Secrets of the World's Worst Matchmaker

by Piper Rayne

  “Way to go, Magnum PI.”

  The next day is the official move-out date of my SparkFinder office. I managed to make a deal with Mr. Richards, and since he didn’t have anyone ready to move in, I got a few weeks to pack up my stuff. It’s all going into Colton’s garage until I figure things out.

  “What else do you have?” Colton comes in, all sweaty and delicious and manly looking.

  “Um, just my desk, and the back room with the table and chairs.”

  He nods and Kingston follows him to the back room.

  I follow them, asking Colton, “Are you sure you’re cool with me leaving everything in your garage? I could get a storage locker or something. Maybe I should just sell it all.”

  Colton abandons the stack of chairs he was going to take out and kisses my lips. “That’s ridiculous. I have enough room for you and your stuff too.”

  He’s been on me about moving in, and I’ll admit—I’m at his house so much, it’s kind of stupid that I don’t. But at the same time, I can’t pay half that mortgage right now and I don’t want to be a freeloading girlfriend.

  “Let’s just handle this first,” I say.

  Savannah calls from the bathroom, “All clean. I’d like to see if Mr. Richards has anything to say about it.”

  “Thanks.”

  She rubs my arm with her palm. “Are you sure you want to do this? I can give you money. A loan if you’d like.”

  I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”

  She nods because we’re cut from the same cloth. She wouldn’t accept help either if our roles were reversed.

  We follow Colton and Kingston out of the office to the truck outside, but another truck, a pink truck, honks while coming down the road.

  “I’m so sorry,” Savannah whispers as we watch it come to a stop behind the moving truck.

  “Is this what you were keeping from me?”

  She nods.

  Liam walks up the sidewalk, pushing Brinley in a stroller. “Thank goodness we didn’t miss it, baby girl.” Liam’s enthusiasm says whatever this truck is supposed to be is making his day. “Tell Mommy how you pooped through two onesies today and she’s on diaper duty for the rest of the day.” Liam talks as if he’s a baby himself.

  “Daddy’s wrong. Mommy has changed more diapers than Daddy has in total.” Savannah pretends to tickle Brinley.

  “Please do not be one of those couples who pass on their passive-aggressive arguments through their kids,” Kingston says.

  Colton leans over to read the side of the truck before he looks at me. “Did you buy a truck?”

  I point at myself. “Me? No. Why?”

  The side door opens, and Rome slides open the side window like you would if someone were ordering food.

  “Going into the food truck business, Rome?” I ask.

  He shakes his head and bites down his laugh.

  Calista jumps down with Dion. “Yay! That was so much fun.” She grabs my hand, dragging me over to the truck.

  “Oh my God,” I say.

  “Isn’t it great?” Grandma Dori files out with Ethel right behind her. “Thank Rome for his connections. I paid for the paint job. No repayment necessary. It’s just for you being such a great granddaughter.” She pinches my chin.

  It’s a food truck, painted in pink with SparkFinder on the side.

  “I figured this way you go to them,” Grandma says. “You can travel. Maybe do fairs and stuff.”

  I glance back at Colton, who’s covering his mouth to hide his laughter. Grandma Dori is so happy and proud of herself.

  “Um… thank you?” I say, opening my arms and hugging her.

  “Well, go. Get in and drive it around. Rome will show you the ropes on how to use all the little gadgets.”

  “And maybe you could bake some heart-shaped cookies or snacks for your customers because it has a working kitchen,” Ethel adds.

  I smile at her, but she’s busy staring at Colton.

  “Well, let me finish up here.” I look toward the practically vacant office now.

  “I can finish up, babe. You go,” Colton says, and I narrow my eyes at him.

  “Okay, let’s do this,” Rome says.

  I give him the death stare he deserves for being a part of this whole thing.

  “I’ll stay here with Colton,” Ethel says.

  Colton smiles but steps to the left, away from her. Ha! Serves him right.

