Prairie Fire

by Djuna Shellam

  “I love you, Emmy. I’ve missed you,” Prairie sobbed. “Thank you.”

  28.3—The Forever Secret

  Remembering Eve and Liam out in the family room, Em began to ease herself out of the desk chair. “We should, um…” she nodded her head toward the door. “See how Eve’s doing with um, Liam.” She took the envelope, the letter and the photos and put them into the center drawer of the desk. She’d secure them later, she thought.

  “Yeah,” Prairie agreed, standing up quickly. “She’s beautiful, Em. Eve. I mean, she’s so nice,” Prairie said with sincerity. “And she really loves you.”

  Em grinned and nodded her head slightly. “She does. I’m so…” Em sighed. “Lucky. Come on,” she said to Prairie, draping her arm affectionately around Prairie’s shoulders as they walked through the behemoth library doors.

  ~/~/~/~/~

  They entered the family room where Eve was sitting next to the sleeping Liam on the sofa. It looked as if she’d been napping as well. She smiled. Easily imagining Prairie in her younger days, almost as if they had met years and years ago, it was obvious to Eve what it was about Prairie Em had loved. She was attractive in a pretty, tomboy way, with a certain joie de vivre about her, despite the somber occasion. Em looked drained, but her love for Prairie was evident. After all these years, to finally meet the Super Woman she’d been hearing about for so long, Eve regretted it had to be under such terrible circumstances. Her heart was bursting with love for Em, and breaking for her at the same time. Whatever the bond she and Fiona had was all about, it had obviously been deep. The devastation over losing Fiona was evident in Em’s entire body.

  Eve stood up and embraced Em tightly as Prairie lowered herself into the club chair. Prairie ached to the deepest part of her seeing Em and Eve’s love for each other, obvious in every way between them. She was so happy for Em, but Em’s happiness only heightened the reality for Prairie that now, she was truly alone.

  “You okay, honey?” Eve asked Em. It was a rhetorical question because she knew she wasn’t. They sat down on the sofa, Em next to Liam.

  The three of them sat quietly, pondering the situation at hand, processing everything that had gone down up to that moment. Prairie began thinking about getting back to work, though she still had to settle Fiona’s estate. Eve was planning Liam’s room, wondering which one of the myriad rooms should be his, while Em thought about Fiona, the letter, its contents, and Eve.

  Eve knew every last detail of Em’s life except one: Em had never told Eve about her brief, but torrid love affair with Fiona. All Eve knew was that they had a special bond. A deep friendship. It never occurred to Eve that there might have been an affair between them. Eve didn’t believe Em was that kind of person, which was precisely why Em never told her about The Unspeakable.

  In Em’s mind, what happened with Fiona was not malicious or even underhanded, given the circumstances. Though she hadn’t specifically broken up with Prairie before having sex with and falling in love with Fiona, Em knew in her heart she didn’t cheat on Prairie. Prairie had been gone for months and months, breaking her promises, time and again, of coming back to Em to visit on a regular basis. More and more, with each passing day, they had drifted apart, and nothing they said ever changed the process, to the point Em considered herself all alone—unofficially single.

  If not for the impromptu reconnect with Prairie over the phone the day of The Unspeakable, Em might not have been so conflicted. Yet, always in the back of her mind, and in her heart, Em knew that once Prairie left for her dream job, they would never have a life together.

  What Em and Fiona shared in the shadow of Em’s fading relationship with Prairie could be considered unseemly to an outsider—to anyone who wasn’t either Em or Fiona. Illicit. Em just couldn’t take the chance that Eve might not understand, even for a moment. Knowing Eve as she did, she probably would understand, but then again, Em wasn’t willing to plant a seed of doubt when there was no reason. She loved Eve more than she had loved another human being, more than any other woman she’d ever been with or loved. Eve was Em’s everything. She was all of the women in Em’s life combined, and then some. To risk Eve looking at her differently, or doubting her, even in the slightest, for a millisecond, was not worth the risk of sharing her secret.

