An Amish Singing

by Amy Clipston

  Elaine smiled.

  “He loves pumpkin,” Raymond chimed in. “This is his favorite time of year.”

  “It’s Elaine’s too,” Calvin said.

  Elaine turned toward Calvin again. “You remember I told you that in Darlene’s store?”

  “How could I forget?” Calvin sliced his steak. “What do you like about the fall?”

  “I love how the leaves change.” She scooped a pile of mashed potatoes and dropped it onto her plate. “How the air smells. And how the nights get cooler.” She passed the bowl to Calvin and found him looking at her with an intensity that made goose bumps dart up her arms. “What?”

  “I feel the same way.” He took the bowl from her.

  Elaine turned her attention to her meal, all the while trying to stop her pulse from zooming.

  Calvin was so handsome, and he seemed to like her, not just be flirting with her. But how could she trust any man after the way Lewis had betrayed her—and with Rhoda? And how did she know Calvin truly liked her when he and Darlene seemed to be sharing secrets? It was just too risky to allow him into her heart.

  “Elaine,” Edna began, “what do you think of Bird-in-Hand so far?”

  After she swallowed a piece of steak, Elaine said, “It seems very nice.”

  “I love the little downtown area on Old Philadelphia Pike with the shops and restaurants,” Mamm added. “And everyone seems so friendly in our church district.”

  “Everyone is glad you’re here,” Edna said.

  “Ya, we are,” Calvin chimed in.

  Elaine did her best to focus on what Edna was saying. But she had a sinking feeling. She’d have a tough time avoiding Calvin but an even tougher time denying how her attraction toward him was intensifying.

  Chapter Five

  Cal couldn’t take his eyes off Elaine during supper. He studied her long neck and gorgeous profile—her high cheekbones, her pink lips, her cute little nose.

  His mouth dried as he looked down at his plate. Though he had no good reason to hope she’d ever like him as more than a friend, he couldn’t deny the intense feelings swelling in his heart. And he still wasn’t sure she’d ever even consider him a friend.

  When they’d finished eating the main course, Mamm made coffee and Elaine served her pie. Cal enjoyed the delicious dessert while his parents continued to pepper the Lantzes with questions about their community in New Wilmington.

  Elaine seemed shy, almost uncomfortable in her own skin as she gave terse answers to the questions directed at her. She clearly did not like to talk about herself. And he was sure she had no idea how beautiful she was.

  When the pie was gone—every piece—and their mugs were empty, Elaine helped Mamm and Lovina clear the table.

  “Abram,” Dat said. “Let’s go sit on the porch.” Then Dat turned to Cal and Ray. “We’ll enjoy this evening out there.”

  Cal stood and headed out behind the other men. When he reached the doorway to the family room, though, he stopped and looked back at Elaine. She met his gaze and gave him a bashful smile, causing warmth to spread in his chest. He had to find a way to get her alone so they could talk. But how?

  The question spun through his mind as he grabbed his jacket, then stepped onto the front porch, where Dat, Abram, and Ray had already chosen rockers. The sun had begun to set, sending brilliant hues of orange and red across the cloudless sky.

  He sat in the swing at the far end of the porch, next to Ray’s chair. He pushed it into motion as he stared at the horizon, but he felt unsettled and anxious. He wanted to go back inside, take Elaine’s hand, and lead her out back, where they could sit and talk on a bench without an audience. But could he do that without embarrassing her? He didn’t think so.

  “How do you like working in Mel’s shed shop?” Dat asked Abram.

  “Very much,” Abram responded. “Our dat was a carpenter, and he assumed that both Mel and I would follow in his footsteps. He was surprised and not too froh when I moved to New Wilmington and worked on my father-in-law’s dairy farm instead.”

  Dat chuckled. “I bet he was. I was just telling the family I’ve noticed that shop stays busy all year round.”

  Cal tried to pay attention while the two older men talked, but it was sweet torture to be stuck out here while Elaine was inside. If only he had an excuse to return to the kitchen.

