Freaky in Fresno

by Laurie Boyle Crompton

  * * *

  The movie is starting soon, so the ladies’ room is packed when I arrive to wash up.

  A basic Disney princess girl takes one look at me and bursts into tears. Her mother hustles her to the exit and gives me a loud humph as she moves past.

  The speaker in the bathroom comes to life and Jake’s voice fills the room.

  “Hello, ladies and gents, and welcome to the grand reopening of the magical and legendary Starlight Drive-in!” He sounds like an over-the-top gameshow host, and I smile as I listen. “Our main feature will be starting in just a few moments, so now is a good time to find your way back to your vehicle and settle in to enjoy the show.”

  I make my way against the flow of people leaving the bathroom and finally find myself clinging to the edge of the sink closest to the back wall.

  Jake continues talking overhead, suggesting a quick trip to the snack bar and reminding people to turn their key to the auxiliary position to avoid draining their car battery. “I forgot to do that once, and ouch.” He imitates a car engine unsuccessfully trying to turn over. “Although I will say, my adventure ended with an adorable meet-cute.”

  He’s talking about us. I grin so big at that I can feel my cheeks press against my bandages. I look up at my reflection in the mirror and shudder. No wonder I’ve been making children cry.

  The original distressing of my bandages is barely even visible underneath the grime and Fun Jell of the past few hours. My white eyes look absolutely haunting, and it’s easy to tell right where I face-planted into the kiddie pool because it looks like a gaping head wound.

  The contacts are bothering my eyes, so I unwrap enough of my head to put water on my face. As I slowly unwind the filthy rags, I half hope I’ve switched back to myself.

  Of course, I’m not shocked when I see Lana’s face emerge in the mirror instead of my own, but I do let out a sigh. The older woman next to me gives a consoling look to my reflection.

  “Long day?” she asks as she washes her hands.

  I give her a weak smile. “From beginning to end, it’s been just . . . freaky.”

  She smiles back at me, and something about her reminds me of Nona. “Well, you know what they say.” She winks. “A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it.”

  She cups her hands and allows the water to fill to overflowing.

  “Let me guess, fortune cookie?”

  She closes the faucet and turns to dry her hands. “Ancient proverb.”

  I say, “My Nona used to save those little paper fortunes and give them out to my cousin and me at just the perfect time . . .” but when I turn to look, the woman is gone.

  With another sigh, I turn on the cold water and cup my hands under the faucet.

  I think back to the adorable meet-cute Jake just shared with the whole Starlight drive-in. Me rescuing him. The way our eyes met as he placed the charging clips on the battery of his Bronco.

  I remember feeling glad for the excuse to talk to him and the way he seemed to take his time, letting the engines run as they stayed joined together. Feeding off of each other.

  I would hate to lose my relationship with him. Taking things to the next level is such a risk. And knowing that the Magical Kiss Under the Stars™ safety net isn’t foolproof makes this even scarier. I could seriously get hurt, and so could he.

  My mind rolls through the possibilities of how our relationship could end. Us growing apart. Wanting different things. The potential for rejection is infinite.

  But then I picture it going well. Jake and I sharing new experiences and adventures together. Trips to mini golf and Fat Jacks, maybe saving other drive-ins down the line. And I would not rule out a bit of classic horror cosplay.

  And then there are all the movies we will watch together—oh my goodness, the movies. Starting with this one here tonight.

  I stare at the water overflowing from my cupped hands and think of the old woman’s words. We all must change and adapt to our circumstances. Even impossible ones like Lana and I did today.

  With a sigh, I release the water, watching it all go down the drain together as one. Readapting and moving on.

  All of a sudden, the lights in the bathroom begin to flicker and I feel as if I’m being pulled backward and into the air.

  screech

  whoock

  zzzap

  Incredibly, I rise up and burst through the roof of the ladies’ room. For a split second I’m above all the rows of cars, facing the giant white movie screen that flashes with strobe lights. My stomach dips as I hover there for just a moment before being roughly thrust into the glittery bouncy castle.

