Volunteering had taught him that lesson, the hard way. He heard so many stories of people who claimed they’d lived their lives for someone else or had never taken the kind of risks that could have made them happy.
“I just don’t want to rush her.”
“Rush her? How old is she? I’m guessing she’s been legal a good long time.”
He laughed. That was the nice thing about Stella. Even though it was his job to cheer her up she never failed to make him laugh with her sharp tongue and quick wit. She claimed the cancer may be stealing her body but it wouldn’t take her mind.
“Yeah, I guess she has. But marriage isn’t for everyone.” It pained him to admit it, but he said, “I’m not sure it’s for Bella.”
“You’ve asked her.”
“Yeah.”
“And?” Her hands continued to work on her project while she stared at him, awaiting a response. “What did she say?”
“She implied I was rushing her.”
“If she loved you she’d know.” She touched a hand to her heart. “If she doesn’t, well, no amount of time will make a difference.”
That was the last thing Loran wanted to hear. “You don’t think people need time to make a decision like that… whether they love someone? Whether they want to spend the rest of their lives with that person?”
She tipped her head to the side, studying him. “That depends. Why is she uncertain? Is it something you did to make her doubt you?”
“Sort of.”
She sighed. “I’ve told you everything there is to know about me. Bored you to tears some days, I’m sure.”
“Impossible,” he said, winking.
In truth, Stella’s life had been interesting. She travelled the world and taught English as a second language until she met her husband in South Korea when she was twenty-four. They returned to the States to get married and start a family and he’d worked two jobs to put her through school so she could become an English teacher.
They had four children, ten grandchildren, and she’d won Teacher of the Year for her work with underprivileged kids in low-income school districts.
It was hard for Loran to believe all of those students whose lives she’d impacted didn’t keep in touch with her. If they had they’d have known their time was running out to let her know that she’d made a difference in their lives.
“So, what did you do?”
He couldn’t imagine talking to Stella about sex, but it was obvious she wasn’t going to let this go until he offered her some kind of explanation. “Bella and I went away together for the weekend. Vegas.”
She dropped her blanket and clapped her hands together. “Oh I love Las Vegas! I haven’t been there in years!”
He’d like to resurrect some good memories for her. “Tell me about it. Who’d you go with? What’d you do? Gamble, see some shows—”
“Oh no you don’t, young man. You’re just trying to distract me.”
Damn. She was too smart for her own good. “I was?”
“You know you were. Now tell me what happened between you and Bella in Vegas.”
“Things were going well,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “We were getting closer.”
She wiggled her thin white eyebrows and giggled. “As close as two people can get, I’m guessing?”
He chuckled, certain she’d made him blush. “You could say that.”
“So what’d you do to screw things up? You don’t strike me as the type who’d be selfish in the sack.”
His jaw dropped. “Stella!”
She laughed and slapped his arm. “You forget I taught raunchy teenagers most of my life. There’s nothing I haven’t seen or heard. Don’t worry about shocking or offending me. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could shock you.”
“I have no doubt.” He shook his head, trying to shake that thought loose. “Anyways, my argument with Bella that night had nothing to do with that. I saw her talking to some guy in a bar and got angry.”
“How angry?” She curled her little hands into fists and held them up. “Did you punch him out?”
Loran smirked. “You’re too cute, lady.”
“Well, did you?”
“Something like that.”
She nodded. “And your girlfriend got mad and dumped you.” She clucked her tongue. “She should have been flattered that you cared so much.”
“She was upset that I didn’t trust her.” Loran had no doubt who was at fault that night. He was. “I hit first and asked questions later.”
She seemed to consider that before she said, “Trust is important in a relationship. That was one thing Herbert and I had going for us. He knew I’d never look at another man and vice versa.”
“What does it take to get there?” Loran asked, wondering if he would ever get to the point where he could see another man check Bella out without clenching his fists. “I mean to be so secure in your relationship that you know nothing and no one could shake it?”
“Time, my dear.” She patted his hand. “Just time. And fortunately you and your young lady have that on your side.”
Chapter Seven
“I loved meeting Stella.” Bella peeled the lid back on her take-out cup and added raw brown sugar before stirring it. “Thank you for telling me about the hospice. I think it will be good for me to find a way to give back.”
“There are plenty of other opportunities too,” Loran said, leaning back against the upholstered bench seat in the upscale café he’d suggested. “Like the homeless shelter. But you don’t have as much free time as I do. I know you’re trying to re-build your business and you don’t have time in your life for, uh, anything else right now.”
“Did I say that?” He made it sound like she couldn’t make time for him and she didn’t want to give him that impression.
“No, but—”
“I want more balance in my life.” She leaned in, closing her hand over his. “It’s been all work, all the time, for far too long. I want more than that now.”