  Once I’m in the truck, Rome tells me where to insert the key. We drive around the square of downtown Lake Starlight, and Grandma keeps leaning over to beep the horn at everyone as if we’re in a parade. My cheeks grow hotter and hotter the more attention we gain.

  “Now park on the corner right there and I’ll show you how to open up the outside while the kids play at the park,” Rome directs me, and I park. It’s surprisingly easy to maneuver.

  We go out, and thankfully Grandma goes to the park with the kids.

  When she’s out of earshot, I say, “I can’t believe you entertained this idea with her.”

  He laughs. “What did you want me to do?”

  “Not get me a food truck and allow her to paint it with my logo. I mean, who is going to go to a matchmaker in a truck?”

  He shrugs. “I’ve never understood why people go to a matchmaker at all, but they do. I agree with G’Ma D—this is good for you. No overhead cost, and you know what? Your first gig, I’ll supply some appetizers.”

  “No doubt with your business cards,” I say.

  “Hey, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Welcome to small business.”

  “Rome!” I bury my head in my hands and sit on the back of the truck. “I’m such a failure. This is just pathetic.”

  He sits next to me and wraps his arm around me. “I know it’s hard to be closing your shop, but explore the opportunities this can give you. You might find something you love about it. I wasn’t crazy about Dion at first, but he’s grown on me.”

  I elbow him in the ribs, laughing.

  “Yeah, I know, that kid’s had me before he peed in my face during his first diaper change.”

  I sit up and swipe the tears from my eyes. “Thanks for this. I do appreciate it.”

  He nods. “Anything for my little sister.”

  Twenty-Nine

  Colton

  * * *

  It’s been five months since Juno closed up SparkFinder and she still hasn’t moved in with me. I don’t bring it up much anymore, but all that changes today. I’ve given her enough time to get used to us.

  She’s actually enjoying the matchmaking delivery truck, driving it to some small town fairs where she conducts blind speed dating. Mostly, the fact she’s parking it helps her gain some business. She does love matchmaking and I’m determined to prove it to her. I’ve even put something together on my computer to prove it to her.

  But that surprise is for later. For now, I’m hiding up in the treehouse in the Bailey backyard—where I’ve been for at least twenty minutes—when I hear the voice I’ve been waiting for.

  “You sure you want to play in the treehouse?” Juno asks Calista, my little helper. “Aren’t you cold? Shouldn’t you be wearing a coat?”

  “Nope. I’m fine. Alaskans have thick blood, right?”

  “I suppose so,” Juno says. “Where are Dion and Phoebe?”

  “Oh, this is my day to help Uncle Austin and Aunt Holly. I get to come over here and help with baby Easton all by myself.”

  “Really? I didn’t know that. Do you help Aunt Brooklyn and Aunt Savannah too?”

  “No. Only Aunt Holly.”

  “Interesting.”

  In truth, Calista is here because Juno told me she was coming here today and I’m using Calista to get my plan in motion. I’ve had the idea for a long time, but I wanted to make sure it was a surprise and limit the number of Baileys included because this is just for us.

  “Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.” I hope Calista becomes an actress, because she’s born for it. “I’ll be right ba
ck. You go up.”

  “I can wait,” Juno says.

  “No. I’ll be a few minutes. It’s number two. You go.”

  I stifle a chuckle. This is the chancy part of the plan, but if I know Juno as well as I think I do, she’ll come up here just to reminisce before Calista comes back.

  Just as I thought, Juno climbs the ladder while I peek out the window and watch Calista run back to the house.

  My heart feels as if it’s beating in my throat. This is the moment. Our moment to take our future in our hands.

  Her head pops up. “Colton?” She scrunches her forehead. “I thought you were working?”

