Letting You Go

by Jordan Marie

  “Where’s your truck, Gavin?”

  “I parked it in the clearing beyond these trees,” he says, his voice sounding lifeless as he looks over the water.

  “You need to go to the hospital,” I tell him. “Let’s go and I’ll drive you.”

  “I’m not going to the hospital.”

  “You need someone to look at your injuries.”

  “I’ve had enough of adults, Moonbeam.”

  “Your dad’s not an adult. He’s scum,” I growl.

  “Yeah, on that we can agree.”

  “Give me your keys. I’ll take us to Jules’—”

  “I don’t want anyone to see me like this, Luna. Not tonight at least. Besides,” he adds giving me a sad attempt of a smile. “I don’t think my body could take you driving my stick shift.”

  I know he’s trying to be funny, but seeing him standing in front of me in so much pain, I’m not finding anything amusing about it at all.

  “Hand me your keys, Baby,” I murmur to him. “I’ll go get a blanket.”

  “Luna—”

  “I’m cold, Gavin.”

  He uses his good hand—at least it’s in better shape than the other one—and reaches in his pocket to get his keys. He hands them to me, and I go up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

  “You’ve never called me baby before,” he says. “I like it.”

  “I love you, Gavin,” I whisper, needing him to know that. “I’ll be right back.”

  I run to his truck and find two old blankets and a pillow that we keep thrown in the back. When you have to hide to see one another, you get pretty creative and pillows and blankets become a must. Once I have them, I head back to the dock. I take the thickest blanket—which really isn’t great, they’re both pretty ratty—and spread it out on the dock and then place the pillow down on it.

  “Let’s get you lying down,” I tell him, and he looks at me.

  “Moonbeam, I’m not sure I can and if I do get down, I’m not positive I can get up.”

  Anguish fills me. I think I could kill Gavin’s father right now. I know realistically I wouldn’t be able to, but I think I could at least make it hurt.

  “You should have called me, Gavin. I would have come to you.”

  “You were with your father. That would have been rich, right? The secret boyfriend calling for help because his drunk father waylaid him with a shovel.”

  “He did this with a shovel?” I growl.

  “I wasn’t conscious through most of it, but when I woke up there was a shovel on the ground beside me, so…” he shrugs. “Luna, just let it go. Your parents will be wondering where you are and—”

  “My parents can go to hell,” I mutter as I help take his weight and we hobble over to the blanket.

  It takes some work, but we finally get him sitting. He cried out in pain a couple of times and each noise broke my heart. There are tears falling down my cheeks and my hands are shaking, but I’m doing the best I can to hold myself together. I help him out of his tennis shoes and carefully remove his jacket, followed by his shirt.

  When I see the dark colored skin that has already set in bruising, I lose it. I know that it will only get worse and tears run down my face unchecked.

  “I hate him,” I murmur, kissing the worst spots as lightly as I can.

  “Join the crowd,” Gavin hisses as I kiss the largest bruise which is on his chest and moves along his collar bone.

  “I need a first aid kit.”

  “I don’t think that will help, Luna,” Gavin says with a dry laugh that immediately causes him more pain.

  “Do you think anything is broken?”

  “Maybe a rib, but no. My hand is sprained pretty bad, but I’ll be okay.”

  “We need to—”

  “I’ll be okay, Moonbeam. This isn’t the first time, it’s just the first time in a while.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I let my guard down. I was distracted. If I’d been watching, he never would have got me.”

  “You were distracted because of me.”

  “Luna, it doesn’t matter. I was just—”

  “Thinking about our fight,” I finish for him.

  Gavin’s good hand comes up and he moves a finger across my lip.

  “Let it go, Luna. My father is a bastard. This is not your fault and I don’t want you blaming yourself. Dry up your tears, please,” he adds, wiping a couple away. “He doesn’t deserve them.”

  “I love you, Gavin.”

  “I love you. I always will,” he says, and I can feel the truth in those words all the way to my soul.

  CHAPTER FORTY TWO

  GAVIN

  “I thought you left,” I whisper, my voice sounding like someone else.

  “You thought wrong. I did borrow your truck though.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “First to Jules’ house because I have some stuff and money there. Then, I went and picked you up some things.”

  “Moonbeam, I hurt too fucking much to eat.”

  “I get that, Baby. I do. But I got some pain pills and if you’re going to take one of those, you have to eat a little something.”

  “Tylenol won’t hurt on an empty—”

  “It’s not Tylenol. I got you the good stuff from when I had my wisdom teeth out.”

  “You—”

  “I had a few left and I keep them at Jules’ for when I’m there and my monthly crap gets really bad.”

  “You have that much trouble? I’ve never noticed.”

  “I keep that hidden from you, Gav. I don’t want you to see me like that.”

  “Don’t do that anymore,” I mutter, taking the water she hands me and downing a couple of the pills.

  “Do what?”

  “Hide things from me. If you’re hurting, I want to know. I want to help.”

  “There’s not much you can do in that case, Gavin.”

  “Maybe not, but I can try. I can be there,” I add, then stop because I start coughing and son of a bitch if that doesn’t hurt like hell.

