Three Times Torn

by Felisha Antonette

  Orange-brown eyes stare me down as he awaits my okay. Unable to fight my smile, I nod. “Yes, Nathan.” He pecks my lips. “Now, you explain that episode you just had.”

  He nods. “Let’s write it off to me expressing a little emotion and you being upset, snatching away from me and shit.”

  “I made you upset. But maybe if you could’ve just answered me when I asked, I wouldn’t have needed to get upset.”

  “This is the only thing bothering you? You got that upset only because I wouldn’t answer your question?”

  “No.” I lean back against him. “I was already upset, but your I just don’t want to explain things to you is what set me off. That was disrespectful and rude.”

  “I’m sorry,” he wheedles seductively, dripping kisses down my neck and shoulder.

  “No, Nate,” I sing jokingly. “Don’t try to be nice now, Mr. Hyde.”

  “Come on, Sparky, stop.” He continues to speak in this warm stringing tone. “You want to talk to me, or do you want me to kiss you outside in front of all these people until you forget what you wanted to talk about?”

  I smile to myself, letting my anger go. “Don’t do that. I do want to talk to you, not forgetting what you have said to me.”

  “I’m a dick, Sparks. We know that. But it’s not often on purpose. For the hundredth time, this is all still new to me. I’m working through this relationship shit and trying to overcome the bond too. When I’m acting the way you want me to, I get those actions from your feelings and your wants. That’s not the normal me, I care an ass load about you, yeah. More than I care about myself. But on the regular, you know I wouldn’t display my feelings. But I know it’s what you want; visual compassion, intimacy, and affection. The verbal express of I love you and the feeling of me kissing your soul. Excuse me for letting my true colors show,” he states sarcastically. “And since I’m being honest. . .”

  I turn a quarter of the way to him. “Continue.”

  “I snuck into your house and threw out that necklace your parents bought you.”

  “Nathan! You cannot be serious!”

  He shrugs, not caring. “But . . . I replaced it.” He lifts slightly, reaching into his back pocket and pulls out two boxes. “It’s not the same. As you know, there’s no replacement for pearl unless it wasn’t real. I’d put you in nothing fake. But here.” He hands me the bigger box.

  I open it and gaze down at a necklace that looks like the one my parents had got me, save the pearls. In their places are round diamonds the sizes of the pearls. “You really couldn’t stand me with pearls around my neck, huh?”

  “No. I was intimidated,” he chaffs.

  “Uh huh. Thank you for replacing it. These are some pretty big diamonds.”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t wear that everywhere.”

  “Thank you, babe. Though you did throw out my necklace, thanks for at least replacing it. What’s in the other box?”

  He smiles. “You’re not going to wait for me to give it to you first?”

  “I am, but I’m curious.”

  “I told you curiosity killed the cat.”

  I crinkle my nose. “I can tell you a few other things that killed that cat too.”

  Nathan hands me the smaller black box. “It’s diamond earrings and a matching bracelet. The diamonds aren’t as big as the necklace’s.”

  “When do you have time to do this stuff?” I flip the top. The brilliance of the diamonds causes them to sparkle in the sun.

  “I find time. You like them?”

  “I love them, Nathan. Thank you.” I kiss his cheek. “You do things like this that make me love you and all your glorious, fake boyfriend assholeness.” The earrings and bracelet are breathtaking. “I don’t know where you come up with this stuff. But these are amazing.”

  “Assholeness isn’t a word, Sparks. I’m glad you like them. Anything else bothering you?”

  “Yes. Ann and Roseland.” I take the bracelet from the box and hold out my wrist so he can put it on me. I’m sure I’ll wear this forever. It fits around my wrist loose enough to move, but not slide down to my hand.

  “I’m still thinking about it. I don’t know yet.”

  “Do you want to talk about it with him?” I hand him the box after taking out the earrings.

  “No,” he’s short, stuffing the empty box back in his pocket.

  I stare at the necklace a while longer before closing the box and handing it back to him. “Do you care?”

