Letting You Go

by Jordan Marie

  That’s all that matters.

  CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

  ATTICUS

  “A re you fucking my brother?”

  Jules eyes go wide at my question as she leans against the door.

  “Attie, I don’t have time for your bullshit tonight. I’ve got too much on my plate.”

  “Answer me, Jules. I’m not playing with you.”

  “But, Attie, I like it when you play with me,” she replies coyly. She takes a step into my body and drags a fingernail down the side of my face. She thinks it’s cute. I find it annoying as hell. Though if she wants to play, I can play. I grab her hair and yank it so hard she cries out. I twist it and use the hold to pull her face close. My other hand wraps around her throat. I can feel the muscles move under my palm as she swallows. I can almost smell her fear, and I get hard from that alone. Of all of the bitches I’ve been dealing with lately, Jules gets me going like none of the others.

  “I’m going to ask you one more time and you’re going to answer me, Jules. Do you understand me?”

  “Damn it, Attie!”

  I growl, moving my hand up and slapping it hard against her mouth. Her voice is annoying the shit out of me right now. Actually, Jules herself is bothering me. I swear I can smell my brother on her.

  Her eyes go round, the pupils dilating. I feel her breath release in harsh puffs against my hand and she tries to nod her head yes. I know that causes her pain because of the way I’m holding her. The realization makes me smile.

  “I’m not playing games with you, Jules. I’m not some dog you can play with and then kick for the hell of it, either. Are we clear?”

  She nods her head again, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

  “Good. Now that we have that straight. Be a good girl and answer my question. Are you fucking my brother?”

  I pronounce each word of my question separately, taking a breath in between each one to help control my anger. I can accept her fucking Darren Oakes. I couldn’t give two shits about that. I will not take her fucking Gavin. It’s bad enough that Luna is all wound up around the bastard. She’ll soon see how stupid she’s been, but I will not let this little cock tease throw me aside for my brother. I take my hand away from her mouth and wait for her to answer me.

  “I’m not,” she says her voice hoarse and shaking a little.

  She’s afraid.

  Good. She should be.

  “What was he doing here?” I question further, refusing to let her go.

  “Luna was here.”

  “You’ve been helping them see each other,” I surmise, letting her go.

  She stumbles as she steps away from me.

  “Yeah,” she says, rubbing her mouth. Jules watches me closely and she’s dripping in fear now. It’s good she knows she can’t play with me.

  “I don’t like that.”

  “I don’t like you hitting me.”

  “Liar.”

  “I’m serious, Attie. That’s not cool,” she says, starting to get a little braver, but she is still talking quietly, as if she’s afraid to set me off.

  She should be afraid.

  “We both know you love it when I’m rough with you, Jules.” I smirk.

  “Not like that, and not right now,” she denies.

  “What’s different about right now? Is your new boy toy here?”

  “No. I… Attie I think that Blood Rose Killer is the one sending me notes.”

  “The ones you’ve been talking about? He hasn’t threatened you in them, though.”

  “No, but this last one told me to watch the news and there was another murder on it… I’m scared, Attie.”

  “Did you tell your parents?”

  “Yeah, but they won’t listen. They don’t give a damn. Their weekends are all about going to their damn swinging parties. They don’t give a fuck about me,” she says, looking wounded. Like a little bird with clipped wings.

  I don’t think it’s my imagination that I see pain on her face. It’s a pain I’m familiar with, because I know what it means when your parents don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Maybe that’s why I connect with Jules so much—well that and she’s as twisted up inside as I am.

  “You’re probably overreacting, Jules. He hasn’t been sending notes to the other girls. Right? They’ve not mentioned anything about that on the news. It’s just someone fucking with you.”

  “Then, how did they know to tell me to watch the news, Einstein?”

  “Maybe they didn’t? Have you seen the shit on the news? Odds are if it hadn’t been the murder something else would have caught your eye on the news. Maybe there was a story about a guy putting flowers in the lockers of the prettiest girls in the local schools.”

  “There wasn’t,” she says with a resigned sigh. Then she gives me a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You think I’m pretty?”

  “I wouldn’t let you have my dick if I didn’t.”

  “That’s so sweet, Attie,” she teases, rolling her eyes.

  “That’s me… sweet.”

  “No, it’s not. You’re a jerk. My mouth hurts, you asshole,” she grumbles, moving a finger over her bottom lip.

  “Let me inside, and I’ll give you something to make your mouth feel better,” I promise, with a smile.

  “I’m not in the mood to sleep with you, Attie,” she tells me coolly.

  “That’s good, we’re not going to sleep.”

  “Idiot.”

  “I can leave and find someone else who is not nearly as good at sucking me off as you.”

  “Gee, again with the sweet talk.”

  “But that would leave you alone with some serial killer out there… or I could come in…”

  “Fine, dick-wad, come inside, but no more hitting. I might like it a little rough but hitting is not my thing.”

  “Fine, no hitting. You just like choking…”

  “You really are an asshole,” she mutters as I go inside.

  She closes the door behind me and starts to walk away. I grab her hand and stop her from leaving. She looks at me in surprise. I capture her gaze and pointedly look at the door, before turning the lever on the deadbolt and locking the door.

  “Wouldn’t want anyone to hurt you,” I tell her, and her face softens.

  “Let’s go upstairs, Attie,” she says, tugging on my hand. I let her take the lead.

  Besides… I like watching her ass…

  CHAPTER FORTY FIVE

  GAVIN

  “Do you like it?” I ask Luna when she does nothing more than stare at the box.

  Until Luna, I’ve never had a girl in my life that I wanted to get a gift for, so I have no idea if I did this right. I mean, she seemed to like the locket I got her for Christmas. Maybe I should have gotten her jewelry again. I thought she would like this, but what if I’m wrong?

  “It’s a photo album…”

  “Yeah,” I mumble, thinking now that I hear it out loud it does sound pretty lame. Doesn’t make it better that she keeps staring at it.

  “And cameras.”

  “Disposable ones… each one takes like thirty pictures, though. So, that’s like a hundred and fifty pictures…”

  “I—”

  “I should have bought you a real camera. I was trying to save money for when we leave Stone Lake, but I mean it’s your birthday and I suck. Shit, Luna, I’m sorry,” I apologize, embarrassment coloring me. Hell, I can even feel heat travel up my face.

  “Gavin—”

  “I just thought we could take pictures of our life together. Something to record every moment of the life we build. I never really had pictures. I can barely remember what my mom looked like before she left us. I always thought that if I managed to build a life that I was proud of, I’d want to make sure I had the memory of it around me.”

  “Gavin—”

  “It’s stupid, I guess. But, you’re a girl, so I figured you’d enjoy that too. Christ. Let’s just forget it. How about I take you out tonight t
o Romano’s for spaghetti. It’s a ritzy place. You can get all dressed up. Heck, wear your prom dress early. We can—”

  “Gavin! Stop interrupting me,” Luna yells and I jerk my face down to look at her.

  “I love the photo album and the cameras.”

  “Come on, Luna, you don’t have to lie. Girls don’t stare at something for an hour if they like it.”

  “I didn’t stare for an hour. And, I just… Seeing the gift made me realize something.”

  “What?”

  “We’ll be leaving Stone Lake in a little over a month.”

  “Fuck yeah we will. I can’t wait.”

  “You won’t miss it? Not even a little?”

  “There’s nothing here that means anything to me, Luna. Nothing but you and you’ll be with me.” She smiles and leans up to kiss me and I meet her, taking a deeper taste of her mouth. When we break apart, I study her face. I ignore my nervousness as a thought hits me. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

  “No. Not about being with you, Gavin. I just… I’m worried about my mom.”

  “She’ll be okay, Luna. And we can still come back and see her. I promise.”

  “I know. She seems so sad all the time.”

  “I know, Babe, but she’ll get back on her feet again. This is her life and she’s got to live it—just like you need to live yours.”

  “You’re right. I know you are, I’m just worried.”

  “What if we wait until June to head out? That way you’re here for your mom when the divorce becomes final.”

  “You’d be willing to do that?”

  “I don’t like it, but it’s only a couple weeks. If it will make you feel better, then, I’m fine with it.”

  “I still can’t believe that they’ll be divorced so quickly.”

  “Well, it helped that your dad agreed to your mom’s terms, you know? Like, once he agreed to sign the paper her attorney drew up, it was pretty much over then.”

  “I guess, it just seems like a marriage that lasted twenty-five years should be harder to undo…”

  “I’m sorry, Moonbeam.”

  “Me too. I can’t imagine what Mom is feeling.”

  “You’ll never have to know.”

  “Gavin,” she whispers, looking at me.

  “I promise you, Luna. I’ll never cheat on you; never hurt you like that. I know you love your dad, but that was a fucking horrible thing to do to your mom. No one ever deserves to be hurt like that,” I tell her.

  I take her into my arms, pulling her backwards so we’re lying on the dock, looking up at the sky.

  “I’m scared, Gavin.”

  “Why, Moonbeam?”

  “Everything is changing so fast… Everything I’ve ever known is wrong.”

  “We’re not wrong.”

  “My parents loved each other once. Now they hate each other.”

  “That will never happen to us, Luna.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I just know. I know when I look in your eyes.”

  “How?”

  “It sounds like a line, but it’s not.”

  “What does?”

  “When I look in your eyes, Luna… I just know that everything I am ever going to want in life is staring back at me.”

  “If it is a line, it’s a really good one,” she murmurs.

  “It’s the God’s honest truth, Moonbeam,” I swear.

  “Gavin, shut up and kiss me.”

  I take the camera from her hand and hold it up in front of us. I have no idea if we’ll even be in the frame, but I snap it as I kiss her.

  It seems like a great picture to begin our story with….

  CHAPTER FORTY SIX

  GAVIN

  “Don’t stop, Gavin,” Luna moans in my ear.

  I’m fast approaching the point where I can’t hold back. Luna and I have experimented some, but she wasn’t ready for sex and I’ve never pushed her. It’s been hard not to go all the way, but we’ve talked about it and Luna just hasn’t been ready to take that step. I’m not about to push her, because Luna is more than sex. I told her we had the rest of our lives together, that we didn’t need to push things, and I was completely serious.

  That doesn’t mean my balls don’t hate me.

  They seem to be living in a constant state of blue.

  It also doesn’t mean nights like tonight aren’t hard. I’m dying to have her—so hungry that my body feels like it is being tortured. Hearing her plead for more serves in making it worse. Luna is innocent. She has no idea what she does to me beyond the obvious signs.

  A hoarse growl escapes as her hand wraps around my hard cock.

  “Luna, you’re playing with fire,” I warn her, my fingers sliding against her heated flesh. She’s so wet that it would be easy to push inside of her. I shake with the need to do that, but instead I settle for moving the pads of my fingers around the swollen nub that’s pulsing in hunger.

  This is as far as we’ve gone. Always before she’s pulled back, stopped us before we crossed that line that would be impossible to come back from.

  “I don’t care, Gavin. I don’t want to wait. I’m tired of waiting. I want to belong to you.”

  “Luna,” I moan, my control so close to snapping as her hand slides up and down my shaft, stroking me. Her hand is heaven, but what would it be like to be inside her hot, wet, tight pussy?

  What would it be like to take her virginity and make her come all over my cock?

  The mere thought makes my body shake with need.

  “I want you to take me, Gavin. I don’t want to wait anymore. We’re going away together. You said we belong to each other. There’s no point in waiting anymore. I need you.”

  Damn it.

  It’d be so easy to give in. To give her—to give both of us—what we want.

  “Luna,” I whisper into her ear. “Give me your mouth.”

  She doesn’t even question. Suddenly her lips are on mine. Her tongue searches mine, hungrily and unpracticed, completely lost to passion and I’m there with her. Our tongues mate, and I kiss her with all the love I have inside of me—it all belongs to her anyway. Her shirt is gone, lying on the floor with her pants. That leaves her bra on, and my hand down inside of her panties. Luna has been shy, afraid to be naked in front of me. She’s never let anyone see her in the nude before, and I like that. I like that I am the first man she’s loved. I like that I will be her first lover, her first orgasm, all of it. I hate that we keep her underwear on when we make out, but I know eventually they will come off. I’ve already had her bra off, but only in the dark and even then, she blushed so deeply that I think she was glowing in the darkness.

  I haven’t minded any of it, even though Luna is scared I have. She feels pressure because all of her friends are having sex. The thing is, Luna makes me feel like no one ever has. Things with her are special. Hell, at this point I can’t imagine being with anyone but her. I never want to make love with anyone else.

  Just Luna.

  Always Luna.

  That doesn’t mean I don't despise her panties. I hate them and one day very soon—when we’re sleeping together every night—I will forbid her to come to bed with clothes on. If she tries, I’ll rip them off of her. I live for that day.

  But now is now.

  And we’ve always made sure her panties stayed on—a thin barrier that managed somehow to keep me sane and from taking her even when my body was screaming for me to do so. I want to rip them off now, but I still find myself holding back, despite her plea.

  Hell, maybe after a year and a half of just doing this with Luna, I’m the one scared to push for more, afraid she’ll run away.

  So, instead, my hand is busy at work inside of her panties. I slide my fingers, which are covered in her arousal, back and forth over her clit. It’s not enough for Luna, and I know that when she thrusts up against my hand, trying to grind. One of her legs wraps around one of mine and she tries to pull my body against hers—does her
best to get us closer.

  “Gavin, stop torturing me,” she whimpers, her hand stroking me harder.

  Pre-cum runs down my shaft, over her hand, making my cock slick. She’s jacking me so tightly, her hand clenching as she gets closer to the edge. I let out a ragged breath that ends in a hiss as I feel my balls tighten.

  I’m going to come. I can’t hold back.

  I break away from her mouth and use my nose and teeth to nudge her bra out of the way, all the while torturing her clit with my fingers. I want to fuck her with my fingers, but I won’t even allow myself that. When I claim her virginity, I want to do it with my cock, not my hand. I have no idea if that is possible, but I’ve heard guys say it is and I don’t want to risk it. Fuck, the truth is I’m not much more experienced than Luna—mostly because from the moment I first saw her, no other girl would do.

  It’s always been her.

  “I’m going to come, Moonbeam,” I whisper in her ear, my voice coarse, threaded with hunger and almost unrecognizable.

  “No,” she whimpers, as I pick up my speed and the intensity on the way I’m working her clit.

  She’s so wet now that she has my hand drenched. Her body is thrusting against me, making movements that I doubt she understands, but even in my limited experience, I know. She needs more than I’m giving her. We’ll have to talk about it, but I need her to make the decision when she’s not on the verge of coming, when she’s not hungry and needy.

  “Come for me, Luna. Give in and let me make it all better,” I croon, before dropping my head back down to her breast.

  I lick around the nipple, and as her body jerks underneath me I suck the tender bud into my mouth, thrusting it against the top of my mouth and torturing it. My free hand teases the other breast, working her up to the point that I know she’ll explode.