  “Cal,” Ray whispered. “Are you all right?”

  Cal stopped the swing and faced his brother. “Ya.”

  Ray studied him. “You look . . . twitchy.”

  “I am.” Cal was careful to keep his voice low. “I asked Mamm to invite the Lantz family over so I could get to know Elaine. But I haven’t had a moment to talk to her alone.”

  A smirk took over Ray’s face. “You do like her.”

  Cal refused to let his younger brother get the best of him. “Ya, I do.”

  Ray shrugged. “So go inside and get her.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” Ray leaned toward him. “Ask her if she wants to go for a walk.” He pointed toward the pasture. “Then take her around the farm and—”

  “Give her a tour.” Cal finished the thought.

  “Exactly.”

  Cal stood as excitement fueled his resolve. “You’re brilliant.”

  Ray shrugged. “I know.”

  Shaking his head, Cal headed back into the house and peered into the kitchen. Lovina was washing dishes, Mamm was drying, and Elaine was wiping down the table.

  Mustering every bit of his courage, he strode to Lovina and tapped her on the shoulder.

  She looked up at him and smiled. “Calvin. Hi.”

  “Hi.” He nodded at Elaine, who was watching him with curiosity flickering over her face. “May I borrow your dochder?”

  He glanced at Elaine just in time to see her bite her lower lip and twist her finger around one of the ribbons on her prayer covering.

  “So long as she doesn’t mind,” Lovina said. “We’re almost done cleaning up here.”

  Cal smiled at Elaine. “I’d like to give you a tour of the farm.”

  “That would be nice,” she said.

  He was surprised she’d so readily agreed—but he was happy.

  He glanced at his mother, and she winked.

  Elaine placed the soiled dishcloth she’d been using on the counter next to her mother. “I just need to grab my jacket on our way out.”

  He waited while she donned her wrap, then he pushed open the screen door and moved out of the way so she could step onto the porch. When he glanced at Ray, his brother gave him a thumbs-up. He glared at him, hoping Elaine hadn’t seen the gesture.

  “Where are you two headed?” Abram asked.

  “Calvin is going to give me a tour of the farm,” Elaine told him.

  “Enjoy,” Dat said.

  Cal lifted a lantern, and then as he started down the steps beside Elaine, he looked out at the sunset again and smiled. “I love sunsets.”

  “I do too.”

  He gave her a sideways glance, noting how the color of her dress made her hair seem darker. “You look schee in red.”

  “Oh.” She glanced down and then gave him a sheepish expression. “Danki.”

  As they headed toward the line of barns, he pointed out which ones held supplies and which ones housed animals. He also pointed to the stables and talked about the horses. She nodded and seemed interested, but he worried he might bore her.

  When they reached the edge of the pasture, he gestured toward the bench he’d envisioned sitting on earlier. “Why don’t we sit?”

  “Okay.”

  They lowered themselves onto the seat, then silence stretched between them as they both stared toward the far end of the pasture. Cal discreetly took in Elaine’s posture, now rigid and tense as if she were sitting next to a complete stranger. He couldn’t get a handle on her behavior, but he recalled what Uria had told him. He racked his brain for a way to get her to open up.

  “Do you really like Bird-in-H
and?” he finally asked. “Or were you just being nice?”

  She turned toward him. “Ya, I do like it. Why do you ask?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just get the feeling that you don’t want to be here. Do you miss your freinden in New Wilmington?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t miss mei freinden, but I do miss mei haus. I grew up there, and it was bigger than the daadihaus we’re in now—” Worry flashed over her face. “Does that sound prideful, to compare homes that way?”

  “No, it’s not prideful. If you grew up in a bigger haus, then of course you would not only feel an attachment to it but appreciate its qualities.”

  More silence filled the space between them. Cal’s mind wandered as he recalled how Elaine had refused Darlene’s invitation to the supper at Sharon’s house that day in the dry goods store. Even if she’d been hurt by people where she lived before, was that enough to make her so reluctant to make new friends?

