The GP's Secret Baby Wish

by Sue MacKay

  That deep, sexy voice brought back memories best forgotten. When accepting the position at one of the city’s most reputable medical centres, she’d determined to be friendly towards him while keeping her distance, had hoped to feel only indifference, not have her blood racing and her toes tingling from only a glance. Gulp. When it came to medicine and learning all there was to know, he’d been excellent during his internship and that was all that mattered here, not the brief fling that had led to disappointment in herself for feeling something for him. Making a success of this job included getting on with Max.

  ‘How’s that wrist, Lily?’ he asked, finally looking straight at her for a moment.

  ‘There’s little movement because of the swelling. Michelle, how painful is it? One to ten, ten highest.’

  ‘Eight. Ankle’s ten.’ Despair began pouring out of Michelle’s mouth. ‘That creep’s ruined everything I’ve worked so hard for. Where is he? He pushed me and now he’s run away. The coward.’

  Shaking her head to refocus and put aside the flare of interest Max’s look had created, Lily reached for Michelle’s wrist again. ‘I want to check further.’ With one finger, she began gently pressing the joints.

  ‘It hurts like hell. I reckon it’s broken. And my ankle. How am I going to play with the netball team in England now? Tell me that.’

  ‘We don’t know anything for certain.’ Max was again gently feeling the tissue above the shoe but quickly stopped when Michelle groaned. ‘You need X-rays.’

  ‘Why bother? I felt the ankle crack. The pain’s excruciating. I won’t be able to train for months. So much for all the hard work I’ve put in. It’s come to nothing because of some idiot who doesn’t have the gumption to stay and see if he can do anything to help me.’ Tears spewed down Michelle’s white face. ‘Where is he?’ she yelled.

  ‘Take it easy. You’re in good physical condition, which is a bonus.’ From what little Lily could see, Michelle must work out a lot. ‘Let’s find out what the damage is first,’ she said, her heart squeezing for the woman who was obviously a very fit athlete. There was no denying that she probably wouldn’t be playing netball any time soon, though. ‘I’m sure Max has ideas on how to get you up and about as fast as possible once we know.’

  His head shot up and he stared at her for a moment then replied, ‘You bet.’ He looked to Michelle and smiled encouragingly.

  Lily fought her disappointment. No smile for her. This wasn’t how meeting up with Max again for the first time was meant to feel. Awkward, not direct and simple. Not that she’d been silly enough to think it would be quite that easy. But she was home for good and wanted the best out of this career opportunity. As for men, she was done with them. Except for one purpose and that would take a lot of careful thought and good judgement before it came about.

  Since becoming single again, a slow, quiet tick-tock had begun deep inside where her heart lay, saying that time was rushing by, that she might never find a man to love her for who she was and to give her the family she longed for. A man who was kind, sensible, generous of spirit and downright decent.

  Not Max, then.

  She shivered. There was no chance of that with his ego and way of using charm to get everything he wanted. He’d also shown a lack of concern for the women whose hearts he’d broken. Intelligent and clever, he could also be self-centred and egotistical.

  He was talking to Michelle, calm and direct. ‘You want me to ring your mother and let her know what’s happened once we’ve got you on your way?’

  ‘I guess.’ Michelle scrubbed at her face with her uninjured hand, blinking rapidly.

  Scrabbling in her bag, Lily found a pocket pack of tissues. ‘Here you go.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Max continued talking as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. ‘You need to focus on getting treatment and arranging physio as soon as it’s feasible. As I said, you’re strong and fit. Those things are on your side in this and will help you back to normal sooner than most people.’

  Lily kept watching Michelle while listening to the determination for his patient in Max’s voice. It was his way of saying she couldn’t fail now. Kindness hidden behind his medical analysis, and that surprised her. If she were ever to consider a man as a father for her child, he would have to be kind.

