The Wedding

by Julie Garwood

  “I’m pathetic,” she muttered in disgust.

  She removed a wooden necklace from inside her right shoe, where she’d carefully hidden it, and held it gently in her hand, treating it with as much care as she would a king’s crown of jewels. The round wooden medallion was a gift from her father, and though it wasn’t valuable by a thief’s measure, which was exactly why her father had had it made out of wood, it was more precious and valuable to her than anything else she owned because of what the disk represented. Her father had had the wooden medallions made for all of his children, even his sons, and each one of the disks had a different design etched into the wood. Brenna’s was the outline of the sun. All of her sisters and brothers recognized each other’s designs, her father had insisted they memorize them, and when he had given Brenna her medallion, he gave her the same instructions he’d given the others. If she was ever in trouble, she need only send the medallion to one of her brothers or sisters and he or she would immediately come to her assistance. Their loyalty was to one another, he’d explained, first and always, and her father wanted to make certain that after he and her mother had passed on, their children would look out for one another.

  Brenna admitted, though only to herself, that she had a tendency to become preoccupied and misplace her possessions, and for that reason she always put the medallion in her shoe at night. She wouldn’t dare be careless with her father’s dear gift.

  Holding the link to her family made her ache to be with them again. Suddenly it all became too much to bear, and she began to sob with heartache and loneliness. Although she tried, she couldn’t make herself stop. She sat down on the slope, giving in to what she considered the inevitable after the hellish day she’d had, and stared at her treasure until her tears were spent. The precious lifeline to her family was secured by a leather necklace. She made certain it was knotted securely before slipping it around her neck and tucking it under her clothing. It rested between her breasts, directly over her heart, exactly where it belonged.

  Much to her surprise, weeping had proved to be a healing balm, and though she found it quite peculiar, she actually felt better by the time she was finished. She was also able to look at her situation with more practicality and less emotion. The wooden disk represented her past, but Connor was part of her future now, wasn’t he?

  She should probably learn to be loyal to him, shouldn’t she? Love wasn’t all that important, was it? Her mother certainly hadn’t thought so. Why, she hadn’t truly loved their father for years and years. Eventually, her heart did soften to his hard ways, and the two of them certainly got along well enough.

  Connor had already proven he would treat her kindly. The way he’d touched her, with such care and tenderness, was evidence enough. His hands fit the rest of him, she thought. They were big, callused, hard, strong, yet he’d been so very gentle when he’d caressed her.

  The memory made her sigh. It was promptly followed by a loud yawn. She didn’t want to avoid Connor any longer. She needed sleep and his warmth now. The tender words of assurance would have to wait until the obtuse man finally realized what a valuable asset she was. She was going to have to prove herself to him, of course, but she was up to the challenge, and God willing, she would be a good wife and mother.

  She stood up when she heard Connor. He barely made any noise at all, but it was still quite enough for her to recognize where the sound was coming from. She hurriedly wiped her face dry of any remaining tears, straightened her appearance as best she could without her brush and mirror, and then started toward him.

  He stopped when he reached the break in the trees. He didn’t dare get any closer to her just yet, because the urge to take her into his arms and make love to her again needed to be controlled first, then discarded, before he took another step. He couldn’t force himself to stop thinking about it, though. He’d tell her it had been damned inconsiderate of her to stay away from his bed for such a long while, of course, probably just a scant second before his mouth devoured hers so she couldn’t start arguing with him again. He loved the way she’d tasted, the way she’d felt.

  God, but she was pretty. He couldn’t seem to get past the revelation. It wasn’t simply her appearance he found himself drawn to like a besotted boy. No, it was far more than that. She was such a sensual woman. The graceful way she moved, the warmth in her welcoming smile, the delicate look of her, all appealed to him, but what captivated him most was the air of dignity and strength in her bearing. She made him believe she fully understood the power she would wield as his wife.

  And if he ever weakened, would she wield that power over him? The thought made him frown.

  The longer she stared at him, the faster her heart beat, so overwhelmed was she by the sheer beauty before her. Connor was almost completely shrouded in the thick mist gathered in the trees. She was suddenly reminded of the giants of ancient times her father had told her bedtime stories about, and surely Connor was every bit as magnificent as his ancestors were, perhaps even more so. There wasn’t a fold of fat anywhere. She understood why he radiated such strength and power now. The splay of muscles in his upper arms and thighs was evidence enough. Muscles rolled under skin that glistened when he put his hand out to her.

  She immediately walked forward and placed her hand in his. “I thought you were sleeping,” she whispered.

  “I cannot rest until you do.”

  “Why is that, Connor?”

  He liked the way she said his name in such a familiar, intimate way. God, he was weary tonight. He had to be exhausted to be thinking about such foolishness now.

  “I’m responsible for you, that’s why. What were you doing? You were gone a long time.”