“You can’t say you haven’t made time for fun.” He seemed tense when he looked at their joined hands. “There’ve been quite a few men in your life, no?”
Wow. She didn’t see that coming.
She sank back, staring at him. “Where did that come from?”
He raised a broad shoulder after taking a sip of his cappuccino. “You’re always on me about the women I’ve been with but you once told me we weren’t all that different. You’ve always favoured sex over committed relationships too, right?”
“Maybe that’s what scares me,” she admitted. “We’re too much alike. I don’t think I could date someone like me.”
He scowled, obviously assuming the worst. “So you’re saying we can’t change, is that it?”
“I don’t know, but I’d like to try.”
His eyes darted to hers. “You would?”
“Yeah, I would.” She smiled at his look of surprise. “I’ll admit I’m terrible at the whole relationship thing. And I know you are too. But maybe we could figure it out together. What do you think?”
He grinned before reaching for her hand and bringing it to his lips. “That’s all I’ve wanted since the day I met you, Bella. Just a chance to prove to you that I can be the man you need me to be.”
“If we’re really going to try and make this work we should probably set some ground rules.” She didn’t want to be unreasonable, but since this was new to both of them she didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings.
“Sure.”
His demeanour was completely different than it had been when they sat down. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders and it humbled Bella to know she played a part in that.
“You must have girls calling and texting you for hook-ups all the time.” She hated the sound of her own voice right now, but she had to get this out there before she lost her nerve. “I mean, you’ve been single a long time. You know a lot of… women.” Gold-diggers.
H
e chuckled. “I think I know where you’re going with this. He held his phone up. “Would this make you happy?” He set the phone between them so she could see the screen.
Her jaw dropped when he started deleting contacts, one after another. “Wait.” She grabbed his arm. “What are you doing? I didn’t say you had to do that.”
“I know. I want to.” He seemed completely unfazed as he continued scrolling and deleting.
“But…” She cleared her throat as she scrambled to think of something to say. “What if things don’t work out between us? You’ll regret doing that.”
“No, I won’t. I’m tired of random hook-ups. That’s all these women ever were to me. I want a real relationship.” His eyes drifted to hers before he said, “And I want that with you.”
“I want that too.” It felt like her heart was so full she could barely breathe.
When he was finished, he smiled before reaching for his mug. “That felt good. Cathartic.”
“Oh yeah?” She pulled her phone out of her purse. “Maybe I should find out for myself.”
He watched her go through the same process before he chuckled. “Damn girl, I think you have more contacts than I did.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s probably because you purge regularly. I don’t.”
“I only purge when I find out she’s bat-shit crazy.” He rolled his eyes when she shot him a questioning look. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
“Oh, but I do.” When she finished with her phone she dropped it back in her purse and leaned in. “Tell me, what’s a girl got to do to get deleted from your contacts?”
“Most pro athletes will tell you the same,” he said, shrugging. “Women get crazy-obsessed in no time. They think they know you because they see you on TV. They want you because of what you do, not who you are.”
She’d seen her brother go through that over the years. Probably explained why he married his first love, the girl who knew and loved him before he got famous.
“For the record, I could care less about what you do for a living or how much money you make.”
“I know.” He seemed serious when he said, “That’s what drew me to you in the first place. You treated me like a real person, not like a ball player.”
“You have to remember I grew up around ball players, Loran. Yet I’d never wanted to date one before.”
He leaned back, resting his arm on the back of the bench. “I know for a fact more than a few of our teammates have had their eye on you. Ethan’s teammates must have been asking you out all the time while you guys were growing up. Why no interest?”
“Because of the fact they were ballplayers.” She was ashamed to admit the truth, but he deserved to hear it. “I knew they had women chasing them everywhere they went. I just didn’t want to deal with that.”
“But you’re willing to make an exception for me?”
“Not like I have a choice.”
She looked around and noticed several women staring at him. Two sitting together at a corner table and one waiting in line to order. They undoubtedly recognized him and were contemplating a selfie or an autograph, but didn’t want to intrude.
“Why do you say that?” he asked, looking amused. “That you don’t have a choice? You always have a choice.”
“You’re kind of like my favorite Belgian chocolate. It’s probably not as good for me as say, an apple, but I’ll chose the chocolate over the apple every time.”
He laughed. “So I’m chocolate and your buddy Jeff was the apple?”
“Something like that.” She loved spending time with him like this, just hanging out, talking. Getting to know him better. In fact, in the last few weeks she’d invested more time in Loran than any man since…
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, trying to shake off the bad memories. “Just thinking about things I had no business thinking about. Sorry.”
“Bella, if this is going to work, you’re going to have to let me in sometime.”
Which meant sharing her thoughts and feelings with him. Point taken. “I was thinking about my college boyfriend.”
His expression darkened. “The one who hurt you?”
