Through the Shattered Looking Glass

by Crane, M. L.

  “No, that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about the sudden change in his personality. He was so vibrant and full of life during the entire session. But then, when I stood to leave, he was…different.”

  Dr. Pelletier looked at Alice quizzically. “Alice, I’m sorry, but I’m not following you. His behavior seemed like typical Maddock behavior to me.”

  Alice rubbed her shoulder and neck. The aches had returned.

  Alice continued. “I’m talking about the last thing he said to me as I was leaving. Something about someone coming for me. He…he completely changed.”

  “Alice dear, the only thing I heard him shouting was Twinkle, Twinkle! Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

  How did Dr. Pelletier not see the change in Maddock? How did he not hear what Maddock said? Was Dr. Pelletier lying to Alice? Or, was this all in her head?

  Alice closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Her migraine had returned in full force, reminding her that it had never actually left.

  “I’m…I’m fine. I think it’s just this awful migraine,” Alice said.

  “I will be right back. I’ll go and fetch Nurse Allen. Perhaps she can bring you some Aspirin. Go sit down in the meeting room and wait for me.”

  Alice watched Dr. Pelletier hurry down the hallway.

  Alice opened the door to the meeting room and went inside. She nearly fainted when she saw that Maddock was no longer in the room. Staring back at her was a set of small, lavender eyes.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Alice slowly closed the door behind her. The sound of the door latching was amplified by her migraine, making her wince. She squinted at Whitney, trying with an extreme amount of effort to focus on the young girl. The florescent lights made Alice’s eyes feel as though they were being pushed deep into her skull.

  How is this even possible? Where did she come from? And where is Maddock? I must be losing my fucking mind! Alice thought as her mind reeled in pain and confusion as her body swayed slightly, threatening to lose consciousness.

  Alice’s heart was pounding which only added to the intensity of her migraine. It pounded with so much force that she could hear the sound of her blood whooshing in her ears as it rushed through her head with every hammering beat.

  Why is this happening to me? What is going on here? What the hell is wrong with this place?! Or… Is it, me? Maybe I am sick. I need to get out of here! Alice thought.

  Alice wanted to leave, but her feet seemed glued to the floor, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Whitney. She was frozen. The shock held her hostage.

  Without meaning to, Alice took one shaky step forward. No! What am I doing? Alice, you need to leave! she thought, trying to will her feet to turn around and go out the door. But her feet seemed to have other plans.

  Alice took another involuntary step forward as though an unseen force was pulling her towards the young girl. Her legs trembled so violently that they felt as though they were vibrating. She was afraid that her legs were going to give out and that she would crumble to the floor at any moment.

  Step by cautious step, Alice entered the room, keeping her gaze on Whitney.

  Alice unwillingly shuffled her feet across the floor and slowly inched her way over to the table. She paused, hoping that her feet would finally get the message and let her run away, but then she lowered herself into the chair across from the child.

  Alice waited for Whitney to say something, but the girl only stared at her. So, Alice spoke first.

  “Where is Maddock?” Alice asked, trying to sound calm but her voice came out tight and dry.

  “He was late.”

  The sound of Whitney’s voice startled Alice. After the silent stare-down, she hadn’t expected the little girl to respond so quickly.

  “Late for what?”

  “If you don’t hurry, Mary Ann, you’ll be late, too.”

  Alice shook with fear. Not of Whitney, but of what was to come. Without knowing why, she believed the child.

  “Whitney, I believe you, but I don’t understand what is happening. What is wrong with this place? How do you know things about me? Did someone tell you? You need to help me understand so that I can help you.”

  Whitney crossed her arms and a pout formed on her bottom lip. “Don’t you know who I am?” she whimpered.

  “Yes, of course, I know who you are. I met you yesterday,” Alice said gently. Her fear was replaced with the urge to reach out and hold the little girl in her arms. Alice suddenly felt the need to protect the child more than anything.

