Out of Silence

by Ruby Monroe

  Chapter 9

  1956 Brings New Beginnings

  The happy three-months-pregnant couple got married on Friday, January 13, at city hall. Jason and his best man, Eddy, wore similar outfits: black slacks and open-neck white dress shirts. Debbie in her new mint-green frock happily served as maid of honour. Ruby wore a fairly plain knee-length periwinkle blue dress with a slightly gathered skirt to hide the bump that seemed to grow larger daily. She carried a small bouquet of daisies held together with a white ribbon tied in a bow.

  They blushed as they nervously repeated their vows. The rings that Jason had bought were exchanged. The Justice of the Peace proclaimed, without prejudice toward this very young expectant couple, “You are now husband and wife.” He looked at the spectators and the other couples waiting to tie the knot and said, “Let me introduce you to Jason and Ruby Monroe.” Then he looked directly at Jason and said, “You may now kiss the bride.”

  Ruby liked the sound of that. They kissed and hugged. Ruby beamed with pleasure. She was so very happy.

  Ruby’s now very pregnant older sister Martha invited family and close friends to a reception to celebrate Jason and Ruby’s marriage. The festivities took place downstairs in the recreation room, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. Many practical gifts were presented to the newlyweds, who were in need of absolutely everything to set up their first home and start their new life together.

  Music flooded the basement recreation room and flowed out of the open doors and windows, meeting the January chill. Charlie, Martha’s husband, was somewhat of a chef. Actually, he had been a cook for the army when he served in Germany. He still knew how to prepare good food for a crowd. Everyone liked Charlie—especially his broad smile and the fact that he was always ready with a joke or a wisecrack. He wasn’t intimidating to anyone at 5 feet 7 inches and 180 pounds. His daughters admitted to loving their dad and his antics. He was always ready with hugs and kisses for them.

  The partygoers enjoyed the fare and drinks. The dancing continued into the early morning. Ruby and Jason happily accepted everyone’s best wishes and celebrated with the guests until the last person left.

  There was very little spare money, so they spent their wedding night in her third-floor attic bedroom. They were happy and exhausted.

  Jason gently kissed Ruby and then smiled a very mischievous, knowing grin. Caressing her growing bump and then her enlarged breasts, he whispered in her ear, “Let’s make love and consummate our new status as Mr. and Mrs. Jason Monroe.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” Ruby agreed. “I thought you would never ask.”

  “I love you so much, Ruby. I can’t ever remember feeling like this about anyone ever before,” he said as he pulled the covers back so he could gaze at her voluptuous pregnant body.

  Neither one wanted foreplay. Both were so horny after all of the day’s excitement, plus the dancing and cuddling at their party.

  “Babe, you’ve got the best body,” said Jason. “I want to make love to you over and over again. Sometimes when I’m driving home after seeing you, I ejaculate. I can’t help it. I’m addicted to you.” He was getting ready to come. She could always tell because he made so much noise. She wondered if the noises, groaning and talking dirty was for him or if he was trying to make her horny too. If so, he wasn’t succeeding.

  Chapter 10

  New Adventure: March 1956

  Ruby and Jason checked the classified ads every day for flats they could afford. There were several small affordable accommodations they visited, but these were either no bigger than a closet or a cockroach haven. Every day they were more disappointed, and they started to think they would need to stay longer in Ruby’s bedroom up in the attic.

  Ruby felt their marriage couldn’t survive too much longer in their current environment. There was very little privacy, because Rob, her innocent slightly older brother, had the bedroom right across the hall from their room. Ruby’s mom and sweet Marianne, her youngest sister, both slept in their bedrooms on the floor below.

  “Jason, I’m beginning to think we’ll be here for our whole married life.”

  “Have faith, baby. We have time. No one wants us to have our own place more than me.”

  Just when they were about to give up the hunt, totally frustrated, they found a cute cozy fully furnished second-floor rental in a well-kept older house located in the Upper Beach area. It was in a great hippie neighbourhood not far from the lake—a three-minute walk to public transportation and about a fifteen-minute walk to her family home. Most importantly, the price was right. It was perfect.

  Their new apartment was, in reality, just a very large bright sunny room with a small bay window facing the busy street below. The single room was set up to accommodate cooking, eating, and TV-watching or visiting. There was a windowless smaller room with a lumpy mattress on a double bed that took up almost the whole space. There was an unrelated dresser with chipped paint and one very small closet. They shared the compact bathroom with the couple from the third floor.

  But who cared? They were in love, married and having a baby. Life was wonderful—a fairy tale for sure. Ruby was all grown up now, an adult. Soon she’d be a mother.

  Jason searched the job ads and attended several interviews the first week they were at their new abode. “Jason, what are we going to do if you can’t find a job?” asked Ruby. “I won’t be able to work at the telephone company too much longer, being pregnant and all.”

  A few days later, he rushed home and boasted, “I have a job at the largest public utility company around here, Shore Gas. You know how much I like working with numbers. Well, I’m going to be a junior clerk in their accounting department. To think that I was apprenticing to be an electrician! This job is so much better. I’m so excited. I would never have dreamed I would qualify.” He was grinning from ear to ear and bursting with pride.

