled at that, she could tell. “Because I’m a very stupid, stupid man.”

  “So stupid.”

  That did get her a smile. “I realize you’ve got zero reason to trust me, but I’m disease free. Are you on the pill?”

  She gave him a bobblehead nod. “And I’ve been checked too.”

  She felt his thumb glide over her lower lip. “Tell me to stop,” he murmured huskily. “And I’ll stop.”

  “Just like that?”

  His fingers sank into her hair, his eyes softening. “Always just like that. I mean, there might be some grown-man crying, but this is your show, you’re in the driver’s seat here.”

  Since her body was already damp and trembling for him, stopping was the last thing she intended to do.

  “Piper?”

  “The only thing I want you to stop doing is talking so you can do stuff to me and make me forget that we’re on the water.”

  “Bossy. I like it.”

  “Then you’re going to love this. Lose the wet suit, Cam. Quickly.”

  He lifted up and did just that, leaving her speechless for a moment, because just like that first night in her house during the storm, he was commando.

  He, however, was not speechless. “Just so you know,” he said, his mouth making its merry way along her jaw to her ear, “you can be bossy in my bed anytime.”

  She nodded and started to answer, but he dipped his head and licked the hollow of her throat at the same time that he stroked his hands down her body and then back up again, this time beneath her shirt.

  And then the shirt was gone.

  Everywhere he touched, her skin came alive with fiery trails, and she shivered as he lingered as if wanting to remember every second of this.

  She most definitely would. She heard a soft, breathy moan and realized it was her, as her fingers curled into the muscles of his back. He shifted, angling their hips closer so she could rock up into him, and the friction . . . the delicious eroticism of it had her halfway to orgasm. His mouth claimed hers again, the kiss ratcheting up her body temperature, and when he pulled back, she nearly cried. “Don’t you dare ask me if I want to stop,” she gasped.

  He let out a rough laugh and nipped her earlobe as his hands worked to liberate her from her pants. They got caught on her steel-toed work boots, making him swear. She sat up to help, laughing at the sight of him sliding off the bed—and they were on a bed, on a boat, good God stop thinking about it—and onto his knees. Naked, he bent over her boots to work the hopelessly tangled laces. Swearing again, he finally just muscled the boots off, tossing them impatiently over his shoulder, where they hit the wall with twin thunks.

  She was grinning when he freed her pants from around her ankles and crawled back up her body.

  Seeing the man in clothes had been heart-stopping. The sight of him without was perfection.

  “I’m tired already,” he murmured, smiling into her laughing face. “You wore me out.”

  “Poor baby. Does that mean I get the top?”

  “Next time,” he said, and bent his head to her body, where he proceeded to rob her of the ability to speak more than words like “oh God” and “don’t stop” and “please, more” for a very long time.

  When she was boneless and still gasping for air, he entered her and revved her up all over again, their wild kisses moving in rhythm with their bodies.

  It was shatteringly intense, and this time they lost themselves together. When she could finally uncurl her toes, she blinked the real world back into focus. There, for a moment, she’d forgotten her own name, though she was pretty sure all the wildlife on the lake now knew his. “Wow.”

  At her side, Cam laughed roughly, sounding lighter than she’d ever heard him. “Yeah.” He pulled her into him and buried his face in her hair. “You just destroyed me. You know that, right? You own me now, Piper.”

  He was just teasing; she knew that. “We’re going to do that again, right?”

  “Oh, yeah.” He came up on an elbow and stroked a finger along her jaw and down her body, the calloused pad catching on a nipple, watching as it tightened for him.

  “Now?” she asked hopefully.

  “Now.” He rolled onto his back, pulling her on top to straddle him.

  She grinned down at him. “You remembered.”

  “I remember all my promises.”

  IT WAS FOUR in the morning when Piper snuck into the house. She blamed Cam for exhausting her so thoroughly that they’d fallen asleep. Luckily, the morning wasn’t particularly cold, so when she shivered, she knew it wasn’t a chill. It was the memories of one Camden Hayes, all hard muscle under firm skin, the feel of his mouth on hers, the taste of him, the sound of his deep, rough groan in her ear when she’d touched him.

  It was still dark, but she didn’t need to turn on any lights as she tiptoed up the stairs and down the hall, stopping short at the sound of someone throwing up.

  She pushed the bathroom door open and found Winnie on her knees, hugging the porcelain god and puking her guts up. Sweet Cheeks was winding her way around Winnie’s legs with worried little cat chirps.

  Piper nudged Sweet Cheeks aside. Then she pulled out her own hair tie and used it on Winnie’s hair to hold it back for her. Turning, she grabbed a towel, wet it in the sink, and set it against the damp, heated nape of Winnie’s neck.

  Winnie moaned, flushed, and lay her cheek on the side of the toilet seat, eyes closed, skin green and clammy.

