How to Elude a Vampire (VRC: Vampire Related Crimes Book 2)

by Alice Winters

  “Yes.”

  I drop the blinds on his head again. “I don’t wanna.”

  “Please?”

  I pull up the blinds again. “But… it’s cold outside.” I snap a picture of him and put it in a group text between Marcus, Karsyn, Orin, Brooks, and Aria.

  Me: There’s a pervert trying to climb into my room. What do I do?

  Aria: He can climb through MY window.

  Karsyn: Pepper spray right to the face might get rid of him. Or pull his pants down. Maybe the sun will burn his bum.

  Aria: I didn’t know he was in the group text! Dammit, Finn! Now I look like a perv!

  Orin: And somehow he’s still too good for you.

  Brooks: He used to be this magnificent beast of a man. I used to look up at him with respect and now… just disappointment.

  Me: I love all of you.

  Me: Besides Orin. Orin, you’re just evil.

  Orin: Truth hurts sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

  “What… the fuck are you doing?” Marcus asks from where he’s still trying to free his shirt.

  I lower the blinds. “Shhh. I’m texting pictures of you to the others.”

  Marcus grabs the blinds and rips them off the wall before crushing them in his hand. “Excuse me?”

  “My blinds!”

  “Excuse me?”

  I mourn the destruction of the blinds before facing him. “It’s okay, babe, I included you in the text so you know all about us talking about you,” I assure him.

  “Fantastic,” he says sarcastically.

  I decide to go over to the window and look at what his shirt is stuck on. I pull it free of the nail and he drops down to the grass before smacking the screen back in place.

  “Next time, I’m going to eat you, you pesky little human.”

  I grin at him. “I look forward to it.”

  “Great,” he says before disappearing from my sight, probably deciding that doors are much more convenient.

  When I pull open the bedroom door, he’s standing there, so I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him to me.

  “You always know how to make my day better,” Marcus says as he hugs me back.

  And that’s when his phone dings. When he looks down at it, I notice that we have a new text from Karsyn.

  “Never mind. You’re pure evil,” he says.

  “Good. I like being evil together!”

  He sighs, but it doesn’t stop him from hugging me again.

  MARCUS

  As soon as I walk into work, I know something’s up. Everyone stops what they’re doing, turns to look at me, and snickers. Although it’s a nice reprieve from the sadness that settled over the office after Perez’s death, I’m still not positive I’m into this snickering.

  Before Finn, when I walked into the room, everyone would drop their eyes out of respect. They listened to me because they understood my power. Then this tiny little human came along and demolished all of that. He ruined it all just by using his smile and charismatic nature.

  “What?” I growl.

  The growling still works because everyone quickly returns to their desks. It doesn’t work on Karsyn and Finn who’ve become an annoying team that swear they dislike each other but clearly, they’ve become best buds and I hate it. Not because I’m jealous—I trust Finn—but because as a duo, they’re even worse than they are when they’re apart.

  “It’s so cute,” Karsyn says, but the way he speaks holds so much sarcasm that it makes me want to crush something.

  “What’s going on?” I’m almost scared to ask.

  Finn turns to me and gives me a huge smile that’s just dripping with lies. He’s going to say something filled with lies to try to fool me into believing he’s innocent. “Whatever do you mean, my one true love, my Prince Charming, the apple of my eye?”

  I growl at him, grab his rolling chair, and push him off into oblivion, which is about halfway across the room before it bumps into Brooks who’d been walking toward his office.

  “Church, don’t push your partner across the room just because of a picture,” Brooks says.

  “A picture?” I scowl. “Finn, what have you done?”

  “What have I done? I’ve done nothing!” he says as he scoots over to his computer. “Karsyn, graciously I might add, showed me this delightful post.”

  He pulls up his browser and I realize with horror he’s on the social media page for the dog adoption shelter. Karsyn and Brooks crowd around Finn’s chair as Finn scrolls down to the picture they’d taken of me that day I took Hela home. There I am, holding Hela. What’s so funny about it, I’m not sure.

