The Deepest Breath

by Meg Grehan

Everything

  Feels

  Just right

  epilogue

  In school the next day

  When we’re taking off our coats and scarves and gloves and hats

  All of our armor against the snow

  Chloe bounces up to me

  With her hands behind her back

  And pink on her cheeks

  Maybe from the cold

  But maybe not

  I smile at her

  Because now that I know

  That what I feel is nice and good and

  Normal

  All I want to do

  Is smile at Chloe

  She smiles back

  Bigger than usual

  Like she has a secret

  And no plans to keep it to herself

  “Close your eyes and open your hands!”

  “What?”

  “Open your hands and close your eyes!”

  I do as she says

  And something soft touches my palms

  “Open your eyes”

  It’s an octopus

  A purple stuffed octopus

  Eight tentacles tickling my palms

  Big glassy eyes

  Staring up at me

  “I know you’re kind of afraid

  Of the sea

  And all the weird fish and stuff”

  For a second

  I’m embarrassed

  But only

  For a second

  “And I thought that this

  Might help

  His name is Sydney

  And I’m almost sure

  It’s impossible

  To be scared of him”

  I haven’t looked up at her yet

  I’m just staring at the octopus in my hands

  And trying to calm my heartbeat

  Which is thumping along

  So hard

  I think it must be trying to tell me something

  Heartbeat Morse code

  I think

  Probably

  It’s telling me to look up

  So I do

  And Chloe

  Looks nervous

  And proud

  And happy

  And something else too

  Something

  I think

  I recognize

  Something

  I think

  That I’ve been feeling too

  So I smile

  And I tell her

  I love it

  So, so much

  I tell her it’s my very favorite octopus

  That I’ve ever

  Ever seen

  And I take

  The deepest breath I’ve ever taken

  And I think of Susan and the book she gave me

  And my mum and all the teasing and chanting

  And how it made me blush in the best

  Warmest, most special way

  And I let it fill me up with bravery

  And I say

  “Maybe, if it’s OK with my mum

  And yours

  We could

  Maybe

  Go to the aquarium some time

  And see them

  For real?”

  And the idea terrifies me

  And lots of things terrify me

  But today

  Right now

  In this moment

  I feel so brave

  I feel

  So

  Brave

  the end

  Visit hmhbooks.com to find all of the books in the Vanderbeekers series.

  About the Author

  MEG GREHAN is a writer originally from County Louth, but she is now hiding away in Donegal in the northwest corner of Ireland with a very ginger girlfriend, an even more ginger dog, and an undisclosed number of cats (none of whom are ginger). She is currently a bookseller and likes cake and rain. In 2018, she won the Eilís Dillon Award from Children’s Books Ireland, and in 2020, The Deepest Breath won the Judges’ Special Award at the KPMG Children’s Books Ireland Awards.

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