  Just then Max glanced her way, a brief wry smile on those full lips. And something jolted deep inside her. Something warm, and tight with apprehension. It couldn’t be. Let’s face it. When he’d smiled at her on the final morning she’d woken up in his bed, there’d been no jolting going on. Or so she’d told herself. It had been more remorse for joining Max’s statistics and fear she’d let him get to her.

  Let it go. Falling for that smile now was not on her agenda. Starting at the medical hub was all about being a doctor and getting on with plans for the future, it had nothing to do with him. But it was impossible to ignore the fluttering in her belly. Soft and continual, as though she was being told to look at Max in a whole new way. It was becoming more obvious every minute how much he’d changed. Concern for his patient was normal, but not the self-deprecating humour he’d briefly shown her. She tightened her stomach to quieten the flutter.

  Max had always worked hard and sucked up knowledge like a sponge. That wouldn’t have changed. It’d been important for him to do well in his career, which had resonated with her own ambitions, and the only aspect she knew about him that wasn’t full of his ego. He’d always accepted when he was wrong if it meant learning something to improve his skills. His patients would no doubt like him a lot.

  Something clicked in her brain, solving a pesky riddle that had been hovering in the background since her interview with the partners of the centre. When she’d known him previously Max had been fervent about specialising in surgery.

  ‘Sports doctor?’ And GP. What had happened in the intervening years?

  He told her with a guarded look, ‘There’s a wheelchair in the room behind Reception. Would you mind getting it?’

  ‘No problem.’ Had he deliberately avoided her question? Or was he merely reminding her they were with a patient?

  ‘Door on the left. Avoid Reception and everyone or we’ll be waiting out here for ages.’

  Where the function she’d been heading to, before Max had called out, was being held. ‘On it. What about an ambulance?’

  ‘I’ll call when we’re inside, out of the cold,’ Max replied.

  Within minutes she’d returned to the scene with a nifty wheelchair, and locked the brakes in preparation to loading Michelle. ‘Here we go.’

  Max straightened up. ‘Between us we’ll lift you onto the chair, Michelle.’

  Michelle had other ideas. ‘Take a side each and pull me up. I can stand on my good leg.’

  ‘Fine.’ Max obviously knew not to argue. She was quickly in the chair and Max was rolling her up the incline to the side door of the medical centre.

  Inside, Lily followed them down the hall to an office that the diplomas on the wall told her was Max’s. Again, she wanted to ask about his change in direction but managed to swallow the question. He was affecting her with his focused approach, which was nothing like the vibrant, the-world-is-my-oyster guy she’d known. This quieter, still smiling but in a softer way, man was knocking her long-held beliefs that he was all about himself.

  Max held a hand out to her. ‘Welcome aboard, Lily.’

  She stared at that hand, her skin warming with memories.

  ‘Lily?’ He was retracting his welcome gesture.

  Quickly sliding her hand into his large one, she gave it a shake. ‘Thanks, Max. I’m excited about working here.’ About seeing you. Jerking free, she stepped back, glancing across to confused eyes. ‘I mean it,’ she added. I think.

  ‘Good.’ He turned to the other woman. ‘Michelle, Lily Scott’s taking over from Sarah in a couple of weeks so technically
she’s going to be your GP. Lily, Michelle Baxter.’

  Lily reached for her hand and shook it. ‘Wish I’d met you in better circumstances.’

  ‘So do I.’ Michelle’s cheeks flushed. ‘Sorry, ignore me. I’m acting like a spoilt brat, but it’s truly frustrating.’

  ‘You’re fine. Anyone would be furious at what’s occurred.’ But bad things happened to people. There was no avoiding them. She knew that all too well.

  Only six months ago she’d arrived home at the Singapore apartment she’d shared with her fiancé, Leo, to find him waiting, bags packed, while a one-way ticket to Scotland and his passport had lain on the table. He was heading back to his home town and she wasn’t invited. He’d decided to go back to the girlfriend he’d broken up with only months before meeting Lily. A woman Lily had never heard of until that day. Apparently Leo had been in constant contact with her for months and the lure of what they’d once had was too strong to ignore. Stronger than his feelings for Lily. She’d loved him and it hadn’t counted.