  “Look at the anger on your face!” Karsyn cackles.

  Finn waves him off. “No! No! The best part is the way he’s holding her. Look at his hand around her neck! Who holds a puppy like that?”

  “She was squirming around, dammit!” I grumble.

  “My favorite part is the comments,” Brooks says as he reaches past Finn so he can scroll down. “Let’s see: ‘He’s going to eat it! Why’d you give it to him?’ and ‘Why are all the handsome ones evil?’ and then my favorite ‘RIP little doggie.’”

  “Dammit! Did you tell them she’s still alive?” I growl. This is fucking ridiculous. Why am I even trying to defend myself?

  “I did!” Finn says. “I came to your rescue. It was really hard with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, but I put up this picture of you two.” He points at a picture of me kneeling on the floor, playing with Hela in a moment of weakness. “And I wrote this to defend your honor: ‘The fanged creature seems to be warming up to the tiny bundle of joy. He hasn’t eaten either of us YET, but he’s given us pet names like Little Savory Biscuit and Dinnertime. We think he’s trying to plump us up first. If this is my last update, you’ll know that we’ve been eaten.’”

  This human. “I hate everyone here. I’m going to take Artemus, go to a secluded cabin out in the woods, and live the rest of my days alone,” I decide.

  Finn looks shocked like he doesn’t understand how life could come to this. “But baby… look at how many laughy likes I got! People think I’m hilarious and have asked me to update them every day,” Finn says as he points at the absurd amount of likes he’s received.

  I scoff and grab his chair before sending him flying across the room again. “Today is going to be horrible.”

  “Aw, no, it’s going to be so much fun with me,” Finn says as he scoots back to me. “Ooh! Look, I just got more likes!”

  “Aren’t we supposed to be working?” I ask.

  “We are! While the analysts are trying to run the DNA on all the vampires in the system, we’re stuck waiting. So far, they haven’t found a match, but since all vampires have to be in the system to receive blood, we know he almost has to be in the system somewhere. They’re referencing data from overseas now to see if the vampire came over here and isn’t registered yet,” Finn explains.

  “Okay,” I say as I head to my own chair. As I go to sit down, Finn’s phone rings.

  “This is Hayes… yeah… we’ll be right up, thank you.” He hangs up and looks at me. “Foster wants to talk to us about the recording.”

  “Alright, let’s go.”

  I follow him to the stairs as I realize something. “Why is it everyone calls you now? I’m head of this, shouldn’t they call me?”

  Finn grins as he bumps his shoulder into mine. “It’s because they love me.”

  “Why, though? Why don’t they just want to eat you?” I ask like this is a real concern.

  “Because they’re scared to even look at me wrong. Everyone heard what happened to Wren when he threatened me.”

  I growl. Just hearing the name irritates me. “I should have crushed his bones.” I mime crushing his throat which only gives me minor satisfaction.

  “And you question why everyone calls me instead of you.”

  I think about that for a moment. “I still don’t get it.”

  Finn starts laughing, whic
h is ultimately my goal in just about everything. Since we’re on the stairwell, completely alone, I reach over and tip his chin up before giving him a quick kiss.

  “What’s that for? Do you think I’m cute or something?” he teases.

  “Or something.”

  He snickers as he reaches over and squeezes my hand.

  On the second floor, we head over to Foster’s area where we find her seated behind her computer—a location she rarely leaves. Seeing as she deals with analyzing anything that has to do with technology, her ideal spot is behind a computer, working away. Since desk jobs like this one don’t require the vampire to be exposed to excess blood, we end up with more analysts than people who can work in the field. Foster has been working for us for years and has an eye for things that most look right over, so I’m optimistic she has something for us.

  She smiles when she sees us. “Hey, guys. Thanks for coming up here. Sadly, I don’t have anything perfect, but hopefully, something I do have can help.”

