Men Are Frogs

by Saranna Dewylde

  How could Phillip himself do that in this situation? He could continue to squabble, but he could see how tired Zuri was. He could see that she needed him to be, not her savior, but her support system. No one was listening to what she wanted.

  The godmothers were wonderful, but they were waiting for a kiss that definitely wasn’t going to come while the room was packed. He knew they were doing their best, and they wanted to be there to support him with proof when he told her about magic, and to support her when she realized how her world had changed.

  Ravenna, he didn’t know what she was doing, but he suspected Alec Marsh wasn’t going to like whatever she had planned. He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad for the guy.

  “Come on,” he said. “Everyone out. Let’s give Zuri a minute.”

  Alec seemed like he was going to argue, but Ravenna glided over to him and grabbed him by ear. “Out, he said.” She dragged him down the stairs.

  The godmothers didn’t hesitate and flitted toward the door.

  “Call us if you need us, sweet peas,” Jonquil advised.

  He looked at Zuri. “I’ll give you a moment, and I’ll get you what you need.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly.

  When he opened the door to leave, he saw Zuri’s mirror image standing there, her eyes wide as saucers, and a big smile on her face.

  “You must be Zeva.”

  Her smile got bigger. “You must be Prince Charming.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. “I am so happy to meet you.”

  A certain twinkle in her eye told him that she knew everything.

  Relief washed over him. “You know, I think you might have arrived just in time.”

  “I think so, too. Twinning is helpful that way.”

  “Zeva? You’re here?” Zuri called out.

  “I’ll leave you two alone for a minute.” He knew they needed each other without being told.

  Zeva grabbed his hand, her grip firm. “I can trust you, can’t I? With my sister?”

  “You can.” Phillip squeezed her hand to reassure her.

  She searched his face for a long moment. “I believe you.”

  The magic and warmth that radiated from Zeva almost made him forget that Zuri wasn’t the one to break his spell.

  Almost. Looking into Zeva’s eyes showed him a future that didn’t belong to him. Zeva wasn’t going to be the sister he’d never had, and Zuri wasn’t going to be his princess.

  No matter how much he wished it could be otherwise.

  Chapter 11

  Zuri exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding when she heard her sister’s voice.

  “You knew,” she said.

  “Of course I knew. I always know. This is what we do.” Zeva crawled onto the bed with her. “Was that Alec I saw in the hallway?”

  “Yes. He’s the best man for a wedding I’m working on.”

  “What an insane coincidence,” Zeva said dryly.

  “Don’t you start, too. Can’t you see I’m sick?” Zuri grumped.

  “And Prince Charming has the cure.”

  “Is that what we’re doing?” Zuri drawled.

  “It’s not what I’m doing, but it’s what you’re doing. Oh, Zuri. Can’t you see the magic at work here?”

  Zuri held up her arms. “I see green rot at work.” Then she narrowed her eyes. “You don’t seem as upset for me as I think you should be.”

  “That’s because I know that your prince has your cure.”

  “Why is everyone calling him a prince? Just because he owns a castle doesn’t make him a prince.”

  Zeva took her hand. “No, his heart does. And, you know, he is.”

  “What are you talking about?” Zuri wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this. She’d had some extra sense tingling at the back of her neck since she arrived, and she wasn’t ready to put a name to it.

  “Can’t you see it? The magic in Ever After is everywhere. You’ve walked into a fairy tale.”

  “Zeva, I think maybe you might be having some secondary effects from my illness. You’re talking like you think that magic is real. Not just, you know, the human experience, but like . . . magic. That this theme park–style little town is more than kitsch.”

  “It is. I know I’m not the only one who sees it. Your Phillip basically admitted it when I came in.”

  “Yeah, because that wouldn’t benefit his business interests at all.” She tucked her sister in next to her. “He’s not my Phillip.”

  “He is. Maybe not right now, maybe not tomorrow, but he is.” Zeva was annoyingly confident.

