I DON'T BELONG HERE

by Tayla Grossberg

  I shrugged, and my aunt handed me a warm teacup. “Then she guesses very well in deed.”

  Abigail must have noticed the tightness in my voice, because she said, “Forgive me. I just don’t believe in superstitions.”

  “That’s fine,” I said. “You get to choose what you want to believe.”

  Abigail nodded. “Absolutely. I choose to believe in working hard, earning money, and my family. I believe in things that I can see and touch.”

  I looked down. Just because one couldn’t see or touch something didn’t mean it wasn’t there. Juan couldn’t see or touch the Red-eyed Lady, but she was there. I couldn’t see or touch love, but it was there, and I could feel it. I didn’t want to voice my opinion because, if Abigail was anything like Mom, we’d get into an argument.

  “I can tell your opinion differs from mine,” Abigail said.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “I love my mother,” Abigail stated, “but don’t let her fill your mind with too much nonsense.”

  “Are you two close?” I asked.

  “No,” Abigail said. “Just like Andrea, I don’t have the best relationship, either. We were both much closer to our father.”

  “Why is that?”

  “He never scared us,” Abigail said. “May used to see things in the dark and tell us to be cautious. She moved us around from house to house. We grew up rather unstable.”

  “Don’t you think she had good reason for doing it?”

  “No, I think she is just a little unstable. Our family has a history of mental illness. Did you know that?”

  “I did not...” I shuddered.

  “Oh yes,” Abigail said. “We have had suicides in the family. We have had delusional and depressed people.”

  “Grandma May is none of those things.”

  “You are very loyal – to stand up for her like this.”

  “Go see for yourself,” I said. “She is doing well, and there is nothing wrong with her mind. She just gets very lonely.”

  “I know Dad’s death was hard on her. They were married for a very long time.”

  “I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose someone that you love.”

  I felt guilty for not visiting Grandma May more often. I felt sad when I realised I was the family member who visited her the most. It was as if everyone else had forgotten her.

  “It’s a horrible feeling,” Abigail said. “It’s a hole that never gets filled.”

  “Do you think you will feel the same way when Grandma May dies?”

  Abigail looked away, and a few seconds passed before she answered. “She has not been in my life for so long...”

  “Why not?”

  “We just argued a lot when I was younger.”

  “I’m sure she would love to spend time with Emma and Hanna. They are her grandkids, after all.”

  Abigail looked at me with a guilty expression. “She has never even met them.”

  “How come?”

  “I don’t want her to scare my children the way she scared us. I don’t want her filling their heads with ghosts and nonsense.”

  Emma or Hanna could be gifted. A child like that needed someone in their life who could also see ghosts. They needed someone who would understand. Grandma May was the perfect person for this.

  “Then why don’t you ask her not to do it?”

  “She only listens to herself.” Abigail sighed. “It’s sad, but it is what it is.”

  “I think you are making a mistake,” I said gently. “She loves you very much, and you are going to miss her when she is gone. She might not have been the best mother, but she is an outstanding grandmother. She bakes Juan and me cookies. She knits for us. She’s always there when we need someone to talk to.”

  Abigail gave me a sad smile. I should not say anything more. We started talking about Emma and Hanna. Abigail was passionate when it came to her family. She bragged about her children and spoke highly of her husband.

  When everyone returned from their hike, they were tired and hungry. They told me that I had missed out but failed to convince me. We all sat on the porch and played card games until the sun set.

  Abigail made delicious pizza for dinner, and I ate too much. Afterwards, we sat in front of the television. Lucas told Abigail that she had to buy a cover for the swimming pool so that he could close it. Apparently, the old one was broken.

  We relaxed in the living room where they had a fireplace that would be nice when the winter came. We watched a movie, and Abigail put the girls to bed before it was too late, then she turned the television’s volume down.

  When it was bedtime, everyone hugged each other goodnight and went to their rooms, tired from the long walk.

  Charlotte

  I was dreaming a beautiful dream. Dimitri was with me and we were sitting by the water on the pier. I was looking into his eyes, and he gazed into mine. He looked at me as if I was the only girl in the world. In this dream, his intentions were clear. I was not friend zoned. He would never friend zone me...I sat crossed legged and faced him. He had both of his hands on my legs and a goofy smile on his face. He leaned in.

  And then he pulled my legs!

  I was falling... I was falling! My eyes snapped open as I woke quickly. I had fallen off my bed and onto the floor – I had never done so before. I slowly got up and rubbed my sore shoulder – I had landed on it. I slowly climbed back in and pulled the covers over myself.

  Then an invisible hand grabbed my cover and pulled it off me in a quick, violent movement. I pulled my legs towards my chest and looked around the room. I did not see the Red-eyed Lady.

  “Where are you?” I managed to say.

  Be brave.

  My heart was beating frantically. Was the lady trying to hurt me? Could she hurt me?

  The Red-eyed Lady appeared – right beside me. Her face was inches away from mine and I looked into those bloodshot eyes.

  I could not help it – I fled. I did not want to take the lady to my family, so I ran downstairs. I looked back and noticed that the Red-eyed Lady was chasing me like a cat would a mouse.

