Luna

by Adams, Harper

  Luna

  As I make the boys a sandwich, I listen to their conversation. It makes me smile as I hear the teasing between them and roll my eyes as they talk about their girls. Typical hot-blooded males with everything going for them. I’m betting they’ve never been turned down or suffered a broken heart. I expect there are many littering the ground behind them though. Like their father, these boys are devastatingly handsome and have the power to mess with a girl’s mind.

  They flick on the set and put their feet on the table as they start watching a movie. As I set their plates down, I frown. “Feet off the table, boys. Remember, good manners cost nothing.”

  I giggle at the expressions on their faces and nod toward the food.

  “Here you go, my special teenage hunger buster. This should keep you going until dinner.”

  Marius looks at me and I see the amusement in his eyes as he does as I say. Caleb looks at me with a frown. “Who died and made you mom?”

  I shrug. “Nobody, but like I said, manners cost nothing. I mean, of course you don’t have to listen to a word I say, after all, I’m just the hired help. But then again, you may want to keep me on side because I’m guessing you kinda like having someone around to feed you 24/7. So, if I demand a few manners as payment then I don’t think that’s a high price to pay, wouldn’t you agree, honey?”

  He grins and make a big show of taking his feet off the table. “Well, if you put it like that, honey, who am I to argue with my stomachs best interests?”

  I head back and start clearing up. It’s good to have the distraction. It’s been a few days now and even though it still hurts like hell, I am finding a way to deal with my grief. Maybe it’s because I’m here and not at home. The thought of returning to my apartment fills me with fear. The memories will be too hard to bear and maybe I should start looking for a new place to live.

  Once I’ve cleared the kitchen, I decide to test my new-found strength and head upstairs. I have yet to brave the sight of my belongings that were stored in the room next to mine. Maybe it’s time to face the fear.

  Taking a deep breath, I head inside the room I haven’t dared yet see. Like my room, this one is large and tastefully decorated. My eyes fill as I see the battered furniture from my apartment looking completely out of place in all this luxury.

  Reaching down, I pick up a small table that I rescued from the dumpster in the alley. Sly helped me find some paint and all we could find was a hideous orange color. I laugh at the memory this piece brings. Sly and I laughed for days after I painted this. Every time he saw it, he would roll his eyes and tell me I had no taste.

  I smile at the memory. Then another chair catches my eye and I picture Sly sitting in it eating his pasta. I only had two chairs, and they were rescued from a café that was closing on 12th street. Sly saw them throw them in the side alley and proudly brought them to me. I scrubbed them and made some cushions out of some old fabric and an old pillow. I was so proud of those chairs. It didn’t matter that they were another man’s trash. They were everything to me.

  I sit in the nearest one and let the memories flood through me. There are so many of them tied up in these things. How I will miss the simple things that we shared and got the greatest pleasure from.

  I must sit for a good thirty minutes before I decide to head back and start preparing dinner. However, as I turn to go, something catches my eye and my heart stills. Tucked in the corner and looking like it’s seen much better days, I see Sly’s raincoat. My heart breaks as I picture him wearing it. It was all he had and he must have taken it off while he slept.

  I head over and with trembling fingers, grasp the fabric and hold it to my cheeks. It smells damp and musty and of a life lived rough. The tears fall as I remember the man who wore it. The one person I loved unconditionally and the one I never really knew until the end.

  As I squeeze the fabric, I feel something crackle inside and I sit on one of the chairs and search for the source. Something appears to be in the lining and as I feel for it, I can tell it has been crudely sewn in. Carefully, I unpick the stitches and draw out a long envelope. The words on the front swim before my eyes.

  ‘Luna.’

  ~ 18 ~

  Devlin

  I go in search of Luna. It seems quiet and the boys are engrossed in some movie or another. I feel the need to constantly check on her and worry when she’s not by my side.

  I hear her gentle cry coming from the room next to hers and push the door open. She’s sitting on one of her chairs holding a piece of paper in her hands and the tears are falling fast.

  In two steps I’m inside the door and reach her in seconds. I squat down before her and wipe the tears from her eyes. “What’s the matter, honey. Tell me, maybe I can help.”

  She thrusts the paper toward me and sniffs. “It’s from Sly. Read it, it explains everything.”

  I sit in the chair opposite her and start to read.

  Luna.

  If you’re reading this, then I’m gone. I couldn’t leave without telling you what I was too much of a coward to do in person.

  I am your father, Luna. There, I’ve said it. I don’t expect your forgiveness or your understanding but I did a terrible thing. I walked away from you when you were cold and crying. I turned my back on my own daughter because I didn’t think I was worthy. If I could change one thing in life, it’s that moment. I should have taken you with me and cared for you as you deserved. Your mom didn’t deserve you, she chose a difficult path and dragged you along the way.

  When I left you that day, I vowed to make you proud and come back for you. It took me six years before I finally felt I was worthy. But you had gone. Your mom had taken you where I never thought to look. It took me many years to find you but it was worth every second of the pain of the search. Because you are beautiful, Luna. Inside and out and I am the proudest man alive.