  “Yeah. But only because you’ll be sleeping under the same roof with them until I find us some place to move.”

  Putting in the earrings, I ask, “You really think us moving will change things?”

  “Not change the way things are. But it will make our lives a little less stressful. Us not being directly in the middle of the drama caused by my family. We’ll be happier, for sure.”

  “What about drama not caused by your family?”

  “I can handle that, drop them on a dime. It’s hard for me to do that for these people I’ve been around my entire life.”

  “You wouldn’t kill your family, Nathan.”

  “Okay, Sparks,” he jeers. “So, Lana’s cool.”

  “She is. Olar’s different around her.”

  “He is. Maybe he’ll stop being so ruthless now that he has someone and something to live for.”

  “Do you think they’ll come back after us? That man who took Olar.”

  “Yes. I know he will.”

  “Then what?”

  “Same shit.”

  “Deal?”

  “Yep. Are you okay with this life?”

  I breathe. “I wish I could just be happy with you, not fighting, no death, no pain. Just your basic everyday relationship, living happily ever after.”

  “Doesn’t happily ever after mean our story ends? Why wait when we can give each other happiness now. We’ll move out to like, the North Pole and no one will come after us there.”

  “I don’t want to move to the North Pole. I just want my friend back.”

  “Hey, Nathan!”

  We turn in the directions from where we heard the unfamiliar female’s voice.

  “They better not be one of those,” I warn him, watching two girls approach.

  Nathan chuckles. “They aren’t. That’s our cousin, and the other girl must be her friend.” Our cousin and her friend approach. “Hey, Carmen.”

  “Hey. I saw Olar; he said you were out here with your lady. Hi, Tracey. I’m Carmen. Thank you for choosing my cousin.” She smiles with beautiful honey colored eyes the same color as her hair full of bouncy curls. It compliments her smooth, olive skin tone.

  “Hi, Carmen, nice to meet you.” Her positive, confident presence is refreshing. I like it, and she feels trusting.

  “This is my friend Talisa. Talisa, these are my cousins Nathan and Tracey.”

  “Hey. How’s it going?” she sings, waving. A little less conservative than Carmen, Talisa wears a bikini top and shorts, showing off a Tree of Life image tatted on her warm toned skin.

  “Hey,” Nathan and I greet.

  Carman sits beside us. “What you all doing today? Courtney, Carteal, and I are coming over there day after tomorrow.”

  “I didn’t know that. What for? The summer?” Nathan asks.

  “Yeah, what else?” she snorts. “We have to get us a room before the house fills for the summer.”

  “I didn’t know you were going away for the summer,” Talisa mentions.

  “I wouldn’t say going away. They only stay about an hour out. It’s a summer thing for our family to pile up at their house. We’ve been doing it since we were kids.”

  “Why?” Talisa mocks, pretty upset about the news.

  “Their house is the biggest. Why does it matter?” Yeah, she’s definitely a Newcomb, probably grown on the same branch as Nathan.

  “Because I thought we had plans,” Talisa jeers, throwing her hand on her hip. Their intense exchanged makes me wonder if we should leave the
m alone.

  “Nope. My brothers and I have the same plan every summer.”

  “That’s not cool, Carmen. You know we have things to do.”

  “If you have an issue, Talisa, just call me when you’re over it.”

  “Whatever.” Talisa flips her hair as she turns and stomps away.

  Carmen looks to her left and right, and a thought squints her eyes and knits her brows. She mutters, “Um, you think I can hitch a ride to my house. I forgot she was my ride.”

  Nathan chuckles. “If you weren’t such a bitch to your friend, you would have a ride.”

  “Come on, Nate.” She nudges his arm. “You know I don’t have friends. Just family.”

  “Yeah, I think we have enough room.”

  “Thank you in advance. Why you out so far?”

  “Had to get away from where we were,” I answer her, maybe a little too comfortable around Carmen.

  “It’s okay, Sparks. She’s cool.” Nathan rubs my arms up and down. “We’ll have to catch you up on all the things that have been going on when you come back around,” he tells her.

  “Damn, that bad, huh?”

