He looks around and then motions for me to lower my voice. “I know. It’s been eating at me too.”
“So, why don’t we just tell her?” I suggest.
He shakes his head, looking at me as if I’ve gone mad. “Are you out of your mind?! We can’t.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “We could just explain it was an accident. Maybe she’ll understand.”
“No!” He all but yells. “Absolutely not.”
I feel defeated, until I realize that this isn’t his choice to make. “Well, I can’t promise I won’t say something.”
I can hear Brianna calling our names from the front yard. Holden looks at me and then nods slightly. He takes a couple steps toward me and lowers his lips to my ear.
“You tell Bree about the kiss, and I tell everyone about your little problem.”
My jaw drops. He wouldn’t dare, would he? He walks past me and back out to the front. I follow behind him and plaster a fake smile on my face for Bree.
“There you two are. Where’d you go?” She asks, smiling brightly when Holden drapes his arm over her shoulders.
“Kayleigh was just asking me what I got you for your birthday tomorrow.” He answers.
Shit. I forgot. How could I forget?!
“Oh! Tell me!” She tries.
Holden laughs. “Not a chance, babe.” He looks up at me and winks, and suddenly, I remember why I hated him in the first place.
THE FOURTH SHOT I take goes down easier than the three before it. Once Holden was done with the pledges, Bree seemed to disappear with him. I decided to get drunk. I find solace in the buzz the alcohol gives me. I chase each one with a sip of my beer. It seems the more I drink of it, the less I mind the taste.
“Easy tiger.” Someone says from next to me, taking the shot glass out of my hand. I look up and see familiar chocolate brown eyes looking back at me.
“I know you from somewhere.” I slur. “Cowlick!”
He laughs. “Close. It’s Caleb.”
I take another sip of my beer, trying to focus my eyes on him. “I like Cowlick better.”
The two of us make small talk, though to be honest I can’t focus much on what he’s saying. The song that’s on happens to be one of my favorites. I grab his hand, stopping him mid-sentence, and pull him onto the makeshift dance floor in the living room. The two of us move against each other to the beat of the music.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” I ask.
He makes a face of uncertainty. “You mean Taylor?” I nod. “We broke up.”
I mock a frown. “Too bad, so sad.”
Between the effects of the alcohol and the confidence the song gives me, I find myself being more daring than usual. I spin around, dancing against him as his hands rest on my hips. I reach my right hand up and place it on the back of his neck. When I turn my head towards his, our lips meet. It’s nothing too scandalous – just soft and slow, almost as if we’re testing the waters. His tongue pushes past my lips and into my mouth. I find myself wishing it was Holden instead of Caleb, but my eyes are closed and I can pretend. The sound of someone calling my name causes me to pull away.
Bree’s standing in front of me, looking angry. I can’t understand why until I notice Taylor standing next to her, her eyes quickly filling with tears.
“Caleb.” Bree says coldly.
He looks at Taylor and visibly softens. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
She shrugs and looks down, clearly unaware of what to say. He whispers an apology in my ear and walks away, lightly pulling her with him. Bree doesn’t relax. Instead she continues to give me a dirty look.
“What’s wrong grumpy gills?” I mimic Dory from Finding Nemo.
She isn’t amused. “Come on.” She wraps her fingers around my wrist and pulls me to the stairs. I follow her up them until we enter a familiar room. Holden is sitting on his bed, looking at us curiously.
“Bree, I love you and all, but I’m not interested in a threesome.” I sass.
Holden laughs while Bree rolls her eyes. She ignores me and turns to her boyfriend. “Taylor and I just found her making out with Caleb. I don’t have the time to carry her drunk ass home. I need to make sure Taylor’s okay. Can she crash here?”
I busy myself with looking around at all the pictures on his wall. “Look! There’s me!” I yell excitedly. It’s a picture of Holden and I with the twin boys from the grocery store.
He chuckles softly. “Yeah, she’s definitely too drunk to walk back to the dorms. Go take care of Taylor. I’ve got her.”
Bree thanks him and kisses him quickly. “Don’t let her leave!” She demands as she walks out the door, closing it behind her.
I look around some more until Holden’s voice catches my attention.
“What did you drink?”
I shrug. “A few shots, a couple beers. I’m not exactly sure.”
“Lightweight.” He quips.
“Shut up.” I snap back. “I’m still mad at you.”
He fake gasps. “At moi?” I nod. “Why?”
“Because you threatened to tell people about my eating disorder.” I cross my arms as if it will make me stronger.
He raises his eyebrows in realization. “Ah. Ok. Fair enough. I’m sorry.” I ignore him, not wanting to talk about it.
“Who are all these people?” I ask, still focused on the wall of pictures.
“Friends. Some from here, some from home.” He says it as if it’s no big deal, but almost every picture is of someone different.
I hum. “A lot of people love you.”
He snorts. “There you go with that word again.”
I turn toward him, no longer interested in the pictures. “What? You don’t believe they love you?”
“I’m not getting into this with you, especially not while you’re drunk.”
“Whatever.” I scoff. I go back to looking around, distracting myself from the room spinning.
“So, Caleb huh?” He says, sounding smug.
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Don’t give me that. You don’t get to judge me.”
“Oh yeah? Why not?”
“Because. I would have rather it been you, but you have a girlfriend.” I glare at him, until I realize what I just admitted.
Smooth, Kayleigh. Real smooth.
He stands up and looks at me, smirking. He takes a step toward me and I take one back, bumping into the wall and realizing I have nowhere to go. Holden places his hands on either side of my head, caging me. Suddenly, I feel stone cold sober.
“Holden, don’t.” I plead.
“Don’t what?” He’s so close, I can feel his breath on my lips.