  Despite everything you have turned into the sweetest, kindest, bravest woman in the world. You are everything I hoped to have in a daughter and more.

  I am proud of you, honey and love you with every beat of my heart.

  Now the only thing left is to reveal to you what I worked hard for all those years. I wanted to make you proud to call me your father, so I set about building myself back up. I appeared to have a knack for gambling and what better way to utilize it than to work on Wall Street. I was unstoppable and made many men rich beyond their wildest dreams, myself included. I never spent the money I made and invested it all in a trust fund for you. You thought I had nothing when I found you and that was what I wanted you to think. It was important to get to know you as a person before reality bit.

  Now for the hard part. I had cancer, and it wasn’t the forgiving kind. I had six months tops that’s what the doctors told me. You are probably wondering why I didn’t use my money to help me fight the battle before me. There was no point. It would buy me a few months, more at best. So, I decided to save all the money for you—to give you the life we both talked about for hours. I kept my secret to save you the pain of watching your father die when you had just found him. Being homeless helped more than you’ll ever know. We come into this life with nothing and that’s how we leave. I wanted our time together to be special and not tinged with recriminations or discussions about the past. I wanted to become your best friend and for a while—I was. The time I shared with you was the happiest of my life. It was worth more than possessions and made me the richest man alive. Thank you for being such a great friend and although you never knew it, a loving daughter.

  So here it is, my last will and testament which I leave all to you. Go to this address and enter the code below in the safe deposit box. Inside is your inheritance my darling girl. Where I failed in life, I hope to succeed in death. It’s all yours and I hope you never have to go without again.

  Always remember I love you, Luna. I always have and I always will.

  Dad xx

  As I look up in astonishment, she breaks before my eyes. Huge sobs wrack her body a
nd the tears fall thick and fast. I pull her toward me and just hold her as she lets it all out. She needs this. This is the catalyst that will help her move on and I’m with her every step of the way.

  The rest of the night is spent just holding her. After a while I walk her to her room and persuade her to lie down and rest. As I turn to leave, she says in a small voice, “Please stay with me. It feels good when you hold me.”

  I turn and look at her lying on the huge white bed. She looks so small and vulnerable and once again I feel the anger stirring inside me for the men who have caused her so much pain.

  I lie down beside her and pull her close. We stay that way for most of the night. We talk and she opens up about her life. She tells me everything and I tell her nothing. If she knew who I was, she would be out of here faster than I could blink. Who would want me, anyway? A symbol of all that is bad with the world and a talisman for evil. I instill fear, not love and the myth is equal to the reality. I am bad news with a capital B. I don’t deserve the love of a woman like Luna but I crave it more than air.

  Luna

  When I wake, I’m not alone. Strong arms hold me against a hard-toned body. I listen to his steady breathing and my heart flutters. Oh my god, I’m in bed with my boss. This is a surprise. I know we are dressed but even so, if Sheena could see me now!

  I find myself enjoying every minute of it which surprises me. I’ve never been one to seek a man’s company other than for friendship. Yet Devlin Knight is the exception to every rule I have made. He’s worked his way inside my mind like a heat seeking missile. I think about him all the time and crave him next to me.

  I giggle as he groans. “This bed is so hard. As soon as I manage to make my limbs work again, I’m ordering a new one.”

  I giggle and he pulls back and smiles.

  “It’s good to hear that sound, Luna. I’ve missed it.”

  I turn to face him and once again our faces are as close as can be without touching and I smile at him with a happiness I shouldn’t be feeling.

  “Thanks again, Dev. You are always here for me and I don’t know what in god’s name I did to deserve you.”

  I see something spark in his eyes which mesmerizes me. He looks lost and alone and there is a deep sadness behind them. Without thinking I reach up and stroke his cheek gently. I watch as his eyes darken with desire and I don’t even hesitate and move my lips to his. As our lips touch it feels as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. His lips taste like home but then I always knew we would end up here.

  His hand reaches up, and he runs his fingers through my hair and pulls me closer. As we kiss, nothing else matters. Everything I want is holding me close and I want to give him the world. He is the man for me even though I should run for the hills. I know he spells danger and is a complex character but I also know a lost soul when I see one and he is more lost than most. I can make a difference to his life and I will take great pleasure in doing it. This is where I belong, I know that now, so I kiss him with everything I’ve got. I want to show him how much I love him.

  ~ 19 ~

  Devlin

  I watch Luna place a single red rose on her father’s coffin before it’s lowered into the ground. I give her a private moment and look around me with sadness.

  Just the two of us and the grave diggers waiting a short distance away. The priest has left after saying a few words and now it’s just the girl who is such a credit to her father and me.

  I stare at the ground and shiver. Luna insisted on a burial because she wanted a part of her father near her. She needs a place to come and visit and grieve for the man she never really knew. I don’t share her wish. I mean, what’s wrong with a cremation. I’ve always been partial to a raging furnace myself. Clean and clinical. Ashes to ashes dust to dust and I have built my life on the ashes of the lost souls I claim.

  She turns to me and wipes a tear from her eye and then she smiles and the sun comes out.