  “That’s wonderful!” said Ruby. “Congratulations, Jason. See, everything is going to work out for us. I’m so happy.”

  “Best of all,” he added, “I will make enough money to pay all of our expenses, even when you go on maternity leave.” He radiated happiness. There was a positive change in his mood and a bounce in his step.

  Fortunately, back when she had realized she was pregnant, Ruby had been able to get re-employed at the telephone company as an operator. She had worked there the previous summer, so they were happy to take her back. She was already trained for the position. Life was perfect: they had good jobs, a place to live and a baby on the way. They hugged, kissed and celebrated by making love several times.

  Now they were really hungry. Jason, protected from the blustery cold weather in his fur-trimmed hooded winter coat, hat and gloves, ran to the pizza joint around the corner on Queen Street and ordered their favourite pepperoni and cheese pizza. He knew by now that Ruby didn’t have much experience cooking.

  Martha, Ruby’s older sister, was pregnant and expecting in March, a month away. She telephoned Ruby and proposed, “Our second-floor flat is available. Would you and Jason like to rent it? The flat is furnished; all you will need are linens, bedding and towels. We’ll help you with those items until you guys can buy your own. We want to make sure the rent is very affordable for you.”

  Ruby knew that Martha was worried about her little sister going through her pregnancy all alone at such a young age. Ruby had been told by friends and relatives that they were concerned about the two of them, as she and Jason had no experience with married life, never mind caring for a baby.

  Jason and Ruby talked the proposal over for all of five minutes. Ruby immediately called Martha back and said, “We would love to accept your generous offer, Martha. We also have good news. Jason got a good job, and he’s starting tomorrow.”

  Ruby could hear the smile in Martha’s voice as she said, “That is good to hear. I think my little sister is going to be just fine.”

  Jaso
n and Ruby had been renting on a monthly basis, so they gave their notice and moved at the end of the month.

  Jason was excited because he really liked Martha’s husband, Charlie. They joked and laughed at each other’s silly jokes and antics. Their relationship flourished.

  The newlyweds spent most of their time on the first level of the house with Martha, Charlie, and their two daughters, plus Martha’s newly arrived infant, Julie. It was fun for everyone. Due to their age difference, Martha and Ruby had developed somewhat of a mother-daughter relationship, though not entirely.

  Charlie and Jason frequently sat on the front porch in their favourite rocking chairs drinking beer from bottles and discussing the world at large, their favourite sports teams and the passing traffic on their busy street.

  Ruby wanted to learn to cook. She practiced on Jason and her sister’s family. Martha belonged to a food club that sold frozen foods. The order was delivered every two weeks directly to the house. Ruby learned that Martha’s idea of cooking was opening a bag of frozen vegetables, frozen French fries and some sort of meat—frozen, of course. Martha heated everything in the oven on cookie sheets just before putting it on plates and then placing the plates on the table. The food was dry and unappetizing.

  Jason joked, “Now I know why they use so much ketchup.”

  Ruby knew that Jason, with his Italian upbringing, did not appreciate this bland processed frozen food. Ruby was encouraged to cook more creatively.

  Jason suggested, “Ruby, I think you should take some cooking classes. This way you can learn to prepare more appetizing food, just like my mom cooks.”

  “I agree, and I will sign up for cooking classes after the baby is born. I’m sure I’ll have more time once this large lump on my belly becomes a real baby.”

  Money was tight for both families, so they spent much of their socializing time playing board games and cards. These were some of the best days in Ruby’s memory of her younger years.

  One day, Martha asked Ruby, “Would you like to learn how to bathe a baby?”

  “Yes,” Ruby replied. “I would really like that.”

  “Watch me. I’ll show you how, and then you can wash Julie and I’ll supervise.” Ruby also gave the infant her bottle for practice.

  Now with her much larger belly lump, she was delighted and scared, because the birth seemed more real. Ruby shared, “Martha, I can’t wait until my baby is born. I am going to love being a mom so much. I know I’ll be a good mother.”

  This was also her promise to her unborn baby as she rubbed her belly in response to the movement that felt like butterflies fluttering around within her tummy.

  Everything was working out just fine. Ruby and Jason went out for walks each night; they held hands and talked about the events and people in their day. This was Ruby’s prenatal exercise and their special time together.

  It was at about this time that there appeared to be a tiny crack in their perfect union. The closer she got to the scheduled delivery date, the less interest she had in sex. Her once slim body now had an ever-growing bulge. She waddled like a duck. She felt fat, awkward and unattractive. It became very difficult to tie her shoelaces, pull on slacks, or do anything that required her to bend over. In fact, her feet seemed to have disappeared.

  During her next appointment with her doctor, she broached the subject of having sex so near to her delivery date.

  He suggested, “Ruby your lack of interest in sex is just hormones. You have nothing at all to worry about. Everything will go back to normal once the baby’s born. Aside from how awkward you are feeling, you could avoid getting an infection and possible premature birth if you refrained from sexual penetration during this last trimester.”