  Then she looks around at the twinkle lights and the pictures hanging off the cords I strung around the inside perimeter of the treehouse. Us at six in the sandbox at my house—the first playdate our moms had together. At seven, when we went to the fair in town and got to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl. At eight, when our families went camping together and we were out in a canoe in the middle of the lake by ourselves and our dads had to come fetch us because we ventured out too far. All the way up to sixteen when we got our licenses, our high school graduations, my college graduation. And there’s an entire wall of the treehouse dedicated to the last six months when we became more than just best friends.

  “Colton.” She sighs, her hand at her mouth as she soaks up all the memories. “We were so young.” Her fingers graze a picture of when we were nine, learning to ride quads.

  Then she spots the box in my hand and I fall to bended knee.

  “No, Colton.” She shakes her head, looking a little frantic.

  “Yes, it’s time. I know you’re scared, but I’m here and I’ll always catch you. Make all my dreams come true and do me the honor of being my wife? Will you marry me, Juno?”

  She smiles and her hand runs along my cheek. A move she does when I’ve pleaded a good case. She did it right before agreeing to leave a few things at my house in a drawer. Or when I bought her a toothbrush to keep at my house.

  Then she looks at the worn floorboards and the smile strips from her face and her hand leaves my skin. “I’m sorry, Colton, I can’t.” She shuts the ring box.

  “What?” All the breath leaves my body.

  “We’re happy, aren’t we? We don’t need rings and a legal piece of paper.”

  “I do,” I say, anger growing inside me.

  “Why?” she asks innocently, as if it’s an everyday question.

  “Because I want us to build a life, and for me, that includes a wife. Not a girlfriend. Not a live-in roommate. Actually.” My eyes go wide. “I don’t even have a live-in roommate because you won’t move in with me.”

  “I told you. It’s hard for me. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want something to happen to you.”

  “Nothing is going to happen to me because you marry me. Why do you think just because I’m in your life and you’re happy, something bad is going to happen?”

  She stares at her hands. “Can we please just go back to the way things have been? We’re happy. Why mess that up?”

  “Because we can be happier. Because we can commit our futures to one another.”

  “I am committed to you.”

  I shake my head, the crease between my eyebrows deepening. “You’re not.”

  “I am. You can’t say I’m not.” Her voice rises to match mine. “Not wanting a marriage says nothing about my commitment.”

  “To me it does. I get that there are couples out there who don’t care about the piece of paper or shared names, and that’s great for them. They got what they wanted. But I want a wife. I want a Mrs. Stone. I want my kids and my wife to share the same name as me. I want to promise to the entire world that I will cherish you all the days of my life. I want us to sleep in the same bed every night.”

  “We do sleep in the same bed every night.”

  I shove the ring box in my pocket. “You have to be fucking kidding me. I gotta go.”

  “Don’t leave.” She grabs my arm, but I go around her, climbing down the ladder.

  I stop when I’m chest level with the floorboards. “Just so you know, when you want to blame someone for us not working out, look in the mirror, Juno. Look in the mirror.”

  I climb the rest of the way down the ladder and walk around the side of the house.

  Austin meets me on the other side of the garage with Easton strapped to his chest. He probably heard me.

  “Hey, Colt,” he says, reaching for my arm. “Let’s just talk this out. Let me speak with her. She loves you. I know she does.”

  I turn around and toss him the ring box before climbing into my truck. “Tell Juno she can get her stuff out of my house because I’ll be gone for the rest of the weekend.”

  “No. Don’t go saying something like that because you’re angry.” Austin follows me. “Come on, you’re like a brother to me. Let me just give Easton to Holly and we can talk.”

  “I can’t. I gotta get out of here.” I start the truck.

  He backs away because of the loud noise. I see him soothing Easton and I feel bad, but I have to get as far as I can from Juno and any of the Baileys.

  Thirty

  Juno

  * * *

  I pull a picture off the string. It’s the one of my parents with Colton and me at my birthday when I turned thirteen, just weeks before they died. We didn’t have huge parties growing up, but we were all allowed to take one friend and go anywhere we wanted. I chose Colton and asked to go rafting. It’s a picture of us all right before we got on.

