Through the Shattered Looking Glass

by Crane, M. L.

  “Huh? No. That’s not what happened.” Alice was so confused. None of this was making any sense. She knew she didn’t faint in his arms. She fainted in the meeting room. She was sure of it.

  “Oooh, yeah it did. You fainted like a little damsel in distress,” Nurse Allen teased.

  “No. No, that’s not possible,” Alice argued. She found the strength to sit up slightly, propping herself on her elbows. “I fainted in the meeting room. Dr. Pelletier told me to go sit down a-and…Maddock was gone. It was her…Whitney…she was in there…and the shadow…” Alice struggled to piece together the event.

  “Whoa, take it easy there, Dorothy Gale.” Nurse Allen laughed. “Trust me. You were in the hallway the whole time.”

  “But I-I saw her! She said she needed my help. She told me that she was the one who…”

  “Nope,” Nurse Allen interrupted. “You must have been dreaming. You never went back in the meeting room.”

  “But I…!”

  “Hey, hey! You need to take a chill pill. Oh, wait. I already gave you one!” Nurse Allen slapped her knee, laughing at her own corny joke.

  Alice just stared at her.

  “Really? Nothing? Not even a giggle? Well, damn. I thought it was pretty funny,” Nurse Allen said, feeling a bit disappointed that Alice didn’t see the humor in her joke.

  It wasn’t that Alice didn’t find Nurse Allen’s joke funny, it was that her thoughts were too busy racing.

  Alice concentrated and replayed it all in her head. Nurse Allen was right. There was no way any of that could have happened. She realized how ridiculous it all seemed and let herself drop back onto the pillow and closed her eyes. Once again, it had been another nightmare.

  “So, now I’m just curious. What did Miss Whitney say to you back in La La Land?” Nurse Allen asked.

  Alice shook her head feeling utterly foolish. “It’s so stupid. I can’t believe that I didn’t realize that it was just a dream.”

  “Awe, come on. Tell me anyway. You’ve piqued my interest.”

  Alice sighed. “Well, she told me that she was the one who started the fire. And then she started screaming about someone coming to get her, and they got Maddock, and I had to save them. I don’t know.”

  Nurse Allen looked at her puzzled. “Fire? What fire?”

  “When I was little, my house caught on fire. My mom was getting things ready for a Christmas party, and I accidentally tore my dress. She completely lost her shit on me. After she had finished beating me senseless, she ran upstairs to freshen up. I sat on the sofa crying. I remember staring at a candle that was sitting on the coffee table.When I got up to leave the room, I must have knocked the candle off. I remember just standing there, not doing anything. The flames were getting bigger, and I panicked. I ran outside, but my mom never made it out.”

  Nurse Allen stared at Alice for a moment, uncertain of what to say. “What about your father? Where was he?”

  “Oh, he showed up eventually. I have no idea where he was. He was hardly ever home when my mom was alive. Mom thought that maybe he was having an affair.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry, Alice,” Nurse Allen said, taking one of Alice’s hands into hers.

  So am I. I’m only sorry that the bastard wasn’t in the house too, Alice thought to herself, but said nothing to Nurse Allen.

  “Okay, enough of this depressing crap. Back to your wacky dream. Who was trying to get Whitney?” Nurse Allen asked, trying to change the subject.

  Alice thought for a moment, trying to remember what Whitney had said. “Hm. I have no idea. She never gave me a name. But, you know what? It was the strangest thing. I’ve been having nightmares of a shadowy figure, and I saw it swallow her up.”

  Nurse Allen raised her eyebrows. “Wow, I think you need to lay off the caffeine, Alice.”

  Alice laughed, feeling much better than before. Her headache had completely gone away, and her body finally felt relaxed.

