How to Elude a Vampire (VRC: Vampire Related Crimes Book 2)

by Alice Winters

  He reaches for me like he’s going to pick me up but I hold my hand out instead of grabbing onto him. “Help me up.”

  “You’re going to… hop there?” He seems skeptical about my determination.

  “Yes.”

  “I could carry you.”

  “I refuse.”

  He sighs and grabs my wrist before pulling me up. I wrap an arm around him, make one hop and then Karsyn scoops me up and zooms over to the vehicle before I can utter a complaint.

  “Dammit! I could have done it myself!”

  “Yeah, well, I’d have been an old man by the time you made it.”

  “It sure wouldn’t make you any nicer,” I mumble as he opens the door.

  “What happened?” Miller asks from the driver’s seat.

  “Nothing. I fell,” I say, waving him off as Karsyn helps me onto a seat. Then I stuff my hand down my pants, hoping a reattachment will make the fucker start working again. I can’t get my hand down far enough to feel much of anything.

  “Just take your pants off,” Karsyn says.

  “I don’t need to.”

  He growls something at me before unbuttoning my pants. “This is the only time you’ll get the chance to be stripped by me, so you’d better enjoy it.”

  I snort because I’m aware there is no part of this I’ll enjoy. “Are you pretending I’m you-know-who?” I tease.

  “There is no you-know-who. You’ve made all this shit up in your head.”

  “Fine, fine. I’ll find you someone to love, Karsyn.”

  “I want no one.”

  “Liar,” I say as I push my pants down.

  Karsyn’s eyes immediately drop down, but most people are very interested when they see it; I can’t necessarily blame them for looking. I just wish I didn’t have to deal with any of it.

  “This is amazing,” Karsyn says, looking astounded. “I’ve only seen your hand, but this has to hold your body weight while still moving and bending in order to give you a natural gait.”

  He kneels, hands hovering like he’s just dying to start touching and prodding.

  “You gonna… suck my toes while you’re down there?” I ask.

  “He will not be sucking anything,” Marcus growls as he comes around the corner.

  “Oh great, the whole crew is back to see me in my underwear,” I grumble as I quickly try to undo and redo the connection between the leg and the cap.

  Still nothing.

  And that’s the extent of my knowledge, which means I’ll have to go to my doctor and pray he can work some magic on it. I will not be happy if I can’t use my leg. I’d rather lose the use of my arm for a few days than my leg. When I can’t use my leg, I generally begin a pity party that consists of me moping around in my bed and refusing to do anything. It’s not a pretty sight and one that I’d really prefer Marcus never see.

  “You scraped your knee up pretty good too,” Marcus says.

  “I asked Karsyn to lick my wound and he refused. He told me he liked watching me suffer more,” I tell Marcus.

  “And you call yourself a friend,” Marcus growls at Karsyn who gives us an exasperated look.

  “But I don’t! I don’t call myself a friend to either of you!” he says. “And can you imagine the shit I’d have to deal with if you walked around the corner and caught me suckling on his knee?”

  I can’t help but grin at the thought, but I like Karsyn too much to watch Marcus toss him around like he’d done to Wren.

  “Did you catch the guy?” I ask curiously.

  “Yes, DeGray and Briar are with him at the moment. I came back to make sure you’re alright,” Marcus says as he pulls out the first aid kit and takes my hand before cleaning the dirt off the palm.

  “I want my pants up,” I grumble as Marcus holds my hand captive.

  “You don’t need pants. I like you naked,” Marcus says, as if that solves anything.

  “Can you move your toes?” Karsyn asks, still enthralled by my leg.

  “Not separately. They move to allow me to walk, but I can’t just move them by thinking about moving them.”

  “How much did it cost?” he asks.

  “I have no idea and probably don’t want to know. Thankfully, Orin has plenty of money because I couldn’t have afforded any of this on my own.”

  Marcus runs his tongue over my palm as Karsyn stares at us like we’ve lost our minds. I would agree, but Marcus’s spit has the power to make the pain nearly nonexistent. It’s magical.

