Conflicted Love

by Hamford, Kacey

  “I need more jobs, more runs, something, anything. I need more money so I can put him in daycare when I need to.”

  “What about Missy and Lottie? I thought they were helping?” Carla asked as she tickled Cooper, which made him giggle.

  “He doesn’t seem to like Missy, and Lottie…I just caught her naked on my bed doing that skin to skin contact with him.”

  “Don’t babies like skin to skin contact?” Prez asked, looking at his wife.

  “I know they do. But she’s not his mother, she shouldn’t be doing that. I don’t want him getting attached to her.” I continued to pace. “I need help, Prez.”

  “Didn’t Toes say something about you having a woman now?”

  “Yeah, but it’s all new. I can’t dump him on her. Besides, she’s got a business to run.”

  “Ok, I’ll put you forward for more runs but I’m not sure it’s going to help. You’ll still need someone to look after him while you’re on them.”

  Fuck. When did life get so hard?

  I knocked on the front door to Solar and Jasmine’s house and waited for someone to answer. Jasmine pulled the door open and she had Lily on her shoulder.

  “Hey, guys. Come on in.” She smiled. “This is a nice surprise.”

  As soon as we walked in the door, Cooper held his arms out for Jasmine. She laid Lily in her moses basket and took Cooper off of me.

  “Hi, handsome boy. I’ve missed you.” She kissed Cooper on his cheek and he giggled. “You want a drink?” she asked, walking into the kitchen.

  “Yeah. Coffee would be great.” I gazed down at Lily, she looked so peaceful sleeping. It seemed like ages ago that Cooper was that size.

  “You ok?”

  “Yeah.” I sighed as I pulled out a stool at the breakfast bar to sit on.

  “Talk to me,” she demanded in between blowing raspberries on Cooper’s neck.

  “I’m back to square one again with him. I’ve asked Prez for more runs to earn more money so he can go into daycare.”

  “Lottie not working out?” She placed my black coffee in front of me and placed the milk beside it.

  “No.” I then explained what I caught her doing.

  “That’s out of order. He’s not her son. Oh, I can solve all your problems.” She beamed.

  “You can’t look after him and Lily. Solar won’t have that.”

  “What won’t I have?” Solar asked as he strolled into the room with Lily cradled in his arms.

  “Jas looking after Cooper and Lily.” He was about to speak when Jasmine cut him off.

  “I wasn’t talking about me. I’m talking about Eden. She quit her job at the school. Now she is doing private childcare.”

  “Private? I bet that costs a pretty penny.”

  “I’m sure she will give you a discount. Come on, let’s go into the living room. Is he crawling yet?”

  “Yeah, he’s just starting to move himself around. It’s more of a bum shuffle than anything.” Jasmine placed him down on the rug and he immediately shuffled his way over to Nathan’s toy box. He found a toy car and started pushing it around the room. Jasmine settled on the sofa and held her arms out for Lily, positioning her so she could breastfeed her.

  “What else has been happening?” she asked.

  “Not much,” I answered.

  “Apart from Pup here has himself a woman.” Solar laughed sitting on the sofa next to Jasmine. He kissed Lily on the top of her head before he kissed Jasmine on the lips quickly.

  “Oh do you? Who is it? Do I know her?”

  “Her name’s Stef. She’s a bike mechanic and sexy as fuck.”

  “How old is she? Where did you meet her?”

  “She’s twenty-five.”

  “Nice one, man.” Solar laughed. Jasmine shot him a glare but he brushed it off, she knew that he only loved her and wasn’t interested in anyone else.

  “I met her at Nudes…”

  “Wait, the strip club?” She handed Lily over to Solar so he could wind her.

  “Yeah, she was on a hen night. Her best friend is getting married.” I looked over to Cooper to see that he was trying to climb into the toy box. I grabbed him by the waist and he looked up to me as if he didn’t know what had happened. I sat on the floor with him in between my legs and handed him a toy car.

  “That’s really good, Pup. I’m happy for you.” I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket when I felt it vibrate. I read the message and then looked up at Solar. He was looking at his phone too.

  “Church,” we both said together.

  “Oh, do you want to leave him here?” Jasmine offered.

  “Na. Hopefully he’ll fall asleep in the car and then I’ll be able to get Missy to watch him.”

  “You sure?” she said as she climbed to her feet after I did, pulling Cooper up with me.

  “Yeah, thanks though.” I kissed her on her cheek and she kissed Cooper on his head before taking Lily off of Solar. “I’ll see you at the compound,” I said to Solar as I slapped him on his shoulder.

  The drive to the club didn’t take long and I kept the radio on low in hopes that Cooper would drift off to sleep. I could see that he looked tired but every time his head fell forward he woke up; he was fighting it.

  Jono opened up the gate for me and I parked my car by the side of my bike. I found it easier to just keep my bike here now and use it for runs and shit. Once I pulled Cooper out of his seat, my heart sped up as I noticed the red and silver bike parked close to the door. Stef was here.

  I hurried inside and into the bar, she was sitting at the bar, her long brown hair hung in loose waves down her back and she was dressed in some skinny jeans and a hoodie. I pushed my hand down on my cock. I had to be in church in five minutes.

  “Hey,” I spoke as I pushed her hair off her shoulder and kissed her neck. She moaned low in the back of her throat and then cleared it before she spoke.

  “Hi, I hope you don’t mind me turning up here?” she asked as she spun around on her stool so she was facing me.

  “Of course not, but I do have church in five minutes.” I kissed her briefly on the lips before nodding at the church door and she glanced at it over my shoulder. “Come with me. I need to try and get him to have a nap while I’m in there.” I linked our hands together and pulled her along behind me.

  She got herself comfy on my bed, leaning against the headboard and I placed Cooper on my shoulder and paced up and down in front of the bed rubbing his back.

  After about five minutes, I sighed as I glanced at my watch, I needed to be getting into church. I was just going to have to take him with me and hope that Prez didn’t mind.

  “Leave him with me,” Stef said as she climbed to her feet and held out her arms for him.

  “You sure? I mean, he should fall asleep soon.”

  “Of course I don’t mind, Pup. I want to get to know him too.” I passed him over and he immediately laid his head down onto her shoulder.

  “Tyler,” I reminded her as I covered her lips with mine. “I’m hoping I won’t be long. If you need help then…”

  “Don’t you dare mention that club whore’s name to me,” she snapped.

  “I was going to say that Missy is out in the bar.” I pulled on her hips until her bottom half was touching mine. We couldn’t get too close as Cooper was in the way. “I love how possessive of me you’re getting.” I winked at her and she laughed before kissing me once more.

  “You’re going to be late.” She laughed, pushing me away with her hand on my chest. I kissed Cooper on top of his head and he rose it off of Stef’s shoulder. His eyes were sleepy and Stef cuddled him into her as she sat back down on to the bed, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

  “Once he’s asleep, you can lock him in here and go out to the bar if you want. Just take the monitor with you.” I pointed to the white monitor that was on the bedside table.

  “I’m just going to read.” She showed me her phone before she started swiping her thumb over the screen.
r />   “I’ll try to be quick,” I said again.

  “We’ll be fine.” She smiled up at me before I left the room and ran down the hall to Church.

  I pushed the door open and was about to apologise for being late when I noticed that the Prez wasn’t here yet. I sighed in relief as I sat down in my chair on the left hand side of the table.

  “Hey, man, you ok?” Iron asked as he slapped me on the back. I leaned back in my chair and folded my hands over my stomach, smiling.

  “Yeah, all is good.”

  “I saw your woman is here.”

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face.

  “She with Cooper?”

  “Yeah.” I ran my hand down my face. “Shit, man. They look so good together.”

  “I’m happy for you.” He slapped me on the back once more before pulling his phone out of his pocket, he was glaring at it.

  “You ok? How’s Ashlyn?”

  “Ok, I guess.” He rubbed his bearded chin with his fingers. “We’ve been trying for a baby. No success again.” He waved his phone at me so I assumed that was a message from his Old Lady.

  “I’m sorry, man. It’ll happen.”

  “Yeah, I know. It just gets her down. I want to be able to give her a baby so damn much. To extend our family.”

  “Stress won’t help it, man. Maybe she needs a night out with the girls? Away from the clubhouse? A night to let her hair down and have some fun. She’s been through a lot.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. I’ll get something set up. Your girl should go too. It will give her a chance to get to know our Old Ladies.”

  “I’m sure she’ll be up for that,” I answered as the Church door opened and Prez walked in with someone following him. Whoever this was, I had never seen him before.

  Prez slammed down the gavel, not taking a seat in his chair.

  “Brothers, this is Specs, Toes’ younger brother. He’s transferred in from the Cardiff Crusaders. I’m sure you’ll all give him a warm welcome.”

  We all slammed our fists down onto the table and shot him a nod, we’d never make a brother feel not wanted, no matter how new to the club they were.

  “His welcoming party is tonight. Locals too. Have fun, boys. Pup, I need to talk to you.” Prez slammed the gavel down and everyone left the room.

  “Everything ok, Prez?”

  “Yeah, I got a job for you to do.”

  Stef

  Cooper had fallen asleep almost straight away after Pup left the room. I stayed quiet whilst reading a romance novel with Cooper cuddled up on my chest. I had heard before that you shouldn’t let babies sleep on you as it spoils them and then they won’t sleep in their cots, but I didn’t want to let him go. It made me happy that he was content enough with me to fall asleep. I had shuffled down the bed so I was laying down with my head on the pillow. I was engrossed in my book that I only looked up from it when I heard the door open.

  “That was quick,” I said in surprise. I closed the app down on my phone and placed it onto the bed beside me. I looked up at the door when Pup didn’t speak. Pup wasn’t standing there, Lottie was.

  “What are you doing in here? And with him? Give him to me,” she demanded. I wound my arms around Cooper and carefully climbed to my feet.

  “Get the hell out of here,” I snapped. Trying to be quiet.

  “Pup asked me to come and get him. He trusts me with him.” She smirked at me, holding her arms out for Cooper. I was not handing him over. I looked down at him as he stirred in my arms.

  “What the hell are you doing in here?” My eyes shot up to the doorway to see that Pup was standing there, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Lottie. His jaw was clenched tight as he waited for her answer.

  “I was coming to check on him. You know he only settles with me.” I scoffed at her answer, she was delusional. Cooper was happily sleeping in my arms.

  “Get out,” Pup said again as he stepped into the room.

  “Come on, baby. Let’s have some fun like we did yesterday.” She spoke in this high pitched, squeaky voice. Was this her way of trying to turn a man on? Her hand trailed up his chest and he stepped away from her, turning to me.

  “She’s lying, babe. I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you.” I nodded my head. I believed him. I needed to take some action. I laid Cooper down in his cot, praying that he didn’t wake up for a couple of minutes. I grabbed the baby monitor, pushed Lottie out of the doorway and pulled on Pup’s hand to get him to follow me. I waited as he locked his bedroom door.

  “Where are we going?” he asked.

  “Follow me.” I held his hand and we walked down the hallway and into the bar area. It was full of the club brothers, Old Ladies, kids and club bunnies. I glanced over my shoulder to see Lottie leaning against the bar, she was watching us.

  “Claim me,” I told him, waving my hands out to everyone.

  “What?” He looked confused.

  “I know it’s too soon to claim me as your Old Lady, but I really like you Tyler.” I hooked my hand around the back of his neck and pulled his lips to mine.

  “I really like you too.” He smiled against my lips.

  “Then these club whores need to know that you are now off limits, as am I to your brothers.”

  “None of them would dare touch you,” he said through gritted teeth. I ran my hand over his smooth jaw until he relaxed. He turned his head and kissed my palm before bringing his fingers to his lips and whistling. The bar went quiet and everyone’s eyes were on us.

  “It’s official, I am claiming this gorgeous girl right here.” He pulled me into his side and claimed my lips for everyone to see. It wasn’t a gentle kiss, it was a possessive one. One that made me want to climb his body and ride him hard and fast. “Anyone got a problem with that?” he asked after he released my lips.

  “Welcome to the madhouse. I’m Toes.” He kissed me on the cheek.

  “Glad to have you with us. I’m Iron.” He kissed me on the cheek. “This is my Old Lady Ashlyn.” And like that, one by one, everyone welcomed me into their family and reintroduced themselves to me.

  After an hour of chatting, we strolled back to Pup’s room, he unlocked the door and I walked in first to see Cooper sat up in his cot, rubbing his eyes.

  “Oh, he’s awake.” I rushed over to him and pulled him out of there and settled him on my hip.

  “Do you have any idea how hot you look holding my son like that?” Pup asked as he walked up behind me and pushed my hair off my shoulder, leaving my neck bare for him. He trailed his lips up and down.

  “Pup.” I moaned. “I am holding your son. Don’t turn me on now.” He stepped away and I spun around to see him rearranging himself in his jeans.

  “Let’s go out and have something to eat. I gotta go on a run tonight and need to call Eden.”

  “Eden?” I questioned. Jealousy started brewing in my chest as another woman’s name came from his lips.

  “Yeah, she’s a child minder. I need to see if she’ll have Cooper for the night while I take care of club business.”

  “I’ll look after him,” I stated. Why didn’t he ask me?

  “No, I can’t ask you to do that.” He shook his head.

  “Why not?”

  “Umm…”

  “Exactly,” I cut him off when he couldn’t think of an answer. “Tyler, I want to.”

  “You sure?” I nodded my head. “Here or at my place?”

  “Your place. Now feed me. I’m starving.”

  “Alright, I need to take a piss. Can you chuck his hoodie on him?” He pointed to a blue zip up hoodie that was hanging off the side of his cot. I grabbed it and sat on the bed with him, pushing his arms through the sleeves and then doing it up. I blew raspberries on his neck which caused him to giggle. That sound was infectious and I was soon laughing along with him.

  “Come on, you two gigglers.” He plucked Cooper out of my arms and held my hand as we walked through the clubhouse.
The bar was noisy and busy.

  “What’s going on in there?”

  “Oh, there’s a party tonight. Specs, the guy you met earlier? He has just transferred in from another charter so he gets a party.” He shrugged his shoulders as we stepped outside.

  “And you’ve got to work?”

  “Yeah, but I asked Prez for more runs. I need the extra money to pay for a child minder.”

  “But then you’ll miss out on him growing up?” I watched as Pup strapped him into his seat and I climbed into the front and pulled my seatbelt on.

  “I’m only on short runs. I hate that I can’t be there for my club more. They took me in when I was alone, I owe them a lot.”

  I understood that. I grew up around bikers and saw that each club was a tight family unit.

  “Where do you want to eat?” he asked as he started the engine and took off towards the gates.

  “I don’t mind. I eat just about anything.” I shrugged my shoulders. “What will Cooper eat?”

  “He’s not fussy.” I angled my body towards him, was it wrong that watching him drive was turning me on? His muscles flexed as he changed gear and his jaw was strong and clenched as he concentrated on the roads around him.

  I snapped out of my ogling when he pulled the handbrake up and looked at me smiling. I glanced out of the window to see that we had pulled up to a small café.

  “They serve food all day and Coop loves the mac and cheese they serve here.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I leant closer to him and kissed him gently on the lips. I pulled away and laughed as Cooper started making noises. I looked over my shoulder to see that he was watching us.

  “Come on, let’s eat so I can get you settled in at home before I have to leave.”

  We both climbed out of the car and headed inside, I walked towards a table at the back with Cooper in my arms as Pup grabbed him a high chair. Once we were settled, a waitress came over.

  “Hi, what can I get you?” She smiled at Pup and then focused on Cooper. “Oh, isn’t he gorgeous?” She tickled his cheek and Cooper let out a giggle. “Handsome, just like his daddy.” I cleared my throat and gave her a look, telling her to back off.