  “Stop growling at me, it’s causing you pain.”

  I want to argue with her, but I can’t. “You should probably head back home. Your parents will send out a search party for you soon.”

  “My parents can go to hell.”

  “Luna, you don’t mean that.”

  “I do,” she insists and then she starts cleaning the cut near my mouth with some alcohol. I hiss from the burn of pain. “Sorry, Baby,” she murmurs, blowing on the wound. Even in pain, it feels nice. I can’t remember anyone ever giving a damn about me. This with Luna… it’s good.

  Really good.

  “Three babies in one night, I’ve hit the motherlode,” I joke.

  Her face looks confused for a minute, but then she understands and shakes her head at me.

  “You’re crazy. Anyway, I’m done listening to my parents. They’ve been lying to me for months. All this crap about wanting someone good for me, someone that will treat me good and not even giving you a chance.”

  “Luna—”

  “And it was all lies. Especially from my father. How can he preach about me finding a good man to treat me like I deserve when he’s cheating on my mom and practically living with another woman?”

  “Fuck. That’s rough.”

  “That’s one word for it.”

  “Your mom must be a mess.”

  “Yeah, she is, but she lied to me. She should have told me the truth.”

  “She’s probably going through hell right now, Moonbeam. I’d say she was just trying to shield you for as long as she could.”

  “Maybe, but that doesn’t make it any better.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Anyway, I called her from Jules’ and told her I need a break. They won’t be sending any search parties out tonight.”

  “That’s good. I’d rather not deal with your dad tonight.”

  “You and me both, but he’s not an issue since he left for the Hamptons an
d back to his mistress.”

  “Fuck, Luna—”

  “It’s okay, Gavin. I’m okay. It’s just what I needed to make me realize something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you’re my home. We’ll leave after graduation and we’ll start our own place in the world.”

  “You mean that,” I whisper, suddenly feeling better than I have in years, despite the pain.

  “I’m completely serious.”

  “God, I love you,” I tell her, leaning down to kiss her, and I press our lips hard together, despite the pain, thrusting my tongue in her mouth and kissing her with all of the hunger I have for her.

  When we break apart, I rest my forehead against her as my heart rate slowly comes down to normal.

  “I love you. I do have a small favor to ask you, however.”

  “Anything,” I promise.

  “You don’t even know what I’m going to ask,” she laughs.

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ll find a way to give you the world if you wanted it.”

  “Silly. All I want is you, Gavin Lodge.”

  “You have me, Moonbeam. You always will.”

  “I’m counting on that,” she murmurs softly, our gazes locked on one another, and I can see the love radiating on her face.

  Love for me.

  “What was your favor?” I ask.

  “Can we go back to Jules and spend the weekend there? She’s kind of freaked out, even though she won’t admit it.”

  “Why? What’s happened?”

  “There was another murder. This time in Russell.”

  “Shit.”

  “Same scenario. Found the girl naked, her hands were bound this time and apparently, it’s not a black rose they found like Jules has been getting, but a blood rose, which is even creepier. It’s a white rose with splashes of red that look like blood.”

  “Well, that’s good for Jules though, right?”

  “I guess. But she got a note today and she hadn’t read it until she got home. She thought it was just another annoying note the guy has been putting in her locker. Instead, it told her to watch the news.”

  “And?”

  “She did. That’s how she found out about the second murder.”

  “Fuck. Did she call the cops?”

  “She did, but they told her it was probably just a prank. They did promise to do some patrols in her neighborhood and asked to talk to her parents, but of course…”

  “Her parents are gone for the weekend.”

  “Let’s load up.”

  “Are you up to it?”

  “Yeah, you’ll probably have to drive, but I’ll survive.”

  “We don’t have to, Gavin.”

  “We do, Moonbeam. Your girl needs people around her and besides, if there is some freak on the loose just the next town over, the last thing I want is for you to be out in the open all night.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Yeah, just one thing.”

  “What’s that?” she asks.

  “Help me up.” I sigh, feeling weak as water and hating that I need help to do anything.

  “You got it, Baby,” she says with a grin, pressing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

  Maybe needing help isn’t such a bad thing….

  CHAPTER FORTY THREE

  LUNA

  “It’s about time you got home,” Dad growls as soon as I walk through the door.

  “I spent the night at Jules’ house,” I tell him, barely bothering to look up. If he thinks I care what he has to say at this point, he’s crazy. “Besides, I thought you left us again… on business—right?”

  “That’s it, Luna. You’re grounded. There will be no going to Jules’ house. There will be nothing but school and home for you, young lady.”

  “Are you seriously starting this shit on me?”

  “Since when is it okay for you to curse, Luna Ann Marshall?”

  “Oh, I don’t know since you failed to recognize that I’ll be eighteen in a couple of weeks?”

  “You still live under my roof!”

  “No, I don’t. You have a new family now, Dad. Remember?”

  “Quit being sarcastic, Luna. It doesn’t become you.”