  “Hush. You sound like the godmothers.”

  “You really didn’t see how they sparkle? The one with the glasses leaves glitter everywhere she goes.”

  “Did someone spike your drink?” Zuri asked.

  Zeva rolled onto her side. “Zuri, I’m telling you that this place is absolutely everything it says it is. I almost had a heart attack when I saw that dark-haired woman. She was every inch an Evil Queen.”

  Zuri knew Zeva didn’t lie.

  Except if Zeva could see it and Zuri couldn’t, it meant magic was real for some people. Just not for Zuri.

  Which had been Zuri’s deepest darkest fear all along. She’d just said things couldn’t get any worse, and she’d been given a definitively shitty answer that yes, they could. So why not this, too?

  “Okay. I believe you. It’s insane, but I believe you. What did it look like when you drove in?” She wanted to share Zeva’s experience, too.

  “Everything sparkled. It was like Strawberry Shortcake meets My Little Pony and with an extra helping of fairy dust. It was so strange. I thought I was hallucinating at first, but as soon as I trusted my instincts, it was like even more of this world opened up to me. I could see traces of energy from people I think are magic,” she ended on a high pitch. “It’s wonderful.”

  Zuri tried to be happy for her sister, and of course she found some joy, but she found sorrow for herself as well.

  “Oh, but it’s not wonderful for you right now, is it? I’m sorry.” Zeva pulled Zuri into her arms. “I’m sure you feel terrible. We’ll get Phillip back in here, and he’s going to make you feel better.”

  “I don’t think he will,” Zuri confessed.

  “Why do you think that, dumplin’?”

  “You’re even talking like the fairy godmothers, now.” Zuri chuckled. “You’re just infected with some magic mushroom that’s a little more trippy than actual magic.”

  “Zuri, I swear to you.”

  “Pinkie swear?” Zuri asked.

  Zeva held up her pinkie, and they hooked their fingers together. “Pinkie swear. I’m not tripping balls.”

  “That’s both the best thing I’ve ever heard and the worst.” Zuri pulled the covers higher.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because this is the first time we’ve experienced something major in different ways. It’s like you’re so far away from me now.”

  “And?” Zeva prompted.

  “And . . . if magic is real, and you know it’s real.” She took a breath. “All these people are actually who I thought they were pretending to be, and that means it’s real for only some people. Not for me, because I can’t see it.”

  Zeva’s happy grin slowly melted into a frown. “No, I don’t believe that. I think you just can’t see it yet. I don’t know what’s happened to me that it’s different for me, but I think I need to find out.”

  “I know you do,” Zuri said, but held on tighter. She didn’t want to let go.

  People didn’t often get the chance to know when a moment was going to change their lives forever. It wasn’t often that one could look and see where their new path diverged from their old one, but Zuri knew this was one of those moments.

  After the moment passed, when she let go of her sister, everything was going to change.

  She whispered the thought aloud, “It’s all going to change, Zeva.”

  “I know, and I
can’t wait. I’m going to find a way to bring some of this magic to the kids at St. Marigold’s.” Zeva pulled away to look down at Zuri. “And you’re going to find your way, too.”

  “I wish I was as confident about that as you are.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then believe me when I say that everything will work out. I can see it.”

  “Magic will make everything okay?” Zuri was skeptical. Neither she nor her sister had believed that in a long time. Not since the fateful night when their father didn’t come home and all the wishing and hoping in the world hadn’t been able to change the fact that he was dead.

  “No, you will make everything okay.”

  Zuri was comforted momentarily. Then it hit her that Zeva had called Phillip Prince Charming. “Holy shit, is he really?”

  “Who? The charming B and B owner?”

  “That’s worse than a dad joke, Zeva. That was awful.” Laughter bubbled in the back of her throat.

  “It was amazing, and I deserve so much credit.”

  “The Chicago judge gives it a negative ten.”

