Say You Love Me : An Enemies to Lovers Romance

by Sarah J. Brooks

  She smacked my arm. “Where do you come up with this stuff?” She smirked and grabbed her purse, then patted my ass. “You clean up pretty nicely yourself. Those slacks mold your butt like a glove.”

  It was my turn to chuckle. Lena Ducate knew how to turn the tables on me. I loved it. I had dressed in dark grey dress slacks and a cashmere sweater. I took her arm and walked her out to the living room where we had left our coats.

  Upon opening the door, I could see it was still snowing. It was a good thing my car had four-wheel drive. I opened the passenger side door for Lena and let my eyes wander up the length of her as she carefully got in.

  A few minutes later we were headed toward town.

  “Are you warm enough? I turned the seat warmers on,” I told her as I drove slowly down the road.

  “I’m perfectly comfortable.” Lena rubbed her hands together. “So where are we going? I like surprises and all but I’m hungry, so I want to start preparing.”

  I grinned. “I’ve noticed you definitely like to eat.”

  She gave me a bland look. “I don’t understand why I should deny myself food I enjoy because it’ll ruin my figure. I say life’s too short. As long as you’re healthy, go for it.”

  “I agree completely. But to answer your question, there’s a bistro only a few miles away. It’s in a swank spa and hotel. They do a seven-course tasting menu. The reviews are outstanding.” I turned down a graveled path and slowed down once I reached a large, wrought iron gate that slowly opened as the car approached. The hotel was brightly lit at the top of the hill.

  “Seven courses sound perfect. I haven’t eaten since brunch this morning and I barely touched that,” Lena said.

  I frowned in concern. “How are you feeling now?”

  She waved away my question. “Fine. It must have been a 24-hour thing. Now I’m famished. I could literally eat a horse. Though I wouldn’t. I like horses.”

  I pulled up to the valet and we got out of the car. I handed the keys to the eager young man. I then took Lena’s hand and led her to the restaurant.

  “You’re not going to warn him not to scratch the paint?” she joked.

  I shrugged. “There are more important things in life than a car.”

  She leaned into me and I put my arm around her. We stood like that for a moment before going inside. She turned her face up to look at me. The snow had stopped, but it was cold. Our breath came in puffs and her nose had turned red. Her eyes glittered in the bright Christmas lights hung in the trees outside the door.

  “Thank you, Jeremy. For bringing me here. For renting the cabin. For thinking of me.”

  “I always think of you, Marlena. Don’t you know that?” I said softly before kissing her.

  She gave me a playful push. “Don’t go all romantic on me or I’ll think you like me or something.”

  “We can’t have that,” I remarked dryly, taking her hand again.

  The maître d' sat us in a shadowed corner. The restaurant was small, with only twenty tables and all of them were full. The chairs were deep and plush. I practically sank into the cushions. The waiter brought a tablet and told us to choose our wines from the selection.

  “You choose,” Lena insisted, so I picked a very expensive bottle of red.

  Once the wine was brought to the table and we were both sipping from glasses, our attention turned to each other.

  “This is almost weird,” Lena commented, putting her wine down.

  “Weird? How?” I asked.

  “It’s like a date,” she answered.

  “That’s because it is a date, Marlena. What else would it be?” I chuckled. The waiter brought our first course, New England crab with soy and sesame and a side of ginger asparagus.

  Lena looked troubled. “This doesn’t feel like just sex anymore.”

  I lifted my fork and paused before putting the food in my mouth. “No, it doesn’t,” I agreed. We both took a bite and in unison groaned our appreciation.

  “Damn, this is amazing.” She took another bite, then another. When she was finished, she pouted so I swapped plates with her.

  “I like you, Jeremy. A lot. But…” Her words trailed off. She didn’t need to finish her thought. I knew what she was going to say.

  There was Adam to consider. There was the fact that we worked together.

  There was my very active sexual past.

  How do we move on from that?

