Out of Silence

by Ruby Monroe

  Martha helped Ruby with baby care information. She also offered advice on child-rearing. Martha and Charlie were now veterans, as parents of three girls. When Martha’s newest baby grew out of her tiny baby things, they were passed along to Matt. Ruby only accepted baby clothes that were in a neutral color. No pink pyjamas or girly blankets for her special son.

  Chapter 12

  The Next Phase: June 1957

  Ruby’s mother loaned the newlyweds money for a down payment so they could purchase a charming little white clapboard bungalow. The floor space wasn’t quite 1,000 square feet. It did have a large backyard for 1-year-old Matt to play in. A swing set, a gift from Jason’s family, took up about one-quarter of the yard.

  Their cute little bungalow was just up the street from Ruby’s mother’s house. Sarah held the mortgage to their new house; this was what made it possible for them to purchase the house. Neither Ruby nor Jason could qualify as single or combined applicants. They definitely would not have been approved for a mortgage at a bank. As it was, they went into debt to purchase furniture, window coverings and appliances—absolutely everything. Ruby wanted to make it feel like a real home.

  Their first family get-together at the new house was for Matt’s first birthday party. Jason was in charge of the BBQ. Hamburgers and hot dogs plus a store-bought chocolate iced and balloon-decorated birthday cake made up the menu. Everyone took photos of the beautiful blonde 1-year-old. This was a happy time—maybe one of the best in her memory of that house.

  Among the people Ruby invited were her in-laws, Angela and Tom Monroe. She really loved them. They were both kind and caring folks, and they always treated her like their own daughter. She felt closer to her mother-in-law than to her own mother. The in-laws had five grown children—two daughters and three sons.

  Jason got his mojo back. They made passionate love more frequently now that they were alone in their own home. Ruby rationalized the change in his behaviour as just needing to be in his own comfortable space with privacy. They partied and visited with friends and relatives. For several years, things were more good than bad.

  Ruby was now 18 and interested in learning more about her body and how to satisfy Jason’s immense sexual appetite. She wanted to know more about the G-spot or the “big O.” She read everything she could find on both subjects.

  One day, Ruby read a pocketbook that was very descriptive about the lovemaking of the hero and heroine. Suddenly, it all clicked for her. She needed to do more moving and tilt up her pelvis during sex. She practiced repositioning her pelvis and tilting it upward just like the book described. This permitted her vagina to be in the right position to accept his penis. When Jason inserted his erect penis into her moist vagina in this new position, his penis entered right on the path of the much desired G-spot.

  Then, during one hot passionate lovemaking session, she experienced the most wonderful mind-blowing satisfying climax. She smiled in the darkness of their bedroom. Silently she congratulated herself. She knew her search for the big O was over. So this was what all the fuss was about. These feelings gave her the most wonderful sensual satisfaction.

  She knew she would really enjoy sex now. Jason would be more attentive for sure. Most importantly, she had finally reached the previously elusive, wonderful orgasm. Ruby was confident that she could experience this amazing sensation each and every time they had sex. She glowed with pleasure and brimmed over with sexuality.

  Ruby felt she could conquer the world. Jason was more than pleased with himself. He took credit for her pleasure during their lovemaking. He wanted to make love every single night. One of their favourite times to make love was after they showered on Saturday and Sunday mornings. She never objected. It made him happy, and she was very happy with her newfound gratification during sex. In fact, she was often the one who initiated sex. Who wouldn’t?

  Ruby boasted to Jason, “I think I’m addicted to sex.”

  She often joked when they finished making love, “You know, I was just checking to make sure the big O is still there, and I’m pleased to report that it is.”

  “That’s my sexy lady,” Jason praised her.

  Ruby’s younger sister Marianne loved and was totally devoted to her nephew Matt. She was three years younger than Ruby, just 15, and a good-looking girl with dark hair and hazel-coloured eyes. She lived at home with their mother on the same street as Ruby, so she frequently dropped in to see Matt, the apple of her eye. Matt and Marianne would play for hours at a time.

