Secrets of the World's Worst Matchmaker

by Piper Rayne

“I’m serious. We just got together. Let’s enjoy this. What if…”

  “I hate your what-ifs,” he mumbles and bites his sandwich.

  “What?”

  He finishes chewing and digs paperwork out of his bag. “Forget it. We have something else to talk about anyway. I did something, and I don’t want you to say no right away. I want you to listen to my argument.”

  He tosses some papers on my desk and I read the first line, realizing Savannah and Mrs. Stone aren’t the only ones to figure out I’m a failure.

  * * *

  Loan Agreement

  * * *

  As I scan the document, there’s no mention of Four Paws, but there is a loan amount issued to Colton Stone personally. I inhale, trying not to let anger take over, but you know what they say about redheads—we’re fiery.

  Twenty-Seven

  Colton

  * * *

  I wasn’t going to present the loan to her in this way, but she pissed me off with her what-ifs. Why the hell can’t she just move in with me? Hell, I’ll take her brother too. Rent-free if he wants. I just want her. But I’m starting to realize I may have gotten her out of her desperation to not see me with someone else, but I don’t truly have her because she doesn’t want to think about our future.

  “I’m not accepting this.” She hands the papers back to me.

  When I refuse to take my hands off my sandwich, she tosses the loan docs on top of the sandwich wrappers, dousing them with mayonnaise and seasoning.

  “Damn it,” I say, picking them up with one hand. “I know you’re not making your bills.”

  She finishes chewing her bite and narrows her eyes at me. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Yes, it is. You’re my girlfriend and I want to help you.”

  “Is that loan big enough for Four Paws too?”

  “No.” I lean back in my chair. “I don’t have enough collateral. It’s strictly for you and SparkFinder, but I’m talking to Dr. Murphy next week when he returns from Portland. I’m sure we can figure out an arrangement.”

  “How do you know he won’t find someone else?” She crosses her arms. She’s dressed down today in a pair of leggings and a top that covers that ass I love.

  “There is no one else.”

  “He could find someone. It’s a vet business in a small town with no competition. Call the bank and tell them you want to apply for a business loan, not a personal loan.”

  “No.”

  “Damn you, Colton.” She smacks her desk with an open palm. “Why?”

  “Because you deserve it. Because you love being a matchmaker and I don’t want to see your dream die.”

  She looks up. “And it’s okay that your dream dies?”

  I shrug. “My dream is just postponed. Not dead.”

  She stands and paces in front of her desk. “How did you know?”

  “I saw an email and the past-dues when Earl dropped off the mail. The real question is why didn’t you tell me?” It feels like a knife in the heart. Are we going to spend our entire life like this, where she doesn’t tell me what’s bothering her? “I’m supposed to be your confidant.”

  She throws her hands in the air. “We’ve been dating a week.”

  I throw my arms in the air. “We’ve been best friends since we were six.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Cute, Colton.”

  “I thought so.” I sit smugly in my chair, my own sandwich untouched now. “Why do you keep everything inside? I don’t understand.”

  She walks over to the picture of her Aunt Etta—or should I say shrine, because although it’s only a picture, Juno looks at it as if Etta’s her savior.

  “I’m not sure I want to be a matchmaker and because of that…” She turns around and crosses her arms. “I’m closing SparkFinder. I won’t accept your loan. Use it to fulfill your dream.”

  “What?” What the hell does she mean she’s closing up shop?

  She shakes her head. “My decision is made. I’m going to continue to do the blind speed dating because I have to earn a living.”

  “Are you sure?” She nods, walking back over to her desk, but before she can bypass me, I grab her wrist and tug her into my lap. “I love you.”

  She nods. “I know you do, but you can’t be my savior.”

  “I’m not doing this just because we’re a couple.”