  The inflated canvas floor rebounds a few times from the force of my landing and everything goes completely dim.

  “Am I dead?” I say out loud.

  A smooth voice answers, “Yes, and this is heaven, babe.”

  “Babe?” I raise my head, and in the reflection from the concession shack lights I see Erik leaning over me with a grin. I put a hand up to rub my eyes and realize I’m wearing sunglasses.

  I pull them off my face and turn them over in my hand incredulously. They’re Lana’s sunglasses.

  “I’m the Invisible Man,” I say, and laugh as I feel the silk robe I’m wearing. Despite my shock, my brain is able to register the fact that, “Wow, this is some quality silk.”

  “Are you feeling okay?” Erik stares at me strangely and adds, “You look different, Lana.”

  He’s trying to look into my eyes, and I immediately thrust the sunglasses back over them.

  “Actually,” I say, “I really need to go to the bathroom. Like, right away.”

  Erik laughs in a flirty way and leans in as if he’s about to kiss me.

  But I am not having that.

  Shoving him back away from me I say frantically, “I said right away. I have stomach issues!”

  “Oh!” Erik makes a face. “Sorry.”

  I swim my way toward the exit and awkwardly scramble out though the canvas opening.

  “Do you need help?” Erik calls.

  “Oh god no,” I say.

  “Sorry, Lana,” he says. “I hope you feel better.”

  I take off running full tilt toward the bathroom. My feet feel amazing in Wes’s old slippers, but one keeps falling off and I need to stop and slide it back onto my foot twice.

  I pull off my sunglasses and begin to unwind my head bandage as I burst into the bathroom’s entryway. I make my way along the pink-tiled hallway and hear someone screaming like they’re being murdered in a cult-classic slasher movie.

  When I round the corner to the bank of sinks, Lana is standing near the back wall. She’s covered in dirty bandages stained with Fun Jell, and her face is half unwrapped, and it is her face. Lana looks like Lana. And that must mean . . . I run to the mirror and lift my sunglasses and look into beautiful brown eyes.

  I let out a huge cry-laugh of relief.

  Lifting the remaining bandages off my head, I reveal my full face. My full face. “Hello, me,” I say.

  Lana is still frozen with her mouth open. Her face is white as she looks at me. “I thought we were dead,” she says. “Why am I covered in blood?”

  I give a small laugh. “Heh. It’s Fun Jell.”

  Lana reaches up and takes out one of the white contacts. She leans in close to the warped bathroom mirror, blinking quickly. Finally, she rests her forehead and palm on the mirror.

  “Wow, cuz,” I say. “Am I ever glad to see you in your own skin.”

  She turns from the mirror and runs to fling her arms around me. I feel like a hulking giant as she attempts to pick me up. “Nice try,” I tell her and easily spin her around.

  “Ricki, Ricki, Ricki,” she repeats over and over, and I echo, “Lana, Lana, Lana.”

  Taking a step back, she holds my face in her hands. “This was horrible, but I couldn’t have gotten through one minute of it without you.”

  I say, “And there’s no
body else I’d ever want to embody.”

  After a few more minutes of celebrating, Lana stops. “What do we do now?” she asks.

  “I think we exchange costumes and go back out there as ourselves.” I take off the silk robe and begin to unwrap the rest of my Invisible Man bandages. “Wow, your costume stayed so much cleaner than mine.”

  “No lie,” Lana says as she peels off layer after layer of Mummy filth and Fun Jell. “Did you really think this get-up needed to be grosser?”

  I laugh and tell her about the Jell-O prank gone wrong. As the two of us start helping each other exchange bandages, she describes the farewell video Erik helped her post on BubeTube. He filmed her painting a few kids’ faces as the Invisible Man and joked that this was her new makeup artist gig. And then she gave her fans a heartfelt goodbye.

  “I got honest about my anxiety and my need to take care of myself,” she says, handing me the white contacts.

  “Walking away for the sake of your mental health sets a great example to your fans.” I toss the white contacts into the trash. “You should be proud.”