  Two broken relationships showed how unlucky she was in love, had proved how unlovable she must be. Two men had cheated on her. There were only so many heartbreaks she could survive, and Max wasn’t causing her another. After their fling he’d been cool towards her, suggesting he might’ve actually been glad she’d stopped it, and that had added to her sense that she was unlovable when it came to finding a soul mate. She’d better remember that. It was a strong reason for contemplating having a baby on her own.

  Lily had been as much furious at being duped by Leo as she had felt hurt. He hadn’t wanted children, something he’d failed to mention until he’d been leaving. That dishonesty had been a bitter pill to swallow, but over the intervening months it had been dissolving and now she was almost relieved that relationship was over, as though Leo hadn’t been as much the love of her life as she’d believed.

  Second best because going for the real thing was too risky, hurt too much when it failed. She just wasn’t good at relationships. Men might let her down, go to other women for comfort, but she’d be a loving, devoted mother. No one would take that away from her.

  Family meant everything to her, and if she had to have her own baby in a different way then so be it. No more hoping for love to come her way, or having her own thrown back in her face. She’d selflessly love her child alongside her parents, brothers and sisters-in-law. As her mouth curved upward, her heart slowed. A baby. Her baby. Wow. If she got past the idea of a stranger fathering her infant, it would be amazing.

  Max was talking to Michelle. ‘Between the three of us, we’ll get you back on your feet and beating the hell out of those Poms.’

  ‘You think?’ Hope flicked on in their patient’s eyes. ‘You’d better be right.’ The hope disappeared as fast as it had arrived.

  Gathering her scattered thoughts, Lily added her bit to Max’s encouragement. ‘We’ll do better than that.’ Again an unfamiliar warmth touched Lily’s skin. Max had included her in the scenario with Michelle when he could have claimed it was a sports injury and therefore his case. She hadn’t expected that. She hugged herself. People did change. She had. She’d faced her demons and found a way to move forward.

  ‘It won’t be a walk in the park, but we’ll make it happen. You’ve got to stay positive. That’s as important as the rest.’ Max locked a formidable gaze on their patient. ‘I’ll get you some pain relief and phone for an ambulance.’

  Michelle nodded. ‘The sooner the better for both.’

  Through the partially open door laughter reached them. Max glanced over. ‘You’d better get in there and start meeting everyone, Lily. I’ll look after Michelle and join the fray when she’s on her way.’

  She couldn’t believe the disappointment making itself known in her head at his suggestion. Disappointed she wasn’t spending more time with Max? She wasn’t admitting that so it must be to do with getting to know her first patient. ‘It’s Sarah’s farewell night. I’ll stay with Michelle while you phone for the ambulance.’

  ‘Get on with you. Everyone’s wanting to welcome you to the centre. I’m going to stay here until Michelle’s on her way.’ He held the phone up. ‘I’ve got painkillers in my bag.’

  There was no arguing with him. She gave in on a sigh. ‘I guess I’d better put in an appearance before they think I’m a no show.’

  ‘You might want to check your face in the mirror,’ Max nodded to a cupboard door on the far wall. ‘You’ve got a smear on your cheek.’

  She blinked. ‘Thanks.’

  He grinned. ‘No problem.’

  Showing her care and understanding was new. Nothing like the guy who’d basically called her a control freak when she’d turned him down after three hot nights together.

  Tonight he was presenting an image she’d not seen before. Or had she been so determined to find fault with him to protect herself that she’d missed what had been right before her eyes? He’d tweaked her curiosity with his gentleness in bed, and the heat between them had been a conflagration. He certainly hadn’t appeared to find her lacking as a sexual partner, but she hadn’t hung around long enough to risk that wearing off and having that sense of something wonderful happening between them expanding to the point she’d be devastated when he moved on. Because he would have without a doubt. It had been his way.

