Chapter 4
March 1902
Heronton, Montana
“Will your parents like me?” asked Victoria nervously as Victoria and Joseph approached Joseph's parents' house.
“I honestly do not know, Victoria.” Joseph feared they would hate her. They had not once commented about her in their letters.
The house had not changed much, just a bit worn out looking then he remembered. It was still cold here compared to Mobile. Lord, please help my family to love Victoria as much as I do. It is Easter, a time to celebrate. I want this to be a good experience for her. One day I may ask her to be my wife. Victoria is the only one that makes my heart race just seeing her. She has secrets though that would need to be revealed before I can declare my love.
The last two months together had been rewarding, but interesting with Victoria's moods varying greatly. Mr. Rockford still had not found a replacement for May and at times it seemed that he did not want to. Victoria was doing much better with the added rest and was instrumental in the home moving forward so quickly. The construction crew would begin in another two weeks.
What was he thinking bringing Victoria here? Things were working out well at Mr. Rockford's. Memories started to flood through his mind. He thought he was happy when he lived at home. Originally, he was overwhelmed with homesickness. Now, he did not know what to think. Had he been happy? If he had, it did not compare to spending time with Victoria. Maybe that is what his parents wanted him to find out.
Victoria noticed how Joseph looked around. It was as if he had not seen it in years when it had only been months. She expected him to be full of excitement to return home, yet he appeared to be dreading knocking on the door. What did he mean he did not know what his parents would think? Did his parents know about her past? Did Joseph? He had not said. Not wanting to remember was one of the reasons she did not want to return home since her father was no longer there. It was just too painful. At least Joseph had wanted to return home, now she was not so sure. Never had she thought she would feel, such at home as she did at Mr. Rockford's. The love she felt now overshadowed any memories of her childhood home. A diminutive smile crept up on her face.
“Are you ready to meet my family?” Asked Joseph nervously, resting his eyes on Victoria.
“As ready as I can be since you do not know what your parents will think of me,” stated Victoria. Her smile faded.
“I am sorry to worry you, Victoria. My parents will love you,” Joseph wrapped his arm around her waist and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She seldom wore hats, even though it was the custom. His heart fluttered at the closeness. Hugs seemed to calm her. He tried to keep it friendly, but he never felt it was a friendly hug and desired her more every time he was near.
“Thanks for trying to comfort me Joseph. We should go inside and see what they think. There is no sense in staying on the porch freezing. I know now why Uncle Rock gave me a coat as an early Easter gift.”
“Sorry to keep you out in the cold.” Joseph opened the door and walked in ahead of Victoria.
Victoria slowly followed Joseph as she took in her surroundings. The decor was not much different than her family home. There was the same small table in the entry hallway with a framed mirror hanging above it. Unlike her family home, the table had a few homemade decorations that appeared to be made by children. Victoria picked up a small cross that had been whittled from a small branch. It was simple and lovely. The twine holding it together had begun to fray.
Joseph was almost to the parlor when he noticed Victoria was not at his side. Before he could get back to her, Henry was walking up behind her.
“I believe Joseph made that when he was twelve,” whispered Henry as his warm breath tickled Victoria's neck.
Victoria blushed as Henry spoke softly in her ear, not sure if his charming presence caused the crimson in her cheeks or knowing something more personal about Joseph. She never tired of his hugs and innocent kisses and longed for it to be more. Not ready yet to confess her sins out of fear of losing him, she would love at a distance, than not love at all. Promising Pastor Mary that she would follow God's guidance for her life, she would seek a divorce in God's timing and release Lawrence from his obligation. He needed to be able to move on. Through counseling with Pastor Mary, she realized she had never truly loved Lawrence as a husband nor properly grieved the loss of her father. Lawrence was a means of escape from her loss and it was best to move on with her life.
“Victoria, I would like you to meet my cousin Henry.” Victoria moved quickly to Joseph's side. Henry's prolonged closeness was a bit too personal for her liking.
“It is a pleasure to meet you Henry.” Victoria extended her slender white-gloved hand.
“The pleasure is all mine.” Henry raised her offered hand and gently kissed her knuckles.
Victoria noticeably blushed not expecting such a charmer. Her experience in such matters was limited and her only intent was to shake hands. These new emotions truly disturbed her, being so moved by a stranger, since she thought she loved Joseph and was still married to Lawrence.
Joseph possessively wrapped his arm around Victoria's waist. He certainly needed to show some claim to her. The last thing he needed was Henry making any moves.
“Do not pay any mind to him, Victoria. He has always been a ladies man.”
“Do not listen to him. He is just jealous that his younger cousin has had more dates than him.”
