Men Are Frogs

by Saranna Dewylde

  “Definitely not taking the piss.”

  “Okay. Okay. So. I have a feeling what’s coming next, but I need you to say it out loud.”

  He nodded slowly. “I haven’t had to confess this to anyone. Ever. Everyone here already knows. They’ve always known.”

  She nodded and took a deep breath, waiting for the words that were going to challenge everything she knew to be true.

  “The reason I’m still a prince and not a king, aside from the fact we don’t do that anymore, is that a cursed man can’t be king. I’m the frog in the fountain.” He held her hand tighter. “And I’m sorry as hell that you’re sick because you tried to break my curse, and even sorrier that your kiss wasn’t the one.”

  Chapter 12

  He waited for the fallout.

  Her eyes searched his, and he wanted to look away; Phillip wanted to hide from her scrutiny, but he forced himself to be present, to let her see anything she wanted from him.

  “I am, too. I was sitting here thinking that it sucked that magic was real, because if it was, I was one of the ones who didn’t get the Happily Ever After. Not everyone does. Obviously. Except, it’s awful for you, too. You live with magic. You’ve always lived with it, and you’re cursed. You must be bitter.”

  He shook his head, realizing that he wasn’t bitter at all. He’d even found some gratitude for his situation. “I’m not bitter at all. Hunter told me that basically we were selfish assholes who got the opportunity to be better. Sure, we went kicking and screaming, but in the end, we’re better people.”

  “Hunter sounds a lot like my sister.”

  “He’s my best friend. He’s a good man. I am sadder for him than I am for myself. His time is up. The deadline on his curse passed before he could find someone to love him.”

  “Oh no! Will that happen to you?”

  “No. I don’t think so. I’ll have to ask Petty.”

  “Can she help you? I mean, I’m sure she tried, right?”

  He knew the question he was dreading was coming, but he also knew that even if it didn’t, he still had to tell her.

  But he also knew all the understanding in her eyes would fade, and it would be a long time before she’d let him be this close to her again. He couldn’t blame her. If he’d been in her position, he’d want to protect himself as best as he could, too.

  “She tried. It’s why she’s doing that frog-kissing booth at the spring carnival. To try to help me break the curse.”

  “Who cursed you? What did you do?”

  When he looked away from her, she spoke again. “You can tell me.”

  Phillip wanted to ask her if she wouldn’t just rather have her cure. He could kiss her, and they’d surrender to this fire between them.

  Only he knew the fire would be snuffed when she found out.

  The old Phillip wouldn’t have told her, he realized. The old Phillip would’ve taken what he wanted without any thought for the fallout.

  The old Phillip was just like Alec Marsh.

  If anything, Phillip knew he was a better man than that. A man who owned his mistakes. A man who valued other people and considered their feelings. A man who knew the value and the necessity of truth.

  “I am how Petty got her nickname. Three hundred years ago, the sisters had not yet adopted their current incarnation. Not that they’re not beautiful, but I just feel I need to open with that.”

  Zuri arched a brow and then casually started to scratch her hand.

  “Stop that. It’ll just make it worse. Believe me, I know.”

  “Wait, I got this from kissing you. Did you give me an STD?” Zuri demanded.

  Phillip couldn’t stop the gale of laughter that overtook him.

  “Oh my God, Zuri. No. No. It’s just an allergic reaction. I promise.”

  “Are you sure?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

  “I’m positive. No one else who kissed me got the frog pox.”

  He watched as realization dawned on her. “Oh, you’ve been kissed a lot.”

  He nodded. “Lucky me?”

  “Wait, you don’t have mono, do you? The kissing disease?” She wrinkled her nose.

  He found the expression on her face to be ridiculously adorable. Of course, he wouldn’t say that out loud. No one wanted to hear they were cute in times of distress. Yet, he found he was enamored with most everything about her.

  “Zuri. No. I swear, it’s just an allergy.”