  I reached across the table and took her hand. “We don’t have to figure it out this weekend. Let’s simply enjoy being here. Together. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

  Lena smiled and it warmed every inch of me. Sometimes she looked at me like she saw a man that I wanted to be.

  Our next course was brought out and we both dived into pressed confit chicken with truffle glaze.

  “This is decadent. I almost feel guilty eating like this,” Lena groaned, taking another sip of wine.

  “There’s nothing wrong with indulging once in a while. I’ve learned over the years to never take the good stuff for granted. That as easy as it comes, it can just as easily disappear.” I wiped my mouth and pushed my empty plate to the side. The waiter was there in an instant, taking away the dirty dishes and refilling our wine glasses.

  Lena propped her chin on her palm and gave me a probative look. “You’ve mentioned bits and pieces about your life before Southport. Tell me about your family. I want to know what little Jeremy Wyatt was like. Was he as cocky and full of himself as the adult version?” She chuckled and I joined her, wishing I had easy childhood recollections to share. Not just ones of crying and anxiety; memories of tears before bed and hiding underneath my covers.

  I never talked about my growing up years. Adam and Rob knew very little. Todd and Derek knew some, but not all, for the only reason that they were there for the worst of it. I sure as hell never shared that part of me with a woman.

  I picked up my wine glass and swirled the deep ruby liquid. “I never really talk about it. I didn’t have the fantasy childhood that you Ducates most likely had, filled with family vacations and Christmases with presents and traditions and shit.” My mouth twisted bitterly. “It’s not a happy story, Marlena. Not exactly dinner time conversation.”

  Lena, realizing I was putting her off, surprisingly didn’t get upset. She simply nodded. “I get that. I don’t mean to pry. I guess I just wanted to know you better. I thought that was what this weekend was about.” She didn’t sound accusing though, only a little sad.

  The next course arrived, but I barely paid attention to the venison loin and caramelized cauliflower puree. I picked up my fork and poked at my food. “I was a shy kid,” I offered.

  Lena snorted. “You, shy? I don’t believe it.”

  “Really, I was. I had a stutter until I was seven. Kids would make fun of me. I was overweight too. I was given the nickname Porky.” When she looked confused, I explained. “Like Porky the Pig. Not only was he fat, but he had a stammer too. Elementary school is rough if you don’t fit a certain mold.”

  Marlena’s expression was one of sympathy, which is what I didn’t want. I had always hated people feeling sorry for me. It was bad enough to have a crappy life, but having people pity you because you had a crappy life made it worse.

  I shrugged. “But I grew up. Puberty was kinder to me than for a lot of my classmates. I shot up; the weight fell off. I sported some pretty gnarly acne, but I also started going to the school gym every morning before classes. I joined the basketball team. I turned things around. And by the time I graduated, no one remembered I used to be Porky Wyatt.”

  I purposefully evaded the topic of my parents. I knew Lena picked up on that, but she didn’t push it.

  “Kids suck. I was teased about my bucked teeth. I sucked my thumb until I was five, so I had awful teeth until I was old enough to get braces. My mom was so frustrated with my thumb sucking she would soak it with hot sauce.” She winced.

  “I bet Marion made you cookies afterward though. I can’t
see her being a firm disciplinarian. She’s too nice for that,” I pointed out. I had always liked Marion Ducate. In the early days of the practice, she would bake muffins every morning and bring them in on a plate for us to eat. When Adam told her I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving, Marion and Tom made sure I had a spot at their table. I had met a lot of people in my life, but few were as naturally kind and giving as the Ducates.

  Lena laughed. “It seems you’ve got my mom pegged. She always felt guilty, but she knew how to be firm when she needed to be.”

  “I’ve seen her chew Adam out a few times, so I’m not surprised.” I finished my venison. My stomach was starting to feel full, but I was enjoying myself. I loved being in Lena’s company. There was no awkwardness or stall in conversation; it flowed naturally.

  “I’m so full,” Lena moaned, rubbing her stomach.