  “Okay,” Piper said, dropping to her knees at her sister’s side. “This isn’t food poisoning. It’s time to get you to a doctor.”

  “You’re a doctor.”

  “I’m an EMT.”

  “But you’re going to be a physician assistant once you finish school.”

  “Which I haven’t even started yet,” Piper pointed out. “And why are we talking about that instead of you? Something’s clearly wrong, Win.”

  “Yeah.” Her sister closed her eyes. “But it’s not what you think.”

  Piper stared at her, and when her own stomach dropped to her toes, she leaned back on her heels. “Oh my God. You’re pregnant.” />
  “Yeah. But trust me, God had nothing to do with it.”

  Chapter 18

  “When I told you I caught the spider in your bathroom . . . I lied.”

  At Winnie’s shocking statement, Piper’s legs collapsed. Luckily, the wall kept her propped upright. Numb, she stared at her sister. “You’re really pregnant?”

  “According to the ten pregnancy tests I took in the Target bathroom.” Clearly feeling the opposite of numb, Winnie got to her feet and turned to the sink to rinse out her mouth.

  “When?” Piper asked from the floor. “How?”

  Winnie met her gaze in the mirror. “Well, when two people like each other, they—”

  “Oh my God. You think this is funny.”

  “No,” Winnie said. “I really don’t. But while I’m spilling my guts literally and figuratively, you should also know something else. I quit college.” She paused. “Last semester. Oh, and the other day when I told you I caught the spider in your bathroom . . . I lied. Whew.” She let out a long breath. “I hope you feel as good as I do now.”

  Piper wasn’t firing on all cylinders, so it took a moment to process. “You’d better not be serious about the spider.”

  “I am.”

  “This really isn’t funny.”

  “No shit.”

  Piper could do nothing but stare at her sister, her pregnant and college-quitting sister. They were still staring at each other when they heard the front door open and close.

  And then Gavin was coming up the stairs. He started down the hallway, but stopped short at the sight of them in the opened bathroom. His shirt was on inside out and his shoes dangled from his fingers. He was wearing a smile that Piper hadn’t seen in ages.

  “Now, see,” Winnie said, pointing at her brother. “That I find funny.”

  Gavin eyed them both. “You told her,” he said to Winnie, and Piper gaped at him.

  “You knew?” she breathed.

  “Well, yeah. She’s been eating like she’s growing an entire litter, and she’s actually been mostly cheerful. Hasn’t tried to kill me either.”

  “So you . . . just guessed?” Piper asked.

  “No, she told me.”

  “When?”

  Gavin looked at Winnie.

  Winnie grimaced. “From the beginning.”

  Piper stared at her in hurt disbelief.

  Winnie tossed up her hands. “I’m sorry! But I didn’t tell you sooner because I knew you’d freak out. And hey, Gavin’s sleeping with his ex! Why aren’t we all talking about that?”

  “You suck,” Gavin said.

  Piper held up a hand. She honest to God felt like she was thirteen and in over her head all over again. Or still. “You could’ve told me.”

  “Sure,” Winnie said. “But we all know how that conversation would’ve gone. And I get it, I’m the baby of the family. I’m the extra, the one who doesn’t have to grow up as fast, or try very hard.” Her smile was sad and regretful. “And that’s all me. Because what did I do when I found out I was pregnant? I came home with my tail between my legs.”

  “Oh, Winnie,” Piper said softly. “I—”

  Winnie shook her head and held up a hand. “I know that I barely remember Mom and Dad, that we had a whole life on the other side of the planet that I also can’t remember. But I know how much I owe you, Piper. How much trouble and angst I’ve caused over the years. So, yeah, I should’ve told you. You certainly deserved to know. But I guess I just wasn’t ready to hear the spiel. That I’m smart, but don’t apply myself enough. That I’ve got a whole bunch of potential, but never live up to it. That I need to focus on what’s important. But see, Piper, I do. I am. I’m very focused on what’s important to me. You just don’t always agree with me.”

  That this might be true shamed Piper. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I never meant to make you feel bad about your choices. I just didn’t want anything to hold you back, ever.”

  Winnie gave a crooked smile. “Have you met me?”

  Piper gave a soft laugh and so did Winnie.

  “So . . .” Piper paused. “What are your plans?”

  Winnie took a shaky breath. “I’m still absorbing all of this myself, and I know we need to talk about it, but I hope you can try to understand that I’m not quite ready to.” Never comfortable with deeply emotional moments, Winnie proved it by pointing at her big brother. “So CJ took you back, huh?”

  “Nice diversion,” Gavin said, but smiled. “And yeah. He took me back. For now anyway.”