  “No!” Whitney’s soft voice rose in pitch, taking Alice by surprise. “I mean from before that!”

  “I don’t understand, Whitney. I’ve never met you before yesterday.”

  A tear glistened in the fluorescent light as it rolled down Whitney’s pale white cheek. Alice’s vision blurred as her own tears welled up before spilling down her cheeks. Without any explanation as to why, an overwhelming feeling of loss came over her.

  “I killed the monster just for you, Mary Ann.”

  Alice held her breath. Her eyes grew wide and a lump formed in her throat. Alice’s back became rigged as every muscle in her body tensed up.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The pretty one. I made her go away.”

  “I don’t understand, Whitney,” Alice said. But that was a lie. She did understand.

  “I burned down the house to kill the monster inside.”

  Alice pushed herself away from the table as though electricity had just shot through her body.

  “Stop it,” Alice whispered.

  “I burned the monster that said all of those mean things to you.”

  “Please, Whitney. I said stop,” Alice pleaded, panic now rising inside of her.

  “I made sure she couldn’t get out. I made sure she couldn’t hurt you anymore.”

  “How do you know that? How do you know about the fire? Are you psychic or something? Can you see things? Who the hell are you, Whitney!” Alice shouted, becoming hysterical.

  “I was with you, Mary Ann! Don’t you remember! I was with you!”

  “NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

  This can’t be happening. She couldn’t possibly know about that! What is going on?! I need to get out of here! Alice thought.

  Whitney’s tiny body began to tremble, tears now streaming from her beautiful lavender eyes. “I love you, Mary Ann! I did it for you!”

  Alice stood and tried to run to the door, but she was too weak and fell to the floor. She sat there, sobbing uncontrollably.

  “Help us! She’s coming, and you have to stop Her! Maddock was too late! Don’t let Her get the rest of us, Mary Ann!”

  Through her sobs Alice asked, “Wh-who’s coming?! I d-don’t know what the hell you w-want from me?!”

  Alice’s head began pounding harder than it ever had before. The fluorescent lights seemed to get brighter making her eyes feel as though they were being gouged out of their sockets. The pulsating sound of her own blood rushing through her skull sent waves of nausea through her as the room began to spin. The floor felt as though it were shifting beneath her body, tilting and spinning her wildly about.

  Alice raised her head to look at Whitney and watched in horror as the shadowy figure came up from behind the small child. Whitney reached a hand out towards Alice and let out a blood-curdling scream. Within seconds the little girl was silenced as the black figure engulfed her.

  Just then, Alice’s world went dark.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Alice, age 7

  Festive decorations were strung up all around the house. Classic holiday music was emanating from a vintage record player, giving off the warm feeling of an old fashioned Christmas.

  Alice sat quietly on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, admiring all of the beautiful decorations. Gold and red glass baubles hung delicately on every limb. Bright white twinkling lights danced, making the gold beads and garland sparkle with holiday magic. A beaut
iful blonde haired angel, wearing a gold and white dress, was perched on top of the Christmas tree. The angel looked as though she were smiling down at Alice, watching over her.

  Alice’s eyes rolled with satisfaction as she deeply inhaled the delicious aromas that were wafting from the kitchen. The smell of the roast duck, glazed yams, fresh baked bread, apple pie, and an assortment of other fragrances that Alice couldn’t identify, was positively tantalizing. Her stomach rumbled with anticipation of the feast.

  Sybil was busy bustling around in the kitchen, cooking a plethora of food in preparation for the Christmas party. Each year, her group of friends would take turns hosting the annual Christmas party. This time, it was finally Sybil’s turn.

  Sybil knew that her friends talked about her behind her back. Poor Sybil. She is so pathetic. She’ll never be able to pull this off on her own. Little Miss Perfect honestly thinks she’s so much better than all of us. And what about her husband? For her sake, I hope the drunk stays locked up in his room.