“I am not jealous, Henry.” Joseph released his hold on Victoria's waist and reached out for her hand. She gladly took the offered hand. “I will show you to your room and then bring you to meet my parents.”
Henry just stood there as the two of them walked down the hallway and entered Joseph's bedroom.
“I hope you do not mind using my room.” His voice shook slightly. The woman he loved was standing in his childhood bedroom and would soon meet his parents. It was as if they were already engaged. What had he done?
“Where will you sleep, Joseph?” Victoria broke into his thoughts. She could see the distress all over his face.
“On the sofa,” replied Joseph after a brief moment to collect his thoughts and school his features.
“I cannot have you give up your bed for me.” Her distress was more than simply putting him out of his own room. She felt it was too intimate to be sleeping in his bed.
Joseph ignored Victoria's comment, set their bags down and began looking around his room. Tears pooled in his eyes as the realization that all of his personal items were missing. The bookshelves were nearly bare, and did not contain any of his books. He opened up his top dresser drawer and found it empty. Melancholy washed over him as a tear fell from his right eye. It had only been three months. Did his parents think he would never return?
Victoria watched in silence as Joseph moved about the room. She knew from cleaning his room in Mobile that someone had redecorated this room. Even though he had only been at Uncle Rock's for a short time, Joseph had personalized his room with various mementos he had brought from home and a few new items. She said a silent prayer for him knowing he must be devastated to find all his belongings gone. Thankfully, she would never have to know the feeling since she would never return. Knowing he needed some comfort, Victoria walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and gently kissed the back of his neck.
Victoria's touch was just what he needed. Even though Joseph knew Victoria was hiding something, he needed her in his life. They hugged, held hands and shared innocent kisses, but nothing beyond that. It was not for lack of desire. Joseph wanted to move the relationship forward and Victoria always held him at bay. He would relish any contact she wished to share and savored her closeness.
Without moving away, he softly spoke. “I hope the room is comfortable for you Victoria. I will keep my bags in here. It is not appropriate for us to share a room or be this close. Not that I mind. I just do not want my parents to assume we are engaged.” He hated to have to s
ay anything, but if she did not move soon his body was going to take over.
Victoria released her hold and moved quickly to the other side of the room. Her original instinct was to comfort, but it had felt so good she did not want to let go. Aggravated with herself, she replied harshly. “Joseph, I was just trying to cheer you up. There will never be anything between us and you know that. We are just friends. I believe this would be a good time for me to meet your parents.”
“Yes, Victoria, it is a good time to meet my parents.”
/ / /
“Aunt Jane, Uncle Bob, Joseph is in love. I never thought it would happen. I thought it was a crazy idea sending him away to find a wife. It worked. She is very charming and lovely.”
“Henry, we do not want to hear any more talk about Joseph being in love. It was a terrible idea to send him away. We plan to insist that he stay.”
“But why, Aunt Jane. I have never seen him happier.”
“There are things you do not know. I expect you not to bring it up again.”
“Henry, please go get your cousin and his friend. I would like to see my son and the woman he cares for.”
“Yes sir, Uncle Bob.” Henry dashed out of the kitchen.
Joseph and Victoria were slowly making their way to the kitchen when Henry stopped them. “Uncle Bob sent me to get you.”
“Is he happy that I am here with Victoria?” Joseph was visibly nervous and Victoria seemed scared to death.
“Of course, Uncle Bob is happy that both of you are here. He is excited to meet you, Victoria. You both need to take a few deep breaths and relax though. You do not want Aunt Jane seeing you this nervous. I have never seen her so worked up. I am here for you, cousin.”
“Thanks Henry,” replied Joseph with very little enthusiasm. He should have known not to bring Victoria. His mother had not once commented about her in her letters. She must know Victoria's secret. “Henry, please tell my dad we will see him a little later. I am going to show Victoria the farm before it gets dark.”
“Good idea. That will give Aunt Jane some time to settle her nerves. Do not worry Victoria, I will run interference for you. Joseph, I thought Aunt Jane wanted you to find a wife and now that you may have, she is freaking out. You are the last of her children to marry.”
“Henry, Joseph and I are only friends. We work together. That is all.”
“I am sorry. I thought you were a couple.”
“That is ok, Henry. Down South where we live, the people are friendlier. It is common to greet friends with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.”
“Sounds like a fun place to live. I would like to visit sometime.”
“We would have to check with Uncle Rock first, but I am sure he would not mind.”
“That sounds great. You two go take your walk. I will let Uncle Bob and Aunt Jane know where you went.”
