by Seven Steps
“I have to go talk to my sister for a minute,” I said. “But we’ll catch up later.”
“Okay,” Lucas said with a smile. “See you around, Lily.”
Rose dropped her head and tried to squeeze through the crowd, but I caught her by the arm and dragged her into the girls’ bathroom before she could get far.
“Are you insane?” I demanded.
“Lily, don’t be mad at me, please.”
“You told him I wanted him to ask me out?”
“It worked, didn’t it?”
“You made me look desperate.”
“No, I made you look available. Guys were buzzing around you, but none of them wanted to approach you because Becks was constantly… there. So, I got Becks to consult with us for the fashion show and sent the first single boy your way. And now, the flood gates will open up for you. I was trying to help you.”
My anger went into orbit.
“I didn’t ask for your help. From now on, stay out of my life!”
Rose’s eyes went wide. “Lily—”
I held up a hand, stopping whatever apologetic speech she’d planned on delivering.
“Don’t.”
And then, I stormed away, slamming open the bathroom door and leaning on the sink.
How could Rose do that to me? How could she embarrass me like that?
It all made sense now. Rose had tricked Becks into staying away and Becks went along with it. He was following Rose’s orders. Just like he used to do when we were kids.
I had to do something drastic. I had to let Becks know that Lucas and I were only friends.
I grabbed my things and walked out of the bathroom. My heart was hammering.
I’d never told a boy I liked them before. Now, I was telling it to my best friend. What was I supposed to say?
Whatever it was, I had to make sure it was crystal clear. I couldn’t leave anything else to chance. Not with Rose trying to make a floodgate of boys open up.
This was terrifying. A million times worse than public speaking.
What if he didn’t feel the same? What if I’d read everything wrong?
I was afraid, but this was a chance I had to take.
I couldn’t be Old Lily right now. She wanted to cower and hide her feelings for the rest of her life. But that would only lose Becks to me forever.
I had to be New Lily now. And New Lily shared her feelings. Even if it was terrifying.
The first period bell had already rung, which meant I would be getting a tardy. Just another terrible peg in this terrible day. But, with some help from New Lily, hopefully it would be turning around very soon.
24
I texted Becks that I wanted to see him before lunch in the art room, then tried to remember to breathe.
This idea had to work. Becks and I were friends. Best friends. We couldn’t be mad at each other over something as silly as one of my sister’s schemes. I’d simply explain that I’d only said yes to Lucas because I was excited that a boy actually liked me. I didn’t really like Lucas. And I’d said yes before Becks had kissed me. That’s when everything changed. Then we’d laugh about it, and he’d kiss me again, and everything would be just how it was before.
Simple.
I pushed the door to the art room open and walked inside. The light was on, and Becks was standing next to the window, looking out onto the football field.
“Hey,” I said, walking toward him.
He didn’t respond. He didn’t even turn around. He just stood there, staring out the window.
He must’ve heard me. There were only two of us in the room. Was he ignoring me? He must’ve been. There was no other explanation. And if he was ignoring me, then he was still mad at me. But there was no reason to be mad. He’d know that in a minute.
“Becks?”
“What do you want, Lily?” he asked, his voice on the verge of a growl. I stopped walking, his icy voice freezing me in my tracks.
Old Lily wanted to run. To apologize and go off and hide somewhere. But I was trying to be New Lily now. And New Lily had courage. At least, she tried to.
“I wanted to talk about this morning.”
He scoffed. “About Lucas.”
“Yes.”
He turned around, his arms crossed over his chest. I swallowed. It wasn’t just his voice that was icy. It was his gaze. Cool and angry.
“If you think that I’m going to sit here and help you plan your date, you are gravely mistaken.”
I let out a breath. “No. That’s not why I’m here.”
“But you’re still going on a date with Lucas on Friday?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I have to. I promised him.”
“You have to, or you want to?”
“Becks, I promised Lucas before you kissed me.”
“That doesn’t answer the question. Do you want to go out with him or not?”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like a jealous jerk?”
“You’re calling me a jealous jerk because the girl I’ve just kissed twice is going on a date with someone else? Is that what you classify as being a jealous jerk?”
“No, you’re a jerk because you trust that I’ll kiss him while I’m out with him.”
“Will you?”
I glared right back at him.
“I can’t believe you’d even ask me that. You don’t know me at all.”
“I guess not. The Lily I knew wouldn’t be trying to juggle two boyfriends at the same time.”
“Lucas is not my boyfriend, and neither are you. And, with the way you’re acting now, I’d never want you to be my boyfriend anyway.”
I turned and stormed out before he could see my tears fall. Before he could see my heart shatter.
I was an idiot to believe Becks and I could be something together. I would never be with a boy who was so distrustful and jealous.