  “Well you better make room, we have three more courses,” I reminded her. The waiter brought us small bowls of sorbet to ‘cleanse our pallets.’ “So, tell me, what was Adam like as a kid? An obnoxious overachiever like he is now?”

  Lena grinned. “Oh yeah. But worse. He was class president, perfect GPA, captain of the basketball team, Mr. Popularity. If I didn’t love him so much, I would have hated him.”

  I made a face. “I get it. Sometimes I want to hate him too.”

  Lena licked sorbet from her spoon, and I forced myself not to focus on the slow, seductive movement. Getting an erection in the middle of a restaurant wouldn’t be ideal.

  “I remember the first time he mentioned you,” Lena said.

  I raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I’m intrigued.”

  “He came over to Mom and Dad’s for dinner and he mentioned this crazy brilliant guy he knew from law school who he planned to go into practice with. You were working with your uncle?”

  “Bart Quincey. He’s not really my uncle, I just always called him Uncle Bart. He was a good friend of my mom when they were younger. He tried to look out for me, but my dad didn’t like him coming around…” I drifted off. What more was there to say? My dad ruined most things in my life. Or at least tried to.

  Lena, once again, didn’t pry. There was something reassuring about the way she let my past exist there in the air between us without digging in. I knew she was curious. I knew she wanted me to explain. But she’d never make me.

  And for that reason alone, I wanted to share everything.

  “Adam described you as one of the smartest people he had ever met. Present company excluded of course,” she smirked.

  I bowed my head in deference. “Of course.”

  “And when I met you that first time, I knew he was right. You were smart and charming and probably the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen.” Lena took a long drink of wine. Her cheeks were rosy, which indicated she was starting to feel the alcohol. I was beginning to know and recognize these intimate details about her.

  “And I thought you were about the sexiest woman I had ever laid eyes on,” I jumped in.

  “There was chemistry between us, right from the beginning, wasn’t there?” she asked, cocking her head to the side as she regarded me.

  I leaned across the table and took her hand between mine. “Fucking hell, I wanted you so badly that night. And just about every night since then,” I admitted.

  She chewed on her bottom lip. Uh oh.

  “So why did you ditch me and hook up with Nicola?” she asked without preamble.

  “Who?” I asked in confusion.

  Lena sighed but didn’t pull her hand away. That was progress at least. “That first night we met, I thought there was something there. But then I found you with Nicola Bennett, the county clerk?”

  Nicola?

  And then the memory hit me. I had remembered everything about meeting Lena, but the particulars of that random hook up were hazy. Because Nicola hadn’t mattered.

  What did that say about me?

  That I had been a world-class dick.

  I used to consider that a badge of honor. Now, it made me feel ashamed. I didn’t want Lena to look at me and see an asshole. If I could go back in time and change the way I had behaved, even if I had a good reason for my actions, I would.

  “Right. Nicola.”

  “That kind of sucked,” she said lightly, though I could see the hurt in her eyes.

  I rubbed my forehead. “Marlena, you know I haven’t always been the most upstanding guy…” I paused. Considering. “You know what, fuck it. Adam warned me to stay away from you. He didn’t like me cozying up to his baby sister and I understood that. I wasn’t looking for anything more than a quick bang and Adam knew that. I was selfish and self-centered and Adam used our new partnership as leverage against me.” Lena’s eyes had widened. Before she could speak, I went on. “He was right to do that, Marlena. I would have hurt you. And I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Sure, I thought you were hot, and I liked talking to you. Maybe something could have happened for a little while. But I was a mess back then. Hell, I still am. Though I’m trying to learn not to be.”

  There it was. The truth.

  “Fucking Adam,” Lena muttered, shaking her head.

  “Don’t get pissed at your brother. He was only looking out for you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “He’s always just looking out for me. It’s annoying. As if I’m some naive simpleton incapable of taking care of myself. I should have known it was something like that.” She stopped abruptly and narrowed her eyes. “Is that why you froze me out last year? Did Adam say something then too?”