  “I didn’t realize you two had even remained in touch,” Piper said carefully. Gavin had been the one to leave CJ, but that didn’t mean he’d gotten off pain-free. Because he hadn’t. And in fact, he still grieved over losing CJ, and she wasn’t sure he was strong enough to survive it again. “I’m not sure this is a good idea—”

  “Stop,” Gavin said gently. “You’ve spent enough of your life worrying about me. You don’t need to do that anymore. CJ and I both know what this is, and what it isn’t.”

  She hoped that was true, because she didn’t want to see either of them hurt. But then again, she and Cam also knew what they had and what they didn’t, and that wasn’t going to stop her from being hurt when it was over.

  “Seriously,” he said quietly, giving her a one-armed hug. “You’ve got other things to worry about.” He jerked his chin in Winnie’s direction.

  “Hey,” Winnie said. “I’m fine.”

  “Right. We’re all just fine.” Piper sighed. “Who’s the baby daddy?”

  Winnie’s smile faded. “That’s one of the things I don’t want to talk about right now.” Or ever, her expression said.

  Piper paused, surprised. “Why not?”

  “Because it doesn’t matter.”

  Piper was confused. “Of course it matters.”

  “It doesn’t,” Winnie insisted. “I’ve got this, Piper. I do. I mean, how hard can it be?”

  “To be a mom?” she asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah.”

  Piper didn’t want to scare her, but neither did she want her to look at this with rose-colored glasses, with absolutely zero idea how hard parenting could be.

  Winnie was watching her and shook her head. “Don’t discount me, not on this.”

  “I’m not trying to, Win. I’m trying to be supportive.” While not freaking out completely. Because she’d already raised two chicklets. She was in the home stretch of being free. Or at least, she had been. “What about college? You’ll need a degree if you’re going to raise a kid. You could get another semester under your belt before you give birth.”

  Winnie shrugged. “Maybe I’ll do it online, but I like fixing things. I want to do that instead.”

  “You’re getting good at it too,” Gavin said.

  Winnie beamed at him.

  “We’re selling this place,” Piper burst out.

  Her sister gasped. “What?”

  “Why?” Gavin asked.

  “Think about it,” Piper said. “We’d each get a third of the money. Winnie, you’d be able to pay off some of the college debt and have a nice nest egg for your baby. And, Gavin, you’d have financial security.” She paused, expecting excitement.

  “But I want to raise my baby here,” Winnie said. “Be a family. Like we were.”

  Gavin looked like he agreed with that.

  Okay, so no excitement. What was happening?

  Gavin drew a deep breath. “God knows, you deserve to get something out of all the work you put into this place. But if you’re doing this for me, don’t. The last thing an addict needs is financial security and discretionary money burning a hole in his pocket.”

  “Okay.” Don’t panic. “So what do you need?”

  “Honestly? To be right here in this house with both you crazy people.”

  Wow. This was not how Piper had seen this going. At all. “So we’re, what, going to live together, until we’re old and gray?”

  Gavin and Winnie looked at each other and then a
t Piper. “Yes,” they said in unison.

  Winnie put her hands on her still-flat belly. “I need this, Piper,” she whispered.

  Gavin nodded, and at the touch of fear in his gaze, Piper softened. Ached. “But—”

  “We’re a unit,” he said. “The three of us. We’re all we have left because our parents are gone. And I get it, that very fact forced you to become the Fixer, and don’t get me wrong, you’ve always done the right thing by us. You put your life on hold to make sure we grew up okay, but you’ve never liked it. Even now I can see you panicking on the inside, scrambling to figure out how to get us gone again.” He hesitated, and when he spoke, his voice was unusually solemn. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to be a burden to someone you love?”

  God. He was right. As awful as it was, there’d been times when she’d felt overwhelmed and out of control, and had looked at them as a burden, and that was all on her. She wanted to reach out, hug him, say something to ease the pain in his eyes, anything, but they’d never been a huggy sort of family. And now she knew that it was her fault they weren’t.

  “You were my mom, my dad, my friend, and oftentimes also my enforcer,” Gavin said. “But you’ve never been my sister. You’ve never let me be your brother. You’ve never let me be there for you, Piper, not once. You need to stop protecting me. I’m grown, I’m good, and that’s all thanks to you. But I want to be siblings. I want to be equals. I want to be the one to help you for a change.”

  “I don’t need help.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. You’re an island and an army of one, believe me, I get it. But do you realize we’ve never even grieved together for all we’ve lost?”

  Her biggest fear. If she let out the grief, it’d consume her. So she shook her head, her mind dark with memories. “I can’t.”

  “I know,” Gavin said. “Because you never could. Not even when I needed you to.”

  She opened her mouth, to say what, she had no idea, but Winnie started shoving them out the bathroom door, face green. “Oh God, hurry. Get out. Get out, get out! Save yourselves!” she yelled, and slammed the door on their noses to throw up again.

  Chapter 19

  “You mean other than your sweet, sunny nature?”