  Marianne offered, “I’ll babysit Matt anytime—just let me know. The price will be right, free, so don’t give me any of that crap about not being able to afford a sitter. You guys go out and have fun.”

  This was very generous of Marianne, but they knew her real motivation: she wanted to be around Matt every waking moment.

  They took advantage of Marianne’s big-heartedness. Jason and Ruby developed a more active social life thanks to Marianne. Life was wonderful.

  One day, Ruby telephoned her sister and asked, “Marianne, would you like to look after Matt this Saturday evening?”

  Marianne responded, “I’m sorry, but I’m busy. Maybe I’ll be free another time.”

  This became Marianne’s response each and every time Ruby asked. Ruby wondered, Why the change?

  Several months later, Marianne dropped by one day when she didn’t see Jason’s white Studebaker parked in its usual spot in front of the house. She knew Ruby would be home alone. She finally gathered the courage to tell her sister, “I don’t like saying no to you every time you ask me to look after Matt. It’s just that I’m not comfortable around Jason. The last two times he drove me home, he made a pass at me.”

  “What are you saying? What do you mean?” Ruby questioned.

  “He tried to kiss me and feel my breasts. I’m so sorry, Ruby. I really miss Matt. In fact, sometimes I drop by during the day when I see him out front playing. I still enjoy visiting with him,” she confessed.

  After Marianne left, Ruby—shocked by her sister’s story—sat on the living room couch in a trance. Why would Jason do that? She desperately tried to mentally work through the comments about Jason’s behaviour.

  Recently, Ruby had read an article in a woman’s magazine about people who are addicted to sex—sex in the broadest terms. She wondered if any of this new information could explain Jason’s behaviour. She was certain she must research this topic further.

  She started putting together some other details. Recently, she had become aware of some other odd changes in Jason’s behaviour. He had secrets, she was sure. She became more suspicious of his increased and very late overtime hours.

  Ruby knew she needed answers. She had to talk to Jason. His unfaithfulness hurt a lot. His anger and abusive behaviour was something Ruby needed to deal with. She thought that she must get a handle on what she did to cause him to be so angry. Right or wrong, Ruby believed in her marriage vows. The words her mother said to her when she announced her pregnancy still occupied a place in her brain. Ruby vowed she would make her marriage work. Should the marriage stop working, she must not end up on welfare, as her mother had predicted.

  Ruby practiced for several hours planning how she could have the discussion with Jason about his behaviour with Marianne.

  Ruby tried to tactfully broach the subject with him. “I guess you’ve noticed that Marianne’s not available to look after Matt these days.”

  “No. I haven’t.”

  “Do you have any idea why?”

  “Nope. I don’t have a clue. I guess she’s off getting laid by her boyfriend. Maybe she’s just lost interest in Matt,” he flippantly responded.

  “Funny, she seems to think that you acted inappropriately the last few times that you drove her home.” She tried to not actually accuse Jason of any wrongdoing.

  She didn’t succeed. Ruby was shocked as she watched the scene develop right in front
of her as if she was watching a movie. His wild overreaction to what he interpreted as an accusation was beyond any reasonable expectation. He flew into a violent rage. His bullying behaviour once again appeared out of nowhere. He approached Ruby with his fist in the air, ready to connect with her body while he adamantly denied Marianne’s allegations. “Don’t you ever, ever accuse me of having any interest in your dumb little sister again.”

  He was both verbally and physically abusive. With wide eyes that looked like they would pop out of their sockets and a face beet red like he might explode any minute, he started yelling and screaming at Ruby. He shrieked, “You stupid bitch. Why would you believe that little bitch over me? I’m your husband, for God’s sake. Marianne is a tramp. Get wise to your little sister.”

  “Please, can we just have a calm conversation?”

  “Yes, if you could just stop accusing me instead of asking.”