  Then Zuri remembered that Phillip had told her there were things he wanted to tell her but he couldn’t. Not until she’d been in Ever After a while.

  She found comfort in that, too. He hadn’t lied to her. While he’d kept things from her, it was logical that he’d wait for her to be ready for what he had to say. If he’d just popped off with “Hey, baby. I’m Prince Charming . . . ,” that wouldn’t have gone over well. Zuri knew he’d been as honest with her as he could’ve been.

  “What are you thinking about? Your charming prince?”

  “Oh God, stahp already. I can’t.”

  Zeva giggled. “Oh, but I bet you will.”

  Zuri giggled, too. “You’re right. I probably will. As soon as I’m not green. Honestly, I don’t know how you can lay next to me with all this going on.” She motioned to her face.

  “It’s not contagious, I don’t think.” Zeva did a quick inventory of herself, holding up her arms and hands.

  “We probably should’ve figured that out before you crawled into bed with the green plague.”

  “Phillip is getting your medicine. I’m going to go and see if there’s an extra room for me.”

  “You can just stay with me,” Zuri said.

  “No, I can’t. Not this time. You’re going to need your space, but I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.” Zeva kissed her forehead. “I’ll tell him you’re ready.”

  Zuri considered telling Zeva not to be hasty. She wasn’t ready for anything. Except to stop itching. Although, if that meant facing some fairy-tale prince she’d developed the hots for, she might just stick with the itching. It was easier.

  She was already taken with him. His perfect hair, his perfect jaw, his ridiculously green eyes—wait. His eyes were an unnatural shade of green. They were frog green.

  No.

  That couldn’t be.

  Fate wouldn’t be so cruel, would she?

  A bitch might, she allowed. A bitch just might.

  Today was the day where the hits just kept coming.

  She definitely needed to go to the Pick ’n’ Axe to throw some axes and drink her mead. Zuri wanted to two-hand them both. An axe in each hand until she could barely lift her arms, and then flagon after flagon of that delicious mead.

  Maybe some stew.

  And some of Gwen’s cookies.

  Her mind wandered to all the pleasant places and things that brought her comfort. So it made sense that, much to her chagrin, it made its way back to Phillip.

  To the drinking chocolate with him by the fire.

  She heard voices at the door and the soft click as it was closed.

  Phillip came up to sit in the chair where Alec had been perched earlier. He was actually too pretty to look at. It was unreal that someone as handsome as he was lived and breathed outside anyone’s imagination.

  “So you talked with your sister?”

  “I trust her, but I have to ask, did you spike her drink? Did she kiss the frog on the way to the castle and now we’re all tripping balls?”

  Phillip laughed and looked down at his hands for a moment before raising his eyes to meet her gaze. “No. The frog isn’t there after sundown.”

  “Oh God,” she whispered.

  “Yeah.” He shrugged.

  She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. “When I was talking to Zeva, I could still pretend this was one of our games. We used to make up our own worlds when we were kids. Whole universes with magic and portals and . . . I don’t know if I can process this. I feel crazy for even considering it.”

  “I didn’t want to tell you yet. You’re not ready. I’m so sorry you’re sick.” He made to take her hand, but he pulled back before he touched her. “I have your antidote.”

  She peered at him, and he didn’t seem to be holding anything. “What is it?” Zuri wrinkled her nose. “Please don’t let it be any kind of nasty potion I have to drink.”

  “No, I can safely say that you don’t have to drink it.”

  “Your tone says I’m still not going to like it.”

  “I don’t know if you’ll like it or not.”

  She was torn between demanding he just come out with it and deciding to trust him to lead her to it slowly. After all, a woman of sound mind could only process so much of this magic crap at one time.

  “Since I’m not itching at the moment, can we start slow?”

  His mouth quirked up in a half smirk. “As slow as you want.”

  His words made her body come alive, and she was sure that no matter what he had to say, things between them were headed to a fixed point on the horizon that was all carnal. What was going to happen after that, she couldn’t say.

