“I didn’t mean for this to—”
“We were a mistake, Ambrose. I never should’ve kissed you.”
Forget bleeding out. She was crucifying me with every word and there was nothing I could do but swallow the pain and pray she’d let me down sometime before exposure to the elements killed me.
“You don’t mean that,” I said. No, begged.
But she refused to respond.
I sat on that floor for hours, watching her body shift with each breath. If not for the tension to her shoulders, I would’ve thought she really had gone to sleep. But she was stiff as a board and unfailingly aware of my presence.
She just didn’t care.
I got up and let myself out sometime before dawn so that she’d hopefully get some semblance of sleep.
When I made it back to the house, the other Tarots were in the living room, waiting for me once again.
A single look at my face told them everything, and though I wanted to do nothing other than seal myself in my room, turn on a movie, and tune out the oblivion echoing in my ears until I could figure out how I was going to get her back, I knew I owed them an explanation.
So that’s what I did.
I sat down and told them everything from the very beginning.
They understood to a degree I’d never expected.
They told me that my choices were stupid but understandable.
And when I caught them up to date on where things stood with Kaylee—including her mysterious sentiments before I left—we spent the rest of the night doing something we hadn’t done nearly enough of.
We put our heads together as a unit, trying to determine what threat we’d be facing next and how we’d deal with it when that time arrived.
But Emily was never far from my mind.
Neither was the sentiment I would carry to my grave if need be.
I’m not letting you go, cupcake girl. Not even if it kills me.
39
Emily
A knock came at the door much too early the next morning. The alcohol was out of my system, and without the liquid courage it provided, I didn’t have the strength to pretend I didn’t care about the boy who broke my heart. And I damn sure didn’t have the strength to face him on the hour or so of sleep I’d gotten once he finally gave up and left.
It was stupid how disappointed I’d been when I heard the door close behind him.
And it was stupid how hopeful I was when the knock came again.
So, I did what any mature person would do in my place while they were nursing an injured organ and consequently mad at the world for existing and being so damn bright while I wanted to curl in bed like a sad mess for the next seventy-two hours at least.
I raised my voice and screamed, “Fuck off and die!”
See? I was the picture of level-headed maturity. Someone needed to put me in the dictionary, or maybe Guinness. I’d take either or, to be honest.
“That’s not a nice way to greet somebody who drove several hours to get here,” said a voice I knew like the back of my hand.
I threw the covers off my legs and sat up in bed, turning to the door at the same time it opened.
Danika came charging in like a wrecking ball of glowing, brown skin, and crashed into me when she lunged onto the bed with about as much impact. I didn’t care. Having the wind knocked out of me before being crushed in a tight hug was exactly what I needed.
Through the shock, I hugged her back and lifted my gaze over her shoulder to see Carter stepping into the room in a more laid-back manner, ink-stained arms spilling from his sleeveless tee.
“You two,” I said on a shallow exhale. “How... When?”
“You’re welcome.”
My eyes strayed to the door frame as Renata filled it with a smirk on her face.
“I may have gone through your phone once upon a time,” she said, shrugging when my mouth fell open. “You were new, and I didn’t trust you. Oh, and your password sucks.”
“That’s not—”
She waved a hand, cutting me off. “Moving on. I surprised myself when I wound up liking you, Little Brennan, but I don’t do the whole touchy-feely cry on each other’s shoulders bullshit. It’s bad for the skin. So, I called this one instead.” She pointed to Danika and swung her gaze to Carter. “I guess he came as a package deal or something.”
“You can say that, doll face.” Carter flashed a slow smile that had surely seen more dropped panties than a changing room.
Renata scoffed, looking wholly unimpressed.
Danika stopped hugging me long enough to punch him in the arm.
“Habit,” he said on a sheepish grin, rubbing at his arm. He told Renata, “Thanks for calling, but you still haven’t told me whose ass I need to kick.” His gaze swung to me. “What about it, Sweet Tooth?”
I grinned through the steady ache in my chest. “It means a lot to have y’all here, but you do not want to go there. Trust me on that.”
“I ain’t worried about some trust fund brat.” He popped his knuckles. “He won’t even know what happened after I get my hands on him.”
“Since you’re clearly missing the point”—I offered a razor-sharp smile—”let me clarify. There are four of them and only one of you. On the off chance you got him alone, your odds aren’t as good as you may think.”
His eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I can take him?”
Oh my God, why won’t he drop this?
“It doesn’t matter,” I snapped, vaguely aware of Danika drawing back to look at me. “If you hurt him then I will hurt you. Capeesh?”
Renata made a gagging sound. “Annnnnd there’s the emotion. Time for me to make myself scarce. Toodles!”
She ran before I could thank her for letting my friends know what was going on. As much as Carter was annoying me at that moment, I couldn’t claim that I didn’t feel immensely better with both of them present. These two had gotten me through some rough years. If anyone could help me get through this, it’d be them.
Danika rubbed my back. “I hate to point out the obvious, but that sounded awfully like you were defending the guy who made you cry. And I’m pretty sure the only time I’ve ever seen you cry was after that incident with Dylan Oliver. And I’m pretty sure that was more from the pain than the emotional distress.”