  Yet now she wanted to find out more. The unknown made life tricky, increased the possibility of something going wrong. Failure was something she rarely experienced, except with lovers. Growing up with two brothers who had continually goaded her into proving she was as good as them at any job on the farm had been a constant battle, but she’d always taken up the challenges. Her brothers had helped her grow a backbone and become resilient, but they had never taught her to protect her heart, hence she gave it away too easily. Not any more, though, except to her baby when he or she came about.

  Ducking into the bathroom, Lily wiped the smudge of mascara from under her eye and laughed at herself for getting excited over Max. He might look and sound different, but Max was Max, end of story. Best keep that in the forefront of her mind. She’d returned home to get on with being a doctor in a fabulous centre. Starting now, she would not let bygone hurts distract her, would put them behind her and be open to opportunities as they arose.

  ‘There you are.’ Devlin, one of the partners, approached her with a welcoming smile when she entered the reception area. ‘Thought I’d have to send out a search party.’

  ‘A patient had an accident getting on the bus. Max’s getting her sorted now.’ She resisted the urge to hug Devlin in case anyone got the wrong idea. He was her father’s lifelong friend, having grown up on a neighbouring farm, though Devlin had left to become a doctor while her father had remained on the land. She and Devlin had agreed to be open about knowing each other well, but wouldn’t flaunt it. She was here on her own merits, not because of family contacts. ‘Being here is great.’ Even with Max in the picture.

  * * *

  Max stood in the doorway, shoulder against the frame, watching Lily doing the circuit, his hand still tingling from where her palm had touched his. Shock had flicked in and out of her eyes, a similar shock to the one that had torpedoed his gut. The same sensation he’d known with her three years ago. Apparently not even the gruelling episode he’d suffered since then had fixed that. Being totally at ease with everyone came naturally to her but, then, coming from a wealthy background would boost anyone’s confidence, and Lily had an abundance of that.

  When they’d worked together in ED, she’d twice appeared on television at her father’s side for the national wine awards, dressed in stunning dresses and standing confidently on dangerously high heels, smiling as though she’d won and not her parent. It was something he’d given her a hard time about, and now regretted. There were a few things to do with Lily he regretted, one being how their fling had finished so abruptly. He hadn’t taken it well, had been rude to her
to hide his hurt. Unbelievably he’d begun to see her as a woman who mattered, who he just might be able to take a chance with.

  Lily had been special in bed, generous while not trying to impress, unlike the Lily he’d thought he knew, and unlike other women he’d slept with. Her enthusiasm for life and wanting to share that with him during that short time had touched him in a way he’d not known before. It had been something he’d wanted to explore, to share and give back, which he never did with the women he dated. Yet there’d been a red flag warning him about finding more to her than he could cope with, and failing to let go of her when the fling ran its course.

  It had been something he’d wanted to explore, yet had been wary of—worried he might find more to her than he could cope with. A reason for remaining single until he qualified was the oath he’d sworn to himself to avoid getting sidetracked and maybe failing. He’d had to show his father he was worthy of him, that when his mother had left them, taking his sister with her, it hadn’t meant he wasn’t lovable. The problem with that was that his father didn’t do loving and caring, more like demanding and tough. It was only recently that he had realised that for Dad that was being loving.

  His eyes were still tracking Lily. She was gorgeous with a capital G.

  Michelle was impressed. ‘Straightforward and no promises she mightn’t be able to keep,’ had been her opinion.

  Not that he could fault Michelle’s decision to take Lily on as her GP. Lily didn’t overwork sympathy or try to impress just for the sake of it. She could put on a show when needed, though never when it came to her medical career. He sighed. She had been dedicated to learning all she could. Huh? Max jerked upright. He hadn’t thought of it before, but he could see it now. That hadn’t been about making herself look good. Lily soaking up knowledge and then using it with patients carefully and confidently but quietly, not showing off to anyone. He’d seen her in action and not credited her with what it was worth, too busy following his own path, busy living life to the full, working all hours, and not being impressed when anyone had got in the way or turned him down. He had never stopped to see people for who they were.