Player

by Sean Ashcroft

  “Oh, I’ll dance sober,” Julian said, beaming at him. He was glad Isaac seemed to be relaxing.

  Isaac raised an eyebrow.

  “You’re in my territory now,” Julian shrugged. “These are my people. I’m always happy to dance with them.”

  In response, Isaac tugged on Julian’s hand, pulling him toward the rest of the crowd.

  Disappointingly, he let go of Julian’s hand as soon as they’d worked themselves into the throng of people. At least that saved Julian having to work out when the best time would be.

  Isaac was still staring—at everything—but he seemed to be actually enjoying himself now.

  For a brief moment, Julian stood there like an idiot, not sure what to do in this specific situation. Then he remembered that he was supposed to be showing Isaac what this was like.

  Julian was starting to think this whole thing was an elaborately-disguised experiment. That Isaac had questions he wanted answers to.

  He’d wondered before, but dismissed it as wishful thinking when they were younger. Having Isaac come back to him as an adult, though, made him think that maybe he’d known better than he thought. That Isaac did have questions, after all.

  If that was true… Julian was happy to answer them.

  He stepped closer to Isaac, partly to save him the embarrassment of being grabbed by someone else, partly to mark him out as his.

  Isaac’s eyes widened, but he went with it as Julian grabbed both of his hands—not the world’s most intimate touch, but he didn’t want to send Isaac running.

  This was just dancing. With his friend. He knew how to do this.

  Except most of his friends fell firmly into one of three categories: exes he didn’t want to screw again, people he’d never wanted to screw in the first place, and people he wanted and was free to pursue.

  He knew what to do with all of them. He knew to twirl the first two away at arm’s length, laughing and dancing for the hell of it.

  The third, he knew to get close to, grind his hips against, murmur in their ears even though neither of them could hear him talking. Anything to make it clear that he was available and eager.

  Isaac fell into a category of his own. Julian wanted him, but he knew he couldn’t have him.

  “You gonna stand there staring at me all night?” Isaac shouted, apparently used to projecting his voice in places like this.

  Julian’s cheeks heated up. He had to make a decision.

  He took a deep breath, and then stepped forward. Close enough for their chests to brush together, to breathe in the scent of Isaac’s cologne, to feel his warmth seeping through the couple of layers of clothing between them.

  Unexpectedly, Isaac put both of his hands on Julian’s hips. Julian swallowed, but followed his lead and forced himself to relax.

  The last thing he wanted was for Isaac to walk away from this thinking he couldn’t dance.

  Julian closed his eyes, letting the sounds and bodies around him trigger muscle memories of exactly how to do this. He finally felt himself moving, some amount of rhythm returning as he forgot that this was Isaac and let himself pretend it was just an attractive stranger.

  This felt good. Isaac was warm and solid, and Julian wanted him, and he could pretend, just for a moment, that he had him. That they were going out dancing now, and then they’d go home, strip off, and then go through all these moves again, grinding against each other and kissing until they were breathless, high on adrenaline and just tipsy enough for the edges of the world to be soft.

  Heat blossomed in Julian’s stomach at the thought, and at that moment, he decided it was best to just go with it. He could jerk off later, and have this memory forever.

  Laughter bubbled up in his throat, his chest swelling with joy. He loved this, the way his pulse beat to the music, the way another body felt against him, the anticipation of getting to know a new body on the dance floor before getting to know it in bed.

  Isaac’s body moved with his, matching him, making the whole thing seem fluid and easy. He was impossibly, suffocatingly close, but Julian wouldn’t have given it up for anything.

  Isaac could dance. Everything about the way he moved felt good, and Julian had no doubt that he looked good doing it, too.

  How could anyone not want him?

  Julian forced himself to open his eyes again, curiosity getting the better of him.

  It shouldn’t have been a surprise that everyone was staring at them. That they’d even cleared a little space around them to watch. Or even that Isaac was grinning, obviously having the time of his life.