“What she said.” Carter came closer, plopping down on the end of the bed. “I thought we were gonna get to crack some skulls, but you don’t sound over this guy.”
“It hasn’t been twenty-four hours,” I complained. “Give me some time. I’ll work up a hate for him like he’s never seen before.”
“That doesn’t sound healthy,” Danika said.
I blew a raspberry. “Healthy is for smoothies and salads. Hearts are on the line here, D. I’m ready to wage war, scream at the top of my lungs, and generally make him regret he ever met me.”
My phone buzzed on the bedside table, drawing my eye.
Is it him?
If so, I wonder what he has to say now?
Should I bother to answer?
Fingers snapped in front of my face. I turned to find Danika watching me with her brows raised.
She said, “You’re saying the right things, but your expression is giving you away.”
“Or maybe it’s just the drool on the side of your chin,” Carter added.
“Say what?”
I’d already lifted my shirt and wiped at the lower half of my face before he broke out in laughter. When Danika giggled right along with him, I let my shirt fall, scowling at them. “That’s not funny. How was I supposed to know? I just woke up.”
Danika eyeballed my rumpled form. “Obviously. Nothing like bedhead and laziness to make you feel worse. Get your butt up and hop in the shower, girl. Then you’re taking us out. You need to be distracted.”
My phone buzzed again, and she swiped it before I could.
“That includes no answering texts from guys who aren’t good for you.”
But he is goo
d for me. Or at least he was.
I didn’t say that though, because she was right. They had their own lives to get back to, and I was going to have to adjust to what mine would be like without Ambrose in it for the next three years, or however long it took me to graduate and put this place—and him—far behind me.
Somehow, I’d have to learn how to forget him. Better to do it while I had help than after.
It was already going to be close to impossible in the first place.
Ambrose LaCroix had gotten under my skin when he was nothing more than a brooding boy on a pier.
Before he’d ever registered to my senses like a lightning storm I wanted to dance beneath.
Before he’d ever spared me from the vitriol of my mom or carried me when I was being stubborn.
Before he’d ever branded my soul with a kiss I could still feel just by closing my eyes.
There was no world in which I’d be able to forget him, and even as I got to my feet and headed toward the shower, I wondered how pointless it was going to be to try.
Along with how I was going to survive the next time I saw him.
The next time those dark eyes sucked me in.
The next time his arms spread for someone that wasn’t me.
Tears spilled down my face, washed away by the spray of scalding water as I went through the motions. And if Danika or Carter could see the gaping hole in my chest where my heart was supposed to be when I stepped from the bathroom dressed and ready, they were kind enough to not rub salt in the wound.
But she wrapped herself around me a little tighter than usual.
He offered up a smile without a hint of suggestion.
And I still had to wipe at my eyes once more before we left.
“I hate to admit it,” I said after guzzling down the last of my soda—obnoxious noise and all. “But you two make a pretty cute couple.”
Danika paused with her slice of pizza halfway to her mouth. We were at the same pizzeria I’d been to with Ambrose and Chrom when they recovered the watch from the two Thornwood boys. I didn’t trust fate for shit at the moment, and I figured this would be the least likely place for me to run into any of the Tarots without fully crossing over into opposing territory.
Playing this smart was imperative, and I had a gut feeling that if I got anywhere near the rival school that someone would sound the red alert and I’d find myself ankle deep in Tarots before the day was out. My warnings to Carter aside, I couldn’t imagine them getting along for more than a few minutes, if that.
Ambrose had broken the legs of a guy I’d kissed once upon a time, albeit not as willingly. There wasn’t any bad blood between Carter and I, but that didn’t mean I should chance things either.
Danika took a bite, chewed, and swallowed while staring at me. “Thanks, I think?”
“Okay, I can see how that didn’t sound like a compliment, but I swear it was supposed to be!”
“It was close,” Carter said, leaning over to kiss the side of my best friend’s head.
“See!” I wagged my finger between them. “He’s never done anything like that before, and I don’t think I’ve seen him check out another girl since y’all got here.” I locked eyes with Danika and wagged my brows. “Tell me your secret. You’ve obviously got something very persuasive going on. Is it the yoga classes?”
“Could be,” Carter rumbled, staring down at her. “She’s flexible as hell. She can do this thing with her—”
“Nope!” Danika threw a napkin at his face. “We’re moving on. You”—she nodded at me—”are doing a great job of avoiding the subject, but I see right through it.”
“Avoidance is the name of the game,” I said, unable to meet her eyes.
My focus wandered to a tv in the corner of the room instead. As luck would have it, Chrom was being interviewed by a girl with stars in her eyes about his upcoming football game. And inevitably, the sight of him sent my thoughts careening in the direction I didn’t want them to go.
Ambrose.
“Since when?”
I blinked, looking at Danika. “Huh?”
“When did you become a coward?”
Her truth dart punched me in the sternum, and I tilted my head to cover my wince, voice dropping. “Excuse you?”