  I wanted to run towards the kitchen, but the lady disappeared then reappeared right in front of me and blocked my way. My only other option was the living room. I did just that. Once I was in the living room, I noticed the open door. That was not normal. I then looked around but I could not see the Red-eyed Lady. What sadistic game was the ghost playing?

  I went to the door – with the intention of closing it. The pool’s light was on, and for a moment I thought I saw something in it. I was not wearing my glasses, thus I had to go closer to identify the object. My niece was at the bottom of the pool.

  “Help! Someone help!” I cried.

  I dived in and pulled the little girl’s limp body from the water. I laid her down, on her back, next to the pool.

  I had taken a medical aid course a year ago when I’d wanted to join the school’s first aid team. That required that I attended sports events. I quickly realised that I hated it, and quit. One good thing that came from the course was I knew how to give CPR, and I did my best to revive the girl.

  Abigail and Lucas were next on the scene – because their bedroom was the closest. Abigail began crying when she saw Hanna. She wanted to rush to her daughter, but Lucas stopped her.

  “Let Charlotte finish,” he said.

  I did not look at them. I focussed on my niece and only my niece.

  Juan, Ned, and Andrea arrived.

  “What’s going on?” Juan asked. “Oh no!”

  The next moment Hanna spat out water. I turned her on her side as the little girl coughed and coughed. When she stopped coughing, I leaned back.

  Her parents rushed forward and embraced her. I could not tell who was crying the loudest. I was shaking, but not crying with them. If I had panicked, if I had cried, I would never have been able to think clearly and save her.

  I was dripping wet, and the cold air made me shiver. Once Lucas and Abigail stopped embracing their
daughter, we went inside. Lucas gave me a towel that I wrapped around myself, and Andrea made something warm to drink. I went upstairs and dressed in warm, dry clothes, then met everyone in the living room. Abigail had changed Hanna’s wet clothes. Ned closed and locked the door that led to the pool while Andrea gave everyone their drinks.

  “What happened?” Ned asked.

  “I could not sleep and came downstairs. I wanted to make a drink, but I saw the door was open. I wanted to close it when I saw Hanna...”

  Of course, I was not going to tell them that I woke because a ghost had pulled me out of my bed. I was not going to tell them that I had run away from the ghost, and that was why I had ended up outside. They’d think I was crazy.

  “We must have forgotten to close the door.” Abigail looked at me with gratitude. “I don’t even have the words to thank you.”

  I was not the only one responsible for saving the little girl’s life. If the Red-eyed Lady had not chased me downstairs, I would never have found my niece. Was it a coincidence or had the ghost chased me here on purpose?

  “You are a heroine,” Lucas added. “Thank you so much.”

  Heroine. Like in my story books...

  “It was a scary coincidence,” I said.

  My hands were shaking. Juan reached out to hold me. It was comforting to have my sister there with me.

  “From now on we have to be more careful,” Abigail said. “This could have ruined us as a family.”

  “It just shows us how fast accidents happen,” Andrea said.

  Charlotte

  The next day, everyone was up early. No one had slept well and we all had bags under our eyes. We drank coffee together and decided it was time to go home. I did not have to pack – because I had never unpacked.

  Juan, Ned, and Andrea gathered their belonging while I played with Hanna, who had taken a liking to me. Abigail sat down on the sofa and watched us play, and I wondered if she was thinking about the swimming lessons she had mentioned earlier. It was certainly important that both of my nieces learn to swim as soon as possible. Abigail had a distant expression, and I tried to imagine how scared she had been when Hanna almost died.

  “I’m still shaking,” she mumbled.

  “As am I,” I said. “We got very lucky.”

  Hanna turned away from me so that she could search for another doll in her treasure chest. Abigail looked right into my eyes. “I don’t know if we simply got lucky. You’re a special girl, Charlotte, very open-minded and intuitive.”

  “That reminds me a bit of Grandma May,” I said.

  “My mother...” Abigail mumbled.

  Hanna found her doll and returned to me. She crawled onto my lap and began telling me why she favoured this doll.

  “It’s almost time to go!” Ned called.

  “Okay!” I replied.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Abigail dial a number. She held the phone to her ear for a while, which made me think that no one would answer, but then she said, “Hello, Mom.”

  My eyes widened, and I wondered if I had heard right. Had she really, after all this time, called Grandma? If so, I had something to do with this, and my heart swelled with pride.

  “Everything is fine,” Abigail said. “Listen, I think it is time you met your granddaughters, Emma and Hanna.”

  Chapter 18

  Charlotte

  I fell asleep in the car, and my mother woke me with a gentle voice once we were home. I almost fell when I got out of the car. Eyes half closed, I headed straight to my room and fell on my bed. Amore jumped onto it and began licking me.

  Ned brought my suitcase to my room, and when he saw me lying with my eyes closed, he threw the spare blanket, which rested at the foot of the bed, over me. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and closed the door as he left.

  I woke later that afternoon and went downstairs. On Sundays my family was lazy. We spent the days eating, lying around, and watching television.

  Andrea has made sandwiches and was carrying them to the living room. She bumped into me when I arrived downstairs, and almost dropped the plate.