  He liked attention, and he was getting it.

  Julian on the other hand, ignored it. All he could see was Isaac, feel the heat of him, his stomach swooping at how close they were, at the way Isaac looked at him.

  He gasped as Isaac pulled him in close, grinding against him. Heat rushed to his face, as well as other places he’d rather it didn’t.

  Isaac obviously didn’t notice, though, squeezing Julian’s hips and finally, as though he was actually trying to kill him, resting their foreheads together.

  Was he like this with girls? No wonder they flocked to him. Judging by the way people were looking, Isaac could have had anyone in this room.

  They probably all hated Julian right now.

  That wasn’t the worst thing. People didn’t normally envy him.

  The song switched to something slower, and Julian’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. They’d turned up on the late side, and it was probably time for the first wave of people to start leaving. The DJ knew what they were doing. People loved slow songs to finish their night with.

  Thankfully, Isaac backed off an inch or so, laughing and grinning like he was having the time of his life.

  And they were just getting started.

  He looked around for a second, and then ducked back in, his cheek pressed to Julian’s.

  This was it. This was how Julian was going to die. Of his heart exploding from getting what he’d always wanted.

  Right here, in the middle of the kind of gay bar that had a rainbow sign.

  “I could go for that drink now,” Isaac shouted into his ear, though the rest of the noise around them had built so much it might as well have been a whisper.

  The hairs on the back of Julian’s neck stood up as though it was, in any case.

  He backed off this time, nodding dazedly.

  Isaac grinned, grabbed his hand, and tugged him toward the bar.

  This was going to be a long, hard night.

  Chapter Seven

  “So can I get a regular stack of pancakes, four rashers of bacon and a double serve of scrambled eggs?” Isaac asked, waiting for the pretty waitress looking after them to finish scribbling down his order.

  “And whatever he wants,” Isaac added, nodding to Julian.

  Julian started, suddenly sitting upright in his chair and blinking owlishly at the waitress. He’d obviously been away in his own mind.

  “Oh, uh… just a short stack of pancakes, please? And coffee.”

  “Coffee for both of us,” Isaac said. “Thank you so much,” he added with a broad smile.

  The waitress finished making notes and then walked away with a spring in her step.

  Isaac liked being able to make people feel good about themselves.

  “I thought you were ordering for both of us again,” Julian said as he watched the waitress walk away.

  Isaac chuckled. “Back to training on Monday,” he said. “Gotta start eating properly now.”

  “Properly,” Julian said, as though he found that hard to believe.

  “Sure,” Isaac responded. “I guess I could eat… I dunno, protein shakes and poached chicken breasts? But bacon, eggs, and pancakes are more fun and just as good for fuel.”

  Julian blinked at him. “I knew I should’ve taken up a sport.”

  “I remember you being a pretty good cross-country runner,” Isaac said. “Better than me, anyway.”

  Julian chuckle
d. “You were letting me win.”

  “Nope,” Isaac said. “Did you… think that? Honestly?”

  “Up until right now, yeah.” Julian looked down at the table. “Wow. So I was really outrunning you. I just assumed… you were so good at everything else…”

  “I’ve got a lot of strength,” Isaac said. “You were always the one with the stamina.”

  “Please assume that if I could wiggle my eyebrows without looking like an idiot, I’d be doing it right now.”

  Isaac snorted. “Hey, I’ve got enough stamina where it counts. You surprised me last night, actually. Last time I asked you to dance…”

  “Was at prom, when you felt sorry for me because I was alone,” Julian finished for him.

  “Well… yeah, but I wouldn’t have minded. Kinda hurt when you flat out refused.”

  “Really?” Julian raised an eyebrow.

  “Really,” Isaac confirmed, suddenly feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. He’d never mentioned it to Julian, but he’d remembered it last night when he’d seen Julian enjoying himself.

