The Phoenix of Altria

by David M Zahn

  "You dare try to cop a feel on these titties," Eldertits yelled loudly from somewhere.

  I pushed the figure off to the side and crawled out from underneath him. Now that he no longer blocked my vision, I could see a large person-sized hole in the wall straight in front of my bed. Eldertits stood there, her axe out, staring through the hole straight at me. Behind her in the room, Elaria was going blade to blade with another figure in black. What the fuck was going on here?

  "Rondo," I shouted, "get up. The girls are getting attacked by assassins or something."

  "They're not the only ones," Rondo said breathing heavily to my left.

  I looked over, and Rondo lay there, holding up his two daggers, blocking another assassin from plunging a blade straight into his heart.

  Fuck, these guys were good. I didn't even notice that one come in. I spun, finding the one who landed on my bed just as he was getting to his feet. Oh no you don't, I thought as I summoned the Blade of Daybreak and slashed at his chest with it.

  It cut him, but it was shallow. With cat-like reflexes, the assassin reacted as soon as I moved my dagger, managing to avoid a more serious blow. In the process, he fell backward into the bed.

  I leapt forward thinking this was an opening, but it was a mistake. As soon as I reached him, he twisted underneath me and wrapped one of his legs around mine. With a simple turn, he swept me off my feet, and I plunged face first into the mattress. At least it was soft.

  However, the dagger that plunged into my shoulder blade a moment later was anything but soft. As the gasp of pain left my mouth, the dagger simultaneously was ripped from my shoulder. Fuck this guy was quick.

  Vanishing my own dagger, I pushed backward, throwing myself onto the floor just in time to see Tits burst through the opening in the wall. She staggered forward, still drunk, and wielding a gigantic axe. A drunken woman with a large weapon. What could possibly go wrong?

  Swinging it as hard as she could, she smashed it into the bed right where the assassin had been. Her swing was far too slow, allowing him to roll off the bed and out of the way with ease. The blade went straight through the mattress and cracked the frame underneath, causing it to collapse in on itself as she withdrew the blade.

  "Haven't you – hic – ever – hic – heard of – hic – foreplay first? Hic – I like to be – hic – teased a little first – hic – before someone tries to savage me – hic – in the middle of the night," Eldertits said, clearly still struggling.

  Standing, I summoned a fireball in my right hand while I charged my Fist of the Phoenix Flame in my left.

  You are attempting to dual cast with no levels in this skill.

  -20% to spell effectiveness

  -20% accuracy in main hand

  -50% accuracy in offhand

  +15% to spell casting time

  I mentally flicked this notification away as soon as it popped up. I was in the middle of a life or death fight. I didn't have time to read through notifications. As soon as the assassin stood up, I shot my fireball at him and charged after it.

  He dodged to the right, and it narrowly missed him. I expected this; however, I slammed my Fist of the Phoenix Flame straight into where he dodged. Somehow, he managed to change the momentum of his body halfway through his first dodge twisting around my fist and harmlessly rolling off the rest of my body.

  My momentum carried me forward, and I slammed my fist into the side of Rondo's bed where he continued to battle his own assassin. The entire right side of the bed exploded from the force and collapsed. This caused Rondo and his assailant to tumble down towards my feet.

  I aimed a kick, and somewhat to my surprise, hit Rondo's attacker square in the ribs. Surprised, the assassin let out a grunt, and Rondo, seeing his hesitation, jabbed him right in the stomach with a dagger. Unfortunately, this didn't cause him to vanish.

  Turning, I located my original target dancing around a frantically swinging Eldertits. She was doing a ton of damage to everything but the person she fought. The assassin swiftly avoided all of her clumsy blows and poked her over and over with his knife.

  Moving quickly, I began casting cure on her. The five second charge time seemed to take minutes to complete while Tits got stabbed again. Finally, it completed, and with a flash of green light, I cast it on her. Tits didn't seem to notice, but the assassin did. He looked less than pleased.

  In one swift motion, he disengaged from Eldertits and spun towards me. I summoned both of my daggers and braced for the attack. He feigned an attack towards me, drawing the attention of my blades, and then stomped me hard in the shin.

  My leg crumpled, and I fell forward just in time to meet his boot with my face. The kick halted my momentum and sent me flying backward where I hit the half-opened wall, crashing through onto the floor of the girl's room.

  Looking over, I could see Elaria thoroughly getting her ass kicked by the third black-clad figure. Elaria was quick. The assassin quicker. Elaria had little cuts all over her and looked completely exhausted.

  Trying to sit up, my progress was halted by a boot resting atop my chest. I looked up and saw the assassin's eyes staring down at me. I guess this was it then, I was going to die for the third times since I entered this game. He just had to deliver the coup de grâce, and I would be well on my way to the madness again.

  Smiling wickedly, he summoned a small something in his hand. From the ground, I couldn't quite make it out, but I doubted it was anything good. Suddenly, he flicked his hand, and the item shot towards me. I held my breath, waiting for the pain to come, but it never did. Instead, a notification popped up.

  You have been marked. Your icon will appear on the explored map of whoever marked you for as long as you carry the mark. Be warned, removing a mark is no easy feat.

  Well, that couldn't be good, I thought as I felt his boot kick me in the head. I slid a few feet back across the floor as a migraine suddenly assaulted me. Closing my eyes, I tried to stop the world from moving around me.

  Lying there, battling my own head, I heard the sounds of violence all around me. We were going to lose this fight. No doubt in my mind about it. These assassins, or whatever they were, outmatched us on every level. Even great fighters like Elaria and Eldertits were completely overwhelmed. Maybe Rondo took out the one he fought. He actually damaged his opponent.

  I tried to open my eyes but quickly shut them again, because the room immediately swam around me. Looking up at my health bar, which I could still see with my eyes closed, I noticed that I lost over two-thirds of my health and had a new status icon next to it.

  Status: Minor Concussion

  "You have taken a severe blow to the head and are now dealing with the effects of it."

  Duration: 2 days, 23 hours, & 58 minutes

  Effect: You will have a migraine for the duration of this status effect. You will also have light sensitivity, occasional dizziness, and general fatigue for the duration of this effect.

  Well, that's just fantastic. I've really got to start collecting better status effects, because the ones I usually get suck. Maybe this guy will finish me off, and I won't have to deal with this. I could just lose my mind instead. Cheerful thoughts, I know.

  Below me or in front of me, it was hard to tell, I heard the sound of crunching wood and a female grunt. That would probably be Eldertits getting beat down. Don't mind the floor, Tits. It actually gets quite comfortable after a while.

  "Come on, then. Finish it," she growled defiantly.

  The only response that came was the sound of a curt laugh, and then I heard a blow and another grunt from Eldertits. So, he killed her then. Guess he'll be coming back to finish me off.

  Opening my eyes, I fought against the pain that flooded in with the low light in the room, as well as the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm me. If I was going to be killed, I was going to look this fucker in the eyes while he did it.

  Through sheer force of will, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and slid backward until I could rest my back a
gainst one of the beds. Now I could stare defiantly at him as he slit my throat.

  Currently, he was busy helping his comrade dispatch with Rondo. With two of them, it went quickly and without much fuss from Rondo. They broke one of his hands with a loud crack and then threw him into my, now, caved in bed. One of them produced a mark and threw it at the helpless Rondo.

  At the same time, the other one finished off Elaria, throwing her head into the remaining wall between the rooms. He flicked a mark right at her rear end as it was still in the room with us.

  The ranger swore as it hit her and vanished. It had to be from the notification, because I knew from experience there was no pain associated with it.

  "Eldertits and friends of the Tits," a soft voice spoke from the other room. "This was a simple warning. Next time we won't be so friendly. You have twelve hours to leave the territory of Ilthielthiel, or we will kill you. It is now three thirty-four, so we will give you until fifteen thirty-four to leave. If you don't, we'll know. If you ever try to return to Ilthielthiel, we will know. And if you return, we will kill you."

  With that, they opened the door and left our rooms.

  "Tits," Elaria wheezed, trying to remove herself from the wall. "Tits, I fucking hate you."

  She burst from the wall a moment later panting heavily and ripping some of the wood free around her.

  "No, you don't," Eldertits said, sounding both drunk and exhausted. "You're just tired, that's all."

  "Would one of you please help me out of this thing?" Rondo snapped, sounding irritated.

  Pushing myself to my feet, I began to tentatively make myself over to where he was trapped in the collapsed bed. Blessedly, no spell of dizziness came over me while I made my way to him.

  Elaria beat me to it, and reaching down, she pulled our large rogue up and out of the bed.

  Standing there, he looked as tired as the rest of us and said, "Thanks."

  "No problem," Elaria replied, looking a little dazed.

  I began casting cure, seeing that everyone could use a couple of healing spells.

  "Who the fuck were those guys?" Rondo asked as I unleashed my first cure on Elaria.

  She sighed in pleasure and said, "Thank you Ryland. As for those men, I can't be certain, but I'd guess they are members of the Silver Moon clan."

  "The Silver Moon clan?" Rondo asked as I began casting my next spell on Eldertits, who still hadn't moved from her spot on the floor.

  "Yeah," Elaria said. "I've never actually seen them before and can't confirm that they actually exist but almost every elf in Ilthielthiel has heard the rumors about them. They are a group of mercenaries that operate in secret and perform shadier tasks for those with the means to pay."

  I unleashed cure on Eldertits who didn't react to my spell at all. She stared blankly at the space in front of her. Hopefully she doesn't have anything worse than the minor concussion I got.

  "So, this Silver Moon clan was sent here to intimidate us and drive us out of Ilthielthiel by the sound of it," Rondo stated as I began casting cure on him.

  "I'd bet all my gold that they were sent by her daddy," Elaria said, jerking her head towards Tits. "I knew you shouldn't have done that too him."

  Tits didn't say anything in response to this, and I unloaded cure on Rondo who sighed happily.

  "Well, what's done is done," I said as I started casting cure on myself. "We've got to figure out what to do now."

  "I'm too tired to think about that right now," Elaria snapped, clearly aggravated. "I say we sleep until around seven and then decide how to handle this."

  "Ok, so where are we going to sleep then?" I asked, healing myself and casting a second cure spell on Elaria. "These two beds have been destroyed."

  "The two in our room are relatively fine," Elaria said motioning to the girls' room. "Rondo, you're with me, because I'm not sleeping next to her."

  I wanted to tell her I thought she was being unfair and harsh, but I just didn't have the will or strength to argue.

  Instead, I simply said, "Okay," as I finalized the spell on her and began casting another on Rondo.

  Five seconds later, I finalized this spell, and they walked over and crashed into one of the beds. I moved over to where Eldertits was sitting and squatted down in front of her.

  "Hey Tits, can you get up?" I asked, holding out my hand toward her.

  "I'm sorry," she said, ignoring my question and not quite looking at me. "This was all my fault. I almost got us all killed again. I was useless in that fight too. I couldn't hit that fucker to save my life. I shouldn't have drunk so much wine last night."

  "Hey, hey," I said in the most soothing voice I could conjure, "It's alright, shit happens. This is a game remember? It's supposed to throw tough challenges at us, so we can overcome them, and I don't think any of us could do anything against those guys."

  "It's not just a game, though," she responded, her voice cracking and water beginning to trickle out of her eyes. "This is our life now, and I put us in serious danger. I thought I was so clever, and it seemed so funny at the time, and now we're getting kicked out of this city."

  "It was pretty clever and still is pretty funny," I said trying to placate her. "I just don't think Haldir enjoyed it in the same way the rest of us did. Look, we'll figure out what we're going to do in the morning after we all get a few hours of sleep. I guarantee you'll feel better after you get some rest. Come on."

  Finally looking at me, she took my hand and allowed me to help her to her feet. I led her through the opening in the wall to the non-occupied bed where she laid down.

  "I'm going to cast another cure on you so don't be startled," I said, beginning to charge up the spell.

  "Okay," she responded softly, closing her eyes.

  I finished the spell and cast it on her which caused her to briefly smile as the effects of the spell hit her. After that, I cast one last cure on myself which prompted a notification to pop up.

  Congratulations, Cure has reached Level 2!

  Range: 5 feet → 6 feet

  Charge Time: 5 seconds → 4.8 seconds

  HP Recovery: 30% of max HP will be recovered over 20 seconds on the target of the spell → 35% of max HP will be recovered over 18 seconds on the target of the spell

  MP Cost: 15 → 18

  Well, at least one good thing happened tonight, I thought, walking around the bed and laying down on the other side with my back to Eldertits. We may have gotten our asses kicked and would be exiled from this city in less than twelve hours, but at least my Cure spell reached level two.

  I felt movement in the bed behind me, and a few seconds later, I felt Eldertits latch onto me and nuzzle her head into my back.

  "Hey Ryland," she whispered, "thanks for being here for me. You're a good friend."

  Through your words and actions tonight, you have gained +1000 reputation points with Eldertits (Player).

  Total reputation points with Eldertits (Player): 6000

  Reputation rank: friendship

  Points to next rank: 4000

  "You would have done the same for me," I whispered back. But she was already asleep.

  Chapter Three: Detour

  "I'll tell you what," Rondo said, "I'm glad they don't take credit cards here like they do back on Earth. Those rooms are going to need some major renovations, like thousands of dollars' worth of work."

  It was about seven fifteen in the morning, and the six of us gathered around a table in the common room to discuss what we should do. We filled both Turin and Viltria in on the night's events, and while the latter was outraged, the former wasn't as shocked. Apparently, to Turin, it sounded like something his father would pull.

  "Yeah," I responded. "I don't think they are going to let us back into this hotel any time soon."

  "Sure, they will," Eldertits said cheerfully. "As a member of House Parthanuun, I'll just let them know to charge all the damages to the house. Daddy will take care of it."

  She returned to her usual self after a few h
ours of sleep, which I was happy about. However, it was the second time in the last few days that I saw her fall into a depression which made me a little worried about her mental health. Sure, she already made everything into a joke and said some obnoxious things, but I think that is how she dealt with the world around her. Underneath it all, she was still a person I cared about, and I didn't like seeing her suffer.

  "I don't think he's going to like that very much," Turin said.

  I laughed in response and said, "What is he going to do? Send some assassins after us?"

  "The hotel is literally the least of your worries," Elaria snapped, shutting the rest of us up. "The four of us have a little over six hours until they come for us if we are still in Iltheilian territory, and trust me, the Silver Moon clan will come."

  Unlike Eldertits, Elaria woke up in a worse mood, not that I could blame her. We had, after all, gotten the shit kicked out of us, had only about four and a half hours of sleep, and she was told to leave the only home she had ever known.

  "We don't know for certain that it was the Silver Moon clan," Rondo said. "It's not like they announced who they were or anything."

  She glared at Rondo and said definitively, "It was the Silver Moon clan. There is no other group who could have pulled off such a feat in the heart of Ilthielthiel."

  "Okay, so assuming it is this Silver Moon clan, what can we do?" I asked. "Can we go to the authorities? I'm sorry, I don't know what to call the equivalent of police here."

  Elaria sighed and then growled, "The authorities will do nothing for several reasons. First of all, we have no evidence that they were sent by Haldir of House Parthanuun, even though we all know they were. Secondly, while there's tons of evidence of a struggle, there is nothing linking the attack to the Silver Moon clan. For all they know, Eldertits decided to get drunk and smash up some stuff. Oh wait, that's half of what happened."