  “I know. You would’ve done this just because of our friendship, but at some point, I have to find myself. And truthfully, my mind is a clusterfuck right now.” I hold her tight and she lays her head on my shoulder. “I’ve never really thought of doing anything besides matchmaking. When I was younger, I felt it was my calling after my mom told me about my Aunt Etta. But I never really considered whether this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just did it. It’s not a surprise that I never thought to improve or change things up to gain more clients because I was just living day by day. I didn’t have any long-term goals for my business. And I’m sorry that it upsets you that I don’t want to move in with you right now.”

  “Why don’t you? Do you not see me in your future?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.

  She picks up her head and cradles my face. “You’re the one thing I know I want in my future. I’m scared I’m going to mess it up, but I can’t help thinking about the what-ifs. What if as soon as I’m all in, you leave?”

  I tilt my head, waiting for her to give me more to go on, but she doesn’t. “Juno, I’d never leave you.”

  She presses her finger to my lips. “I’m not saying you’d do it willingly. Things happen.”

  I rear back and stare at her. Man, I had it pegged all wrong. She’s not scared that I’m going to leave her—she’s scared to rely on me because I’ll die. Fuck.

  I hug her, unable to say anything that might make it better.

  Mario changes my loan, and two weeks later, I’m signing papers with Dr. Murphy to be part owner of Four Paws.

  There’s no party to celebrate since I’m not making a huge deal about it in case I fail, but Juno’s waiting for me at my house when I get there. I open up the garage door into my kitchen and my bag falls to the floor. She’s sitting on the kitchen table, wearing a silk robe and—if my suspicions are correct—she’s naked underneath.

  “Are you the official part owner of Four Paws Veterinary Clinic, Dr. Stone?” she asks in a seductive voice, opening her legs to rest on the chair seat in front of her.

  “I am. What’s this?” I look around, not finding a candle, a flower, or even food. Not that I’m complaining if she’s gonna be my meal.

  “Yay!” She jumps off the table and I catch her, my hands molding to her ass when she wraps her legs around my middle.

  I run my hands down her bare ass. “You are naked under here.”

  “I am, but I need you to get naked too because I have a surprise for you.” She unhooks her legs and falls down my body, her fingers unbuttoning my shirt before her feet hit the floor.

  “What is it?”

  “I said surprise. Since you wouldn’t let me have a party for you, I figured we’d prepare a meal from a movie like we always love to do.”

  “Oh, which one did you have in mind? Something from Chocolat?”

  She shakes her head and her fingers undo my belt, the button, then the zipper of my slacks before they puddle on the floor. She takes my hand once I’m only in my boxer briefs and sits me down in front of the fridge.

  “9 ½ Weeks?” My eyes widen and I smile.

  She opens up her robe slightly and I get a glimpse of her shaved pussy. My dick salutes her and this kinky idea. “I did have to watch some of the movie by myself.”

  “I wanted to watch it with you.” I tug her down to my lap and she squirms, kneeling in front of me.

  “Okay, close your eyes,” she says, opening up the fridge.

  “This is very bad for electricity.”

  She laughs. “You’re a vet. You can afford it. Don’t make me blindfold you.”

 
I close my eyes as the cool air from the fridge flows out, hitting my nipples.

  She puts something in front of my mouth, pushing it against my lips then retracting it. Finally, I chomp down and find it’s a black olive. I chew it and swallow, waiting as I hear metal against metal.

  “Open up, baby,” she whispers.

  I open for her to put a spoon in my mouth—filled with cherries from a jar. The sweetness hits my tongue and I moan. “I’d like to lick that off you later.”

  “That can definitely be arranged.” She runs something cold over my lips.

  I bite a strawberry and I open my eyes just a little when I hear her chewing.

  “No peeking,” she says, trying to hide what she’s put into the fridge.

  “I think the wrong person is being teased with food, don’t you?” I get up and position her on the floor. “You close your eyes now.”

  “You’re ruining my surprise.” She semi pouts.

