The Wedding

by Julie Garwood

  She regarded him gravely while she gathered her courage and then slowly removed her nightgown. She kept her gaze on Connor all the while, searching for a hint of displeasure or disgust because her body was so terribly imperfect. She was fully aware of her flaws. Her breasts were too large, her hips too narrow, and her legs were too long for the rest of her body. He was bound to notice, she knew, and if he so much as frowned with displeasure, she thought she would close her eyes and die of shame.

  He took his time looking at her. His gaze lingered on her parted lips, her full breasts, her narrow waist, the blond curls shielding her virginity, her long legs, all the while trying to remember how to draw a breath. Dear God, he hadn’t expected such beauty. He was overwhelmed by her, for he had never imagined such a woman could exist, and if he weren’t a practical man, he would have thought she wasn’t English at all but a goddess sent down from heaven to reward him for the vengeance he had sought in his sainted father’s name.

  He was fast becoming desperate to take her into his arms and plant himself firmly inside her. He didn’t give in to his body’s demands yet, but stood where he was and let her take the lead once again. For some reason he didn’t understand, she had gotten it into her head that she should be the one making the decisions tonight. He had come to this startling conclusion when he had hesitated instead of ordering her to remove her clothes and be damned quick about it. He had shaken his head at her to let her know he didn’t care for her decision to keep her clothes on, but before he could explain exactly what he wanted her to do, she changed her mind.

  And he got exactly what he wanted.

  The blush covering her face reflected her embarrassment. She was trying to look defiant and not afraid, but she was worried. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she stood as straight and rigid as a spear, and in her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. Oh, yes, she really was perfect.

  She must have believed he would become the aggressor now, and when he didn’t reach for her, she slowly began to relax.

  Why didn’t he take off his clothes? She worried about that for a full minute before deciding to offer her assistance.

  “I had thought you would remove your own clothes, but then I considered you might want me to assist you. Sometimes wives in England help their husbands disrobe.”

  She was obviously making it all up as she went along. If it helped relieve her fear, he didn’t mind.

  “Do you want me to undress you, Connor?”

  He considered answering her, then decided what had worked before would work again, and so he simply nodded agreement.

  She took another shaky breath, no doubt bracing herself for what she thought she would find, before she finally gathered enough gumption to reach for his belt. Her toes, as weightless as a butterfly’s wings, brushed over his, and the second the knot was undone and his plaid began to drop to the ground, she took a quick step back.

  He wasn’t wearing any underclothes. She noticed that right away, God help her for being foolish enough to look, and she deliberately turned her attention to his chin until her heart calmed down. She’d only taken a glimpse below his waist before she forced herself to look away. It was still more than enough to make her want to run all the way back to England.

  “Connor, are you certain this will work?”

  The bewilderment in her voice amused him. God, she was innocent. And young.

  He gently pulled her into his arms and held her tight against him. His head dropped down to the top of her head. “Yes,” he promised.

  He was a little surprised he could speak at all. The feel of her soft breasts pressed against his chest demanded his full attention, and honest to God, he was beginning to believe the unbearable wait had been worth the trouble.

  He couldn’t wait any longer though. Neither his body nor his mind would allow another minute to pass without fulfilling all of his urges.

  Connor had fully expected to be surprised again, and that he was, because once he’d convinced her to quit hiding in the crook of his neck and tilt her head up toward him, she let him kiss her. She didn’t know what she was doing, of course. Her lips were closed tight against his, but with his gentle coaxing, she began to relax. Then he told her what he wanted her to do. She didn’t fight him, just gave him a look that suggested she thought he was out of his mind to want her to do such a thing, and after he’d repeated his demand, she finally conceded to him and opened her mouth.

  And then he kissed her the way he’d imagined he would from the moment he’d first seen her today. His tongue quickly moved inside her sweet warmth to stroke and explore. It was much, much better than what he’d imagined it would be. God, how he liked kissing her this way.

  She liked it too. She wound her arms around his neck and began to stroke him, timidly at first, then far more boldly, until she seemed as eager as he was to experience more of the erotic pleasure.

  Finally, she began to whimper low in her throat and move restlessly against him.

  The temptation proved to be his undoing. He wanted to take her that very moment, and it took all he had to control his own response. He’d scare the hell out of her if he thrust inside her now, hurt her far more than was necessary too, because she still wasn’t ready for him. She would be, he promised himself, even if the agony of slowing down killed him.

  He was being very deliberate now. He kept up his tender assault on her senses, determined to make it impossible for her to think about what was going to come. Only when she conceded to the demands building inside her would she be able to welcome his invasion without too much discomfort. He tried to overwhelm her, to flood her senses with his touch, his taste, his scent. His mouth assaulted hers again and again, until his own desperation to be inside her overrode all other considerations. His control slipped further away with each kiss they shared, each little moan she gave.

  He was aroused to a fevered pitch. He didn’t give her time to protest, but kept her fully occupied with his kisses while he lifted her into his arms and moved to their bed. He tried to be gentle with her, at least he thought he tried, even remembered to brace his weight with his arms so he wouldn’t crush her as he came down on top of her. His body covered every inch of hers, and God, she smelled so damned good and felt so incredibly right in his arms. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaled her wonderful scent, and let out a loud groan of sheer ecstasy.