  “All right darling, it’s time to get this thing out of your arm. As soon as you’re feeling up to it, how about you and I go down to the rec room and see the kids?”

  ~~~~~

  The rec room was just as pathetic and run down as the rest of the building. Chipped floor tiles, cracked and peeling paint, broken toys, and games with missing pieces. But the children didn’t seem to mind or even take notice. Even the joyful sound of their laughter made the room feel warm and bright, masking the gloominess around them.

  There was a young girl by the name of Melissa that was walking around and talking to no one in particular. She was reciting facts about history, her favorite subject. Her long brown hair and pinched features gave her a rather mousy appearance. She was petrified of cats and dogs so much so that just the mention of them would send her into hysterics.

  A boy named Donald seemed to be conducting and endless race. He was short and had an unusually large bottom that did not match up with the rest of his small frame. He watched with a pompous look on his face, barking orders at the small group of children. The children were running in circles chasing each other while squawking and squeaking like animals. Alice grinned and wondered to herself how Donald was going to decide who the winner of the race would be.

  A girl named Darcie sat alone by one of the windows. Most of the younger children were afraid of her, and the other teenagers her age didn't like her. She was obese and was extremely unattractive. She was playing with a baby doll alternating between shaking and beating it while calling it a pig, and rocking it gently while singing a lullaby. The rumor was that she had shaken her newborn baby to death after claiming that it was Satan's spawn and had turned into a pig.

  A boy named George was sitting at one of the tables and feverishly writing his name over and over on a piece of paper. Alice nudged Nurse Allen and pointed at him with a questioning look on her face.

  Nurse Allen shrugged. “He just recently started doing that. He's afraid that if he doesn't keep writing down his name, he might forget what it is.”

  Alice shook her head and chuckled. Then she spotted a young girl sitting on the floor across the room. She pointed at the child and said to Nurse Allen, “Um, you might want to stop her.”

  Nurse Allen looked to where Alice was pointing. “Mable! Spit that out!” she shouted and hurried off. The young girl was eating small rocks off of the floor, exclaiming that they were tiny cakes.

  Alice walked over to one of the windows and looked outside. There wasn't much of a view to look at. She watched as the overgrown weeds and wildflowers danced in the wind.

  Alice rubbed at her shoulder absentmindedly and noticed that it felt quite sore. Nurse Allen had told her that Dr. Pelletier had caught her when she fainted, but she must have hit her shoulder on something in the process.

  Alice pulled her shirt down over her shoulder and examined it. There was no sign of bruising, but there was a small red welt. It looked as though she’d been bitten by something. As old as this building was, it could have been anything. It didn’t appear to be infected, so Alice shrugged it off.

  Alice pulled her shirt up over her shoulder and looked back out the window. She could faintly see her reflection and was disheartened by what she saw. She looked so tired and aged. The stress was taking a toll on her. She was beginning to wonder if the internship was really worth it. Alice ran her hands through her hair, discouraged by how limp and lifeless it looked.

  While Alice fussed over herself, she could see someone coming up from behind her. Alice squinted, trying to make out any features. Her heart stopped as she watched the shadowy figure reach out for her.

  Alice gasped and spun around, only to find Donald standing behind her with his hand outstretched.

  "Prizes, please."

  Alice scanned the room, frantically looking for the shadowy figure, but it was gone.

  Donald cleared his throat and repeated, "Prizes, please."

  "What?" Alice asked, feeling confused.

  "We all won the race, so we all need prizes."

  ~~~~
~

  Things were not much better when Alice got home that night. Rose had gotten worse.

  Alice decided not to tell Rose about all of the strange things that had happened that day. With Rose not feeling well, the last thing Alice wanted to do was worry her.

  Alice spent the rest of her evening waiting on Rose and pampering her. They sat on the porch swing together enjoying the cool night air. Alice wrapped Rose in a blanket and brought her a cup of tea. She painted Rose’s toenails a vibrant shade of red while telling her random bits of gossip.

  Rose remained silent.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Alice was hopelessly lost in the middle of the most curious looking forest she had ever seen. As she began making her way through the unusual greenery, she was suddenly struck with the shocking realization that it wasn’t a forest at all. She was standing in the middle of a gigantic garden.

  Vibrant green blades of grass as wide as tree trunks swayed like curtains in a lazy summer afternoon breeze. Flowers as tall as skyscrapers danced to the rhythmic gusts of wind, making them seem alive. For a moment, Alice even thought that she could hear them whispering to each other, sharing a private conversation that she had intruded on. The dirt beneath her feet felt like crushed rock, and several of the pebbles around her were as large as boulders.

  How is this even possible? Either the garden is abnormally large, or I’ve shrunken down to only three inches high, Alice thought to herself.

  In the distance, Alice could hear the faint cries of a kitten. She continued to push through the tall blades of grass, making her way through the garden towards the sound.

  What if the kitten matches the size of this garden? I can’t even imagine how big its claws would be! Oh, God. Please, let it be normal sized, Alice thought.

  To Alice’s relief, when she came upon the kitten she saw that it was small enough to fit in the palm of her hand.

  It was a beautiful kitten with silver fur. Alice knelt down beside it and began to stroke the tiny animal. The kitten purred happily and nuzzled against Alice’s hand. Alice scooped it up and cradled it in her arms like a baby, rubbing its tiny belly. The kitten seemed quite content and looked as though it were going to fall fast asleep.

  Just then, Alice could sense someone standing in front of her. Her heart began to race. She was afraid to look up. That’s when she heard it. That familiar icy voice, so full of hate.

  “Alice…”

  Alice forced herself to looked up and found herself face to face with the shadowy figure.

  “Why? Why do you keep doing this to me? Why won’t you just leave me alone?! What do you want?!”

  “I want you, Alice…”

  “But, why? What have I ever done to you? Who the hell are you?!”

  The shadowy figure just cackled, sending shivers down Alice’s spine.

  Before Alice had time to react, the shadowy figure lunged forward and wrapped its ghostly hands around the kitten and began to squeeze.

  “NOOO!” Alice screamed and lashed out at the apparition. But in an instant, it had vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving Alice swiping at nothing but air.

  Alice searched all around her, waiting for the shadowy figure to strike again. But it was gone. That was when she realized that the kitten had stopped purring. She looked down, hoping that it was still alive.

  “There, there. It’s all right,” Alice cooed, stroking the kitten’s cheek tenderly.

  The kitten’s eyes flew open, and a small growl rumbled deep in its throat. Its mouth began to gape open, wider and wider. Its growl began to turn into a gurgle as a strange amber liquid sputtered from its mouth and nose.

  Alice watched in horror as the kitten’s eyes bulged out of its head. One eye burst, spewing blood and other fluids across Alice’s arm. Alice dropped the kitten to the ground and quickly backed away from it. The tiny animal lay on the ground writhing in pain. Its body began to contort, its spine bending unnaturally backward, fluids spurting from every orifice.

  Alice brought her hands to her mouth in disgust as she watched the gruesome sight unfold before her eyes. The sounds of the kitten’s gurgled screams and its delicate bones snapping were too much for her to take.

  Alice turned to run away, but before she could, the ground began to shake. She looked down and watched in disbelief as the earth beneath her feet split open. In an instant, it consumed her.

  Alice was falling into the depths of the unknown. She frantically reached out into the darkness clawing at the air, looking for something to grab hold of, but there was nothing. Nothing but pitch black emptiness surrounding her.

  ~~~~~

  There was a loud thud, and it jolted Alice out of her sleep.

  Alice had fallen out of her bed and was laying on the floor tangled in her sheets, staring at the ceiling. She stayed there panting heavily, too tired to move. Silent tears rolled down the sides of her face, soaking her hair and creating small pools in the creases of her ears. This time, she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

  Alice felt so alone and defeated. She wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Either the stress of the internship was more than she could handle and it was making her crazy, or there was something unnatural going on at the Lutwidge Mental Health Institute. Alice was no longer certain if she could even trust Dr. Pelletier. And to make matters worse, Rose was terribly ill, and she wasn’t showing any signs of getting better. It made Alice feel so helpless. Rose was the strong one, and without her by Alice’s side, Alice felt lost.

  With no one to comfort her, Alice remained on the floor and cried herself back to sleep.

  That morning, Alice sat out on the porch alone, sipping her tea. Rose was still asleep, and Alice didn’t want to wake her.

  Alice’s thoughts swam through her head. She desperately needed someone to talk to, but the only person she truly trusted was too sick to listen. There was only one other person that she felt comfortable enough with to talk to and that was Nurse Allen.

  Alice gulped down the rest of her tea, deciding that she would tell Nurse Allen everything. As she stood from her chair, she felt a hot stinging sensation on her shoulder, making her yelp out in pain. She examined her shoulder and saw that the red welt was swollen, and a small drop of blood rested on the surface.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Alice sat at a table near the window in the cafeteria with Nurse Allen. She could hear the cafeteria workers rushing about in the kitchen. Pots and pans clanged so loudly that it sounded as though the dishes were being thrown around. She heard one worker shout, “You’re putting too much pepper in that soup!” Another worker shouted back, “Excuse me, but who’s the cook here? I’ll put as much pepper in the soup as I damn well please!”

  Alice pushed her eggs around on her plate with her fork, uncertain as to why she even bothered getting anything to eat since she wasn’t feeling very hungry. With all of the stress, lack of proper sleep, and worry for Rose, she was feeling a bit nauseated.

  Alice kept glancing out the window, feeling nervous about telling Nurse Allen anything and was unable to look her in the eye.

  Sensing that something was wrong, Nurse Allen asked, “All right, what’s going on?”

  Although Alice had spent her morning practicing what she had planned on telling Nurse Allen, she suddenly found herself unable to speak. So, she just shrugged and continued playing with her eggs.

  “Oy!” Nurse Allen tossed a piece of toast at Alice, hitting her in the forehead. “Touching your ears with your shoulders isn’t an answer. So, why do you look like someone just ran over your puppy.”

  “It’s just; I don’t know. I-I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

  Through a mouthful of toast, Nurse Allen mumbled, “Do what?”

  Alice sighed and met Nurse Allen’s gaze. “This internship. This place! I just don’t think I can do this anymore.”

  “Alice, you seriously need to stop being so hard on yourself. You’re doing fine!”

  “No, you don’t understan
d. I don’t know what it is, but this place is just…you know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything. You’ll just think I’m crazy.” Alice immediately began to regret saying anything.

  Nurse Allen threw down the last bit of her toast onto her plate and dusted the crumbs from her hands. She leaned forward on the table and gave Alice a stern look. “Listen. To be perfectly honest, everyone is a little crazy. I think you are just under a lot of stress and your insecurity is fueling it. I think you need to give it a few more days before you decide to throw in the towel.”

  Alice desperately wanted to believe that it was just stress, but she knew deep down that there was something more going on.

  “I’ve been seeing things,” Alice said before she could stop herself. Now there was no going back.

  Nurse Allen paused with her teacup half-way to her lips. “Huh?”

  Alice took a deep breath and continued. “It’s a shadow.”

  “A shadow. Uh, huh. Hate to burst your bubble buttercup, but there are shadows everywhere. It occurs when light hits an object at a certain angle and…”

  Alice rolled her eyes and grunted. She knew that Nurse Allen was just trying to kid around, but she didn’t appreciate it when she was trying to confide in her.

  Nurse Allen threw her hands up in surrender and said, “Sorry. Sorry. I promise won’t tease you anymore. Go ahead. I’m listening.”

  “It’s not like regular shadows that you see on the floor and on the walls. This one is solid, and it moves. It…it’s a person. But, I don’t know who it is. It keeps calling out to me.”

  “It talks to you? What does it say?”

  “She says that she’s coming for me.”

  “So, it’s a woman?”

  Alice nodded her head. “Mhm. Well, I think so. It sounds like a woman’s voice.”