It was a good thing he let me see that side of him before things got too far.
As I stormed out into the hallway, I wiped away my tears.
Something told me things were too far already. And that was the worst feeling of all.
25
I didn’t even bother riding to school with Becks the next day. After our disastrous conversation, I hitched a ride with Kim and Rose instead.
There was a piece of me that felt so hollowed out. Like someone had ripped my favorite book to shreds. I wanted to talk to someone about this. I needed to talk to someone about this.
But there was no one to talk to.
I was still mad at Rose from what she’d done with me and Lucas.
Becks was definitely out of the question.
That only left one person. Calla, who was still not speaking to me.
I was alone now. More alone than even when Becks left. My heart ached as I walked through the hallways, trying to figure out what to do. Trying to understand when my life had gotten so messed up.
Calla walked past me, still unspeaking, and headed to English class. She looked nice today, in her clean, pressed jeans and a yellow T-shirt with a picture of a peacock on it. We’d picked that shirt out at the mall over the summer. A piece of our new wardrobe we’d bought in preparation for senior year. I told her the yellow complimented her skin tone. She said the peacock was her favorite bird because it represented fierce women. I told her the one on her shirt was a boy and we laughed for a good five minutes right there in front of the changing room.
I missed Calla. She was my other half. And now, we didn’t even speak.
What had happened to us?
I closed my locker and squeezed my English books against my chest.
It didn’t matter now.
Because I was done allowing her to push me away. I was going to get my friend back. I waited for a few minutes after the first period bell rang before going into class. But, instead of going to my seat, I walked up to Mrs. Beato.
“Excuse me, Mrs. B
eato.”
“You’re late, Lily.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that Calla has a very important phone call from her mom. They want her in the office ASAP.”
Mrs. Beato raised her eyebrows at me, then waved at Calla.
“Go ahead, Ms. Rogers.”
“I think I should go with her,” I whispered.
Mrs. Beato frowned.
“Fine. Come back when you can.”
I nodded, then waited for Calla to pass me. I saw the expression on her face as she went. She was worried. I couldn’t even imagine what must’ve been running through her head.
And I felt awful for doing this to her.
Hopefully, she’d find it in her heart to forgive me.
We walked out of the classroom and closed the door behind us.
Calla was already gone, powerwalking down the hallway.
Crap. I had to stop her, or else my plan would never work.
“Calla! Calla, wait up.”
She didn’t slow down. Didn’t even turn around.
“Calla!”
“What do you want, Lily?”
“There’s no phone call.”
That stopped her dead in her tracks.
She turned to me, a deep frown on her face, her hand on her hip.
“What do you mean there’s no phone call?”
“Your mom never called the office. I was just trying to get you out of the classroom.”
I’d finally caught up with her, but I had to jog to do it. I was out of breath. I’d been too long since I’d run in the mornings with my sister.
Calla’s hand went to her hip.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I wanted to talk to you, and you wouldn’t answer my phone calls or texts.”
“I was ignoring you.”
“I know.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry that we couldn’t hire your mom to cater for the carnival. We didn’t have the money. And I know you needed it.”
Calla peeked up at me through dark lashes. “How do you know that?”
“Rose told me. Why didn’t you tell me they were foreclosing on the Ivy Castle?”
Calla sighed, her face softening from anger to sadness. “Because I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s embarrassing. My parents have owned the castle for years. Now, to watch everything fall apart, it’s humiliating.”
“But you could’ve told me. I’m your best friend.”
“I know. But I was so angry at you for not giving my mom the money. Then, when I stopped being angry, I was embarrassed that I’d acted that way. So, I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Are you still angry with me?”
“No.”
“Can we be friends again?”
She nodded, her eyes going glassy. “I’d like that.”
Then, we were in each other’s arms, blubbering like babies, promising to never fight again. It felt so good to have Calla by my side again. So nice to finally have her to talk to and joke around with and have my back. Especially after what had happened with Rose and Becks.
“So, what did I miss?” she asked when we finally pulled away.
“So much,” I said. “Too much to tell you now.”
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “What should we tell Mrs. Beato?” I asked.
Calla smiled. “Keep up the waterworks. We’ll go into the office, I’ll call my mom and say hi. Then we’ll go back into the classroom sniffling, like something happened. I’ll tell Mrs. Beato everything is okay now, and we’ll be in the clear.”
“Clever.”
“Like a fox.”
“Vixen,” I said. “Those are the girls.”
“Thank you, Miss National Geographic.” She grabbed my hand. “Now come on. And along the way, you can tell me all about your crazy life.”
26
With Calla back on my side, the day grew a little more tolerable. We finished out English, which meant that my time with Adam Banks had finally come to an end. Thank goodness. One more day sitting with that jerk and I was going to throw something heavy at his head.