  “I’ve known all my closest freinden since school,” he finally told her. “We’ve grown up together.”

  She looked down at her lap and picked at a stray thread. “That’s nice.”

  “We especially enjoy our singings for people and at the suppers for Englishers. We think they’re meaningful too. You really should come. The best part, though, is eating the leftover food once the guests leave.”

  He grinned, but Elaine’s expression was serious when she looked up at him.

  “Why are you so determined to get me to go to those?”

  He stared at her, stunned at her blunt question. Then he mentally shook himself. “You’re new here, and you must be lonely. Everyone needs a freind.”

  She gave a wry smile and shook her head. “I’m not gut at picking freinden.”

  “What do you mean?” He leaned toward her, hoping she would share what happened to her in New Wilmington, especially if what Uria thought happened did.

  She sighed and looked out toward the pasture again. “Back in New Wilmington, I had a boyfriend. His name is Lewis. I’d had a crush on him for a long time, and he finally asked me out last year.” She kept her eyes trained on the pasture as darkness crept in around them. “I thought everything was going well between us, but then . . .”

  “What happened?” Cal reached down and flipped on the lantern, illuminating her face with a soft, yellow glow.

  She looked down at her lap again, and her mouth formed a thin line before she went on. “I thought he cared about me, even loved me, but he decided he wanted to be with my best freind, Rhoda. They were sneaking around and seeing each other before he broke up with me.”

  Cal shook his head in anger. Uria had heard right. “Why would he pick anyone over you?”

  She looked up at him. “Danki, but that’s what he did. And it was worse than that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Elaine shook her head, and he was almost certain he spotted tears in her eyes. “To hide what they’d done, Rhoda and Lewis made up lies about me, telling everyone Lewis had gut reason to break up with me. Mei freinden not only believed the lies but stopped inviting me to join them in activities. I wouldn’t even know about them. I was an outcast.” Her voice trembled. “By the time we moved away, I had no one to trust.”

  He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out for a moment. “That’s horrible,” he finally said.

  She sniffed and looked away. He felt the urge to touch her, comfort her, but he kept his distance. After somehow earning a little of her trust, he didn’t want to scare her away.

  “Elaine, I hate that you were hurt that way. But none of those people were truly freinden to begin with if they believed the lies and rejected you.”

  She stared down at the bench. “That’s what mei mamm keeps telling me, but it still hurts. Like you, I’d known mei freinden since school. I still can hardly believe it.”

  “I’m certain it hurts.” He took another breath. “I hope you’ll give me and mei freinden a chance. I promise we’ll never treat you that way.”

  She looked up at him and nodded, but he was almost certain he saw doubt in her gorgeous eyes.

  * * *

  Elaine bit back a groan. Why had she just poured out her deepest secrets to Calvin? She’d allowed herself to get lost in his beautiful eyes and dazzling smile. And now she was vulnerable. Surely he’d wind up hurting her no matter what he said.

  Calvin started telling her more about the horses his family bred and sold and then explaining the process of training them. Elaine listened with interest, but at the same time, she resumed her guard.

  After they sat on the bench a while longer, Calvin stood and picked up the lantern. “Why don’t we head back to the front porch?”

  She thought she should probably join Edna and Mamm inside the house, but Calvin encouraged her to sit with him on the swing so Raymond could get to know her too. She did, listening to his brother force small talk, until Dat announced it was time to leave. They all stepped inside.

  “We’ve had a wunderbaar time,” Mamm told Edna.

  “You’re always welcome here.”

  “Danki.”

  Dat shook Harvey’s hand. “I enjoyed meeting you and seeing your farm.”

  “We enjoyed your company.”

  Elaine turned toward Calvin and found that same intense look in his eyes. She shivered. “Danki for the tour, Calvin.”

  “Didn’t I tell you mei freinden call me Cal?” When he shook her hand, he held on for a moment longer than necessary, making her determined she’d never allow herself to think of him so casually.