  “Come on, Dev. You can take me for that celebratory meal now.”

  Reaching for her hand, I smile inside. Only Luna would see the positive side to a funeral. She wanted a celebration of her father’s life, so I’m taking her to the best restaurant in town.

  As we sit contemplating the menus, I raise the question of her inheritance.

  “What will you do with your father’s money?”

  She looks a little wistful.

  “I think I’ll use it to help my mom first and then I want to build a homeless shelter with the rest.”

  I shake my head and pretend to frown,

  “I have a lot to teach you. You should invest the money wisely and grow the pot. Why waste it in this way?”

  She looks at me with a frown and I laugh inside. So predictable. I love playing with her.

  She shakes her head. “If anyone is doing the teaching, it’s me. What’s the use of having so much money and wasting it on fancy clothes and meals when you could do so much good? I want to help my mom because it’s my last shot at making her life better. I’ve paid for a drug rehabilitation program which will give her a fresh start. The hostel is in memory of Sly.”

  I shrug. “What about you? Surely, he wanted you to have everything. After all, he didn’t want you to ever go hungry again.”

  She smiles. “I’ll be ok. I mean, I still have my job at the Starlight club and I know the owner. He’s a nice man who would see me right. All I need is a regular wage and a place to call home. That’s all I need, not the fancier things in life.”

  I frown and she giggles. We have agreed to disagree about her returning to work at the club. It’s the last thing I want and yet she’s a proud woman and wants nothing more than to return to the job she loves. Almost as if she can read my thoughts, she says gently. “I want to go to work tomorrow. I need to get back to normal and that will be the first step. Just because you’ve been so kind, it doesn’t mean I can take advantage of it.”

  I feel the irritation starting to take hold and my eyes flash as I say roughly, “This is normal now, Luna. You don’t need to go back there; you have a role with me. Surely you can see that.”

  I watch as she stares at me long and hard and then says firmly. “Like I said, I want to return to work. I love caring for you and the boys but I’m an independent woman. What would it say about me if the first time a man showed me any kindness, I ditched my principles and lived off him? I’m sorry, Dev but you’ve got a lot to learn about me.”

  Despite my irritation I smile inside. Of course, she would feel this way, it’s who she is. Well, what Luna wants Luna gets and if she’s going to work tomorrow, then she had better get used to me being there with her.

  Despite our disagreement we have a good night and by the time we return home, I can tell she’s exhausted. The last few days have taken a lot out of her and I’m not sure she realizes just how much. Even though we’ve grown closer over the last week or so, we share nothing but the odd kiss or two. This is unlike me because usually a woman warms my bed after just a few hours in her company. It’s all I’ve ever wanted them for—that is before Luna. Now I just want to care for her and help her heal.

  We make our way into the house and I nod toward the kitchen

  “How about you whip me up your miracle drink before we turn in?"

  She nods and we head into the kitchen.

  The room is bathed in the darkness of night with only the moon to light our way. I make to switch on the light but Luna says softly, “Leave the light, Dev. I just want to appreciate the beauty of the moon for a while.”

  She moves across to the large window and looks out and my heart tightens as I see the small figure dwarfed by her surroundings looking in awe at what nature provided.

  Moving across to join her, I take her hand in mine and she smiles sweetly.

  “Man can never recreate the beauty of nature, Dev. I mean, look at that moon, it’s so awesome, isn’t it?”

  As the light catches her eyes and bathes her beauty in its ghostly light, I agree that mother na
ture is indeed a master. The woman staring at me with love in her eyes is testament to that.

  She whispers, “Sly loved nature as much as I do. Maybe I got it from him, we certainly shared the same outlook on life.”

  I nod but say nothing and she says hesitantly, “What do you think he meant when he said you needed me as much as I need you? And he said I’d know what to do. Do what and when? It’s as if he had a premonition about something that concerned the two of us.”

  I shrug and look out at the landscape bathed in the white light. “I think when people are about to move from one life to another everything becomes clear. They have an understanding of the life they are leaving and see things clearly, probably for the first time. Maybe he recognized that we needed each other in life. You have much to teach me and I you. Two kindred spirits who were always destined to meet.”

  She squeezes my hand and smiles softly.

  “I feel that. I always have. Even when I met you for the first time, I knew. You were so infuriating and thought you had the measure of me. I wanted to scream at you for being so blinkered and yet I wanted to get to know you and discover the man behind the sexy eyes and enigmatic smile. I suppose you’re the first man in my life I’ve ever been interested in in that way before.”

  Her words light up my soul and I turn her face to mine and stroke her bottom lip. I note how she quivers under my touch and her eyes darken with desire. It makes my heart sing as I see the effect I have on her and I say huskily. “I knew as soon as I saw you serving drinks at that bar that you were special. It’s why I kept on coming back. Everything I said and did was to get you to react. You surprised me then as much as you astonish me every day by your spirit. I don’t want you to leave, Luna. I want you stay here with me, forever. I want to build a life with you and make you happy. I want to protect and care for you as only I can and I don’t just mean by buying you things. I want to give you my heart where I’ve never given it before. Please say you’ll stay.”