Joseph and Victoria walked out of the house in silence. Joseph could tell Victoria was upset. He had never told her why he had left home. When they reached the barn, he escorted her inside. Thankfully the smell was mild due to the cold weather, but you could still make out the smell of hay and clean horses. Dad must have given them a good brushing.
“Joseph, I can never be your wife. Did you bring me here to show your parents you found someone?”
Joseph walked a few steps away from Victoria. He needed a moment to think and pray. Lord, what am I to do? I am falling in love with this woman. What is so wrong with that? I would like her to be my wife someday. I know now is not the time. When Lord? The sound of the barn door opening broke through Joseph's thoughts.
“Welcome home, Son.” Bob Holmes gave his son a big hug and then walked over to Victoria. “It is nice to finally meet you, Victoria. Joseph has told us so much about you. He is blessed to have such a good friend.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Holmes.” Victoria reached her hand out, but instead of Mr. Holmes shaking her hand, he gave her a hug.
After the hug, Victoria moved next to Joseph. She had not expected such a warm welcome. “Mr. Holmes, I cannot marry your son. I did not even know until a moment ago that he was looking. You do not need to be so welcoming. It is nice, but not necessary.”
“Victoria dear, I know you cannot marry Joseph at this time. At Joseph's request, we did look into your past.”
“You what?”
“Victoria, please do not be angry with Joseph. He was concerned about you. We only wanted to be able to help.”
“How is sharing my secrets going to help?”
“What are you talking about, Victoria. I was looking into the death of your husband. I thought if I knew how he died, I could help you grieve. You seemed too upset to talk about it.”
Victoria sighed with relief. His parents knew, but Joseph did not. She would need to tell him soon.
“Joseph, Victoria will tell you about her past when she is ready. While your Mother and I may know some things, we do not know Victoria's side. We will not discuss it with you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Holmes. I appreciate you giving me the time I need to tell Joseph.”
“What is so horrible that you cannot tell me now? We share everything else.”
“Do we.” Victoria eyed Joseph suspiciously as she took a step away from him.
“Of course. I have no secrets.”
“Then why is Henry talking about you finding a wife?”
“That is our fault, Victoria. Jane and I knew Joseph was not happy here. We wanted him to have more opportunities to meet someone. I am thankful you are friends. It is an answer to our prayers.”
“I am sorry I did not tell you, Victoria. I wanted to. I just never felt the timing was right.” Joseph walked away. He was not ready to confess his love. What man would be, when the woman continued to remind him she could not marry him.
“Joseph, do not be long. Dinner is almost ready.”
“We will be in in just a moment.”
Joseph and Victoria stood in silence as Bob exited the barn with a light step to his pace.
“Joseph, please be patient with me. I am happy with the way things are. I am not ready or able to give you more. I do care for you Joseph. I just cannot marry you,” Tears started to stream down her face. Joseph wrapped his arms around her from behind just as she had done when they were inside. He somewhat understood why Victoria did not want to make changes. He feared she would leave if he actually confessed his love and wanted as much time with her as possible.
“I will be patient, Victoria, I will not ask again about your husband. If my mother gives you any trouble, we will go home early.”
“You would do that for me? You would cut your visit short with your parents if I ask?” Victoria tears subsided and she wiped her fingers across her cheeks. They turned to face each other.
“Yes Victoria. I did not bring you here to force a confession or stress you in any way. I wanted you to meet my family because they are my family. I wanted you to see where I grew up.” Joseph took her hands into his and searched her eyes for a sign of relief.
“Thank you, Joseph. I will do my best. I want to get to know your family. We are friends. I will support you in finding a wife if you are truly looking.”
How could he convince her that she was the one? He did not want to find anyone else. She claimed she could not marry him, but her actions told a different story. More time in prayer was needed since he thought God was leading him to a married life with Victoria. Maybe he was wrong and God was only bringing them together for work, for the feeble-minded home.
“Are you ready, Joseph?”
“Yes, I am ready.”
/ / /
“Jane, I know you are not an admirer of Victoria. You need to give her a chance. You need to forgive her for her sins. God has forgiving her. We do not know what her life was like with her husband. She could be a good wife for Joseph.”
“Hardly. She is not good enough.”
“Jane the bible tells us in Matthew Cha
pter 7 verse 1 'Judge not, that ye be not judged'. ”
“Fine. I will not say anything to Joseph.”
Jane made her way to the bathroom. She needed a moment to compose herself and pray. Bob was right. She needed to forgive. She needed guidance that only the Lord could provide. Jane washed her face with cold water and brushed her hair. She would do her best to look happy. She needed to keep an open mind.