  “I’ll admit I did find it empowering to admit I’ve only been showing the pretty parts of my life,” she says. “I warned viewers, ‘the shiny things we see in our feed do not tell the full story.’”

  “I love it! Helping to crush the lies of perfection and comparison.”

  “Well, I guess I was inspired by that thing Her Highness told us JLC did with her realistic photo shoot.” Lana stops reapplying her bandages to point a finger at me. “She’s more than just the Ultimate Scream Queen you know.”

  “Yes!” I punch the air. “You getting real about your struggles and imperfections will help set others free from the insecurity trap, cuz! I do believe you’re a dang hero.”

  Lana stretches a wide bandage across her forehead and begins rewrapping her face. “I’m ignoring the video’s comments, but I’ve already been getting alerts about a conspiracy theory circulating that it wasn’t really me making the announcement,” she says. “Erik thinks the rumor is the perfect subversive end to Lookie Lana! But little does he know, if people examine that video closely, they might put together I really am you in disguise.”

  “Nice mystery twist for your fans,” I say.

  “I thought you’d like that,” she says. “Oh, and I heard Jake’s meet-cute story! He better have been talking about when you two met.”

  I nod. “I’ll tell you all about it sometime.”

  “I want every detail,” Lana says. “It looks like you’re going to get your magical kiss under the stars tonight after all.”

  I draw in a deep, nervous breath. “If it was truly magic, I’d know exactly how my whole future will work out. What’s the fun in that?”

  “Wait,” Lana says. “So you are actually jumping in and risking rejection without some imaginary magical safety net?”

  “Yup,” I say. “Not allowing the fear of getting hurt stop me.”

  “Well then, I’m proud of you too, cuz,” Lana says.

  The two of us smile at each other and I put an arm around her.

  “It’s not easy for me,” I say. “But it helps having you as a safety net.”

  “That’s right,” Lana says. “No matter what!”

  I say, “Like I could show up with a dead body and I know that you will help me bury it.”

  “Why does everything end up being about dead bodies with you?” Lana laughs and shoves me away as she tucks a bandage under the collar of her robe.

  I say, “How about we just promise each other a road trip on demand whenever either of us needs it?”

  “You got it.” Lana grins. “And I know the perfect vehicle.”

  “Yeah, if we ever get it back from our moms!” We’ve both finished reapplying our costumes and I turn to face her. “Okay, how do I look?”

  Lana reaches up as if to fix something and then stops and makes a face. “Gross as can be,” she says. “And me?”

  I straighten the lapels of her silk robe. “You look lovely, and I’m going to need joint custody of this robe.”

  “We can definitely arrange a mutually agreeable schedule for sharing our Her Highness signature robe.” We laugh.

  “Yes,” I say. “I do believe we’ve finally learned to share.”

  Jake’s voice breaks in overhead and announces the previews are about to start. I point to the speaker and say, “I’m heading for the projection room. Wish me luck.”

  “Luck,” Lana says. “And I’m off to watch the movie with my boyfriend in the bouncy castle.”

  I wince. “About that,” I say.

  “Ricki? What’s wrong?”

  “I may or may not have implied to Erik that I had diarrhea when he thought I was you.”

  “You what?” Lana screeches, and I rush for the door.

  “I’m so sorry it was unavoidable and hey how about you get extra time with that robe.” My words mash together, and I take a steadying breath. “Don’t worry. Erik really, really likes you. I can tell.”

  “Yeah, he probably wouldn’t have hung in there today if things weren’t pretty solid,” Lana says as we walk out the bathroom exit.

  “Jake too,” I say. “It was quite a day.”

  The two of us hug. “I’ll see you after the movie,” she says as we continue holding on to each other.

  I whisper in her ear, “I promise to never let go again.”

  We squeeze our hug tighter a moment and then release one another.

  Lana teases, “Who are you? Rose from Titanic? You literally just said you’d never let go!” We laugh, and she turns toward the bouncy castle.