  The hateful gossiping never bothered Sybil. On the contrary, she loved it. It just made those dumb looks on their faces that much better when she proved them wrong. Besides, Sybil didn’t think she was better than them; she knew she was. And she was going to make them eat their words once they saw how perfect her party was.

  Luckily, for all of Sybil’s two-faced friends, Randall wasn’t home. He hadn’t been home for several days. A few nights ago, Alice had overheard her mother crying on the telephone. Sybil was whining about Randall’s drinking and accusing him of cheating on her, making herself sound like the victim. Alice rolled her eyes, knowing it was all an act.

  Alice was glad her father wasn’t home. She had often wished that he would leave one day, and never come back. For the past few months, he had been acting stranger than usual. He would stare at Alice with an unsettling, hungry look in his eyes, and it made her incredibly uncomfortable. The way he eyed her up and down, made Alice wonder if her father had turned into a monster and was going to eat her. Alice kept her distance from Randall as much as possible.

  Christmas was Alice’s favorite holiday. Not for the presents, and definitely not for Santa Claus. Sybil had never allowed her to believe in him because he was nothing more than foolish nonsense. No, Alice loved Christmas because it felt different. It felt like an entirely different world. People were kinder to one another, and everything looked so magical and peaceful. But, the most important thing of all to Alice, was that even her mother was happier.

  Alice looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearly time for the guests to start arriving. She could barely contain her excitement. Alice’s mother had attended many Christmas parties before but had never hosted one. Sybil remarked that it was because the other ladies were jealous of her, and knew that she could throw a better party than any of them.

  Alice had never accompanied her mother to the other Christmas parties because she had been too young. But this time, the party was going to be at her house, so she had to be allowed to attend. Alice was thrilled to finally be a part of the festivities, and it made her feel very grown up.

  While Alice sat in front of the Christmas tree, she began to daydream. She pictured all of the women wearing beautiful ball gowns covered in lace and ribbons and all of the men wearing handsome suits. She imagined them all dancing and laughing, playing games and telling stories. It was a vision straight out of a Victorian Christmas story. Alice wondered if the party was going to be as perfect as the ones she’d seen in all of those old classic holiday movies.

  Alice put aside the lovely vision when she heard the sound of her mother’s high heels clicking down the hallway. She turned and smiled at Sybil, but her smile quickly faded when she saw the disappointment on her mother’s face.

  “Alice! What are you doing? Get up off the floor right now! You’re going to wrinkle your party dress!”

  Alice didn’t want to do anything to disappoint her mother today. Sybil was in such a wonderful mood, and Alice didn’t want anything to ruin that. She needed everything to be perfect.

  Carefully, Alice tried to stand up. Her party dress was so puffy that she was finding it difficult. Alice placed her hands on the floor for stability and shuffled her feet into position beneath her. When she finally felt that her feet were firmly on the floor and she had her balance, she stood quickly.

  That was when Alice heard the rip.

  Time seemed to stand still. Alice was afraid to move. She was afraid to look at her mother.

  Alice looked down at the damage. When she stood, she hadn’t realized that she had been standing on the ruffles along the hem of her dress. The white lace ruffles had been torn away from the satin blue fabric of her party dress.

  Alice’s heart raced, her little body trembled, and her palms began to sweat.

  Slowly, Alice looked up at her mother.

  Sybil’s cold, dark eyes were wide. Her face had turned crimson red, and her fists were clenched and shaking. Alice had seen her mother angry more times than she had liked, but she had never seen rage on her mother’s face quite like this. Alice was frozen with terror.

  Sybil stalked over to Alice.

  Alice didn’t know what to do. She wanted to run to her room and hide in her closet, but her feet wouldn’t move. She was locked in place, as though she were rooted to the floor.

  “Why do you have to ruin EVERYTHING!” Sybil roared.

  Alice opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter the words, I’m sorry, Sybil had raised her hand and brought it down violently. She struck Alice across the face with so much force that it sent Alice flying to the floor.