  “So tell me. Tell me the whole truth about the castle. About your family. About your friend’s skin condition.”

  His half smirk bloomed into a real smile, and she caught a glimpse of a dimple. How had she missed that?

  It was as if slowly, inch by inch, more details were being revealed to her. More of the veil was being pulled away from her eyes.

  Instead of being afraid, she remembered what her sister had said and let herself feel only the excitement at this new state of things. Maybe magic was for her, too.

  Just maybe.

  “So, to start with, I’m pretty old. Time used to pass differently outside of Ever After. So, wait, we agree that magic is real? Because you won’t believe any of what I have to say without that basic foundation.”

  “Okay. Magic is real.” The words tasted strange on her tongue, and for a moment, she doubted. Okay, for more than a moment. She wondered if this was a newbie prank they played on everyone who was new to the area, but Zuri didn’t think that people as sweet as the godmothers would do that.

  Only, that seemed more likely than believing in wands, fairy dust, and . . . seven men of small stature who owned a bar and . . .

  “Did I lose you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Yes. For a minute. I’m back now.”

  “There used to be more of us, but when love began to disappear from the world, so did our lands and our power. We stepped back from the mortal world and went about our business without interacting too much. The godmothers went back and forth, because it was still their job to meddle, as they so enjoy doing.”

  Zuri nodded. “Do they have wings? Because I just feel like they need wings.”

  “They most definitely have wings, but they hide them when normies are around.”

  This thrilled Zuri to no end.

  “Anyway, our stores of magic began to run quite low, and—”

  “Wait! Your parents. Your family. They didn’t . . .”

  He shook his head. “No, they didn’t make the jump. They didn’t want to change. They liked the old ways and thought that maybe it was time for magic to disappear.”

  “Phillip, I’m so sorry.” She reached out for his hand.

/>   His fingers were warm and strong when they closed around hers. “The same is still true as I said before. The town is my family. We’ve all had one another.”

  “I think that’s more magical than wings, honestly.”

  “I do, too. I think we’re very lucky the godmothers are who they are. Back to my story, though, if you still want to hear it.” There was no judgment in his voice, just a calm curiosity.

  “Yes, sorry. Go on.” She looked into his eyes and couldn’t help but wish he’d kiss her.

  Not that he’d want to, since she looked like the creature from the black lagoon.

  Oh God, her hair was probably a wreck.

  Why was she worried about how she looked? Zuri decided she definitely needed therapy. She wondered if the health insurance plan from FGI covered it.

  “You saw Ravenna, and you know the black castle is hers. She’s a queen. Some would say Evil Queen, and the claim is not without merit. Alec is lucky she’s trying to turn over a new leaf.”

  “She’d curse him for me? Really?”

  “Really. She’s the sort who might even put his heart in a box.”

  “You’re not kidding.” That was the kind of friend to have, though. Another woman to fix your crown, or your pitchfork, before anyone knew it was crooked.

  “Not in the least. She wouldn’t kill him, either. She’d make him walk around without his heart so he could learn what it’s for.”

  Zuri wasn’t sure if she was scared of Ravenna or had a massive girl crush. “Way to smash the patriarchy. And in those shoes.” She sighed.

  Phillip laughed. “You got it. That’s Ravenna. A Gothic fashion icon, dark magic powerhouse, and a literal queen.”

  “You’re a prince but not a king?”

  “Ouch,” he said. “But we’ll get to that. Hunter is also a prince. It’s not a skin condition. He made the mistake of crossing a witch, and he’s cursed. He’s a man wearing the skin of a beast.”

  “A werewolf?”

  “No, no. We have one of those. Grammy. She’s out at the ranch these days. She was bitten saving Red. We give her room to run. She doesn’t bite anyone. Usually.” He shrugged.

  Zuri was even more gobsmacked. “I still feel like you’re taking the piss, as they say on the BBC.”