  “But why am I allergic to you?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “But if Petty says it’s an allergy, then it’s an allergy. She’s been doing this a long time.”

  “Frog pox still sounds like something gross.”

  “I’m sure it feels absolutely awful.”

  “When do I get my antidote?”

  “I’m getting there. You need to know the rest of this before I tell you what the antidote is.”

  She sighed. “This is part of the stuff you had to tell me, too, right?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “It is.”

  “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  He hadn’t known Zuri very long, but he was sure she wouldn’t want the antidote after he’d told her everything. Eventually, she’d accept it because she wanted to be done itching and didn’t want to turn into a frog as well.

  But she wouldn’t want to kiss him.

  He was pretty sure that was going to tear his heart out of his chest and shred it like filling for a street taco. Because even if she wasn’t the one to break his curse—hell, maybe his curse was already permanent—he’d started to dream about building something with her.

  “I was Alec,” he blurted. “I mean, we weren’t engaged or anything. But I courted Petty and Bluebonnet at the same time. When Petty found out, she cursed me. It’s been this way ever since.”

  Zuri’s mouth opened, and her jaw worked, but no sound came out. Then she snapped it shut and pressed her lips together.

  She didn’t need to say anything, though. He could see the betrayal in her eyes.

  It was as if he’d taken the trust they were slowly building and dropped it to shatter like a glass globe on stone.

  “I see.”

  “They’ve forgiven me,” he said. “I’m a better man than I used to be.”

  “I suppose they have if they’re trying to break your curse with the kissing booth,” she said quietly.

  Silence fell like a long, cold shadow between them. He didn’t know what else to say.

  She finally spoke. “Of course you’re a better man than you used to be. You’ve had a long time to evolve.”

  “A long, long time,” he agreed.

  “So what’s the antidote? Why do you somehow think I won’t want it after finding out why you’re cursed? Do we have to have sex or something?”

  “Nothing that extreme. Just a kiss,” he said as if it didn’t matter. As if kissing her wasn’t something he’d already thought about, longed for, and begged fate to give him the opportunity.

  Not that he wanted it at her expense. He didn’t want it to be something she had to submit to but something she wanted with equal fervor.

  “A kiss that you ran away from last time?” She bit her lip.

  “Unless I misread that whole interaction.”

  “It was dawn. I was already changing back to a frog. I didn’t think you’d enjoy that.”

  “You’re right about that.”

  “So the antidote?” he prompted.

  She exhaled heavily. “There’s no other way?”

  “You don’t want to kiss me now? Is it because I’m a frog or because of what I did to Petty and Bluebonnet three hundred years ago?”

  “That’s not hyperbole, is it? It’s really been three hundred years?” she gasped.

  “Almost to the day. Will you answer the question?”

  “I already kissed a frog,” she said. “But that’s my problem, isn’t it? I keep kissing frogs expecting them to be princes, but even
the one who really is a prince . . . he somehow isn’t.” She dropped her arms and sagged against the back of the bed.

  “We all make mistakes, Zuri. No one is perfect.”

  “That’s what Zeva says, but to me, that sounds like an excuse. It sounds like a push for me to settle.”

  His first instinct, even after all these years, even after all his lessons, was to remind her that he was a prince. It wasn’t settling.

  Except, maybe it was.

  She wanted someone she could trust.

  Obviously, Zuri didn’t feel she could trust him now, and by all rights he couldn’t blame her. Even if he did blame her, it still wasn’t for him to choose who Zuri trusted.

  “You don’t have anything to say to that?” she asked.

  “What am I supposed to say, Zuri? I’ve already told you my story. I told you I’ve changed, and I understand why you can’t trust it, but that’s it, then, isn’t it?”

  “I guess it is.”

  “You still have to kiss me if you don’t want to be a frog.” He hated that it had to be that way.

  “Maybe I do want to be a frog. Is it easier?”

  “Not really. I still remember some of what it’s like to be a man. Although, that fades more and more every year. I can’t connect with other frogs, even though I’ve made a couple of pals. Nothing you’d call ride-or-die. Not like Hunter.”