“Callin’ it like I see it,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve never known you to run from your problems, but that’s exactly what you’re doing. You talked that big game earlier about making him regret ever messing with you, and I keep waiting for the scheming to start... But you don’t have any intention of confronting him, do you?”
This was the problem with having best friends. They knew you too well and were all too eager to call you on your bullshit.
“I’m biding my time,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “Is that why you haven’t mentioned him again? Or asked for your phone back?” Danika pulled it out of her purse and showed me the screen. There were several notifications, but the one text from Ambrose stood out above the rest. “If you’re so ready to kick his ass, why not go for it?”
I put my drink down, nails digging into the cheap styrofoam. “Because I don’t trust myself,” I whispered. “Is that what you want to hear? He tried to explain things last night, and copious amounts of alcohol managed to keep me from throwing myself into his arms, but it was a near thing.”
“Why didn’t you?” Carter asked.
I lifted my gaze long enough to narrow my eyes on him. “Have you been listening to me? He lied to me about—”
“About the girl with the scar or whatever.” He waved a hand through the air. “We’ve been filled in on all of that. So what?”
“What do you mean so what?”
He shrugged, laughing at whatever expression I was making.
“So,” Carter started, “if he didn’t actually hurt her, then what’s the big deal? People get injured sometimes, Sweet Tooth. Shit happens. If he didn’t feel like an absolute ass about it, he wouldn’t have tried to hide it this long.”
I slapped the table, ignoring the resulting sting in my fingertips. “But he did hide it! If he’ll lie about that, what else would he lie about?”
Danika reached over, grabbing my hand before I could pull it back. When I tried to disengage, she wouldn’t let me. Her grip was too tight to break without making a scene, and that was the last thing I planned on doing.
“Has he lied to you about anything else?” she asked, and I hated how calm her voice sounded. How reasonable. How I had no choice but to chew on the inside of my cheek and think.
Did Ambrose often have some shady shit going in the background? Yes. But I had to admit, he’d never tried to lie to me about any of it. If anything, he’d seemed willing to let me in on what was happening on those few occasions where it came up.
I didn’t want to think too hard on why I’d been so adamant that he never go into detail regarding the Tarots.
And when it was just the two of us? I couldn’t remember a single lie. Even when one might have served him better than the truth.
Like the day he told me to stay away from him in the classroom when I would’ve let him bend me over that table then and there had he pressed the issue.
“No,” I muttered.
“What was that?”
I could hear Danika’s grin without looking up at her. “He’s not a boy scout by any means, but no, he hasn’t lied to me about anything else either. There, you happy?”
“Kinda,” she chirped. “I’d be happier to hear you admit that you’ve got it bad for the bad boy. Never thought I’d see the day the infamous Emily Brennan fell in love.”
“Right?” Carter laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “All those broken hearts you left behind. I guess they were never in your tax bracket.”
I snapped. “I don’t love him because he’s rich you fucking dick!”
His grin achieved full shit-eating status. “At least you admit it.”
Admit wh—
Oh. I’d said that out l
oud. Good job me.
I pouted. “Y’all baited me into that.”
How dare they be so clever?
They shared a look full of self-satisfaction.
Danika said, “We had to get it out of the way so we could tell you to stop being a goober and make a decision. Either you’re done with him or you’re not, but you can’t be half-in, half-out. That’s just going to be torture for both of you.”
Going to be torture? Try already is.
I needed headphones to cover up the sound of his soft, pained voice trying to tell me what was what last night. He’d sounded so hurt, so down, so...broken.
Because of me? Or because he got caught?
I bit down on my thumbnail. “Hypothetically speaking, if I agreed that I’m not over him and I won’t be anytime soon, what guarantee do I have that mending things wouldn’t be a gigantic mistake?”
Carter yawned. “You don’t have one. There aren’t any guarantees. You know how long we worried about letting you know what was going on between the two of us?”
A slight grin lifted my lips. “It couldn’t have been that long. I’ve only been gone a couple of months.”
Danika blushed. “You’re right, but the panic makes it seem like it was longer. I didn’t know how you’d react, and I was terrified you were going to freak out.”
“Over Carter?”
“Hey! I know I don’t have a seven-figure trust fund, but you don’t have to sound so surprised either.”
I growled at him. It wasn’t as threatening as I hoped it would be, but I had other cards up my sleeve to play.
“Careful there,” I said. “Don’t forget that I know exactly where you keep your guitars. You can keep acting like I’m a gold digger all you want, but it would sure be a shame if something happened to them...”
He leaned across the table. “You wouldn’t dare.”
My smile was wide and real when it came again. “Want to bet on that?”
“Can y’all not?” Danika pushed him back in his seat. “We don’t have time for this. I’ve already gotta drive back because boy-band here didn’t get any sleep, and that means we need to be on the road before dark. Here.” She handed the phone to me. “At least see what he wants so I can know you’ve made a choice before we go. I don’t want to have to come right back up here, but I will if you need help tearing him to shreds.”
Defiant Prince: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance (Black Rose University Book 1) Page 37