Secret Way to the Heart

by Camille Regholec

  “You left them in their sickened condition?” William was clearly joking, but Jayne felt the same stab of guilt she had when leaving this morning.

  “Oh, I wasn’t going to, but Mother insisted.” Jayne started to walk away again, her steps quickening. “It is beginning to rain. I must go.”

  “Jayne, let me drive you home.” William waved toward a horse and buggy standing in the open horse shed behind the church. “As Providence would have it, I brought the carriage. I just need to stop for a moment at a client’s house to drop off some papers, but it is along the way. You’ll still get home sooner and also drier. We don’t want you to be sick when your husband returns, do we?”

  As Jayne opened her mouth to refuse his offer, the heavens opened, and a deluge came down upon them.

  “Come on!” William shouted as he grabbed her hand and ran toward the buggy. In a flash, he lifted Jayne into the buggy and scooted around the back to get in on the other side. With a broad grin, he threw a blanket across her lap and winked at her as he backed the buggy out and turned the horse toward Jayne’s home. “I have to stop at Miss Suzy’s to drop some papers off to her father.”

  “Suzy’s?” Puzzled, Jayne glanced at him as she wrapped the blanket around her skirt. “Wasn’t she in church this morning? Why didn’t you drive her home or give her the papers?”

  “These are official documents and must be handed to the person they are addressed to.” A grimace crossed William’s face. “Besides, I am sure you have noticed I am not Miss Suzy’s favorite person.”

  “Well, doing business on a Sunday won’t make you a favorite with quite a few people.”

  “True,” William agreed as he stopped the buggy in front of Jayne’s friend’s house. “But I know for sure where Suzy’s father will be on a Sunday. Sitting in front of the fire in his favorite chair.”

  “William, wait.” Jayne grabbed his arm to stop him. “These papers? They are not foreclosure papers like you gave my mother, are they?”

  “Yes, they are.” William was now frowning. “Someone will get a good farm for a cheap price. What they owe in back taxes is so little. You know, I just might go to that auction and start up in the real estate business. More people from the city will be moving up this way. I could make a fortune!”

  “William! You would buy a friend’s home out from under them?” Jayne pulled her hand away as she stared at the stranger she’d thought she knew. “Why not help them instead if you have the money?”

  “My job is to follow the law, and if I can profit from it, even better.” William climbed down and walked toward the house. “Besides, people know the consequences of their failure to pay the bills. Nothing is free in this world.”

  Tears fell from her eyes as William handed the papers to Susie’s father. The man’s shoulder’s slumped under the news. William had the audacity to softly whistle as he climbed back in beside her.

  The rest of the journey to her home was in silence. William seemed content, and Jayne could not think of a single word to say that would not lead her to having to ask God to forgive her.

  Jayne scrambled to get off the buggy as soon as it stopped, but William was quicker and helped her down. He held onto her hand as he murmured, “You know you cannot save the world, Jayne, but you could enjoy it more with me.”

  “W-what did you say?” Shocked, she tried to free her hand. “Have you forgotten I am a married woman?”

  “Get away from her.” Jeremiah was suddenly there, standing in the doorway, his hands clenched.

  “So the hero has arrived!” William mocked with a sneer. “I really don’t think you are in any position to order me to do anything, Reverend.”

  “That is my wife, sir.” Jeremiah’s eyes flared as he began to walk toward them. “I believe I have every right.”

  “Really?” William continued to sneer, but he released his hold on Jayne and climbed back up onto the buggy. “Maybe Jayne has other thoughts about your rights.”

  “You have no right to say such things!” Jayne blurted out as anger filled her. “I love my husband and no one else. He alone is in the position to stand up for me.”

  “So you say now, my dear,” William scoffed as he rode off.

  “Jeremiah!” Jayne turned anguished eyes toward her husband. “I do not know what made William imply such things! I . . .”

  “We will talk later. The children are clamoring for you, and Amanda has made a special homecoming meal.”

  “But . . .”

  “Jayne! I am so happy you are home!” Her mother stood at the door, wiping her hands nervously on her apron as she watched the buggy go down the path. ”Was that William? How nice of him to drive you home in the rain. We should have invited him to join us.”

  “I do not believe he would have been able to stay.” Jayne snorted. “He has more people to annoy.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Jayne.” Jeremiah shook his head and reached for her hand. “I have yet to greet you properly.”

  “ Jeremiah!” Jayne looked up at him, not caring that he would be able to see the love in her eyes. “Thank God you have come back to me.”

  “I missed you.” His words were a soft breath as he lowered his head, his eyes darkening as he drew her close. Disappointingly, his lips only brushed hers in a brief touch, leaving her wanting so much more.

  “I am sorry for my delayed return. I needed to escort some young men home from the Southern prisons.”

  “You are home now.” Jayne reached up to touch his face, but Jeremiah released her and turned toward his mother in law.

  “I was informed that all my letters have been delivered today. Ironically, they arrived on the same barge I traveled on.”

  Just then the children burst through the door, shouting and hugging Jeramiah and Jayne, and all chance of an adult conversation ceased until much later.

  As the children settled down for the night, Jayne knew there were still many questions that needed answering about this day and about their future. Jeremiah’s earlier words burned in her heart, but she feared she’d only imagined them. And what he thought of William’s innuendos she could not imagine.

  The sight of David Moses sleeping curled up in a dozing Hope’s embrace brought tears to Jayne’s eyes, and her lips trembled as she breathed kisses on their cheeks before placing a blanket over them. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Jayne smiled up at Jeremiah.