He was the one and only man she’d had a real relationship with in college. Or since. Until Loran. “Yeah.”
“You want to talk about it?”
She loved that he was asking, instead of demanding to know more. “He was a nice guy… at first.” That’s what made it so hard to accept. She’d been duped. “We got along really well. Had a lot of the same friends. Seemed to have common goals, but I was young and didn’t want to be tied down. I still had a lot of years of school ahead of me, because I planned to get a Masters.”
“How did I not know you had a Masters?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” She licked her lips as she gave him a suggestive once-over. “But don’t worry. We have plenty of time for pillow talk.”
He groaned as he adjusted his jeans. “You’re killing me here.”
She grinned. “That was kind of my intent.”
“You wouldn’t be trying to change the subject, would you?”
“Maybe a little.” When the disappointment flashed across his face she sighed and said, “Fine. I’ll tell you more. He told me he was in love with me after we’d been dating a few months.”
“Surprised he was able to wait that long.”
For the first time in her life she actually wanted to hear a man say those words to her. Maybe because she finally felt ready to say them back.
“Anyway, I didn’t feel the same way so I started to pull back. Whenever I tried to end it he freaked out and told me he’d back off. He was cool with us being casual.”
“But he wasn’t?”
She sipped her coffee before shaking her head. “No, he wasn’t. Every time I went out with a male friend for a drink or a coffee after class he’d lose it. I even caught him scrolling through my text messages once. That was it for me. I was done and told him so.”
“And he didn’t take it well?”
“He lost it.” It being his grip on reality. “Started calling me and texting me all the time. Showing up places he knew I’d be. Harassing my friends. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get a restraining order.”
“Not that it did you any good, huh?”
“It rarely does, unfortunately. But I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m sitting here talking to you, not six feet under.”
He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. “God, it makes me sick when I think about what that sonofabitch did to you.”
“Then don’t think about it.” She leaned forward and touched his cheek. “Seriously, don’t think about it. I try not to.”
He held her hand against his cheek. “If anyone ever tries to hurt you again, just know that I’ll be there to—”
“Ssshhh, please. I don’t intend to live my life in fear, expecting the worst to happen.” She’d done that when she refused to give Loran a second chance after the hotel incident. She didn’t want to do that anymore.
“I’ve never felt so fiercely protective of anyone.” He held her hand in both of his, resting his elbows on the table. “That kind of scares me, not gonna lie.”
“It scares me a little too.” She’d seen the way he reacted the last time he thought someone was overstepping with her. “But I’m not going to let that hold me back anymore.”
“I trust you, Bella. I need you to know that. If you tell me that you’re with me and only me, I believe that.”
“Good, because that’s how it’s going to be… until we decide it’s not working anymore.”
He dropped her hand and frowned. “We’re just getting started and you’re already thinking about the end?”
“No, not at all.” She’d laid awake most of last night thinking about this being the end of the road for them and it didn’t feel good. “I want this to last as long as we make each other happy. I don’t know how long that’ll be and n
either do you.”
“It could be forever.”
She could tell he was challenging her. “Could be.”
“And you’d be okay with that?” He was watching her carefully when he asked, “Spending the rest of your life with me?”
“I’m not going to lie, I’ve never thought about spending forever with any man. It’s not something I thought I needed or wanted in my life. But then you came along and made me think… maybe.”
“Maybe, huh?” He smirked. “I can tell that’s the best I’m gonna get for now so I’ll leave it at that.”
“Does that mean we can get out of here now?” She was anxious to consummate this new relationship of theirs… at last.
He laughed as he slid out of the booth. “Your place or mine?”
“Yours.” She linked hands with him while the two girls in the corner looked dejected. “Definitely yours.”
***
Bella may not know it, but she’d given him a new lease on life. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this stoked about the future.
She was finally his. And as he watched her do a sensual striptease, he had to take a slow deep breath and remember to pace himself.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Just thinking about all the things I want to do to you.”
“What are you waiting for?” She hooked her thumbs in her royal blue panties and eased them down her toned thighs.
“Just enjoying the show, baby.” He wanted to drag her off to the bedroom and prove to her their first time together hadn’t been a fluke.
“Why not get in on the action instead?” She crooked a finger, beckoning him closer.
He took his time crossing the room, letting the anticipation build. He’d been waiting too long to rush this.
She reached for the hem of his shirt, closing her teeth over her lower lip as she bared his chest. “Damn. How is it possible that you’re even hotter than I remember?”
That was another thing he loved about his girl. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.
“Took to working out my frustrations in the gym.” He watched her reach for his belt buckle as he prepared to bare it all. “I couldn’t have you and that made me mad as hell.” He sucked in a breath when her hand grazed the front of his boxer briefs as she pushed his jeans over his hips. “I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted you.”
Payback (Summer Rush #6) Page 7