  He knew exactly what she’d been doing, of course, the proof of her weeping still lingered in her eyes, and the only reason he’d asked the question was to see if she would admit her weakness to him.

  “I was crying like a baby. Why does that amuse you?”

  “I smiled because you told me the truth.”

  “I always try to tell the truth. Lies become too complicated. Do you always walk around without any clothes on?”

  She sounded worried about the possibility. “Only when I’m chasing after inconsiderate wives,” he answered.

  He didn’t mean to sound surly. She didn’t seem to notice, however. Her mind was somewhere else. He wasn’t left guessing what she was thinking about.

  “Why did you marry me?”

  “I’ll explain tomorrow.”

  He started to turn, intending to drag her back to the bed, but she stopped him by tugging on his hand.

  “You promised me you would explain directly after our marriage was blessed. You don’t believe I’ll like hearing the truth, do you? Could that be the reason you’re putting it off?”

  “Come back to bed. Then I’ll explain.”

  “You’ll only fall asleep before . . .” She stopped trying to explain when he lifted her up into his arms. His skin was so wonderfully warm, she wanted to press herself against him. She didn’t give in to the temptation though, but put her arms around his neck and stared directly into his eyes.

  “Why were you weeping?”

  “I was thinking about my family.”

  “I’m your family now.”

  The gruffness in his voice actually comforted her, and she knew she had to be exhausted to have such a strange reaction. She hadn’t wanted to tell him her worry, but heaven help her, the way he stared at her made her want to blurt out every little concern she had.

  “I disappointed you,” she whispered.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “You didn’t disappoint me.”

  She waited for him to explain. He didn’t say another word, which really shouldn’t have surprised her, as she already had noticed he wasn’t one to embellish any of his remarks. The flaw obviously extended to compliments as well. She was feeling inordinately pleased with herself now, and all because she hadn’t disappointed him.

  Oh, yes
, she was weary tonight. It had been a long, difficult day, after all, and that was why she was being so emotional.

  He carried her back to his blankets and set her on her feet again. When she tried to turn away from him, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her long and hard.

  Her knees went weak, and when he let go of her she gracefully collapsed to the bed.

  She regained her strength a minute later. After he’d stretched out on the blankets, she tried to kneel over him. He was having none of that. He pulled her down beside him, forced her back up against his chest, and wrapped his arms around her.

  He wasn’t about to let go of her. He knew she hadn’t forgotten his promise to tell her exactly why he’d married her, and he wasn’t at all certain how she would react to hearing a few of his reasons. He didn’t want to have to get up and chase after her again. Women, he had learned, could be peculiar about matters that really shouldn’t concern them. They tended to get their feelings injured quite easily; at least Alex’s wife, Jamie, did. Brenna seemed to be even more emotional. Not only did she appear to get her feelings injured, she also insisted on telling Connor about it. The fact that she’d told him she believed she’d disappointed him was proof enough.

  He was astounded she’d needed his reassurance. She hadn’t tried to hide her vulnerability at all.

  Yes, she astounded him all right, and pleased him more than he could ever have thought possible.

  “Connor, you were going to tell me . . .”

  “I wanted sons.”

  “And daughters,” she reminded him.

  “And daughters,” he agreed. “I told you my reason earlier.”

  She tried to turn so she could look at him, but he tightened his hold on her, making movement impossible.

  She gave up trying. She rested the side of her face on his upper arm, smiling because it felt so hard and warm against her cheek, then yawned loudly.

  “But why did you marry me? You could have married any woman from the Highlands.”

  “You asked me.”

  “Please don’t use that excuse. We both know you would never have held a child to her word.”

  “No, I wouldn’t.”

  “Do you remember any of it? Surely you . . .”

  He remembered every detail of the meeting with her father, of course. “Are you going to keep me awake all night?” he asked, irritably.

  “No, of course not. I didn’t mean to stray from the topic. I’m concerned your reason for marrying me has something to do with my father. Is that true?”

  “No,” he answered. “My feud is with MacNare. He went after Quinlan’s family. He burned their home, destroyed their crops, and killed their stock. He wanted their land to add to his own. I had only just heard about this atrocity when another one of my followers came to me with a similar outrage to report.”

  “And because your men are loyal to you, you went to war on their behalf.”

  “Yes.”

  “There had to be another reason as well, for surely others have come to you in the past with stories of mistreatment. If you married each time, you’d have ten wives by now.”

  “I have another reason, but I don’t wish to discuss it now.”

  “Someday will you explain?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right then. Will you explain what our marriage has to do with your war?”

  “It’s simple, Brenna. MacNare wanted you.”

  “And so you took me away from him. Why didn’t you just kill me?”

  “I don’t kill women.”

  “I didn’t mean to insult you. You tell me you don’t kill women, but you have no concerns about using them, do you?”

  “When it’s necessary.”

  “Why didn’t you simply continue to war against him? Were your losses too substantial?”