  “I’m sorry, I did not see you!” she said.

  I rubbed my eyes. “That’s all right.”

  Ned was lying on the couch in front of the television, and Juan was most likely studying in her room. She was the only one in the household who studied on Sundays. She had to because she did not work enough during the week due to her friends and partying.

  Andrea sat down next to Ned and handed him a sandwich. “Are you hungry?” she asked me.

  “I’m too lazy to make food,” I said.

  Andrea offered me half of her sandwich which I accepted gratefully. It was peanut butter and jelly.

  “I think we should go away the weekend after Halloween,” Ned said.

  “But we just had a weekend away,” Andrea told him.

  “I know, but I want a weekend with just the four of us.”

  “Can we go to California?” I knew better than to ask, but I was still hoping that for once we could go on a holiday I’d actually enjoy.

  “No.” Ned laughed. “I was hoping for something closer. Somewhere where there will be horses and water.”

  “I’ll look into that,” Andrea said.

  I groaned. “This is not my idea of a fun weekend. Can I stay home?”

  My parents shot me an irritated look that suggested I had to come along.

  “You are a part of this family,” Ned said.

  “Not by choice,” I added. “When can we go on a vacation that I can enjoy?”

  “No one wants to go to a big, crowded, and dangerous city.” Andrea drummed her fingers on the armrest.

  “There are beautiful lights and there is always something to do. We can go on a tour or go and see a Broadway show.”

  “It’s not happening,” Ned told me in a tone much gentler than Andrea’s. “Feel free to suggest other places.”

  “I don’t know of any other places,” I mumbled. There were plenty of cities I’d like to visit – LA, Tampa, Denver. But there was no point in listing them, as my family would not listen to me.

  “You can look into it,” Ned told me.

  I groaned and turned to go to my room but my mother’s voice brought me back. “Charlotte, sit down, we need to talk about what happened this weekend.”

  I turned but didn’t take a seat, “What’s there to talk about?”

  “You saved Hanna’s life.”

  I might have felt brave or proud if I wasn’t so traumatised by the Red-eyed Lady. Up until now I had thought she was pure evil, so why had she led me to Hanna? Maybe she only wanted to punish me and not my family. But why had she pointed to Hanna when I asked her what she wanted?

  “Charlotte?” Ned asked, and I realised that I hadn’t said anything for a while.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

  “What were you thinking?” Andrea asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “You can tell me. You can tell me anything.”

  But I couldn’t. My whole life, they had never listened to me or taken me seriously, and I doubted they were going to start now.

  “I’m just tired and I want to go to my room.”

  Andrea sighed. “Okay.”

  I went up to my room where I lay on my bed and read for the rest of the day. It was a good distraction from all the supernatural things that had happened. My mother did not cook that night, and each of us ended up making dinner for ourselves. It was bedtime when Dimitri decided to climb through my open bedroom window. I was already in my night clothes and sitting on my bed. I smiled when I saw him.

  “Hey,” he said. “I did not know what time you would be home. If this is too late, I can leave.”

  I wondered if the sight of me in my nightclothes made him uncomfortable. They were baby pink and silky. The pants were a bit too long – I stepped on the ends. The button-up shirt had long sleeves, and I was obviously not wearing a bra.

/>   “You’ve been here at a later hour,” I said. “It’s nice to see you.”

  “It’s nice to see you, too.”

  His smile reached his eyes, and it was contagious.

  “How have you been?” I asked.

  I felt like our relationship was deeper than mundane questions with mundane answers. ‘How are you’ was not a mundane question to someone whose little brother was dying.

  Dimitri shrugged then sat down at my desk, and I wished he had chosen the bed instead. “I’m as good as I can be. Ethan is getting worse and worse. He is not moving around a lot, and I’m not sure how to take him trick or treating next weekend.”

  “I forgot that it is Halloween next weekend!” I said.

  “Do you have any plans?” Dimitri asked me.

  “I usually stay in,” I said.

  He gaped at me. “I would never have thought you are that boring.”

  I glared at him and defensively said, “I am not boring. For someone that sees ghosts Halloween is never a fun night.”

  Dimitri gazed into the distance, thinking. “Have you ever been in a haunted house?”

  “No.” I shrugged.

  I was a nervous enough person and never dared to go into one. I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what I saw. I was scared enough of real ghosts, and didn’t need to pay people to dress up and scare me even more.

  “Let’s do it this year,” Dimitri said. “Let’s dress up and have some fun!”

  “Fine, but you are not allowed to dress up too scary,” I told him. “You are most certainly not allowed to be a ghost.”

  “All right, I won’t be a ghost.”

  “I have not dressed up since I was a child,” I admitted.

  Every Halloween I carved pumpkins and stayed home to give candy to the children who knocked on our door. Juan was out every Halloween – each of her costumes was crazier than the last.

  “What was your favourite costume?”

  “A fairy princess dress,” I said with a smile.

  Dimitri laughed. “That defeats the point of Halloween!”

  “I loved that outfit,” I said. “If you want scary, go and talk to Juan. She often dresses up like a vampire or witch.”

  “I prefer talking to you.” Dimitri grinned, and his eyes danced over me.