  He’d gotten a glimpse into a side of his best friend that he’d never seen before. That he’d never been allowed to see before.

  Or maybe that he hadn’t cared enough about to ask.

  Isaac was still unpacking everything he’d thought and felt last night. Dancing with Julian had been fun. Having all eyes on him had definitely been fun.

  “Huh,” Julian said after a moment. “Well, I’m sorry. I never intended to hurt you. Did last night make up for it a little?”

  Isaac chuckled. “I’m gonna argue that it was way better than an awkward slow dance to the greatest hits of the nineties. I just never took you for the type.”

  “Something I learned early was that being able to at least approximate dancing was a good way to get laid. And I like getting laid.” Julian shrugged.

  “So much for the meek and mild kid I knew in high school,” Isaac said, but he couldn’t stop himself smiling fondly. They’d both grown up since then. He liked the way Julian had turned out, even if they hadn’t spoken a whole lot in the intervening years.

  Julian had never once forgotten his birthday, though. He’d always sent a card. And Isaac had kept them.

  He’d tried to remember Julian’s, but Julian was a summer baby, smack in the middle of the professional tennis season, and that meant he’d forgotten once or twice.

  If Julian had noticed, he’d never said anything.

  In some ways, getting in touch with him again was like meeting a new person, but the comfort of being with his best friend was still firmly there.

  “I wanted to thank you,” Isaac said. “For taking me out last night. I actually… had a lot of fun.”

  “I hate to say this, but I actually think I’m getting a little old for that kind of fun.”

  Isaac raised an eyebrow. “You’re turning twenty-seven this year,” he said.

  “I know,” Julian said. “That’s why I hate to say it. Not that I didn’t have fun, too. I’m just… suffering for it today.”

  “Poor baby,” Isaac teased.

  Julian poked his tongue out at him, so he couldn’t have been feeling too bad. Isaac got the impression that Julian was just generally exhausted these days.

  Maybe he could help with that.

  Not that he had any idea where to start. Generally, people tended to find him exhausting. Maybe he was making it worse for Julian.

  Julian would have said something, though. He was here voluntarily, and until he said otherwise, there was no point in trying to make decisions for him. He’d only get mad if Isaac started doing that.

  “I’m glad you had fun,” Julian said eventually.

  “Did you see the way everyone was looking at me?” Isaac asked. He was still glowing from that.

  “Hard to miss,” Julian sipped at the water in front of him, but he looked like he could really use that coffee.

  “I could get used to that.” Isaac grinned.

  “You, uh…” Julian cleared his throat. “You know you’re already kind of a gay sex symbol, right? I mean, before all this.”

  Isaac hadn’t known that at all. It’d never even occurred to him to wonder before now.

  “Huh,” he said, unsure what to think about that.

  It wasn’t the worst thing. He’d liked the attention, and it definitely worked with what he was trying to do, here.

  He’d woken up to a dozen excited people asking if they’d seen him out last night, all of them congratulating him on coming out.

  It was… nice. Nice to feel wanted for once, to feel as though he was part of a community.

  If all he had to do was go out to gay bars every now and then, hang out with people who were a lot more like him than he’d expected…

  Right now, that felt worth it.

  And he’d gotten to see Julian having fun, too. That was awesome.

  “I guess people thinking you’re hot is always nice,” he said after a moment. “I really didn’t mind them looking at me.”

  Julian rolled his eyes. “Your vanity is one of your most attractive qualities.”

  “Something about the way you say that makes you sound like you’re not being sincere,” Isaac teased, faking a dramatic pout.

  “This is what I’m like in the morning,” Julian said. “I think the best description I’ve heard is caustic.”

  “That’s too much of a vocabulary word for this hour,” Isaac said, though he did actually know what caustic meant. He was just in the habit of playing dumb.

  It wasn’t a fair description of Julian. He was a little sarcastic at best. It was cute.