  “Believe me, feeding you and watching you is a damn good present.” I spot the glass of champagne already poured in the fridge, so I take it and tilt the glass to her lips. She swallows, but I over-tilt it so I can watch the champagne fall out of her mouth, down her chin, to her chest. Seeing an opportunity, I lick in the opening of her robe in the valley of her breasts.

  “You’re not supposed to touch me. You’re breaking the rules, Stone.”

  I laugh, grabbing a piece of pasta salad. “Did you make this pasta salad?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Tell me.”

  “No,” she says. I dangle it over her lips, teasing the Italian dressing on the seam of her lips. “That’s probably why it’s so good.”

  We both laugh. “Were you really going to make me bite a jalapeño pepper?”

  She giggles. “We have to be authentic to the movie.”

  “Open up then.” I poke her lips with a pepper.

  She actually bites down on it slowly. “I can handle a little heat.”

  But her face scrunches in pain and she shakes her head, spitting it out. I tip the glass of milk to her lips, and just like the movie, it seeps out around the sides of the glass and drenches the front of her, the silk robe now clinging to her erect nipples.

  “Bad idea,” she says.

  Instead of giving her the Jell-O, I give her a spoon full of cherries from the jar and she licks her lips after she’s done. I tip the glass of champagne, once again dripping it down her body.

  She opens her eyes and I lower her to the kitchen floor, my hands sliding the now-soaked robe aside. I suck and lick the champagne off her body.

  “This is nice,” she says, holding my head loosely, allowing me to venture over every inch of her body, cherishing and worshipping it.

  When I reach her naval, she sits up and pours the bottle of champagne over my chest before licking it off me. Her small body is on mine, her center grinding along my length, teasing me.

  “Congratulations, Doctor,” she says, her lips at my neck and her teeth latching on to my earlobe. “You want your cake now?”

  She straddles me and sits up. With her hands on my chest, I massage her ass and hips, continuing to rock her back and forth over my hard dick.

  “I think I’m in the mood for pie.”

  She laughs, her head falling forward, but she stands, pulls my boxers down, then comes back over me and guides my cock to her entrance, sinking down my length. My hands mold to her breasts, tweaking her nipples as she rides me.

  She’s increasing the pace and I’m raising my hips to get as deep inside her as I can—when the door of my house opens.

  “Surprise!”

  “Fuck,” Juno says, scrambling to get her robe, but our only choice is to hide behind the island, peeking over the top.

  Within moments, Calista stands at the kitchen entrance with her eyes pinched together. Dion is playing with some electronic thing.

  Phoebe points at the floor. “Cherry.”

  As if it can’t get any worse, all the Baileys file in.

  Denver laughs. “You kinky motherfu—”

  Harley smacks him on the back of the head before he can finish.

  Goddamn, I need that key back.

  Twenty-Eight

  Juno

  * * *

  Downstairs, my entire family celebrates Colton buying Four Paws as we shower and try to rinse off our embarrassment. We’re consenting adults, after all.

  “Okay, babe, this is it. Operation get key back from Dori, okay?” Colton’s serious, gripping my upper arms and staring me right in the eye.

  “I’ll try,” I say.

  Truthfully, I’m probably not as embarrassed as Colton. He’s an only child. I’m one of nine. I’m used to the whole group walking in. I mean, Kingston found out what a tampon was used for when he walked in on me in the bathroom once. All of us were probably the first in our classes to know what the opposite sex’s privates looked like. Denver’s bare ass is practically branded in my brain.

  “Try hard. I wasn’t even able to finish, which means we’ll be doing that fridge with the food thing again.”

  I kiss his lips. “I promise.”

  We walk downstairs, where my family has taken over Colton’s house. Kingston has the television on, showing Jamison’s soccer team. Everyone offers their congratulations to Colton, and they’ve spread out food from Wok For U. The kids are eating around the table and the women are in the kitchen, three of them with babies strapped to them. Phoenix has a glass of wine in hand, and I decide to join her.