  My arm is slung over Colton’s shoulders, my parents smiling with one hand on each of our shoulders. All of us in swimsuits with life preservers on.

  I curl into a ball and hold the picture to my chest, crying because I desperately want to get over this fear. Doesn’t Colton know that? Why won’t he give me any more time?

  “Juno Bailey!” Grandma Dori screams up to me from below. “I will not come up there, but you are getting your little tushy down here right now!”

  I wipe my cheeks then peer down the hole, and sure enough, she’s standing at the bottom of the ladder, glaring at me. “I’m not changing my mind. He’s rushing me and I’m not ready.”

  “He’s not rushing anything. The two of you have been friends since you were six. If anything, he’s going too slow. I told him not to accommodate you, that you had to face reality.”

  “That’s a nice grandma, tell him to push me to limits I’m not ready for.”

  “Ugh.” She turns toward the house. “I’m going up, Austin, call the paramedics if I fall and record this… Juno gets nothing if I fall and die. She’s cut from my will for making me go up there.”

  I throw my hands in the air. “Don’t come up, I’ll come down.”

  “Too late now, missy. Make room for me.”

  I blow out a breath and slide to the back of the treehouse to give her room.

  She comes up, huffing and puffing and scolds me with her eyes.

  “I told you I’d come down,” I grumble.

  “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” She sits down and takes a few breaths. “You’ve always been my hardest one.”

  “Thanks for the compliment,” I say.

  “Oh, stop it with your dramatics.”

  I hear someone else coming up the ladder. I assume it’s Austin, but rather than joining us, his hand slides two books across the floorboards.

  “Are we sure this is still stable?” Grandma tests the weight where she’s sitting and picks up the books.

  “I’m sorry, okay? I do love him, but he’s rushing me into moving in together and now marriage. We’ve only been together for, like, six months.” I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

  “This isn’t about you and Colton. This is about you and an irrational fear. You’d think I’d have it easy and all of you would be wounded in the same way after your parents died, but no, each of you are so different. You came out thinking that the more you need someone, the more likely they’ll
be stripped away from you.”

  “That’s not true,” I say.

  She gives me her bored look. The one that says she’s the wise woman, listen to her. “Because you had Colton, I left you alone growing up. I didn’t pry too much because I naively thought you were open and honest with him about your struggles. That you told him your fears and worries. I see now I was wrong.” She points at me. “And you can put that in the books because I rarely admit when I’m wrong.”

  I make a checkmark in the air.

  She scowls. “It wasn’t until you came to my apartment all those months ago that I realized you were lost. That you didn’t have your head on your shoulders like I thought.”

  “Is this supposed to be an uplifting conversation?”

  “Let me get to my point.”

  I hold up my hands, telling her to go ahead.

  “Weeks later, you were closing your business. I thought that’s where your doubt in yourself came from. Because you kept asking if your mom would lie to make you feel like you belong. So I did some research.” She opens one of the books. There’s a tree with names on it. “I had both sides of your genealogy done, and to my surprise, your red hair comes from our side too.”

  “Really? You did this?” I lean in to see the book better.

  She shoos me with her hand because we both know it was probably Mr. Miller at Northern Lights who did this for her. He’s always asking me where my red hair came from. He says it’s rare and he loves to trace down recessive traits with his genealogy hobby.

  “It turns out that Aunt Etta was a redhead but look at all these Baileys with red hair too. And then I thought I remembered something, and I searched back to find some pictures. Sure enough, your grandpa was born a redhead, although it turned blond soon after as he grew up.”

  I pick up the book and look through the pages of all our ancestors. “You did all this to prove that my red hair is a Bailey trait too?” Tears well in my eyes.

  “You’ve always been a Bailey. No other Bailey talks back to me the way you do. Who do you think you get that from? Yours truly.” She thumbs at herself.