  “Um…”

  Lena threw her hands in the air. “Ugh! I’m going to kill him! He’s the most meddling, pain in the ass, nosy son of—”

  “Baby, calm down. Don’t go putting a hit out on the poor guy. His intentions were good. And he wasn’t wrong, was he?” I hated to say it because it made me question what I was doing with her now. How could I be sure I wouldn’t hurt her?

  Lena stared at me long and hard. “Then what is this, Jeremy? What are we doing? Why are you ignoring Adam’s warnings this time? What’s different?”

  I could only answer from the heart. “I don’t know, Marlena. I just feel that this time I can be better. For you.” Would it be enough for her?

  She didn’t say anything. The waiter brought our next course, but neither of us started eating. I needed to give her more if she was going to accept what I was offering.

  “My parents’ marriage has always been fucked up. My dad’s a mean, violent drunk. When he wasn’t smacking my mother around, he was making her feel worthless.” I took a deep breath, readying myself before continuing. “He cheated on her. Many times. He’s left her over and over again and each time she falls apart and thinks she can’t live without him. And when she’s at her lowest, the asshole comes riding back in and reinforces that she can’t survive on her own.” My eyes felt hot and my throat tightened. “I love my mother. More than anyone. But I hate her too. Because I want her to be stronger. I want her to leave him. But she won’t.”

  I looked into Lena’s deep blue eyes and held her gaze. “I’ve never wanted marriage. Or a family because in my experience, it’s all lies and bullshit. I didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship, so I never even tried.” I wanted to touch her. To hold her. But I needed to get this out first. “But I think maybe with you I can do that. I’m trying, Marlena. I really am.”

  She seemed slightly stunned, her eyes glassy. Was she crying?

  She wiped at her face and sniffed. “I’m so sorry that was your life, Jeremy. I really am. And I think I understand a bit more now.” She gave me a watery smile.

  Not able to help myself, I got up and walked around the table. I dropped down on my haunches in front of her and took her hands. “I really want to try with you.”

  Tears escaped her eyes and dripped down her beautiful face. This time, I wiped them away. “Okay, Jeremy. Let’s try. Together.” she whispered. She leaned down and kissed me, cupping my face in her hands. I put my arms around her, lo
ving the feel of her mouth. Wanting this forever.

  “Excuse me. I have your next course.” The waiter cleared his throat and we broke apart. Lena and I laughed, and I went back to my seat.

  I held her hand across the table while the waiter talked about the grilled scallops and cream sauce. Neither of us looked at him. Our eyes were only for each other.

  And when we went back to the cabin after dinner, we didn’t jump into bed. Instead, we changed out of our clothes, started a fire, and sat together on the couch, looking out over the starlit valley. We talked softly together. About our pasts. About the future.

  When we inevitably turned to each other, needing the physical intimacy, it didn’t hold the lustful fervor we were used to. We slowly made love. Touching. Holding. Kissing.

  With a dull throb in my chest, I fell asleep with the woman I was growing to love curled against me.

  This was what happiness felt like.

  Chapter 15

  Lena

  I was throwing up every single morning for the past three weeks.

  Some days were better than others. If I was lucky, I only threw up once and was able to get on with my routine. But most of the time involved me spending at least thirty minutes bent over the toilet bowl spewing my guts out.

  After my weekend with Jeremy, I thought I was feeling better. I slept better than I had in ages and I knew it had everything to do with him.

  I was still processing all he had revealed about himself. I had a deeper understanding of what made him tick, of why he had always acted as if he didn’t care about anyone or anything. Because when you grow up without a firm, loving foundation, you feel you have nothing to offer anyone.

  Finding out about Adam’s “intervention” was a punch to the gut. I hadn’t said anything to my brother, and I wasn’t sure I would. I knew he had only been trying to protect me, but damn it, it was annoying. I knew I’d have to talk to him eventually because that night tucked away in the woods, away from Southport and everyone we knew, gave me a glimpse at what a life with Jeremy Wyatt could be like. And I liked what I saw.