  The door was suddenly flung open, and the entire circus of Ravenna, the godmothers, and Alec, along with Anna and Jordan added to the mix tumbled back in.

  “We came to check on you,” Anna said.

  “Alec said you weren’t getting care, and we wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Jordan added as he and Anna took in the scene.

  Phillip pressed his palm to his forehead. “For fuck’s actual sake,” he murmured. “We were having a moment. Godmothers?”

  Where was Zeva when he needed her?

  “Why is she still green, Phillip?” Petty demanded.

  “Well, I’ve had to do a bit of explaining, now haven’t I?”

  “Zuri, would you like to go to a hospital?” Jordan prompted.

  “No, no. I’m fine. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better shortly after Phillip is able to administer the treatment.”

  “I demand to see the treatment,” Alec said. “This is ridiculous.”

  Anna put her hand on his arm and shook her head.

  Alec sighed. “Zuri, it would make me feel a lot better if you’d let me be present. I’d like to make sure he’s not giving you some kind of potion with batwings or something.”

  “We would never!” Ravenna snapped, obviously offended because of her beloved Esmerelda.

  Bluebonnet looked at her wrist, where there was obviously no watch, but she tapped it with her finger anyway. “Time’s a-wasting, Phillip. Tick tock.”

  “Really? It’s almost like, hmm, no one will leave me alone long enough to get it for her,” Phillip admonished.

  “You know we’re impatient, dear.” Jonquil nodded.

  “You’ve all signed off on this?” Zuri asked.

  “Obviously, darling. We want you well,” Petty said.

  “I want to know why you told me to kiss that stupid frog in the first place.” Zuri crossed her arms over her chest.

  Phillip tried not to take offense at being “that stupid frog.”

  “You’d already been kissing one. What’s the difference?” Ravenna asked. “Oh, except for the part where one is literally a frog and the other is . . . well. That.” She looked at Alec pointedly.

  “Ravenna,” Phillip hissed. “Ixnay on the Rogfay.”

  Ravenna rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I think he just wanted me to drag him out of here by his ear again.” She threw a look at Zuri. “Which I’m happy to do. If you want your cure?”

  Why was Ravenna suddenly championing him? It didn’t make sense. Unless she was trying to make sure she didn’t have to deal with his pursuit.

  It was getting hard to feel good about himself, what with all the rejection.

  Phillip figured that was a big clue. He should probably just shut up and go sit in the fountain.

  Ravenna smiled at him. “I’m trying to help you. This isn’t a bad thing.”

  “After our talk the other day, I thought . . .” He shrugged.

  “What talk?” Zuri asked. “Was it about me, because I’ve had enough of this.”

  “Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. The crystal ball wasn’t sure. Since you both are still having your same issues, my guess is it wasn’t about you. Sorry, sugar.” Ravenna shook her head.

  “Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Anna asked.

  “I will,” a new voice called from the doorway. “Yes, hi. I’m Zeva. Yes, we’re twins. Yes, our parents could tell us apart. Yes, we played the switch game when we were little. But what we’re all going to do now is vacate my sister’s room so she can rest.” She cast a fiery look to Alec. “No, you’re not going to argue. Because while your ex-fiancée set her dress on fire, I will set you on fire if you don’t leave this room now.”

  Phillip had to admire Zeva’s absolute take-charge attitude. She was not tolerating any of this, and he was entirely grateful.

  Ravenna’s bottom lip protruded in a pout. “I don’t see why she gets to light things on fire.”

  Zeva linked her arm with Ravenna’s. “You can light all sorts of things on fire. Even Alec, if you really want to. No one is going to stop you. Of course, it might make for a really bad review if you light the best man on fire for one of the weddings.”

  Ravenna curled her lip. “I suppose. I am actually trying to help, you know.”

  “We know,” Petty said, and patted her arm.

  “If you’re sure, Zuri?” Anna asked her.