  “You guys are so fucking strange,” Karsyn settles on. “But this leg… It’s so—”

  “Karsyn has a leg fetish,” I inform Marcus.

  “Makes sense. I’ve been to his house once and there are just mannequin legs everywhere,” Marcus says, appearing dead serious.

  “There isn’t even a… mannequin anywhere in my house. How does someone even get a mannequin? Don’t be spreading weird shit about me because I think the tech to make this work is fascinating!”

  I reach over and pat Karsyn’s shoulder. “I’ll still be your friend even with your mannequin leg fetish.”

  “Karsyn has a mannequin leg fetish?” DeGray asks as he peeks his head into the van.

  Karsyn bows his head and groans. “How can this day get any worse?”

  DeGray chuckles before turning to me. “You alright, Finn? You took quite the spill. If Marcus was good enough, he’d have caught you as you fell.”

  “My attention was on the vampire running,” Marcus says while sending a glare DeGray’s way. He doesn’t like anyone picking at his ability to keep me safe even if it is a joke. “Let’s get this situated, and then I’m taking Finn to his doctor.”

  MARCUS

  Finn calls Watson, his doctor, so he’s prepared for us when we arrive after leaving the others at the department. I’m pretty sure Karsyn would have followed us in a heartbeat if asked. He’s quite interested in the tech that goes into Finn’s leg, but it’s not surprising, seeing as he seems to enjoy tech stuff in the office.

  As Finn pouts, I carry him up to the front door.

  “I hate being carried. Can you drag me or something instead?”

  “By the hair or the foot?” I ask as I continue to carry him. Does he expect me to just drop him right here on the sidewalk?

  “Either is fine.”

  “I need to know one or the other,” I say as I start up the steps to the porch.

  “When this is over with, I get to carry you around so I feel better about myself.”

  I nod as if I’m fond of the idea, even though I’m positive I’d crush him. “I would love that. You’d be like my mule, hauling me around, and I’d be like a king. I feel like this is an excellent idea.”

  “Why do you make it sound like a good idea?” he grumbles.

  “Because it is! Nothing sounds better than being a king!”

  For some reason, he waves at me carrying him. “I sure don’t feel like a king.”

  I’m very aware that Finn hates being unable to do something or seen as being incapable. No matter how many times I tell him that it doesn’t change the way I see him and I won’t treat him differently, he still insists that I’m going to. I wish he’d just give in at this point.

  The door swings open, and instead of Watson, who I’d been expecting, a lady is standing there. She gives Finn a huge smile and says, “Finny!”

  “Hey, Charlie! I haven’t seen you in forever,” he says as he squirms a bit which tells me he wants me to put him down, but if I do, I’ll just have to pick him back up again and it’ll have solved nothing.

  “Ooh and you have a servant now, I see,” she teases.

  She steps back to allow me to carry Finn inside.

  Finn pats my arm. “Yes, this is my servant. Servant, this is Charlotte, or Charlie as I call her. She used to be an apprentice for Watson. He taught her the tricks of the trade,” Finn explains as I carry him into the room Watson uses as his workspace. Seeing the examination table in the middle, I carry him over to it before
turning to Charlie who smiles at me.

  I hold a hand out to her. “It’s Marcus, in case you’d like a name for Finn’s servant.”

  Her smile widens as she reaches out and shakes my hand. “Marcus Church, right? I’ve heard of you. Although probably few vampires haven’t in this area.”

  “Don’t be hitting on my man,” Finn threatens as he sits on the very edge of the examination table.

  Her eyes get huge as she points at me. “You… and him? No… Oh, you poor thing,” she says to me. “Is he paying you? Tell me why, I need to know.”

  I can’t help but grin as Finn turns to glare at her. “I see you’ve gotten no nicer since I saw you last,” he says sarcastically as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Why am I insanely nice to everyone and in return they’re evil to me?”

  “I think… it’s just the look on your face, honestly,” she says with a grin.