  “Jason, I’m trying to …”

  “You are such a stupid bitch. Why don’t you just shut up?”

  He then proceeded to push Ruby into the wall with his body. He pressed his hands hard against her chest and forearms. Fear that he would someday do her serious harm and the almost unbearable pain to Ruby’s already bruised body made her wince and pull away.

  When it was over, he yelled over his shoulder, “Get out of my house, you useless piece of shit.” With that, he left the house and slammed the door behind him.

  Ruby was alone—bruised, crying and trying to figure out what had just happened and what she could have done differently.

  Chapter 13

  Tenth Wedding Anniversary,

  January 13 1966

  Rock and roll music from the sixties blasted from the radio and later from the stereo playing vinyl records. Ruby’s favourite singers that she cherished—like the Beatles, Elvis Presley, the Platters and the Crew Cuts—made the work fun. She sang and danced while she cleaned the house and prepared for their special anniversary dinner. She was oozing with both hope and energy today.

  She felt really good about herself, her marriage and her relationship with Jason. Her mood was so much better when Jason was also in a good mood and reasonably pleasant. She didn’t know why, so she decided not to question him, as this could set him off on one of his angry abusive rages. She was happy to believe they were past the bad times.

  She was sure he would like what she had cooked. She’d used his Italian mother’s secret recipe for pasta fagioli al forno. It was always a lot of work, but this Italian-inspired dish of baked pasta with beans had become his favourite meal. The sauce needed to be cooked the whole day at a very low temperature, but it was always worth it. She knew this meal would put him in a great frame of mind and make him happy.

  Ruby wanted everything to be perfect, so she took the time to double-check everything. She critically looked over the table, making sure it was set with a freshly ironed white tablecloth, cloth napkins, good china, wineglasses, salad plates and bread and butter plates—just like he always insisted. She reached down and adjusted a butter knife that had gone askew. Perfect!

  It was important that she review the multiple pieces of cutlery she had set out, making sure they were appropriately placed around the table setting. She leaned over and smiled. A colourful mixed bouquet of fresh flowers was centered between two tall tapered white candles. The presentation of the table suggested a very special dinner. The scent of the flowers caused her to beam, as the perfect picture pleased her. It was her best effort in a very long time.

  Just then, the phone rang. Her heart sank. I hope that isn’t Jason telling me that he has been detained.

  It was Jason. “Happy anniversary, sweetie,” he said. “I’ll be home in about twenty minutes. I’m stuck in traffic. There seems to be a holdup at the bridge over River Street. See you soon.”

  “Hurry home,” she said. “I don’t want our dinner to spoil. Bye for now.”

  Hanging up the phone, Ruby smoothed out her apron and then turned to once again admire her perfectly set table. She smiled and praised herself because she had put a lot of effort into this dinner. She was convinced it was going to be the best anniversary meal. She was happy that her mom was able to keep the children overnight. Who knows what we might get up to? A mischievous smirk appeared on her face, as if she was enjoying the most wonderful orgasm that she was anticipating for herself later that evening.

  Drawing her bath, she poured in her favourite scented bath oil with a wonderful spicy vanilla fragrance. Jason had told her many times how much this oil, in particular, turned him on. She eased herself into the warm water with lots of bubbles. She took the time to enjoy the luxurious sensual feeling of the gentle jets of water from her whirlpool tub. She was relaxed and smelled delicious enough to eat. I hope Jason will be in a sexy mood too.

  She gently towel-dried her now very horny body, dusted it with fragrant vanilla body powder, then lightly misted her body with the same scent of cologne. Not too much now, just enough. This will set the mood.

  She flossed and brushed her teeth. She didn’t want bad breath, because this would turn off Jason. With hair dried and styled and a touch of makeup, she was ready.