  “I appreciate you looking out for me. But I’m okay. Or I will be, and it’s my job to look after you. I’ll be right as rain soon, and then we’ll get down to the nitty-gritty of planning your dream wedding.”

  “Zuri, don’t worry about the wedding. You’re what’s important,” Jordan said.

  It made Phillip wonder how a guy like Jordan was best friends with a guy like Alec. He supposed the guy had to have some redeeming qualities.

  Phillip remembered the people who saw the good in him and believed in the man he could be before he himself did.

  Looking at Jordan he was determined to help Zuri fulfill her promise to him, not just because it was good for business but because he wanted to help give Anna and Jordan their dream. They were a nice couple, and good people.

  He’d watched those bridezilla shows to prepare himself for what they were going to have to deal with when they started booking these weddings, and he understood why people behaved the way they did. Sometimes, they were obsessed with making the ceremony perfect because they thought it was a reflection of how the marriage would be. Or it was something they’d dreamed of.

  Anna and Jordan knew what they wanted, but they were willing to put it all aside so someone they just met could rest and recover.

  “You guys, I promise, you’re going to have your dream wedding. FGI knows exactly what they’re doing, and I’ll have Zuri up and around in no time. In fact, why don’t we plan on a late dinner in the ballroom tomorrow, where we can finalize some plans? My chef makes an excellent filet.”

  “If you’re sure,” Jordan said.

  Alec shook his head. “No, we’re not listening to Blond Ambition over there.”

  “Yes, we are. Because Zuri is. Let’s go, Alec.”

  “Yes, Alec. Let’s,” Ravenna said, and she shot her foot out when he took a step forward.

  Alec stumbled and was unable to recover his balance and fell face-first onto the floor.

  “You should make him mop the room with his tongue.” Ravenna clicked her tongue.

  Zeva laughed. “We should, but we can plot that later.”

  Zuri waved everyone out. “Go on. I promise, I’ll be fine. No more health checks, though. I need to take the antidote, take a shower,
and get some rest.”

  After everyone had finally left, Phillip went back up to the bedroom loft and shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “So. You gonna take this cure, or what?”

  “I don’t have any choice, do I?”

  “Of course you have a choice. I don’t think it has to be a big deal. A quick peck and we’re done.”

  “You know, Phillip, my reluctance isn’t because I don’t want to kiss you.”

  Something strange and unfamiliar twisted up his insides. “I suppose that makes it worse, then, doesn’t it?”

  Chapter 13

  Kissing Phillip was something Zuri wanted and feared.

  She wanted it because he was hotter than fire, but she was afraid of it because her heart was still tender and vulnerable.

  Whether she wanted to admit it, she’d already developed feelings for Phillip. Except, that made no sense to her. If she felt all these things for him, why hadn’t her kiss been the cure he needed?

  It made her think once again that magic was for some people and she wasn’t one of the lucky ones.

  Her love wasn’t enough.

  Ohhhhhh no. She didn’t love him. Did she?

  Feelings were one thing. They were delicate, new buds. New growth, but it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.

  Only it didn’t matter if it was or not, because when it was all said and done, Zuri wasn’t enough.

  She hadn’t been enough for Alec. If she had been, he wouldn’t have been seeing her on the side. She wouldn’t have been a dirty secret.

  God, what would that even look like to have had all of Alec? She couldn’t picture it now.

  But she could picture it much too easily with Phillip. Except those visions were all peach pie in the sky, because she wasn’t the one. Zuri wasn’t enough to break his curse.

  Watching him standing there, with all his vulnerability on his sleeve, she wanted to tell him that none of it mattered. Not his curse, not her frog pox, not the fact that she couldn’t break his curse, because her heart wanted him, but that was dangerous territory.

  He may have been Prince Charming, but even he couldn’t live up to her expectations, could he? She expected him to have a perfect past, and no one did. Everyone made mistakes, but his mistakes were the ones she just couldn’t get past.