  “Oh, how I love them,” she murmured . “To think God has been so kind to me. I don’t know what I would do if I lost them.”

  “Thank God for His mercy that they are yours for now.” Jeremiah sighed the words as he led her to their room and drew Jayne into his arms. Jayne stared up into his eyes and saw a look of yearning before he lowered his gaze.

  “For now?” Jayne whispered. “What do you mean? Are you telling me . . .?”

  “That our children belong to God, and I feel we are blessed that He has lent them to us.” Jeremiah took a deep breath before blurting out, “I love you, Jayne van Hoyton Bronson. I can no longer keep it a secret. God has blessed me with bringing you and your generous heart into my life. Your antics when we first met grabbed my attention, but Jim later explained the secrets you were keeping. I realized then just how loyal and loving you are.”

  “Even after all of my bad behavior?”

  “When I held the ragamuffin you turned yourself into that night at the church, I knew I was in love with you.” Jeremiah cupped her face with his two hands. “I asked your father if I could court you that very Sunday after dinner. He asked me if I was serious. I replied I was very serious.”

  “But you said nothing!”

  “You seemed intent on breaking my heart by spending Sunday afternoons walking with William.” His voice grew gruff with emotion. “I watched you laugh and joke with him, but toward
me, you seemed to put up a barrier. As time passed, I kept waiting for some sort of announcement of a wedding, but nothing happened. I must admit I was ready to do almost anything to get you away from him but could not imagine how.

  “Your love for these two children has always been apparent. Each time I saw you with Hope and David Moses, I found myself wanting to also be a recipient of that love from you. Jayne, do you think you have enough room in your heart to include me?” He bent his head and let his lips brush against hers. “I know I do not deserve what I’m asking for, but please, will you stay my wife?”

  Jayne gasped with joy. “You want to stay married to me?”

  “Of course I do!” Jeremiah replied with mock severity. “I do not want anyone to wonder who our children’s parents are!”

  “Our-our children?” Jayne stuttered before words failed her. For a moment, she was speechless “I . . .”“I would understand if you would prefer to have our marriage annulled.” He took a step back and began to release her. His expression changed, and the hope faded from his eyes. “I had no right to expect—”

  “You really love me?” Jayne threw her arms around his neck, and she pressed her lips against his. “You really want me?”

  “How could I not? You are a woman of passion, determination, and integrity. Even wanting to masquerade as a boy to go to war showed your love of others. Taking on the responsibility and your gentle care of David Moses made me fall even deeper in love with you. Your compassion and commitment to helping others, including the acceptance of my daughter into your life . . .”

  “That wasn’t so hard to do, Jeremiah. She is a part of you.”

  “Both of our fathers dying and the foreclosure on your homestead was when I knew I could not be the gentleman I was trying to be and wait for some sign of affection from you. My love would have to be enough for the two of us. And, of course, I botched up the wedding proposal. To say I was shocked, and very hopeful, when you said yes would be an understatement.”

  “If you had only said something to me,” Jayne murmured, “you were all business that day.”

  “As God as my witness,” Jeremiah whispered as he kissed her, “I thought you . . . I thought everyone could tell how I felt about you! William definitely did.”

  “About William today, I . . .”

  “Jayne, I have no doubt he means nothing to you by the fact you are in my arms wearing my ring.” Jeremiah smiled down at her. “I was almost sure you knew how I felt when on the day I proposed I told you that I do not want anyone but you. My love for you is deeper than anything other than my love for God.”

  For several moments, they let the joy of their mutual love flood over them. When Jeremiah finally took a moment from kissing her, he frowned as he looked down at her. “Do you think you can stand to be a preacher’s wife?”

  “Oh yes, it would be an honor,” she breathlessly answered between kisses as his arms tightened around her. “I believe God has been preparing me for that position with all the work we have done together already. I can only imagine what God has for us to do next.”

  Jayne pressed her lips to his for a moment before she blurted, “I have a confession to make.”

  “What?” Jeremiah didn’t seem too interested in anything other than her in his arms.

  “I said yes for very selfish reasons to your first proposal.”

  “I understand you were concerned for your mother and David Moses.” Jeremiah nodded. “I did not . . . do not care if that was your reason for agreeing. I just wanted you as my wife. I wanted the world to know that we were one. I did not want you with any other man or anyone else being Hope’s mother. And my prayer was that, God willing, when I returned from the war, I could court you. I prayed for the chance to find the secret way to your heart. That God finally ended the war soon after I enlisted was a blessing in so many ways.”

  “I did not marry you, dear Jeremiah, for my mother or David Moses,” Jayne murmured. “I married you because I could not picture spending my life with anyone other than you. I have loved you with my whole heart for a very long time. I just doubted you could ever care for me that way.”

  “Jayne, you will never have to doubt my love for you.” Jeremiah smiled as he lowered his head once again. “Not ever. I promise I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

  Jayne lifted her face to receive his kiss of promise. Thank You Lord for answered prayers.

  Camille Regholec, a pastor for 12 years, has had several inspirational articles printed in various magazines as well as three previously published books, a historical fiction, Look on the Heart (2010); a memoir, Relish the Garnishes (2011); a children’s picture book, The Elephant that Forgot to Remember (2012); as well as a true story, Earned Faith, in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Messages from Heaven and other Miracles (2019). She is married to Gerold and has four children, ten grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren