An Amish Singing

by Amy Clipston

“Oh, I hope I get to see her.” She glanced down and noticed Rosemary’s extended abdomen. It was rude to mention pregnancy, but Alice couldn’t hide her excitement.

  Rosemary touched her middle and grinned. “We’re so blessed.”

  “That’s fantastic,” Alice said.

  “It’s so gut to see you, Rosemary. You look great.” Mamm gave her a hug before Joyce did.

  “Danki.” Rosemary pointed to Alice’s pie plate. “What did you bring us?”

  “Oh.” Alice hesitated. “I actually made this for Dave.”

  Rosemary grinned again as she looked at her mother. “You didn’t tell me Dave was dating Alice.” She clapped her hands. “What happy news.”

  Alice shook her head. “We’re not dating. I just wanted to do something to cheer him up.” Alice pointed to the freezer. “May I put my pie in there until he gets home?”

  “Of course.” Annie opened the freezer. “What kind of pie is it?”

  Joyce grinned. “It’s frozen banana split pie. Even though it’s for Dave, I wonder if I can convince him to share a piece.”

  “I want a piece too.” Rosemary said.

  “We can only hope there’s some left,” Mamm added.

  Rosemary stepped toward the family room. “Let’s get started. I have a new quilt I want to show you all.”

  Mamm and Joyce followed Rosemary into the family room as Alice set the pie in the freezer.

  Then Annie placed her hand on Alice’s arm. “Danki for trying to get through to my Dave.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “He’s been so bedauerlich since the accident, and now he says he doesn’t belong in the community anymore.”

  Alice’s mouth dropped open as her greatest fear took hold. “Has he said he’s leaving?”

  “Not outright, but I’m afraid that’s what he might do.” Annie’s lower lip trembled.

  Alice’s blood ran cold as she imagined Dave packing up and leaving—and never seeing him again. “He can’t go.”

  “I pray he won’t.” Annie gave Alice’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Danki for being his freind. I believe he cares for you, and I think you’re the one who can convince him to stay and become an active member of our community again.”

  “With God’s help.”

  “That’s right.” Annie gestured toward the family room. “Now, let’s enjoy each other’s company before he gets home.”

  Worry and frustration slowed Alice’s steps as she followed Annie. If Dave truly was thinking about leaving, she had to convince him to stay—if only at first for the sake of everyone who cared so much about him. But was the love of his family and freinden enough when he was so broken?

  * * *

  Dave stepped into the mudroom later that afternoon and heard women talking and laughing. He quickly picked out his mother’s and sister’s voices, but as he made his way into the kitchen, he realized he heard more voices, and one of them belonged to Alice.

  Alice.

  An image of her beautiful face had twirled through his mind every day since he last saw her. And at times, he’d considered visiting her, perhaps in the evening so they could sit on the porch and talk like a couple.

  He closed his eyes and grimaced. Why did he keep torturing himself with those thoughts?

  At the sink, he washed his hands even though he’d cleaned up in his workshop before coming into the house. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a piece of watermelon, then leaned against the counter and bit into the sweet, juicy fruit as he peered into the family room. He spotted Alice sitting next to Rosemary as they worked on a quilt together. Dorothy and Joyce worked on another quilt beside them.

  Nancy sat on the floor, playing with a doll. She was so sweet, and she looked just like her mother. She was an angel to Dave, and soon she would be a big sister. Dave was certain she’d be a good big sister, just like Rosemary had always been to him, and she would be patient as she guided her younger sibling in learning the rules of the house and community.

  His eyes found Alice again. She looked stunning wearing a royal-blue dress with a black apron. If only things were different . . .

  After finishing his snack, Dave disposed of the watermelon rind and then washed his hands again.

  He heard footsteps behind him.

  “You got home from work early today.”

  Dave glanced over his shoulder and found Alice smiling. A strange tingling filled his chest. “Hi, there. I didn’t expect to see you today.” He pivoted to face her.

  “Your mamm didn’t tell you we were having a quilting bee today?” She gestured toward the family room.

  “No, she didn’t.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “Or she did, but I wasn’t listening.”

  She pointed a finger at him. “I bet that’s the truth.”

  “You’re probably right.” He was surprised at how easy it was to smile around her. “What are you working on?”

  “It’s a Wedding Ring design one of mei mamm’s customers ordered for her dochder’s wedding in the fall. You know how Englishers love that design.” She tilted her head. “How was your day?”

  “Gut.” He shrugged. “We finished a basement for another new haus. We have to go back and brick the outside once the rest of the walls are up.”

  “Oh.” She nodded but seemed to be contemplating something else. “I bet it looks great.”

  He shrugged again. “Did you go singing last week?”

  He shouldn’t have given her an opening to invite him to join them again, but he was interested in her life.

  Her expression brightened. “We did. We sang for a couple of members of the congregation and then we sang at a supper at Sharon’s haus last Thursday.” She held up her finger again. “Do you want to come with us when we sing at her haus again later this week?”

  He shook his head. “You won’t be surprised to hear me say no, I don’t.”

  “But you have such a nice voice. When we sang in school, you were the best of the buwe.”

  He gave a nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. Her compliments made him feel itchy all over. “I think you’re remembering wrong. I always hid in the back when we had to sing. I couldn’t stand it when we put on a program for our parents.”

  “Nope, I’m right.” She tapped her temple. “I clearly remember that. Even Teacher Miriam said you had a lovely voice. That’s why you should join us. Besides, we need another man in the group.”

  He looked down at his feet again and shook his head. “Danki, Alice, but I don’t think so. I really don’t belong with you all.”

  “But you do. You do belong.”

  He looked into her brown eyes and felt something inside him shift. Then he shook off the feeling. They could never be together. Never.

  “I just don’t think it’s a gut idea,” he said.

  “I brought you something.” She walked over to the freezer and opened it. “It’s my first time making this dessert, so I hope it’s gut.” She held out a pie plate. “It’s frozen banana split pie.” She held it up and gave him a tentative smile.

  “Wow.” Her kindness tugged at his heart.

  She set the pie plate on the counter. “I’m sorry if it’s terrible.”

  “I doubt it’s terrible.” He lifted the lid and studied the pie. It looked perfect. The whipped cream icing was decorated with chocolate sauce and cherries, and it smelled heavenly. He glanced at her. “Will you have a piece with me?”

  “Well, it has to defrost for fifteen minutes before we can slice it.”

  “What if we warm up a knife?” He grabbed one from the block on the counter and ran it under hot water.

  “I suppose we could do that.” She laughed. “I’ll find plates and spoons.”

  Once he thought the knife was hot enough, he pushed it through the pie and then used a server to put a piece on each of their plates. After Alice said a silent prayer, they both dug in. He closed his eyes and let the sweet, cold taste slide over his tongue and down his throat.

  When he opened his eyes, he found Alice st
udying him, as if praying he’d like it.

  “This pie tastes amazing, Alice.” He shook his head as he tried to form the right words. “It might be the most appeditlich pie I’ve ever had.” He glanced back toward the doorway. “Please don’t tell mei mamm, okay? She’d be upset to hear that.”

  Her smile returned. “Your secret is safe with me. Unfortunately, your mamm and schweschder have seen it, so you might have to share it. But I can make you another pie.” She gave him a coy expression. “If you join us for a singing, I’ll make you two more pies.”

  “I can’t, Alice. But I appreciate your persistence.” He ate another bite. He wanted to keep talking to her, but he had to change the subject. “Where did you find this recipe?”

  She swallowed a bite and then leaned back against the counter. “It’s in mei mammi’s favorite cookbook. I enjoy going through her recipes, and I wanted to make something different for you.”

  His heart felt as if it might explode. She chose a special recipe just for him. Why was she continuing to go out of her way for him? In his worst moments, he thought of himself as not much better than a murderer. And his idea of their ever being a couple? She could do so much better than him!

  “I’d never made it, but mei mamm encouraged me to try.” She glanced at the remainder of the pie. “It’s not perfect, but it came out pretty well.”

  “Actually, it is perfect.” He took a step toward her and set his plate and fork on the counter. Just like you, Alice.

  She looked up at him, and her eyes widened. He reached for her cheek but then stopped his hand in midair. Her breath seemed to come in short bursts, and his pulse trotted. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming, as an invisible magnet seemed to be pulling him toward her. Then his fingers brushed her cheek, and he leaned closer, close enough to feel her breath on his lips. His heart felt as if it might beat its way through his rib cage.

  Footsteps sounded behind him.

  “I really had a nice afternoon, Annie,” Dorothy said.

  Alice snapped to attention, then pivoted away from him and gathered their plates before setting them in the sink.

  Dave pushed his hand through his hair as he moved three steps away from her and scooped up their utensils, plus the knife, before setting them in the sink as well, careful not to touch Alice.

  “It was nice to get caught up with you,” Mamm said. “Oh, David! You tried a piece of that pie. How was it?”

  “Positively appeditlich.” Dave was aware that his voice was a bit too loud. He looked at Alice and found her scrubbing the plates in the sink a little too hard. “I’m going to have a difficult time sharing it.”

  Dorothy chuckled as she walked over to Alice and touched her arm. “And here you were afraid it hadn’t come out right!”

  “I’m just grateful Dave liked it.” Alice gave a little shrug as she rinsed the dishes. She stole a glance at Dave, and her cheeks were flushed. She looked adorable.

  “We should get going,” Dorothy said. “It’s almost time to make supper.”

  “I’m glad you could come today,” Mamm told her. “It was so gut to see you all.” She pointed at Alice. “You stop washing those dishes. I’ll take care of them.” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, and I have the container you left here when you brought the carrot kuche. I don’t want you to forget that.” She retrieved it from the pantry.

  “Danki.” Alice glanced past Dave to where Rosemary stood in the doorway, holding Nancy. “Take care, Rosemary. Your dochder is adorable.”

  “We hope to see you very soon,” Rosemary said, her tone sounding as though she was saying something more significant.

  Alice looked at Dave, and he longed to ask her to stay so they could sit on the porch until the lightning bugs made their appearance.

  “Enjoy your pie, Dave,” she said as she took the cake container from his mother.

  “I will.” He smiled, and she returned the gesture.

  Dave said good-bye to Dorothy and Joyce, and soon all three guests were leaving the house with his mother in tow.

  “You should ask her out.”

  Dave turned toward his sister. “What did you say?”

  “Come on, Dave. I’m not blind.” She set Nancy on her booster seat and then handed her a handful of crackers. “Alice cares about you, and you care about her. You two were always gut freinden. I remember clearly how you used to play together at school and how you gravitated toward each other at youth gatherings. She brought you a pie, and I imagine you’re the reason her mamm planned this quilting bee today.”

  “Why would you say that?’

  “Because Alice kept glancing out the window all afternoon. I’m certain she was looking for you.” Rosemary leveled her gaze with his. “So what are you waiting for? If you don’t ask her out, she might find someone else.”

  The thought of Alice with another man sent bile racing to his throat. But that was what she needed—a good, Christian man who hadn’t made the mistake he had.

  “She deserves someone better than me,” Dave muttered as he headed toward the stairs.

  “Why would you say that?” Rosemary followed him. “You’re a gut man with a great future in Dat’s company. You’ll be a fantastic husband and provider. I know your heart, Dave. You’ve always had a gentle, giving soul.”

  Dave spun toward her as fury boiled in his gut. “You know what I did,” he growled.

  Rosemary blanched. “Are you talking about Adam?” She waited a beat, and when he didn’t respond, she added, “That wasn’t your fault, and you know it.”

  “It was my fault. I’m the one who thought the pond was safe, and it wasn’t. Now, I’m going to take a shower.” He started up the stairs.