  “If a Highlander has vengeance in his heart, no loss is substantial. I was fortunate though. There were injuries, but none of my own died. My brother ordered me to end the feud. Alec has become what some would call a mediator in our land, and he has the power behind him to force others to do what he considers just. Marrying you was my last . . .”

  “Insult?”

  “It is, only if you choose to think it is.”

  “What would you consider an insult then?”

  “Destroying a man’s crops, killing good horses. Those are insults. Killing a soldier is a much more grievous matter. I think perhaps you place too much value on marriage. You think like a woman.”

  “I would never have gone to such lengths.”

  “I’m my father’s son. I am also a practical man.”

  He had told her the truth, God help her for asking him to, and she suddenly felt like weeping again.

  She tried to be practical about it all and told herself it could have been worse. She couldn’t imagine how, of course. She didn’t like being used. No woman did. She didn’t think he would understand how she felt, though.

  “In future, I will learn how to become practical,” she whispered. Her voice shook, and she didn’t say another word for a long while because she knew she would start crying. She thought she’d rather die than let him know the damage he’d done to her hopes and dreams. She wasn’t going to let him hurt her again, and if being practical meant she must give up her feelings and her heart, then she would be more practical than he was.

  It didn’t take her long to realize how foolish she was being. She didn’t want to live without love, and that meant she was going to have to make Connor change his attitude, and how would she ever be able to do that?

  The task was disheartening and seemed to be as impossible as making it rain on a sunny day. She squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she realized how teary she was becoming and tried to concentrate on her night prayers in hopes the ritual would occupy her thoughts.

  Connor sought to close his mind against the hurt he’d just caused her so that ridiculous thoughts of guilt wouldn’t bother him. It wasn’t until he’d told her a fragment of the full truth that he realized how cold it made him sound to a woman as emotional as Brenna. She couldn’t possibly understand, and he wasn’t about to explain further.

  His hatred for MacNare was burning him hollow inside, and though he still hadn’t found any evidence to make him culpable in Donald MacAlister’s death, Connor still wanted to believe what his father had suspected, that MacNare and MacNare’s father, along with their relatives, had been involved in the planning of the attack on his home. He was determined to find the proof before he killed all those he suspected of participating in the slaughter, even if it took him long years to find the truth. Until then, he would have to be content with insignificant attacks meant solely to keep them enraged.

  Alec was making his duty more difficult, of course. His brother knew what Donald MacAlister had said before he died, and Alec had also tried to find proof of MacNare’s treachery. When he could find nothing, he decided that the suspicion was groundless. Now he wanted the strikes against the MacNare clan to stop. Connor knew he would have to accommodate his brother, but only for a while, until Alec became reasonable again. Gaining revenge wouldn’t be forgotten, and Connor’s hatred wouldn’t lessen, but intensify. He was, after all, his father’s son.

  “When did you make your decision to marry me?”

  Her question jarred him back to the present. “As soon as I heard MacNare was marrying one of Haynesworth’s daughters.”

  Would the insults never stop? “Then you didn’t even know that I was the one sent to MacNare? Dear God, you didn’t know, did you? The proposals had nothing to do with your decision. The jest’s on you, Connor. I wasn’t supposed to marry MacNare, Rachel was. She’s the pretty one,” she instinctively added.

  “Why didn’t she come?”

  “The king found out and put a stop to it. He wanted Rachel to marry a baron he favored.”

  “And so your father substituted you.”

  “Yes.”

  He was astonished by the way things were done in Englan
d and appalled that a father could treat his daughters with such casual disregard.

  “When did you find out you were going to marry him, Brenna?”

  “That isn’t important.”

  “Answer me.”

  “The day I left. Father told me what I was expected to do, and I took my leave a few hours later. It was wrong for you to make me think my proposals were why you came for me.”

  “It wasn’t wrong. It will prove convenient though.”

  “How?”

  “My brother,” he answered. “He will wish to hear my reasons for marrying you.”

  “And you plan only to tell him I proposed? But . . .”

  He interrupted her. “My brother will ask you if you did propose.”

  “And if I refuse to answer?”

  The thought was laughable. No man, let alone a woman, had ever refused Kincaid and lived long enough to tell of it. “You won’t,” he assured her.

  “You show me little compassion, Connor.”

  “Did your father show compassion when he substituted one daughter for another? Admit it, Brenna. His behavior was sinful, not mine. We don’t treat our daughters with such disrespect.”

  “Father had his reasons. I’m certain they were very important.”

  “Did your king grant his permission?”

  “There wasn’t time enough to gain his permission. I’m certain he will be pleased.”

  “I’m just as certain he won’t be pleased at all. Don’t rail against me or plague me with more questions, wife. I am your husband and your laird now, and you would do well to remember that. I saved you from a bleak future with a demon.”

  She was suddenly too furious with him to guard her words. “You have succeeded with your plan. No one will want me now. The very least you can do is let me go back home.”

  “Give me a son. Then you can go.”