  Grandma Dori is with the kids, lecturing Calista about how just because she’s a girl, it doesn’t mean she can’t hit someone back if they hit her first. Harley glances at them for a second but then shakes her head like she’ll fix that later.

  “This sucks,” Harley says. “The whole reason I got pregnant was to be with you guys and now I’m pregnant alone again.”

  “Well, we still can’t drink,” Brooklyn says, nodding at my nephew strapped to her chest.

  “Yeah, I’m not sure about this breastfeeding gig,” Savannah says. “I mean, Liam’s getting a little jealous and Brinley won’t take a bottle. It’s all me, and when I go back to work, I don’t see this working.”

  Holly nods as though she gets it. “I can pump, but Easton eats all the time. I’m not even producing enough, so we already have to supplement with formula.”

  “You want to know what I can’t stand? The fact that it’s six weeks until you can have sex after you give birth and Wyatt acts like it’s a life prison sentence. I don’t even feel like having sex.” Brooklyn shakes her head.

  The other new moms nod as if they want to shout “amen.”

  I look at Phoenix and she widens her eyes at me. “So, sexy times in the kitchen, huh?”

  Colton catches her words as he’s grabbing a beer from the fridge. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

  I say, “Yeah. I thought I said no party?”

  “Grandma Dori already had it planned. I think because you’re closing SparkFinder, she thought that you could use a party,” Phoenix says.

  “Are you okay?” Brooklyn’s hand runs up and down on my arm.

  “I’m good.”

  Savannah chews on her lip and looks around. I catch her and narrow my eyes.

  “Liam.” She tries to slide out behind Holly, but with the baby, she can’t get away so fast.

  I stop Savannah. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing.” She shakes her head.

  “Someone call Sedona, her man just scored a crazy goal,” Kingston yells.

  I stay in place with my hand on Savannah’s arm. She has a secret.

  “You’ll find out tomorrow,” she whispers.

  “Tell me now.”

  “I can’t,” she says between gritted teeth.

  “Is it bad?”

  Her eyes flicker to Grandma, which means, yes, it’s bad. “No. Not at all.”

  All the guys’ cheering quiets in the other room.

  “Oh shit. Get
up, get up,” Kingston says in a quieter voice, more like he’s talking to himself.

  All of our heads turn. Kingston and Denver are on either side of the television, both with their hands at their mouths.

  “What happened?” Grandma Dori stands and leaves the children to see.

  They replay the play and you see a guy come in to block Jamison’s shot, hitting his leg from the side. We all watch as Jamison writhes in pain on the field. His teammates and the other team kneel around as the medical crew rushes out to him.

  Phoenix slides by all of us, going to Griffin’s side. They whisper together.

  “Is Uncle Jamison hurt again?” Maverick asks Phoenix.

  We all turn to him. Phoenix grabs him and holds him, whispering in his ear.

  “The twins are keeping secrets!” Kingston yells, pointing at Phoenix.

  She turns to Griffin and he shrugs. She releases Maverick, and he goes off to play video games with Dion.

  “So, Jamison might have hurt himself a few weeks ago,” Phoenix says. “They didn’t think it was anything major. He took some time off to recover, and that’s when Sedona came home for the shower. But I believe it’s the same leg he hurt before.”

  We all turn toward the television and listen to the announcers, who are saying there was a rumor about him being hurt prior to this but that his team is known to be tight-lipped about injured players. The one guy analyzing the footage slows down the tape just as the other guy tries to block. You see Jamison go down, howling in pain.

  “That’s an injury that could end a career,” the announcer says.

  “I hope not, because Jamison’s too talented of a player for his game to end this early. Plus New York doesn’t stand a chance without him,” the other announcer says.

  We all look around and Phoenix is gone. I’m sure she’s off to call Sedona. I really hope Sedona’s okay. Jamison is carted off the field on a stretcher, grasping and hovering over his leg.

  Colton comes over to me and puts his arm around my waist. “This is shitty timing, but I got the key,” he whispers.