  Eve broke the silence. “Prairie, did you bring Liam’s things? His clothes, toys…”

  Prairie nodded her head with regret and sadness. “Yeah. They’re out in the rental. I also have Fiona’s portfolio… some other things of hers Liam probably should have right now. I’ll send the rest later, but… I was thinking I’d bring in what’s out in the car in the morning, but if…”

  “No, no… that’s fine. The rain should be cleared up by then, too,” Eve replied.

  “When do you have to be back at work, Prairie?” Em asked, looking at Prairie, thinking she had aged beautifully, remembering her from twenty years before.

  “I, uh… tomorrow… next week…” She shrugged listlessly. “I took a leave of absence. A month, but I…” Prairie felt as if she needed to get back to work sooner than later or she would go mad, if she didn’t drown in sorrow first. “Probably sooner.”

  Eve looked at Em. Em nodded.

  “Stay here with us, Prair,” Em said gently. “As long as you’re able.”

  “No, I really should…” Prairie began, suddenly conflicted.

  “Prairie,” Eve interrupted. Her tone was tender. “Liam doesn’t know us. We don’t know him. He knows you, and you know him. Stay and… help us get to know him, and… You three should have some time together, anyway. And… we should all spend some time together. We’re family now.” There was a welcoming kindness in Eve’s voice and her smile that truly touched Prairie.

  In a moment of extreme clarity, Em came to several, startling, realizations. It was possible to love Eve even more than she did already, and that Eve was even more amazing than she already knew. She still loved Prairie. She and Eve were suddenly mothers. Perhaps the more vital than any of those realizations was that no matter what, she would take her secret with Fiona to her own grave.

  Em pushed herself up off the sofa. “I’ll be right back. I need to…” she awkwardly excused herself and went directly to the library, leaving Prairie puzzled. She looked to Eve, questioning.

  Eve shrugged and smiled. “She does that.”

  Prairie smiled at how well they obviously knew each other. It made her happy for Em, and like Eve even more.

  ~/~/~/~/~

  Once in the library, Em went to her desk, opened the center drawer, and pulled out the letter, envelope and photos from Fiona. She took one last, heartbreaking look at the photos before carefully putting the letter and photos back into the envelope. Em closed her eyes and pressed the envelope up to her face, breathing deeply, pulling in the last bit of Fiona’s scent. She sighed deeply, fighting back the sob that caught in her tightening throat and the overwhelming urge to fall to the floor. Fiona gone forever was all too much to bear. Em closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

  After a few moments, she walked over to a built-in shelf near the far end of the library, and pulled out a first edition copy of Hemingway’s Across the River and Into the Trees. Em slid a section of the paneling behind the row of books aside, revealing a carefully concealed wall safe. Gingerly, she pulled several books off the shelf and set them on the floor in order to clear a way to the safe. Em quickly twirled the safe dial back and forth precisely several times, stopping on specific numbers, before she opened the safe to reveal a stack of important documents. She lifted the stack and slid Fiona’s envelope beneath them. She closed the door of the safe, twirled the dial, checking the handle to make sure the safe was locked, and then slid the secret panel back into place. Once the books were back on the shelf, Em returned to the living area.

  28.4—Love

  “There you are,” Eve said softly, mindful of the still sleeping Liam. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” Em replie
d as she crossed the room to the sofa. She didn’t want to lie to Eve, and hoped Eve wouldn’t pry. “I just—”

  “It’s okay, babe. Come on,” Eve lightly patted the space between her and Liam. “Sit with me.”

  Em sat down next to Eve less gently than she’d planned. She was tired and her leg gave out just before she landed, jostling Liam. Em grimaced, hoping she hadn’t disturbed him, but she had.

  “Mummy?” a sleepy little voice queried from under a pile of blankets. All three women looked in the direction of where Liam was sleeping and froze, not sure what to do. They’d been so wrapped up in their own grief and angst, they’d given no immediate thought as to what they would do once Liam woke up. He looked around the room, confused, seeing Prairie and two strange women staring at him—who looked as if they’d been crying, causing him immediate concern he didn’t understand.

  “Where’s Mummy, Annie?” he asked his Auntie Prairie with worry in his voice, his eyes blinking as he tried not to cry.