  Foster waves us over to her computer and plays the video again. This time it goes slow enough that we can see the man, although it’s blurry as fuck. “From the comparison pictures you took of Hayes, we’re aware we’re looking at someone about six foot one. Body structure tells me it’s most likely a male. From what little I can depict from the picture, we have someone who has darker hair. Black, brown, or even a dark red. The shoes look like Nike by this smudge here.” She trails over the “smudge” with the tip of a pen she’s holding. “I believe that’s the symbol, but the camera was meant to pick up wildlife, not vampires rushing past. In his arms is something large. Even though he’s holding it on the far side of his body, it’s safe to assume that this is the body of Tonya Everest. But I’ve been over the surveillance videos for days in order to compare our nightly terror to everyone who’s gone past this camera at any point in the past week.” She moves to a clip of another video, this one during the day. It’s of a man jogging with what looks like a Labrador. She has a compilation of him, every day, jogging with his dog right at his side.

  “You think that might be him?” Finn asks as he scrutinizes the video again.

  She taps the air in front of the screen with her pen. “What stands out is that he only missed one day of jogging: the day she was found.”

  “Do we have an ID on him?” Finn asks.

  “We do. A Mr. Barnett Adler. He’s from England and moved here about four months ago. That means he would also match our theory on DNA as well, seeing as he wouldn’t have to get registered until he’s been here six months or is planning on living here. We’ve contacted someone in England to run the DNA and see if we can find a match from their vampire database. Let’s hope we have an answer shortly,” she says with a smile.

  “That’s excellent news,” Finn says. “If we’ve already pinned the guy, things will be looking up. We need to stop him before he has a chance to strike again.”

  Foster gives Finn a huge smile. “I’m happy to hear that this is of use to you guys!”

  While we wait to hear if the DNA matches, we set to work on finding out where Barnett lives, works, and why he’s here in America. Though we find out that he’s staying in a rental house near the university, everything else isn’t public knowledge. He doesn’t have family here and didn’t appear to come over for work purposes. It seems as if asking might be the only option we’re left with.

  Chapter Eight

  FINN

  The report comes in after lunch, telling us that we have a perfect match between the DNA found under Perez’s nails to the DNA Barnett had to hand over when they signed him up to the blood bank in Europe.

  Now we just have to find him and arrest him.

  We decide to go as a unit with Marcus, DeGray, Briar, Karsyn, and me involved in order to make sure we don’t lose him. We’ll surround the house in case he decides to run, which would honestly be quite a mistake.

  Instead of taking a car, we take our transport vehicle that allows us to be geared up without sitting on each other’s laps and spilling out like it’s a clown car when we get to our destination. So the rest of us can be on the scene, Miller drives us. Since his partner’s life was taken by the vampire we’re targeting, he’d been removed from the case even though he was very against it. Because Marcus said he understood the pain of wanting to help put the man who killed your partner behind bars, he asked him to drive us.

  “Everyone ready?” Marcus asks as we near the house.

  “I am.”

  Marcus turns and scrutinizes me as his eyes run up and down me. He thinks that I’ll be safest by stuffing me in a full-body suit that will protect me from bullets, bites, and knives. I think it’s impossible to move when I’m basically wrapped in chainmail. So we did a happy compromise. Happy for me. Not as happy for him. But my torso is protected and I can move.

  “We’re good,” DeGray says before looking over at Karsyn. “Did you forget how to button?” He takes the top button of Karsyn’s shirt and realigns it as Karsyn dies and goes to heaven. At least that’s what I assume he does by the stoic look on his face. Although, I’ve noticed the two of them haven’t been talking as much. It almost seems like Karsyn has now latched on to me and picks me to do things with.

  Since DeGray’s attention is now on Briar, I wink at Karsyn who snubs his nose at me. I lean into Marcus.

  “Karsyn loves me,” I whisper.

  “He’s not good enough for you.”

  I snicker as Karsyn snips something in Russian at Marcus.