I was waiting for Calla to gather her things when I felt a presence behind me.
“Can I talk to you?”
It was Becks.
I somehow knew it before he’d even said anything.
Trippy.
“Fine,” I said, standing.
Calla caught my eye.
“I’ll catch you outside,” I said.
She nodded, and I walked out of the classroom, never once looking behind me at where Becks was walking. In fact, I didn’t look at him at all until we got out into the hallway and stood by the English door.
“So, I went by your house this morning and you weren’t there,” he said. His hair was more messy than usual, his hands in his pocket, his expression unreadable. He felt tense. Or maybe I felt tense and was projecting it onto him. I couldn’t be sure.
“I rode in with Kim and Rose.”
“Why?”
“I just needed some space.”
I bounced on the balls of my feet, my anger at him simmering.
“So, we have one fight and suddenly you’re not on speaking terms with me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So, what are you saying, Lily?”
“I’m saying I need some space, Becks.”
“Space? What does that even mean?”
“It means I don’t want to see you right now. I need time to think.”
“To think about what?”
“About everything.”
I pushed past him, moving farther down the hallway to where Calla was standing.
Becks was infuriating. Didn’t he understand that his words and his lack of trust, hurt me? And now he was acting like he didn’t know what he did? He knew exactly what he did, and from what I could tell, he hadn’t changed at all.
“Are you okay?” Calla asked, her eyes moving between me and Becks, who was still standing by the wall where I’d left him.
“Yes. I’m fine. It’s just… complicated.”
“It looked intense.”
“It was intense. But, it’s over now.”
Calla frowned.
“Well, not entirely over.”
My frown suddenly matched Calla’s. “What does that mean?”
“It means that while you and Becks were having your discussion, three separate people have come up to me saying that they weren’t going to be running a booth at the carnival after all.”
“What?!”
“Apparently, Sherri Shepherdson is telling people that they should back out because she’s throwing a rival carnival later in the year and if they go to yours, they can’t go to hers.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
I’d had enough. If Sherri thought she was going to undo all my hard work just because I was running the carnival and she wasn’t, she had another thing coming.
I handed my English book to Calla and walked down the hallway to the chemistry lab.
“Where are you going?” Calla called behind me.
But I was too worked up to respond. Too focused.
This carnival was for a good cause. It was for Kat, and I would not let an egomaniac like Sherri ruin that.
I found her and a group of her cronies standing near the chem lab door, laughing about something.
I didn’t stop walking until I was right in the middle of the group, hands on my hips, glaring at every one of them.
“Um. Can we help you?” Sherri asked.
I took in her dark eyes and round face.
How could she do this to Kat? How could she do this to me?
“Yes. You can stop manipulating people to pull out of the carnival,” I said.
“You mean your sham carnival.”
“No, I mean the school sponsored carnival. For Kat, your teammate. Remember her?”
“You have no right to do a carnival for Kat. You didn’t even know her.”
“I’ve known Kat sinc
e first grade. And, for the record, how well did you know her? How well did any of you know her?” I locked eyes with each member of the group, one by one. “I’ve been texting her mom. You haven’t even bothered to visit her in the hospital. What kind of a friend is that?”
The team, including Sherri, refused to meet my eye. Good. They deserved to be shamed.
“You think just because she’s on your softball team that it gives you the right to go around and act like only you can do something for her? Newsflash. If you were going to do something for Kat, you would have done it already. Instead, you’ve done absolutely nothing. All you did was go behind my back like cowards instead of talking to me face-to-face. If you really loved Kat, you would be trying to help me, not trying to steal this away from her.”
Sherri’s cheeks were beet red, and she was opening and closing her mouth like a fish. But I didn’t want to hear anything from her.
“When you are ready to lend a helping hand, you know where to find me.”
I gave them all one final glare before walking out of the circle of girls and back toward my second period class.
“Oh my God,” Calla screeched. “Who are you and what have you done with Lily McAlister?”
“Those girls had it coming.”
“But who knew you’d be the one to give it to them?”
I had to admit, I was feeling proud of myself. I’d stood up to the softball team girls. To Sherri Shephard, my sister’s nemesis.
Wait until I tell Rose.
I paused.
There would be no telling Rose just yet. I was still mad at her for what she’d done with me and Lucas. Maybe I’d wait a few days before I shared any news with her.
Calla handed me back my books.
“Hopefully this will stop everyone from giving up their booths.”
“And if it doesn’t, we’ll find a way. This is for Kat. Whatever happens, we won’t give up. I promise.”
Calla smiled. “I promise too.”
“Good. Now, all we need is to find a replacement for those three booths.”
“Does that mean you’re going to stand on a table at lunch again?”
I chuckled. “No, silly. Whoever left, it’s their loss. We’re going to check the waiting list.”