  “A little bit. Where’s Court and Cart?” Nathan asks. I am assuming they are her brothers.

  “They didn’t tag along. Talisa likes Carteal, and he tries to avoid her. He’s the only reason she’s trying to be my friend. I’m no fool. And actually, I knew what plans she was talking about, which was to stay at my house for the summer. She’s one of those and Carteal isn’t going for that.”

  Nathan laughs. “She shoulda went after Courtney; she’d have better luck with him.”

  “She would. My poor brother goes after anything with legs.”

  I listen to them, watching the children playing happily, running through the park, imagining how it must feel to not feel. I try to place myself in their shoes and let go.

  “Tracey.” Her voice is light and calm. “You and Nathan been together for a while? Courtney was telling me about it, but I’m not into third party details.”

  “Since March. What’s that, some months? One day it feels like a week, the next it seems like years.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. I can’t wait to mate, and he can take me away from this hell we call life.” She lets her head fall back, stretching her neck. The sun sprinkles past the leaves of the tree and sparkles in her eyes when she looks over at me. “That sounded harsh, didn’t it?”

  I laugh at her nonchalant, sarcastic, yet honest attitude. “No, that’s cool. I get it. Believe me.”

  “Good.” She hits Nathan’s arm. “Where’s Scooter? I hear he’s mated to some girl at his school. I cannot wait to meet this chick!”

  Nathan shifts uneasily behind me. “That’s a part of the things we’ll talk about later.”

  “No. I don’t like the way that sounds. Tell me now,” she orders.

  He hasn’t said it, not even after it happened. I rub his arms that tighten their hold on me. “You don’t have to, Nate. It’s okay.” I wish I could help take away the discomfort, but I haven’t found peace in it yet.

  “No, Nathan,” Carmen whines. “Don’t say that,” she groans, eyes frowning. “Can somebody tell me what happened?”

  He clears his throat to say, “I can’t yet. But Olar will tell you.”

  I sit on my knees behind him, wrapping my arms around his neck. It kills me to feel him hurting like this.

  Carmen jumps from the table. “I’ll be back. I’m going to find Olar.” She avoids looking in our direction when she runs off behind us, but I saw why.

  I kiss the side of Nathan’s neck. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, Sparks. Thanks.”

  Kissing him again, I say, “Let’s walk? Well, you walk, and I’ll make myself comfy on your back.”

  “Really? A piggy back ride?” he asks as if the idea of it is somehow unbelievable.

  I laugh. “Yes, Nate. Come on.” I nudge his side with my knee, in a way a jockey would.

  He twists around, brow hitched, and lips pressed into a thin line.

  My laugh lasts longer than I intended. I don’t want a piggyback ride, just wanted to make you feel better.

  “Thank you.” He leans in, giving me another feather-soft peck. Snatching me off the table, I stumble forward, tripping over my feet. He swoops me up in his arms and walks.

  “So, no piggyback ride, but you can carry me.”

  “Yep. I can’t see you behind me.”

  “It would be a kind of cool ability if you could,” I joke.

  We’re spotted by two older women who awe as we passed them.

  I smile at them, and they wave. “So, Superman,” I start, “why all the mood swings today?”

  “Nathan,” he corrects. “And I could ask you the same.”

  “Today isn’t a good day for either of us. I don’t know why I’m hot and cold. I just feel weird on the inside. And I need to figure out what we’re going to tell Mrs. Richards.”

  “That’s Glen’s mom?”

  “Yes.”

  “We can tell her there was an accident, leave my cousin out of it. We can have my aunt make it legit with doctor records and we’ll get some police reports.” He breathes. “We can stop by today if you want, on our way back to your house. Just to tell her what happened.”

  “You have it all figured out don’t you,” I mumble, trying to hold back the sudden heat that brings tears to my eyes.

  “I’ve been thinking about it since last night.”

  I observe the park, watching us be watched. My cheeks burn, making me want to avoid their stares.

  “Are you embarrassed, Sparks?” Nathan asks, slowing his pace.