  The waitress came back with breakfast, and Isaac’s stomach rumbled as soon as the smell of bacon hit him. He grabbed the knife and fork eagerly and started in, making happy sounds as he chewed and swallowed.

  His fingers brushed against Julian’s as they both reached for the maple syrup, but he let it go to Julian first and started on his eggs while he waited for Julian to pass it back.

  A few minutes of silence passed while Isaac took the edge off his hunger and Julian… picked at his pancakes in delicate bites.

  “Are you sick?” Isaac asked, suddenly concerned.

  Julian raised an eyebrow.

  “You’re not eating,” Isaac said, gesturing to Julian’s plate with his fork.

  “I’m eating,” Julian defended. “Just not as quickly as you are. Some of us don’t burn a million calories a day.”

  Isaac hummed, accepting that Julian probably wasn’t as hungry as he was.

  “So, uh…” Isaac began between mouthfuls. “I was thinking, I’m going back to training full-time on Monday, but… I’d like someone to warm up with tomorrow, maybe, if you’re free?”

  “You wanna play tennis with me?” Julian asked, apparently suspicious.

  “You know how to play,” Isaac said. “I’ll go easy on you, obviously. I just… thought it’d be fun. And I’m realizing how much I missed you, and I just… wanna hang out, I guess.”

  Julian hummed, taking another small bite of his pancakes. “As long as you’re not expecting much.”

  “Just for you to show up,” Isaac promised, shoveling the last mouthful of pancake into his mouth and sitting back with a happy sigh.

  “Showing up sounds doable,” Julian agreed. “Text me the time and place later. I don’t have to wear shorts, do I?”

  “No, no shorts required. Even I don’t wear shorts unless I have to.”

  Julian smiled at that, pushing his plate away with three-quarters of a pancake left.

  Isaac glanced between him and the plate a few times, then decided that if he didn’t ask…

  “You gonna eat that?”

  Julian snorted. “All yours,” he said.

  Isaac picked the remainder of Julian’s breakfast up with his fork and put it on his own plate, more than happy not to see it go to waste. “Mom would kill me if she found out I ate half your breakfast. She wants you to come to dinner, by the way.”
>
  “I’d like to see your mom,” Julian said.

  That wasn’t a surprise. Julian’s own parents hadn’t exactly kicked him out when he’d come out, but they hadn’t been happy, either, let alone supportive. Isaac’s mom had been quick to take Julian under her wing, inviting him over for dinner and sleepovers until he practically lived with them and only went home to grab different clothes.

  As awful as having his parents reject him must have been for Julian, those were some of the happiest days of Isaac’s life. He’d had his best friend close by all the time.

  This week had reminded him how good that felt. When this was all over, he didn’t plan on losing touch with Julian again.

  “I’ll let her know. You tell me when you’re free for dinner, and we’ll all go over there.”

  “She still living in the old house?”

  Isaac nodded. “Yeah. I wanted her to move to the city, planned on buying her a nice apartment, but she won’t budge. Said she wants a yard for her grandkids to play in.”

  Julian chuckled. “I could see you with a kid. I feel like you’d get along.”

  “I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment,” Isaac said, unable to stop himself from grinning.

  Yeah, this whole hanging out with Julian thing was awesome.

  Chapter Eight

  The fact that Isaac could make sweatpants and an old t-shirt look good was about the most unfair thing ever, as far as Julian was concerned.

  Especially since he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, and not in the sexy, effortless way Isaac managed it.

  He always looked ridiculous in a t-shirt, his arms practically noodles compared to Isaac’s. Generally, Julian didn’t get self-conscious, but right now…

  Isaac looked like he belonged here, and Julian definitely looked like he didn’t. There was no getting around it, and he was starting to worry that other people would know he had no business squaring off against a man ranked fourteenth in the world at this.

  But he couldn’t have refused Isaac. Not when he’d looked so excited about the idea, not when he’d told Julian how much he was enjoying hanging out.