  I hear Watson as he heads toward the room and slips through the doorway. “Now there’s something wrong with his face? Do I need to make him a new face?” he jokes.

  “No, you can’t change his cute little face. It’s the only thing cute about him!” Charlie teases as she reaches over and pinches his cheek. “I was just wondering how he could hook a man like Marcus.”

  Watson turns and stares at me for a moment, like he’s scrutinizing me. “Very true.”

  “Not you too!” Finn says.

  “Marcus, life would be much easier for you if you just found someone else,” Watson jokes. “So much easier.”

  “They could even get things off the top shelf for you,” Charlie adds.

  Finn jabs a finger at them. “Both of y’all need to back off and stop trying to convince my man to leave me. He’s fragile enough as it is!”

  I snort as I pat his head. “I’m not leaving you for anyone even if they’re taller than a fifth grader.”

  “And you guys think I’m the bad one? See? See what I have to live with?”

  “Looks like torture to be forced to live with a funny and charming man. Pure torture!” Charlie exclaims. “However will you survive with a handsome man who carries you around like you’re royalty!”

  “You’d better get out now before it’s too late!” Watson adds.

  “Alright, you don’t need to be adding sass to this!” Finn says as he jabs a finger at Watson who just gives a low chuckle.

  “Now what’d you do this time?” Watson asks as he walks over to Finn to examine him.

  “My leg stopped working.”

  He sighs. “And what were you doing?”

  “I was just going for a stroll.”

  Watson raises an eyebrow. “Finnigan.”

  Finn sighs. “Running to head off a vampire. I was being careful, and I wasn’t being reckless or anything. I wasn’t even pushed or shoved or anything.”

  “I really wish you’d stop this job. I was annoyed enough when you wanted to join homicide and now this? Your arm and leg aren’t made for this stuff. They’re there to help you function normally, not galivant around with a gun in one hand and a badge in the other,” Watson says.

  Finn stares at the ground as he thinks about it. “I’m… I know you don’t like me putting them through that much stuff, but I promise I’m actually very careful. I really like my job, and you know I like being able to help people. You’ve made it so I can, so please, Watson, please believe me.”

  Watson reaches out and cups Finn’s face before giving a gentle pat. “Just… be good.” He turns to look at me. “I assume you’re keeping a close eye on him, right?”

  “An excellent eye, I promise,” I say.

  “Alright.” He turns to Finn. “And you promise to be careful?”

  “I promise,” Finn says.

  “No more stress on it.” He hands Finn a gown. “Put this on so you’re not freezing in your underwear.”

  “Thanks.”

  Watson and Charlie leave the two of us alone so he can change clothes.

  “I’m not sure why I also have to take my shirt off,” he says as I step up to the examination table and reach out to his button-up. “Or maybe you just want to see my muscled pecs too!”

  “I bet it’s so he can see if your arm is stressed and if you’re taking your prostheses off at night,” I say.

  “I take them off! Most of the time…”

  Finn glances down as I undo another button. He’s always so fixated on being independent that I’m glad when he allows me to take care of him. He doesn’t need to worry about me treating him like glass. I know that for him to have made it as far as he has, he’s had to be unbelievably strong.

  “What are you staring at? My chest hair?” he teases.

  I snort as I pinch at his nonexistent “chest hair” while he gives me a grin. “Where? I don’t think your body knows that chest hair is supposed to be on the chest.”

  “You say that like I have hair somewhere else. Is this about the mustache I tried growing?”

  I shake my head, knowing that he has as much hair elsewhere as he does on his chest. “Yes, that’s what this is about. I was hoping you could do something about that.” I push the shirt off his shoulders and fold it before setting it on a chair.

  “Now you get to strip me even more. Are you getting excited?”

  “Horribly. I can barely contain the excitement,” I dryly say as he starts pushing his pants down. “Hold up. I thought I get to do it?”

  “You were taking five years folding my shirt. It doesn’t need to be folded! My goal is to get out of here as quickly as possible. Go see if Watson will be bribed. Remind him that I’m the best patient he’s ever had.”