  What will I wear? she asked herself as she flipped through her leisure dresses hanging in her closet. Her eyes and hands passed over several lounging types. As soon as her hand touched the silky soft sensual fabric of her red one, she knew instantly that this was it. Quickly, but with special attention to details, she slipped into the floor-length fire-engine-red dress. The skirt was full enough to swirl and slide around her hips. She chose to not wear underwear. She liked the way the fabric swished against her bare skin when she walked. Best of all, it sensually exposed her cleavage. This dress had always been Jason’s favourite.

  Jason opened the front door and hollered, “I’m home! Sure does smell great in here.” With the rustling sound of Ruby’s dress, he looked up the stairs and was taken aback at the image of Ruby descending, a fantasy in scarlet. “Well, well, hello, my sexy lady!” he smiled, revealing his pleasure at the sight.

  Ruby, pleased with the greeting she had hoped for, ran to him, put her arms around his neck and passionately kissed him. “Welcome home, honey. I made your favourite meal—homemade pasta fagioli al forno, salad and garlic bread.”

  “I know! I could smell it before I opened the door. Mmm-mm. Can we eat soon?” he asked. “I’m getting hungry. The aroma is making my taste buds work overtime, just anticipating how great this meal is going to taste.”

  “Sure. It’s all done. You can pour us a glass of wine while I put dinner together,” Ruby said, smiling back at him as she walked toward the kitchen. “I’m the happiest I’ve been in a very long time,” she added with a broad smile while looking over her shoulder toward Jason.

  “I’ll wash up, and then I’ll open the wine,” he softly uttered on his way to the bathroom.

  Walking back into the dining room, he complimented her. “The table looks great, sweetie. I love that you’re using the good china for our special dinner. You really have worked very hard today. This place looks so clean, we could eat off the floor. I realize you also worked all day preparing our meal. Thanks.”

  Jason was praising Ruby. This was not his normal behaviour, but he did seem to be in a particularly good mood. Maybe she was finally pleasing him. Ruby secretly congratulated herself.

  Jason poured two glasses of wine. He put her glass on the kitchen counter so she could sip it while she creatively arranged the dinner on the plates.

  “Jason, please light the candles, and then have a seat. Dinner’s ready,” she softly announced. “I purposely chose your favourite wine, valpolicella, for our anniversary,” she said as she approached the table. “The children are having a sleepover at Mom’s, so we have the house to ourselves—all night.” She grinned in her most flirtatious manner. I hope he got the hint that I’m horny and looking for great sex tonight. Ruby was sure th
e evening was going to be wonderfully romantic.

  She did wonder why was there was no flirting or pats on the bum like usual. Jason seemed preoccupied. It must be just my imagination working overtime. Come on, Ruby, she coached herself, it’s probably nothing. Don’t be reading things into a comment and spoil a pleasant evening, she scolded herself. She did wonder, though.

  She was pleased that they did playfully flirt a little while they slowly drank wine and leisurely ate the prized meal. They chatted about the family and the daily events at Jason’s work.

  When their gourmet meal and Jason’s favourite dessert, crème caramel, were finished, however, he pushed himself away from the table and announced, “I have to go out for a few hours. I won’t be too long.”

  Ruby sat there with shock written all over her face. She asked, “Where are you going? I thought …”

  Jason interrupted her. “Don’t start.” He didn’t even let her finish her sentence. “Just out,” he stated abruptly, with a slight agitation in his voice.

  “But Jason, it’s our anniversary. Can’t you change your plans?” she asked, now showing her disappointment with his change of her plans.

  “Here you go again. Nag, nag, nag,” he spat.

  “When did this appointment come up? You didn’t mention it this morning or when we spoke just before dinner.” She knew she was pushing, but she wanted answers.

  “Look, I told you, I’ll only be a couple of hours. Why can’t you accept what I say and get off my back?” he snapped. He never wanted to defend his actions.

  “Jason, I just don’t understand. I want to, really. But I don’t. Just tell me who is your appointment with? That’s all.” She was getting very suspicious. Those old feelings of jealousy were pushing to the surface.