  It was in that moment Em knew there was no doubt whose child he was. His eyes, his hair, his face, his expression—he was the embodiment of Fiona in a scared, little boy. Em knew that face, but the worry that it showed, and the hint of fear in his little voice, broke her heart. Before she even thought of what to do she scooped him up into her arms, began rocking him gently, and said sweetly, “Hey, little man. Your mummy is sleeping.”

  “Sleeping?” he murmured, his voice barely audible as he looked into her big green eyes. “Who are you? Do you know my mummy?”

  “Yes, love. My name is Em, Liam. Your mummy is a very good friend of mine, and I’m going to take care of you for her, okay? Shhh… Go back to sleep, baby. Everything will be okay,” she whispered more to herself than to the child. “I promise.”

  Liam snuggled into Em and immediately fell back asleep. Em sat looking at the little boy in her arms, listening to his contented breathing, and in that moment, in the proverbial blink of an eye, Em had fallen in love.

  Eve and Prairie looked at each other, realizing they had just witnessed a breathtaking metamorphosis. Eve was moved to tears, watching Em fall in love with Fiona’s little boy—their little boy—right before her eyes. She put her arms around Em and Liam, snuggling into them. Prairie watched the new family with a mixture of love and longing. Em looked over at Prairie and smiled. She opened her free arm and gestured for Prairie to join them. Hesitant at first, Prairie finally rose from her chair and sat down next to Em. Em wrapped her arm around Prairie and pulled her close. Eve laid her hand on Prairie’s arm, with the clear intention to include her, which warmed Prairie’s heart beyond measure.

  Em sighed with her own contentment. In an instant, she felt her entire life change. She didn’t know exactly how, or to what degree, or what challenges were in store, but aside from the unexpected and unfathomable tragedy of losing Fiona, it felt… right.

  The four sat as a unit, connected, bonding in silence, and Eve was certain down to her marrow that Em was correct—everything was going to be okay. She smiled as a tear rolled off the bridge of her nose and onto Em’s shoulder, seeping into her sweatshirt. Yes, everything was going to be okay.

  EPILOGUE

  “Good morning, Iz,” Em said, greeting her housekeeper/surrogate mother/cousin with a big smile as she entered the foyer from upstairs.

  “‘Mornin’ to you,” Izzy replied, her eyes twinkling. “You’re lookin’ all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this mornin’, love.”

  Em chuckled as Izzy poured on the Irish brogue. “I am?”

  “‘Aye. What’s your itinerary today?”

  Em gave the plump, fifty-six-year old Izzy a quick hug and peck on the cheek. “We thought we’d go to Griffith Park, maybe the zoo. Liam was a little mopey yesterday, and nothing Eve or Prairie or I did managed to cheer him up, so…”

  “Poor wee lad,” Izzy frowned. “He’s missing his mum.”

  “He is, so much,” Em sadly agreed. “He knows something’s really wrong, but we don’t have the heart to tell him Fiona’s not just gone on a trip, but that she’s gone. Not yet.” Em still couldn’t believe it herself, but Prairie and Liam in residence for the last week and a half were proof of it.

  “Aw…”

  “Yeah. Anyway, Iz, I’m on my way outside to see if Xavien can help me move Liam’s car seat from Prairie’s rental to the Range Rover. Between the three of us yesterday, we couldn’t figure it out.” Em shrugged, somewhat embarrassed. “Something’s not working right.”

  Izzy gave Em a skeptical look.

  “I don’t know, Iz,” Em rolled her eyes, scoffing. “You know none of us are mechanical! In the meantime, would you mind asking Cookie to put together a nice little picnic lunch for us? After breakfast is fine. We won’t leave until maybe… ten? Do you mind?”

  “‘Can do.”

  “Great. Thanks, Izzy.” Em headed toward the front door just as the portable house phone in Izzy’s apron pocket began to ring.

  “What? Now who could this be at…” Izzy glanced at her wristwatch, “Not even seven in the morning? Hello? Martín residence.” Izzy listened and stared at Em. “Who shall I say is callin’? Oh, hello, Wave, darlin’! How are ya doin’? How’s your mum?” Izzy listened carefully. “Oh! Oh…” Her face immediately changed from amicable to serious. “Okay…” Izzy held the phone out to Em. “Mary-Mackenna, it’s Wave, he says it’s an emergency.”