  She was overwhelmed by what was happening to her. She had expected it would all be over and done with by now and she would be in terrible pain. She hadn’t expected to like it or crave all the glorious sensations coursing through her body. Yet she yearned for even more from him, and how was that possible? She didn’t know if she was pleasing him—she hoped she was—and she wanted to ask him to tell her what he wanted her to do, so he would also be shaking from her caresses the way she shook from his.

  Once his hard body came down on top of hers, thinking became too complicated. He was whispering hot, sensual words close to her ear, which only made the yearning deep inside her more demanding.

  His hands were everywhere. She shouldn’t let him touch her breasts, meant to tell him to stop, even as she arched up against him in silent demand for more and more and more.

  She tried to stop him when his hand moved between her thighs. He wouldn’t be stopped though. It was much too late for that. He needed to know if she was ready for him, God help him if she wasn’t, and as soon as he felt the wet opening he most wanted to invade, the demands of his body took over.

  He tried to make his invasion swift. He moved between her thighs and thrust deep with one powerful surge. She cried out in agony, and the sound echoed through the pines. Only when he was completely surrounded by her tightness did he force himself to stop and allow her time to get past the pain. He couldn’t suppress his groan of male satisfaction, or was it a shout? He was too shaken by her to know exactly what he was doing now. He could only feel, and dear God, this had to be heaven, so perfect was each sensation. And new. For the first time
since he’d begun to take women to his bed, he found he was consumed by passion.

  She was consumed by pain. She struggled against him and demanded that he stop at once, crying all the while, but then he let out a shout and went completely still, and she wasn’t certain if he was angry or as disappointed as she was.

  Connor finally realized she was crying. He immediately stopped and tried to calm her. “It’s going to be all right. The pain will leave.”

  “How do you know it will leave?”

  “I know.”

  He sounded terribly certain. She decided to believe him, admitting that even now the throbbing wasn’t quite as intense. She still didn’t like it much, though, and hoped it would all be over and done with soon. She was about to ask him to please hurry up, but then he kissed her again and she was suddenly more interested in kissing him back than talking.

  He continued to stroke her and kiss her until he felt her relax her grip on him.

  Then he was moving, though slowly at first, vowing he would end it if she asked him to, even if it killed him. Yet instead of fighting him or making impossible demands, she put her arms around his neck once again.

  He wanted more than her acceptance, however, because he’d felt her passion before he’d hurt her, and he craved to feel it again. In between hot kisses, he whispered sensual promises and praise, most of which didn’t make any sense at all, but she didn’t seem to notice or mind. His patience was blessedly rewarded when she began to move against him.

  Connor braced his weight with his arms and lifted up to look into her eyes. There were tears there, yet there was passion as well, wasn’t there? God, he hoped so. He didn’t want to keep on hurting her, vowed once again to end it quickly with one hard push to give her his seed if her pain persisted, even as he wondered how he would ever find enough discipline to leave her now.

  “Should I stop?” His voice was rough with emotion.

  He sounded angry. She looked at his face and saw that his jaw was clenched tight, and there were beads of perspiration on his forehead. Had she done something wrong? She could barely think about it, the throbbing inside was insistent now, yet surprisingly pleasant. She shifted beneath him, drew her knees up just a little to bring him deeper inside her, and felt a burst that was far better than simply pleasant. She couldn’t stop herself from moving once again.

  He let out a low groan. “Have I made you angry?” she whispered.

  He shook his head before repeating his question. “Do you want me to end it?”

  “No,” she said.

  He slowly withdrew, smiling because she instinctively tightened her legs around him, trying to keep him inside, and then he pushed forward again, all the while watching her expression for the first sign of discomfort.

  She squeezed her eyes shut, let out a sweet moan, and ordered him to do just that once again.

  It was all the encouragement he needed. He moved again and again, more forcefully with each thrust, and oh, how he loved the way she clung to him and made those erotic sounds in the back of her throat.

  He still believed he was the one in control. He knew exactly what would happen to her; she would concede everything to him soon, her body, her mind, and her heart. Her orgasm would consume her, and as she was in the midst of her climax, he would give her his seed.

  He would be well served, of course. And satisfied. Just as he had always been.

  He continued his pace until she was writhing in his arms. Her hips were forcefully arching up to quicken his pace, and then he became even more demanding.

  She let him know how much she liked what he was doing by scoring his back with her nails and crying out with pleasure.

  “Oh, God.”

  “Nay, lass. Connor.”

  She didn’t understand what he was saying to her because the hot sensations overwhelming her senses were so excruciatingly wonderful; she wanted to tell him so, but her voice got lost in her cries for more.

  Her need fed his own. She suddenly became the aggressor, not he, stroking and caressing, touching him in ways he’d never been touched before.

  She drew him down for a long, wet, open-mouth kiss, wild now, uncontrolled with her demand, forcing him with her uninhibited response to give her everything, and he was powerless to stop what was happening to him. Her passion ignited his own, and even that part of his mind he had always held back, he willingly gave to her.