  I look at the man I used to love with everything inside of me. The man I still love, but also hate a little. I look at the man that I used to think hung the moon. He doesn’t look like my superhero now. He doesn’t even look like my dad. If he wasn’t trying to ground me and be a complete asshole, I’d almost feel sorry for him. Then, I look over at my mother and see how her eyes are swollen, take in the fact that she’s been crying. While I’m looking at her, I notice for the first time that she’s lost a lot of weight. She’s been living in hell and I didn’t even know. Any sympathy I had for my father dissipates.

  “Quit trying to be a father, that doesn’t become you either.”

  “I am your father, Luna.”

  “Your new woman, does she have kids, Dad?”

  I hear Mom’s gasp and I hate that I’m causing her pain. I’m not happy with her right now, but it’s clear she’s hurting too. I wish she had told me. All this time that she’s been crying, she could have told me. Instead, she let me be blindsided.

  “Does she?” I persist.

  I watch as he rubs the back of his neck in irritation and his face looks bleak.

  “She does. A girl about your age. I’d like for you guys to meet soon.”

  “Do they know about me? Dad? Do they know about my Mom?”

  “Luna?”

  “Did they? When you were cheating with this woman, did she know about us? Did she have any idea what she was tearing apart? Did she know who she was hurting?”

  “Luna—”

  “Answer me!” I scream, pain lancing through me, because I know the answer.

  “She knew your mother and I were separated,” he finally says.

  “But…you weren’t—not really. Your clothes were still hanging in the closet. You still came home on the weekends. You still pretended everything was fine. So, you lied to her too. You’ve lied to everyone.” I shake my head as all the hurt and lies swirl around in my head enough to make me dizzy.

  “I’m not getting into this with you right now, Luna. You’ll find out when you become an adult that things aren’t always so black and white.”

  “I think I’m more of an adult than you are. I’m adult enough to know that when you love someone you try to help them and protect them, not hurt them.”

  “Don’t think I don’t know what this is about, Luna.”

  “What’s it about, Dad?”

  “Your little infatuation with that Lodge boy.”

  “It’s not an infatuation, I love him, Dad. And I doubt anyone in the history of ever has referred to Gavin as a boy.”

  “You’re too young to know what love is. I refuse to let you ruin your life over some kid who will never amount to a damn thing.”

  “You don’t know anything about Gavin. You didn’t even give him a chance!”

  “I know that he’ll probably end up just like his father, the town drunk and without a dime to his name. I’m not about to let you throw your life away on someone like him.”

  “Gavin’s nothing like his dad!”

  His words are as harsh as the expression on his grim face. “Not yet. Give him time.”

  “He loves me. He’d never hurt me. He works almost thirty hours a week and still goes to school. He’s nothing like his father.”

  “I’m not arguing with you about this, Luna. You’re not seeing that Lodge boy. That’s final. And until you learn to be civil to me, you’re grounded.”

  “No, she’s not,” Mom says.

  “I’ve had enough of your mouth—” Dad stops talking once he finally hears what Mom said. He jerks his head around to look at her. “What are you talking about, Lydia?”

  “Luna’s not grounded. She’s under my roof now, not yours. She called me to tell me she was going to Jules. She didn’t hide it, and I trus
t my daughter. She’s not grounded.”

  “It’s going to be like that,” Dad says, narrowing his eyes at Mom, clearly not happy.

  Her shoulders straighten. “Exactly like that, Arthur.”

  “Good luck keeping the roof over your head, then. If you want to play hardball, Lydia, then I can too.”

  “Oh, I’ll keep the roof over my head, Arthur. It will be fairly easy.”

  “I doubt that. You’ve not bothered to even try and hold a job down in years.”

  “I won’t now either. You’ll make sure everything is paid.”

  “You’re dreaming. I’ll help with Luna, but she’ll be eighteen and—”

  “It’s called alimony, Arthur and you’re loaded, while I’ve been the naïve, doting wife who dropped out and worked to send you through school to achieve your dream, had your child, and later did everything for you, right down to drawing your bathwater and laying your clothes out for the next day.”

  Dad doesn’t respond. His face goes hard and that’s when I see the real man clearly. Not a hero… just a man and someone I’m not sure I ever really knew. My idea of him was a fantasy.

  “I’m going to go upstairs. I have a final to study for,” I murmur, walking away. The oxygen is way too thick in the room and suddenly I need air desperately.

  “You’re still not to see that Lodge boy, Luna,” Dad warns me. I stop at the bottom of the stairs and look back at him, about to tell him that it’s not up to him when Mom responds.

  “He’s right on this, Luna.”

  “Mom—”

  “You don’t need to throw your life away on a boy—any boy. You need to go to school and get an education.”

  “I can still have that—”

  “Go to school. Get a career you can be proud of, stand on your own two feet, Luna.”

  I want to argue more, but I see from the way she is looking at me, she’s too lost in her own hurt to listen. She’s also close to breaking. I need to pick my battles and right now, there’s no way I can win this one. Eventually, I’ll make Mom understand that Gavin is not like Dad. Gavin would never lie, and he wouldn’t hurt me. Today is clearly not the day to prove that. Gavin won’t like that we’re still hiding, but he’ll be okay with it. We’ll be leaving Stone Lake behind soon and starting our lives together.