  Em took the phone from Izzy. “Wave, honey, what’s up?” Em asked, her stomach instantly knotted.

  “Hey, Auntie. Uh, I hate to bother you so early, but um…” Waverly exhaled heavily. “Ma’s had a fall.”

  Em gasped. “Oh no! Wave, is she okay?”

  “No, no, not really. It was pretty bad,” Waverly’s voice sounded tired, smaller, less assured than normal.

  “When? How…” Em’s mind was racing, thinking the worst.

  “Five days ago. She fell down the stairs to the wine cellar.” Waverly winced. He hated thinking about Dot going down those concrete stairs head first. It made him sick to his stomach to think of it. “Shattered her shoulder and upper arm, dislocated her elbow and broke her wrist.”

  “What!?” Em was shocked.

  “She had surgery this morning,” Waverly quickly added. “They pinned and screwed her back together, but… she’s pretty banged up. They thought at first she might even have broken her leg or knee, but it’s just…”

  “Five days, Wave? Why didn’t you call us before now?” Em asked, exasperated, though she knew the answer before he gave it. Dot.

  Wave breathed out heavily. “You know Ma. She was adamant I wait until after the surgery, not wanting to bother you, you know, because of Liam and everything. And then after the surgery, she said to wait a little bit longer ‘cause she has this crazy idea she’ll be up and back at it in a few days. Stubborn cuss.”

  “Oh, Wave,” Em sighed. “So… how is she doing? What do you need?”

  “She’s… I um… I, uh. I just hate to ask…” Waverly suddenly felt vulnerable, having held everything together since Dot’s fall.

  “Wave, sweetie… ” Em said gently. “Tell me, whatever you need.”

  “I have to leave for my annual two week reserve duty in a few days, and…” Waverly hesitated, knowing that once he started down this road, there was no turning back.

  “Is she still in the hospital? Is she going to stay at a rehab center? Or…”

  “We have a huge favor, Auntie. It’s…”

  “Okay… tell me.”

  “Do you think you and Auntie Eve could come out and take care of Ma while I’m gone?” Waverly sighed.

  “Wave, we will absolutely come out there, but we’re not nurses. Shouldn’t she have…” It immediately occurred to Em, not knowing anything about Dot’s finances, that Dot may not be able to afford a private nurse. “I’ll get her a nurse, Wave. I’ll get her two, whatever she needs. Anything—”

  Waverly interrupted Em. “It’s not that, it’s… We have a… special situation here
that makes it… will make it impossible… for a stranger…”

  “What do you mean?” Em was getting an odd vibe from Waverly and didn’t understand it.

  “Ugh… I… I… it’s not a good idea to talk about it on the phone, Auntie…” Waverly glanced toward the door, suddenly paranoid.

  “Wave,” Em asked, her voice filled with concern. “What is wrong. You don’t sound like yourself, and…”

  “Ah, it’s a… Auntie, trust me. I know it’s out of the blue and all, but if you… could you come out and help us, with… you know, Ma? And… stuff…” he trailed off, hoping she wouldn’t ask him to elaborate on “stuff.”

  “Well, of course. We have Prairie here with us, and Liam…” Em began but was interrupted by Waverly.

  “Uh, how’s he doing?” Waverly asked, genuinely interested. He knew what it was like to lose a mother as child.

  “Oh, he’s really… amazing, Wave. I can’t wait for you and Dot to meet him. He’s…” Em smiled, immediately filled with warm feelings. He’s everything Dot said he would be, even before she knew there would be a Liam, Em thought.

  “He’s wonderful,” Em said, her heart full, but her concern for Dot and whatever Waverly couldn’t tell her on the phone was her immediate concern. “Okay, Wave. Where is Dot now?”

  “She’s still at Eisenhower… Medical Center. I, uh, I’m going to bring her home this afternoon. They want her to stay a little longer, but she’s spittin’ nails right now because she’s… bedridden. Don’t tell her I said that, because she hates that word. It’s not sitting very well with her.” Waverly laughed weakly.

  “Oh boy,” Em could just imagine how mad Dot was. “Well, at least she’ll be okay, right? Eventually?”