  “I hope to see you soon,” he added.

  Elaine turned to his brother. “Gut nacht, Raymond.” Then she followed her parents outside to their buggy and climbed into the back.

  “What a lovely evening,” Mamm said as they pulled away. She was practically gushing. “I really like Edna.” She glanced behind her at Elaine. “It seemed like you and Calvin were getting along well.”

  “Ya.” Elaine gave a half shrug, but her heart was screaming. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple at the truth. She was developing feelings for Calvin—especially after he seemed to understand how much she’d been hurt. But that didn’t mean she could trust him, and she prayed for the resolve to protect her heart.

  * * *

  “So?” Mamm asked Cal as the buggy taillights disappeared down the driveway. “How did it go?”

  Cal glanced to his right and spotted Dat and Ray already entering one of the barns, a lantern guiding their way.

  “They’re gone. You can be honest with me.” Mamm looked hopeful.

  “We sat on a bench by the pasture and talked a little.”

  “That’s gut, right?”

  “It is, but she was really hurt by a boyfriend back in New Wilmington.” Renewed anger boiled in his gut when he thought about what Elaine had been through. “It won’t be easy to earn her trust.”

  “But she opened up to you. That’s a huge step.”

  “I hope so.”

  Chapter Six

  “Hi, Arnold. Want to help me check the mail?” Elaine asked the orange tabby as he strolled beside her to the mailbox nearly two weeks later.

  She shivered in the crisp November air and folded her jacket around her body. She should have grabbed a heavier coat instead. Glancing up, she found dark clouds populating a gray sky, not the clear blue sky she’d enjoyed yesterday. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have a good Wednesday. Any week still held promise in the middle.

  The cool, metal mailbox door squeaked as she opened it. Then Arnold plopped at her feet and meowed as she leafed through a pile of letters.

  Elaine stilled when she found a white envelope addressed to her. The return address was New Wilmington, and she recognized it. The handwriting looked familiar as well. She ripped open the envelope and huffed when she found the letter really was from Lewis. “Arnold,” she whispered. “I can’t believe this.”

  Her eyes scanned the page as she cupped one hand to her
mouth.

  Dear Elaine,

  I visited your great-aunt Thelma yesterday and asked how you’re doing. She said your mother included a letter in a birthday card, saying you’re doing fine. I hope it’s okay that I asked her for your address. I know you might not be happy to hear from me, but I need to get a few things off my chest.

  First, I was wrong to betray you. I know you truly loved me, and I’ve realized now that I’ve always loved you. If only I’d been mature enough and smart enough to see that.

  Sneaking around with Rhoda was not only wrong but cruel, and it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. You are the love of my life. You’re pretty, kind, intelligent, and genuine. I was blind when I left you for her, and I regret everything I did to hurt you. You deserve a man with integrity. I’m hoping you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I don’t merit your forgiveness, but if you’ll give me another chance, I promise I’ll treat you right and be the man you need.

  I broke up with Rhoda soon after you moved away, and we agreed we were wrong. She wants to apologize to you, too, and maybe you’ve already heard from her.

  Please think about what I’ve said, and if you can forgive me, write back or call. I’ll understand if you can’t give me another chance, but just know that I am sorry, and I’ll spend the rest of my life missing you and regretting what I did.

  Always,

  Lewis

  Elaine blinked and rubbed her eyes before reading the letter again. She glanced down at Arnold, and the cat blinked at her. “This is absurd. I need to tell Mamm.”

  Then as a wave of anger rose with each step, she hurried off and jogged up the back steps. Mamm sat in the kitchen making a shopping list.

  “You will not believe this!” Elaine slapped the letter on the table, and Mamm jumped. “Read this.”

  Mamm’s eyes couldn’t have grown much wider. “Elaine. You startled me.”

  “I’m sorry.” She dropped into the chair across from her mother and pointed to the letter. “This is just . . . Ugh!” She dropped the other letters on the table and shook her head.