  “I’m not bribing anyone. You can bribe me if you want, but that’s it.” I guide his jeans over his ankles and slide them off as he pulls the gown on. Once it’s tied, I get Watson who is talking with Charlie.

  “He’s ready,” I say.

  The two come in and while Charlie chats with Finn about what he’s been up to and his new position, Watson examines Finn’s prosthesis.

  “You swear you did nothing?” Watson asks. “And you’ve been taking it off?”

  Finn nods. “Yes, I was good, and I took it off. Ask Marcus!”

  Watson turns to me, clearly not believing Finn. He watches me a moment with a raised eyebrow. “So?”

  “Yeah, he takes it off every night before getting in bed. He’s been good about it even if I have to remind him occasionally.”

  “The funny thing is he shouldn’t need to be reminded when he’s been like this for about thirteen years.”

  “Are you guys still talking? See what I have to deal with, Charlie?” Finn asks, like his life is so dramatic because he’s continually forced to listen to Watson and me berate him.

  “Life’s horribly hard when you’re cute and have big eyes and a huge smile, didn’t you know?” I ask Charlie. “When you’re like that, you definitely don’t get everything you’ve ever wanted.”

  “Evil,” Finn whispers. “Pure. Pure. Evil.”

  “You’re cute if you think I’m the evil one in the room,” I say as I look right at Finn who just grins, not at all denying it.

  After spending about fifteen more minutes with the equipment, Watson turns to us. “Do you want to take a guess what was wrong with it?”

  “Not really,” Finn says.

  “The sensor inside of it which does a great job telling me what you’re doing to my baby said that you jarred it. It shut itself down to keep from any further damage.”

  “You put a kill switch on my leg so I can’t damage it?” Finn asks.

  “No! That would be stupid in case you needed to get away! But sometimes when things like this get jarred just right, the connection is lost. Will you please just stop being reckless?”

  Finn stares at the floor. “Yes?”

  Watson sighs before turning to me and pointing a finger at me. “It’s your job now to keep him out of trouble. If he gets hurt, it’s now on you.”

  “Okay. I’m watching him, I promise
,” I say.

  “Good. Next time I’m taking the leg and giving you a peg one.”

  “Some call me Pirate Finnigan.”

  “No one calls you that.”

  Finn glares at me. “They will when Watson forces me to use a peg leg!”

  Watson shakes his head, probably wondering how this turned into a discussion about pirates.

  Chapter Nine

  MARCUS

  Finn and I travel to the local prison where Barnett is being held. They don’t like transporting potentially dangerous vampires around, so we’ll speak to him in a highly secured room with vampire guards at the ready. While it’s not my first time here, it’ll be Finn’s. He acts like he couldn’t care less as he strolls up to the front desk and smiles at the vampire.

  “Hi, I’m Detective Hayes and this is Detective Church. We’re here to see Barnett Adler,” he says.

  The woman stares at him.

  He keeps on smiling.

  “I’m sorry, but who are you?” the woman asks, instantly taking a tone with him. She’s a vampire and clearly doesn’t think he needs to be involved in any of this. So many of them get the superior better-than-all-humans attitude.

  “Detective Hayes,” he says.

  “Yes, and which department are you with?”

  Finn’s played this game many times, but it never seems to deter him in the slightest. He’s just that stubborn. “VRC,” he says as he shows her his badge.

  “Uh-huh…”

  I slide in next to Finn and stare her down. Her annoyed attitude instantly deflates as her eyes drop. “Is there a problem with that?” I growl.

  “No, sir. Go right ahead, sir.”

  The thing about vampires is that while we can’t instantly tell each other’s age from looking, we understand when someone’s older and requires more respect. People generally respect me because they know I could make them respect me if I wanted to.

  “I apologize for the wait; right this way.” She waves us over to a guard who takes us to a door and leads us down a secure hallway.

  Finn looks over at me, and I know it’s about how I handled the woman, but I get so irritated with people trying to bully him.