  “Oh, so you want me to come with you now?” I offer. “Maybe I can explain about the stomach issues?”

  “No, please,” she says. “No more helping.”

  I take two strides toward the projection booth and am engulfed by a walloping silky tackle hug from behind.

  “I love you, cuz,” Lana whispers.

  I barely have time to respond, “I love you too,” before she is off, skipping toward the bounce house in her Invisible Man outfit. I admire how strong her steps are despite the heels she’s now wearing and make a mental note to work on learning to walk in them.

  Because I have to admit, tall girls walking around in heels is kind of epic.

  On my way to the projection booth I pass our evil real estate villain, still standing at the open trunk of his car. He hasn’t noticed the liner so he’s still scooping the Fun Jell back into the kiddie pool with both arms. People are filming him and laughing as he calls out, “Come on! Are you kidding me?”

  I think, That will teach you to try to bury the Starlight’s magic under some big box store.

  Because now I truly believe the Starlight is magic. But the magic doesn’t come from some enchanted ability to protect hearts against heartache. It doesn’t make a no-risk love guarantee. The magic of the Starlight comes from the time spent here and the memories built.

  We are connected to it by the moment we’re sharing right now.

  I look around at the people sitting in chairs or inside their cars, some eating popcorn, as the preshow ads roll. Amused smiles spread across their lit-up faces while they watch cartoon hot dogs jump through hoops in the vintage snack commercial that’s playing onscreen. Wes insisted we keep the old-timey reel, so we should see a huge jump in quality once we switch to digital for the main feature.

  I open the door of the projector booth and find Jake standing behind the machine, watching the grainy-looking snack ads play.

  He’s taken off his Wolf Man makeup, and I watch his profile as the light from the projector plays across his features. His hair is messy and his flannel shirt is rumpled, and I can’t help but notice how far down it’s unbuttoned.

  “The wolf has turned back into a man,” I say.

  He turns to look at me and gives me a half smile that makes my stomach dip.

  After a beat he takes a step in my direction, and I’m glad I have all these bloody ba
ndages holding me together, because otherwise I’d probably explode from the way he’s looking at me right now.

  “Well, we did it,” he says in a deep voice as he moves in front of me. “The Starlight is saved.”

  I say, “For as long as we can possibly hold on.”

  He wraps his arms around my waist. “I guess you’re right. There’s no guarantee that the drive-in will still be going strong five years from now. Or ten. There will always be new real estate bad guys to thwart.”

  “All we have for sure is this moment right here,” I say. “But then, isn’t that what makes this special?”

  Jake leans closer. “It makes this magic.”

  There’s a click behind us.

  “Speaking of magical moments, the vintage reel is almost finished.” Jake moves back to the projector and I follow him. “Are you ready?” he asks.

  He reaches for my hand and places it on a plastic switch under his.

  Jake says, “Here we go.”

  I say, “Here’s hoping Gwen and Brad got this thing online and running right.”

  Jake gives me a nervous look and we keep steady eye contact as we count down together, “Three. Two . . . One!”

  Applying gentle pressure, we flip the switch and I feel a surge of happiness. The picture clicks ON and the film company logo whirrs to life on the giant screen outside.

  We both exhale together.

  I love the sense of starting something new, and it’s only right that Jake and I hit the control together.

  Looking out the small window at the movie, I say, “This is going to be good, I can tell.”

  “Yes, it is,” Jake agrees, but when I turn I realize he’s looking directly at me. “You took the white contacts out.”

  I bat my eyes at him and he laughs.

  Reaching up, he touches the bandage on my cheek and asks, “May I?”

  “You’ve had enough of the gore?” I tease, but help him unfurl the edge of my bandage.

  He continues unwrapping my head and I stop helping. Standing perfectly still, I hold my breath.

  Out of nowhere, I’m hit with the sudden fear that when he finishes I’ll be wearing Lana’s face again and everything will be even weirder than before.

  I feel the air on my cheeks and look up at him nervously, trying to read his expression in the flickering light reflected from the projector.