  Alice became hysterical with fear. Sybil was cruel, but she had never hit Alice before.

  Alice raised her hands in front of her face, trying to ward off the additional blows that her mother threw at her. She began screaming and pleading with her mother to stop. But Sybil kept swinging.

  “SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Sybil screamed as she lost control and came unhinged.

  After what felt like an eternity to Alice, her mother eventually stopped and backed away. Sybil stood there, glaring at Alice and panting like a wild animal while she tried to catch her breath.

  “I am going upstairs to freshen up. You will go up to your room, and you will stay there. I do not want to see you for the rest of the night. I will not let you destroy my Christmas party,” Sybil growled. She turned and began to walk away, then stopped and looked back at Alice. “You know, my life would have been so much better without you. I should have dropped you on your head the day you were born.” She gave Alice one last look of disgust and stormed out of the room.

  Alice was still too frightened to move. She remained huddled on the floor in shock. She heard her mother run upstairs to the bathroom and slam the door behind her. Once Sybil was out of earshot, it was as though a spell had been broken and Alice was free.

  Alice burst into tears. Her whole body shook as she sobbed uncontrollably. Why did her mother hate her so much? What did she ever do to deserve this? Why was she so unloved and unwanted by the one woman who should have made her feel safe?

  Alice suddenly felt so angry. For the first time in her life, she was not afraid of her mother. She was filled with hate. She was tired of trying to force Sybil to love her. She was tired of trying to gain Sybil’s approval. She was tired of trying to make Sybil proud.

  Alice pushed herself up off of the floor, using the coffee table as leverage. She sat on the sofa and wiped away her tears. In the center of the coffee table, there was a green candle. Alice stared at it, mesmerized by the flickering flame, and calmed by the faint aroma of pine permeating from it.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Alice’s eyes fluttered open. She squinted, shielding her eyes with her hand against the bright glow of the lights above her. The overwhelming scent of chlorine and bleach stung her nose and made her stomach turn. She looked around feeling a bit disoriented. After a moment of piecing together her surroundings, she realized that she was in t
he infirmary.

  Alice tried to sit up, but when she did, the excruciating pain in her skull was too much for her to bare. Sparks flashed, and darkness clouded her vision. She was afraid that she was going to black out again.

  Alice dropped her head and allowed it to sink back down into the plastic covered hospital pillow. She closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths. Alice heard someone bustling around the room, but didn’t know who it was until they spoke.

  “She’s alive! How are you feeling, buttercup?”

  It was Nurse Allen.

  Alice wanted to answer her, but she was afraid that her head would split open. So instead, she offered Nurse Allen a grunt.

  “That bad, huh? Well, I’ve got some bad news for you. You look as shitty as you feel, I can promise you that. You could be coming down with something. The Flu is going around right now. But, I’ve got some fluids pumping into you, and I gave you something for that headache. You should be feeling better in a little bit.” She patted Alice’s arm and walked over to the sink.

  Alice dared to take a peek and saw that she had an IV hooked to her arm. She grumbled and closed her eyes.

  Nurse Allen returned with a cold cloth and placed it on Alice’s forehead. “Oh, quit your whining. I nurture you and bring you back from the brink of death, and this is the thanks I get? Pfft! How ungrateful!”

  Alice cracked a smile.

  “You know, Alice, if you want to throw yourself into Dr. Pelletier’s arms, there are better ways of going about it. I mean, I get it. The man is sexy as hell.”

  Alice chuckled. She knew Rose would have laughed hysterically at the thought of Alice falling in love with Dr. Pelletier. Suddenly, Alice realized what Nurse Allen had said.

  “Wait, what? What are you talking about?” Alice cautiously opened her eyes to look at Nurse Allen. The pain was beginning to subside, but her head still felt like it was spinning.

  “Dr. Pelletier told me what happened. He said that after your meeting with Maddock, you started complaining about a migraine or something, and you passed out cold. You’re lucky that he caught you, buttercup.”