“Dad, where is Mom?” asked Joseph as he walked into the parlor with Victoria at his side.
“She will be out in a minute. She is just freshening up.”
Jane slowly walked into the parlor pausing in the entrance. From the back, Victoria was a lovely woman, shorter than she thought Joseph would like. Joseph heard his mother walk in, but waited until she was closer to turn around.
“Hi Mom, I would like you to meet my friend, Victoria. We work together for Mr. Rockford.” Joseph kept his distance. His relationship with his mother had always been formal with limited physical contact, definitely a contrast to his father who welcomed a hug with a hardy pat on the back.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Victoria.”
Jane stood there not even offering a hand to shake.
Victoria ignored Jane's frigid manner and offered a hug. To Victoria's surprise, the hug felt good. It had been a long time since her mother had hugged her, not that it was her mother's fault. When she hit her teen years, she felt too old for such things. Victoria released her hold and walked back to Joseph's side.
“I hope everyone is hungry. I made pot roast with potatoes and carrots for dinner.”
“My favorite. Thanks Mom.”
Jane failed to reply. She simply signaled with her arm for them to proceed to the dining room. Victoria admired the elaborate wares gracing the table as she entered the room. It had been some time since she had seen gold-rimmed china and crystal glasses. Joseph directed her to a seat that would put her directly across from him and next to his father. Henry walked in a moment later and joyfully sat down next to Victoria instead of Joseph. Bob and Jane then walked in with hands weighed down with the pot roast and a pitcher of lemonade. After everyone was seated, Bob said grace with the polish of a seasoned preacher and the meal began.
/ / /
“Jane, thank you for being so nice to Victoria tonight. I could tell she felt more relaxed after dinner. What changed? You originally did not want her here.”
“When she hugged me, I could feel how much she needed love.”
“Are you still going to ask Joseph to stay?”
“No, he is good for Victoria. One day, if she and Lawrence decide to get divorced, she would be free to many Joseph. I just hope that whatever the reason she left does not cause Joseph to leave her. I have never seen him so happy.”
“I hope she will open up to us while they are here. If not, we need to start writing letters to her. She needs to know that we are here for her no matter what.”
Victoria lay in bed that night talking with God. Lord, thank you for Mrs. Holmes being more welcoming by the end of the day. I certainly did not want to end the visit early and take time away from Joseph being with his parents. Guide me on when to share my story. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes know something about me, but it does not appear they have shared with Joseph. Pastor Mary indicated you would let me know when the time was right and I hope you do. I hope they can forgive me. Fear overwhelms me at times at the thought of losing Joseph. Strengthen me. Victoria continued to lie in bed, allowing her thoughts to wander. Even though she felt more peaceful than she ever had since accepting Christ into her life, sleep would not come.
She had just started to doze off when she heard noises from the kitchen. Slowly opening her eyes, she discovered it was already morning as the sun was just cresting over the horizon. Victoria sat up in bed, the covers quickly falling from her shoulders, and then quickly lay back down. After pulling the covers back up around her neck, she moved onto her side to get a better view out the window. The view was peaceful and she prayed she would feel that peace in her life always. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders after accepting Christ in her life, but the peacefulness did not stay strong. Pastor Mary had told her many times that she needed to forgive herself as the heavenly Father had.
Victoria watched out the window until the sun moved above the horizon. She dressed quickly in a simple wool gray dress. It was likely out of fashion, but it was all she could afford. There was no need for such a dress in Mobile. Since there was still a bit of noise in the kitchen, Victoria headed that way to see if she could help.
“Good morning, Victoria. I hope you slept well.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Holmes. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I am almost finished cleaning up. The guys have already eaten and are out checking on the animals.”
“Including Joseph?”
“Yes, Joseph is with his father this morning.”
“I did not realize that Joseph would need to work while we were here. I will go back to my room so I am out of your way.” Victoria started to walk out of the kitchen.
“You are not in my way Victoria. What would you like to eat this morning?” Victoria turned back around and walked to the table.
“What do you have that is already made?” She did not want to be a burden and cause this woman to change her mind about her.
“We have some muffins.”
Victoria smiled. “That is ok. The last time I had a muffin it nearly choked me to death.”
Jane looked at Victoria puzzled.
“I would be delighted to fix you something.”
Her reply seemed falsely sweet to Victoria's ears.
“I cannot ask you to do that. You just finished cleaning up.”
“I do not mind, Victoria.”
There was no way she was going to have this woman cooking for just her. “Do you have an apple and some cheese?”
“Yes, we do. We just stocked up earlier this week.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Holmes.”