  “David,” she called after him. “Stop punishing yourself when God and everyone else has forgiven you.”

  “If only it were that easy,” he whispered.

  Chapter Eight

  When the men’s after-service meal ended Sunday afternoon, Dave walked beside his father toward the barn exit. Then a woman called his name, and he recognized her voice.

  Esther Fisher.

  He kept moving forward, stepping into the sunlight.

  “David Esh!”

  “Don’t you hear her?” Dat halted and put his hand on Dave’s shoulder to stop him.

  Dave’s throat dried. Adam’s mother must be visiting their church service today. Why hadn’t he stayed home?

  “Ya, but I can’t talk to her. I won’t be able to bear it.”

  Dat shook his head. “You need to hear her out.”

  Dave turned around just as Esther caught up with them. He didn’t understand why her expression was so . . . pleasant. She had to hate him.

  “Dave, why haven’t we seen you since the funeral? It’s been months.”

  Why would her family want to see him?

  “I-I’ve been busy.” He could hardly get out the words.

  “Working for your dat?” Smiling, Esther divided a look between Dave and his father.

  “Ya.” He rubbed at a tight muscle in his neck.

  “That’s gut.” Esther seemed to study him, and he longed to hide under a nearby buggy. “You look well.”

  He shrugged.

  “You should come by the haus. Kevin misses you.”

  Dave blinked. “He . . . he does?”

  “Of course he does. He and Adam always loved spending time with you.”

  Hearing Esther say Adam’s name as though it was no more difficult for her now than when her son was alive felt like a knife to his heart.

  “Kevin wants so badly to talk to you. He feels guilty because the buwe convinced you they were better skaters than they were. Then when he fell, you had to help him, and that’s when—”

  “It’s my fault, not Kevin’s.” Dave took a shaky breath as tears stung his eyes. “You counted on me to keep the buwe safe, and I failed you.”

  “Dave, don’t you know we don’t blame you for Adam’s death?” Esther put her hand on his shoulder. “No one does. You ne
ed to forgive yourself. I had no idea you felt this way, or I would have come to you long ago. I wish your mamm had told me—”

  Dave’s breath came in quick bursts as he took a step away from her, evading Dat’s attempt to stop him. “I need to go.” He turned and ran to his buggy without looking back.

  * * *

  “You never told us what happened when you saw Dave on Tuesday,” Sharon said as she sat on her back porch with Alice and Darlene that afternoon.

  Alice rocked back and forth as she gazed toward Sharon’s pasture, watching the horses play. The sky was a bright azure dotted with white, puffy clouds, and birds sang in nearby trees.

  “Well, Mamm, Joyce, Annie, Rosemary, and I had a nice time quilting. I took Dave a frozen banana split pie, and when he got there, he and I ate some out in the kitchen.”

  And he almost kissed me!

  Goose bumps raced up Alice’s arms, and her cheeks nearly burst into flames at the recollection of how close his lips had come to hers. And oh, how she’d wanted him to kiss her! She’d dreamt about how that would feel. But then the other women had come into the kitchen, and the moment was lost.

  “And . . .” Darlene said, prompting more.

  Alice pulled at a loose string on the hem of her apron to avoid their eyes. “Well, he loved the pie. And we talked a bit, but he says he won’t come to a singing.”

  “Did you invite him to come here and play games?”

  “No. I didn’t see him after church today. He must have left early. Did you see Esther Fisher there? I wonder if he saw her and just took off. It can’t be easy for him to be around her.”

  “Oh, maybe he did,” Darlene said.

  “But he seemed a little happier on Tuesday.”

  “That’s because of you,” Sharon said.

  Surely Darlene didn’t know . . .

  Alice shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Sharon’s right,” Darlene chimed in. “I think you’ve touched his heart.”

  “Uh, maybe.” Alice broke off the string. “I feel like I’m making some progress with him, but . . . it’s slow.”

  “I’m sure you are.” Darlene touched her arm. “Don’t give up.”

  “I won’t. And I’m going to keep praying for him too.”