  His world came apart. He thrust deep, hard, over and over again, his movements uncontrolled now, for he was overwhelmed by her, and with one last surge forward, he poured his seed into her, shouting her name, over and over again, in acceptance and surrender. In that instant when their hearts seemed to beat as one, and their souls felt as though they were entwined, she found her own fulfillment.

  She clung to her husband as though her life depended upon it, terrified by what was happening to her, and then she heard him call her name, felt him tighten, and she suddenly stopped fighting her own surrender. Tremor after tremor of ecstasy poured over her, yet all the while Connor was there with her, holding her tight, telling her it was all right by simply chanting her name.

  Her climax seemed to last forever, yet it was over all too soon. Weeping softly against his shoulder because it had been so incredibly beautiful, she felt exhausted, replete, and very proud of herself.

  It took her several minutes to stop shaking and draw a proper breath. Connor, she noticed, was still taking deep, shuddering breaths. The entire experience had been far more demanding for him than for her, she thought, before realizing she was still taking gasping breaths too.

  He continued to hold her until she began to relax in his arms and her legs dropped down to his sides; then he tried to leave her by rolling over on his side. She wouldn’t let go of him. He thought about moving her arms away so he could get up, because he knew he needed time alone to figure out what had just happened to him, but then he felt her tears on his skin and decided to wait another minute or two.

  He’d hurt her, yes, of course he had. She’d been a virgin, and it was inevitable that she would have difficulty accepting him, but once she had adjusted, had he continued to hurt her? Hell, he’d been rough with her all right; he should have been able to control himself, and if she hadn’t been so hot and tight, he probably would have. What had she expected? She’d given herself wholeheartedly to him.

  She’d been perfect. Connor suddenly realized what he was doing and had to shake his head over his own thoughts. What was wrong with him? Now he was trying to blame her for taking away his discipline and trying to claim his heart, God help him, when he had willingly given both to her.

  He really needed time to recover. She wasn’t going to let go of him, though, and so he decided he would have to wait until tomorrow to figure it all out. Perhaps by then he would have reclaimed some of his control. He’d given her that too. No wonder he felt so vulnerable now, and if that wasn’t disgusting, he didn’t know what was. His strength was gone, and he was suddenly too exhausted to think about anything important. He inhaled her wonderful feminine scent, found it mingled with his own, and if he didn’t force himself to go to sleep soon, he knew he was going to get hard again and hurt her all over.

  She didn’t want to sleep just yet. She wanted a tender word from him so she would know he’d been pleased with her. She needed his assurance now, and only when his breathing became deep and even did she realize she wasn’t going to get it.

  She moved away from him, sat up, and nudged him. He didn’t even open his eyes.

  She didn’t want to give up. The pride she’d felt just minutes ago was quickly fading, and damn it all, she wanted to keep on feeling wonderful about what had happened, not sorry. Didn’t he understand she needed praise and comfort to give her the reassurance she ached for?

  No, of course he didn’t know. The insensitive bear didn’t even know what comfort was.

  She decided to give him one last chance to redeem himself and poked him hard in his shoulder. She’d already made up her mind tha
t as soon as he opened his eyes, she would bluntly ask him if he had been as pleased with her as she’d been with him. He’d tell her yes, of course, and she’d finally be content.

  Connor still didn’t open his eyes, but he did move. He rolled over, away from her.

  She saw the damage she’d done to him and thought her heart might stop beating then and there. Bright red marks streaked his broad shoulders and back. She hadn’t drawn blood with her nails, but the marks were vivid enough to make her think it would take a long while for them to fade away.

  How could she have done such a thing? She’d acted like a wild animal, and not at all like the well-bred lady she’d been raised to be. No wonder Connor was ignoring her. He had to be disappointed in her. In truth, she couldn’t blame him.

  She didn’t know how she was ever going to face him again. She was going to have to, of course, unless she died of embarrassment before morning.

  First things first, she told herself. She would go back to the water, wash his scent away, and get dressed.

  She felt better because she had something to do. She tried not to make any noise, though she was pretty certain she could step all over him and he would continue to sleep. The second she moved, she grimaced in pain. She paused to glare at Connor, because he was responsible for her discomfort, then reached for the plaid he’d given her. She saw the spots of blood on the wool right away. She didn’t panic, and in fact wasn’t even surprised, because her mother had told her there would be blood, and pain, but the dear woman had exaggerated about it all being over and done with as quick as a blink. Brenna had to admit that some of her discomfort was her own fault. Her mother had also instructed her to stay perfectly still throughout the ordeal, promising that if she did, it wouldn’t be so terrible after all, and Brenna hadn’t stayed still, now had she? When would she start listening to her elders?

  Still, it hadn’t been that horrible. She admitted the truth on her way back to the water. She continued to fret while she washed every spot of skin he’d touched, which meant taking another full bath, because he’d touched her everywhere, and then she got dressed. She was thankful she’d left her clothes on the bank, especially her undergarments. Yawning now from sheer fatigue, she folded his plaid into a square with the intention of giving it back to him in the morning, then put on a clean, ivory, ankle-length chainse and covered it up with her dark, midnight blue bliaut.