  Ruby was okay with the doctor’s suggestion because she was concerned that intercourse could hurt the baby. Jason, however, did not appreciate being cut off from sex—not one little bit. He would go for hours and sometimes days without speaking to Ruby. She had a difficult enough time dealing with her own wacky hormones and mood swings. She just didn’t know how to explain to Jason how she was feeling with her physical and mental changes. His tantrums were complicating an already difficult time for her.

  It was during one of these withdrawn moods of his that he lashed out at her and slapped her right across her face. She was shocked, hurt and surprised. Ruby cried like a baby, and through sobs, she managed to ask, “Why did you do that?”

  She didn’t know it at the time, but that step over the line by Jason was a major breaking point in their relationship. She had no idea that things were about to get worse—a lot worse.

  Of course, he apologized profusely, declared his love and promised he would never hit her again. It was a promise she would hear many more times. She learned quite soon that his apologies were like a soap bubble: shivering and empty.

  Chapter 11

  Arrival of a Bundle of Joy

  It was a beautiful, sunny July morning. A happy day. Ruby was looking forward to sitting outside and maybe having a BBQ with Jason and her sister’s family.

  She woke up very early with the strongest urge to urinate. Still half asleep, she walked into the bathroom. To her surprise, she felt a very thick fluid run down the inside of her thighs. In the bathroom, she investigated. There was washed-out red-coloured fluid mixed into the clearer thick liquid. She remembered this was a topic discussed at her prenatal classes and came to the conclusion that it might be time to go to the hospital.

  Now wide awake, she felt the frequent cramps in her lower pelvic area. Martha had done a good job of explaining to Ruby what would happen and when it was time to go to the hospital. Ruby put on a sanitary napkin to avoid making a mess of Martha’s hardwood floors and then hurried back to their bedroom. Shaking Jason, she announced, “Jason, get up … Jason, please wake up. I think we need to go to the hospital. I’m pretty sure my water just broke. Our baby is coming!”

  “What did you say?”

  “Get dressed! We are going to be parents today.”

  Jason jumped out of bed, dressed and then rushed around frantically and erratically. He was totally disorganized. Fortunately, at Martha’s insistence, Ruby had packed a hospital bag. She was ready.

  Ruby knocked on Martha and Charlie’s bedroom door and told them that she and Jason were on their way to the hospital. She apologized for the mess on the bathroom floor. Ruby said she was afraid to bend down to clean it up because she was in labour and the pains were already four minutes apart.

  Martha whispered, “I’ll clean it up. Just get to the hospital. I don’t want you giving birth in the car.”

  “Thanks, Martha. I’m scared. Is that normal?”

  “Yes. Now get going. We’ll talk later.” Martha tried to minimize details about giving birth. After three children, she was all too familiar with the process.

  They drove the short distance to the hospital, and the attendant took Ruby in a wheelchair to the labour area on the third floor. Fearfully, Ruby settled in for the birthing process. Ruby at 16 was very timid and frightened by the screaming coming from some of the cubicles. It sounded like the women were being tortured. She asked the nurse, “Why are those ladies in such pain? Will my pains be that bad?”

  “No. Everyone reacts to pain differently. You’re doing fine. Don’t worry, sweetie,” said Bev, the birthing nurse assigned to her.

  She asked another nurse, “Are they dying? They’re really scaring me.”

  Sharon, a tall, efficient and caring nurse, said, “You don’t need to worry. Your body’s young, and it’s much easier for a younger person because your bones are more pliable. Believe me, it really is easier for someone with a young body to give birth.” It was true. Ruby never screamed once. She suffered through her pain in silence.

  She was administered anaesthetic when it was time to deliver. Thank goodness she was really groggy through the actual birth. Ruby was happy that the lab
our pains were gone and replaced by a crying baby.

  “Ruby, congratulations!” Doctor Martin announced with the enthusiasm of a young intern. “You have a beautiful, healthy and very loud baby boy—six pounds and five ounces. He’s perfect: ten fingers and ten toes.”

  Jason had gone home to catch up on his sleep. Doctor Martin telephoned him with the good news. Jason was so excited about his new parental status that he ran out of the house in his stocking feet. A neighbour who Jason had announced his new fatherhood status to mentioned that he might want to go back into the house and put on his shoes.

  Ruby and Jason chose to name their scrawny, red, wrinkled, wailing baby Matthew John Monroe. It was a name fit for a future executive, statesman or a president. They nicknamed him Matt.

  The nurses in the maternity ward had dubbed Ruby the “child mother.” She was overwhelmed with her new motherhood. At the tender age of 16, she certainly had a lot to learn. Absolutely everything was new to her. Breastfeeding her new infant was not as easy or natural as she thought it would be. With perseverance, she did master this new skill. Martha had not breastfed any of her babies, so there had been no instructions in advance.

  Jason did all the silly things new fathers do, like buying the baby boy toys that he would not be able to use for about three years—well, at least until after he learned to walk. Ruby smiled. This was the man she loved.

  It was a huge adjustment for them to create a family atmosphere. They had only known each other for eleven months in total. Some people’s engagements lasted longer than that. They met, courted, got pregnant, got married and had a baby all in less than one year. Ruby was still 16 years old.