Victoria was rooted to the spot watching as Mrs. Holmes gathered up the items. Her movements were rigid and forced. Jane clanked the plate down on the table nearly causing the red apple and chunk of Swiss cheese to slide off. Next she plopped the coffee down jostling it over the edge forming a ring on the white linen. No knife, spoon, cream or sugar was offered.
Victoria sat down and began to eat, keeping her eyes down. She could manage without the knife and preferred her coffee black. It was not until Victoria was ready for a second cup of coffee that she noticed that Jane had left the kitchen. After washing and drying her plate, she walked to the stove to pour herself another cup of coffee. Shock flooded through her at the realization that the pot was empty. Despising others waiting on her, regardless of the fact that she was a guest and did not know where anything was kept, she paced frantically trying to decide what to do. The desire for more coffee out weighted any reservations and she started opening up cabinet doors with a flurry. While she was looking for the coffee grounds, she noticed they were almost out of bread. There were plenty of muffins, but next to no bread.
Victoria was placing the bread dough in a bowl to rise when Joseph walked into the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee had lured him in. He normally did not get an extra cup at his parents. At Mr. Rockford's, Victoria made several pots throughout the day. The thought of Victoria making herself at home warmed his heart.
“You look lovely this morning.”
Victoria turned to see Joseph standing in the doorway. His husky voice and warm sentiment caused her to blush briefly before controlling her emotions. After several deep breaths, she replied.
“Thank you, Joseph. You should have told me how early everyone got up. Your mother was already cleaning up before I walked in. You know how much I dislike inconveniencing people.”
Joseph smiled at the mild but justified rebuff and was glad they were alone. Victoria was being her spunky self, which was something his mother would not approve of. It
was bad enough that she had sternly reminded him that his friend had slept late. She had not bothered using Victoria's name. He felt guilty enough that he had forgotten about Victoria this morning in his excitement to be home working alongside his father, despite the fact that he had slept on the sofa.
“What are you smiling at?”
“I am glad to see you made yourself at home and are relaxing a bit.” Joseph leaned against the door jam. He could not pull his eyes away from her. He had hoped she would be at home in his parent's house just as he hoped one day she would change her mind and decided that they could be more than just friends.
“What do you mean relaxing? I just put a loaf of bread on to rise.” The man was crazy staring at her like a lovesick schoolboy. No matter how many times she told him they could not get married, he still looked at her with love in his eyes. She looked a fright with her dress spotted with flour and hair unruly. He looked quite handsome in his blue plaid shirt and faded blue jeans.
“Exactly, you feel relaxed enough to put me in my place and bake a loaf of bread in someone else's home.”
“I had to do something,”
“I know. I am sorry I did not inform you of our morning routine. Is there enough coffee for me to have a cup?” Joseph had finally made his way into the kitchen, walked up behind Victoria, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He lingered close to her.
Without turning away from the counter, she replied. “Of course. I know how much you drink each day. I was surprised the pot was empty when I went for a second cup. I did not think I woke that late.” Victoria began busying herself by wiping down the counters. She needed to get some distance between the two of them, since it was not proper for them to be so close regardless of how much she enjoyed it.
“I am sure it was not late. My family does not drink a lot of coffee. Feel free to make a pot whenever you want more.”
“Is there a reason they only drink a little? I do not want to cause them any financial hardship.”
“They can afford the coffee, Victoria. They just do not like it as much as we do.”
“So what brings you inside?”
“I came to see if you would like to take a ride around the farm this morning. Dad asked me to check the fence lines.”
“I do not think so. I will just keep myself busy in the kitchen.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am sure, Joseph.”
Victoria poured herself and Joseph a cup of coffee. Joseph gladly took the cup and brought it up to his nose to take in the smell. It was not as rich smelling as the coffee Mr. Rockford purchased, but it did lift his spirits. The aroma always put him in a good mood. No longer in a hurry, he sat down at the table to enjoy his cup of coffee.
Mr. Holmes walked into the kitchen a few minutes later. “I was wondering what happened to you.”
Joseph quickly stood. “I am sorry Dad. Victoria had made another pot of coffee. I just could not resist. Victoria will not be joining me today, so I still have time to check all the fences.”
“Since Victoria is staying inside today you should have Henry go with you. Between the two of you, you can handle any needed repairs.”
“We will take care of it. Victoria, will you pack a lunch for Henry and me? We may be awhile if there are a lot of repairs?”
“Sure, I will have it ready for you in a few minutes.”
Joseph made his way out of the kitchen to get Henry. The sooner they started, the sooner they would be back so he could spend time with Victoria.
Victoria's Family Page 3