  This side of the park is packed full of people. They stare, either turning up their nose, smiling, or pointing. One girl even nudges who may be her boyfriend and scolds him for not doing the same for her. “No, Nathan. Not embarrassed.”

  “You’ve turned red.”

  “A lot of people are looking at us. I hate people staring at me.”

  “You want me to put you down?” he asks in a facetious a tone.

  I nod. “Maybe they’ll stop.”

  “Okay.” He smirks. Moving humanly fast he turns me, he brings my face to his and lays a deep, soul bending kiss to my lips in front of everyone.

  My cheeks burn, but I won’t break away. His passionate caress revives my dying butterflies, returns the flush to my paling skin, and freshens the air I’m obligated to breathe. I fill up. Fill up and flow over, opening my mind to our world where only we, the stars, the sun, and the moon exist. Where we’re the universe, the beginning, and the ever after.

  Whoops and awws from onlookers bring me back.

  Nathan lets me to the ground, beaming at me with that cocky smirk that weakens my knees.

  I throw my hand in my face, whispering, “You are something else. You know that?”

  Never taking his eyes off me to look around at the chattering people still talking about us, his gaze bores into me. “Now you’re embarrassed.”

  He is such a romantic asshole. “That I am,” I say, pulling him to walk past the people gawking at us.

  Nathan pulls our outstretched arms to him and wraps his around my shoulder. He slows our steps to a sap’s pace. “What’s wrong, Sparks?” he asks, chuckling.

  “Nothing.” My cheeks hurt from smiling this hard. I can’t believe he did that in front of everybody, all intimate and stuff.

  “Then why are you trying to escape?”

  “Because everyone’s staring at us.”

  “Sparks, it’s okay. Let them stare.”

  “I know. But that’s never happened to me before.”

  “You better stop acting like you’re embarrassed by me before I do it again.”

  I meet hazel-brown eyes, a dare peering back at me through his lashes. “Don’t do that.” I liked it—I loved it—and I don’t care who’s around, it was just unexpected. The people around us lessen as we continue around the trail.

  “You’ve b
een helping me feel better, Sparky. A hell of a lot better. That’s my small token of appreciation. I wanted to make you feel better too.”

  My lips spread and part. The breeze cools my teeth, and my eyes squint with how high my cheeks have risen. I will not tell him I love him, or say how amazing I think he is, or even ask where he gets his amazingness because it’s that, there, that makes me love him for me and not forced to by the mating. I’m just going to curl my right arm around his left and suck up this peace.

  It feels great to be out, walking hand and hand with Nathan like we used to. Talking about starting school in the fall and my parents’ move makes him bring up our move. I’ve begun to take him serious about it now.

  “When are you trying to do this moving thing?”

  “Yesterday,” he states.

  “Mom and Dad want me to get my own spot instead.”

  Nathan shrugs. “That’s cool too. I’m still leaving.”

  “What do you think your mom will say?”

  “She’ll be mad. But she understands.”

  “Just me, you, and Nathan?”

  He takes a breath. “Yeah, Olar talked to me about coming too, now that he has Lana he’ll want to come.”

  “You’d be okay with them moving with us?”

  “I was thinking about getting a small house, something with only four bedrooms and a basement, but with more people, it looks like I need to consider something a bit larger. But I’m used to living with a lot of people. It comes down to if you will be okay with it.”

  Little Nathan’s cool. I already knew he was going to come if we moved. “Oh, Taylor and Justin wouldn’t be coming anymore?”

  “I don’t know.” He’s short.

  “Do you want them to?” I know I’m probably pushing it with this question, but I need to know. He’ll probably shut me out, blocking out his feelings if he chooses not to answer.

  “No, Sparks, I’ll answer you. I miss my sister, but I can’t trust her. I don’t want to trust her, and I have no interest in rebuilding anything with her. I don’t want her to live under the same roof as us, but our doors will always be open to her because she’s family.”

  Wow, he gave me a thorough answer. One point to Tracey for getting Nathan to open up. “So, Carmen, she seems cool.”