  “Oh my god! He just said you’re his favorite,” I say. “I’ve been learning Russian in my spare time.” While I have tried looking up some of the words Karsyn is saying, I still have no idea what any of it means ninety-nine percent of the time. And it annoys Karsyn more when I make up things, so of course, that’s the option I go with.

  “Wow, that’s amazing,” Marcus says. “Karsyn, you’re not exactly my favorite but you’re an adequate associate.”

  Karsyn jabs a finger at me. “I’m going to start teaching you Russian so you can understand what I’m saying when I curse you two out.”

  “Marcus, Karsyn likes me enough he’s going to spend extra time with me and teach me Russian!”

  “Wow! How wonderful. If you even look at Finn funny, I’ll crush you,” Marcus growls.

  “You two are so cute together!” I exclaim.

  “Crush.” Marcus demonstrates crushing by squeezing his hand tightly.

  Even though they act like they want nothing to do with each other, I can tell they’re getting closer and I know it’s all my doing. I definitely like Karsyn more than the rest because we get along the best, even if it’s mostly picking at each other.

  When we reach the house and the vehicle stops, Marcus slides open the door. We all file out as I stay with Marcus and the rest fan out around the house.

  We’re quiet, careful to not engage if Barnett is prepared to come quietly, which is really just wishful thinking. Once everyone is in position, Marcus knocks on the door.

  Marcus glances up, looking like he’s listening to something. “I think he’s realized we’re here. He was moving around, but now he’s extremely quiet. He’s somewhere on the second floor. And… he’s jumping.”

  I look up as Barnett leaps out of a second-story window and takes off.

  “I’ll head him off and tranq him,” I say as I split away to where I’ll have a clear shot at him.

  I aim my gun just as the others drive him toward Marcus and me. I step down onto the driveway but feel no contact with the ground when my right leg hits. Expecting to come down on my right leg instead of nothing, I fall forward, slamming hard on my hands and knees as Barnett rushes past me.

  “Finn!” Marcus shouts as he rushes to my side.

  “I’m fine, go stop him,” I say.

  Marcus hesitates, clearly deciding that my face planting in the driveway is more important than catching a killer.

  He can’t seriously be planning on letting a killer go b
ecause I fell. “Marcus, go!”

  “Dammit. Karsyn, watch him,” he shouts and then takes off after the others.

  Karsyn hesitates before coming to me as I roll onto my back and look down. Even though I’m telling my foot to move, nothing is happening. Did my leg just stop working?

  “How’d you trip? There’s not even enough to your legs to trip over them, they’re so short,” Karsyn says.

  “Come close so I can hug you,” I say.

  He must know that “hug” translates to “pinch” because he stays back. “Are you alright?”

  “Fine. My leg’s not working.”

  Karsyn retrieves my gun that’s a few feet from me before kneeling next to me. My hand and knee sting from the fall and when I look at my hand, I notice it’s bleeding.

  “My hand hurts. Lick it!”

  He looks confused. “What? I don’t want to lick your hand!” Karsyn cries.

  “Marcus licks me when I’m hurt!”

  He cringes and looks disgusted in the same breath. “Yeah, that’s because you guys are fucking weird,” he grumbles, but he does take my hand and knocks a few small pebbles out of the scrapes.

  “I’m pissed,” I grumble.

  “Because you fell?” he asks.

  “Because of… all of this.” I wave at myself. “I’m useless and just a hindrance to you guys.”

  Karsyn shakes his head. “I would never say you’re useless. Remember that one time I used you as bait? That worked extremely well.”

  I try not to smile. “Ha. Ha. You’re funny.”

  “And that other time we bribed that vampire with you by telling him he could eat you if he came with us, and then Marcus beat him up for thinking he could touch you? You’re extremely useful.”

  “Why is being a meal the only thing I’m useful at?”

  “No! That’s not true. You’re not a meal, you’re more of a snack.”

  I scowl at the annoying vampire. “I try to like you but sometimes, I realize that you truly are evil.”

  Karsyn nods like he approves of this message. “Let’s get you back to the vehicle.”