I inhale slightly. “Don’t do something you’re going to apologize for later.”
“Hm, noted.”
With one swift move, his lips are moving with mine and his body is pressed against me, pinning me to the wall. I don’t hold back, letting myself have exactly what I’ve wanted all night. He grips my hips.
“This dress looks fucking sinful on you.” He murmurs against my mouth, moving his hands to my ass. “Jump.”
I do as he says and wrap my legs around his waist. He catches me with ease and holds me steadily against the wall. His tongue licks into my mouth and he turns to carry me toward the bed. He lays me down and hovers above me, panting.
“Tell me now if you want to stop.” He studies my face for any indication.
I don’t let myself overthink it. I reach up and pull him down on top of me, reconnecting our lips. I run my fingernails lightly down his back, causing him to moan - and the two of us lose ourselves in each other.
THE SUN POURS IN through the blinds. I throw my arm over my eyes, shielding myself from the light.
I don’t remember my bed being this comfortable. And since when do I sleep naked?
My eyes shoot open as memories from last night play like a movie reel inside my head. Holden lies asleep next to me, his arm draped over my stomach.
“Holden!”
I whisper-shout, nudging him with my arm. He hums in response. “Wake up!”
He opens his eyes and seems surprised to see me. I sit up, holding the blanket to cover my naked body. Judging by the look on his face, I ask the question going through both our minds.
“What the fuck did we do?”
Chapter Eight
I pace around the room, running my fingers through my hair repeatedly. Not only did I kiss my friend’s boyfriend, but I had sex with him, too. If there was ever an award for Worst Roommate Ever, I would get it.
“Kayleigh, stop pacing.” Holden says, trying to get me to calm down.
I shake my head. “This is bad. This is so bad. God, why did I have to be so stupid?!” I realize I put my dress on inside out while I rushed to put my clothes back on. I quickly take it off to switch it around.
“Oh, yeah, or we could do it again. That would solve things.” He quips. I glare at him as I fix my dress and put it back on. He realizes his mistake. “Oh.”
I continue pacing. “Bree is going to kill me. She’s going to know something happened the second she looks at me, and she’s going to cut my head off.”
Holden walks over and puts his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to stop. “The only way she will know something happened is if she notices track marks from you doing laps around the damn room. Now relax!”
I shiver from the cold, my movements no longer keeping me warm. The breeze comes in through the open window and goosebumps rise across my skin. I rub my arms to try to get rid of them.
“Who the hell sleeps with a window open in the middle of fall anyways?!” I sass.
Holden chuckles. He walks over to his closet, pulling out one of his sweatshirts and tossing it at me. I thank him quietly and pull it on, breathing in the smell of him that encases me.
Why does he have to smell so good?
I can’t help but notice the toned definition of his abs and his perfectly sun-kissed skin while he parades around the room in only a pair of basketball shorts. I bite down on my bottom lip as visions from last night play in my head.
“You’re beautiful.” He breathes as he thrusts up into me, his hands gripping my hips. “God, Kayleigh.”
I lean down to kiss him and moan into his mouth, his hold tightening immediately.
“Please stop doing that.” Holden says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Doing what?”
He smirks. “Biting your lip. It does things to me.”
Crap. Does that mean he caught me checking him out? No. I can’t let him intimidate me like this.
“Well, maybe you should put a shirt on.” I clap back.
It doesn’t have the effect on him I was hoping it would. He walks toward me slowly, staring me down as if he’s undressing me with his eyes.
“Why would I do that?” He asks, standing too close for comfort.
I swallow. “Because. You’re barely wearing anything and it’s inappropriate.” I try to stay strong, but my faltering voice gives me away.
“No, baby.” His voice is low and sulky as the term of endearment drips from his lips. “You want to see inappropriate, I’ll show you inappropriate.”
My breathing becomes shaky as my heart pounds against my ribs. He starts to lean down, his lips only inches from mine. I watch him carefully, waiting for the moment we kiss, but it never comes. Instead, he grabs his phone from the desk next to me, and backs away.
Tease.
I learn to breathe again as he scrolls through his phone. His smirk gives me every indication that he knows exactly what he’s doing.
He’s such a fucking ass. I bet this is all a game to him.
“Bree is on her way over.” He tells me, as if it’s insignificant.
I nod. “That’s my queue to leave.”
I take his sweatshirt off and place it over the back of the chair. I grab my clutch and my cellphone, then sit down on the bed to put my shoes back on. When I’m done, I stand up and start walking toward the door.
“What? No goodbye?” Holden pouts.
I roll my eyes. “Bye Holden.” I open the door but it’s pushed shut again. I turn around to glare at him again, wondering why he’s holding me hostage.
He stays with his hand against the door, leaning over me. I’m trapped. He takes my chin between his knuckle and his thumb, and pulls my face up to look at him. Bending down, he licks his lips before pressing them to mine, delivering one quick kiss. When he’s done, he releases me. I stand still, with my eyes still closed.
“Bye.” He whispers. I open my eyes and see him step away. I’m so shaken, I don’t know what to do. Instead of making a fool of myself, I leave the room.
I find my way through the house and down the stairs. I’m almost to the door, when someone stops me.
“Kayleigh! Wait up.” I turn around to see Caleb jogging toward me from the kitchen. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I didn’t mean to ditch you for Taylor.”
I wave dismissively. “No, really, it’s fine. She’s a beautiful girl. You’re really lucky.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “No. We aren’t back together or anything. We had just broken up, and I guess she was more upset about it than she let on. We talked, and we’re cool. But we’re not dating.”
“Oh.” I reply, not really knowing what else to say.
“Yeah.” He says nervously. “So, would you maybe want to go out with me tomorrow night?”
His eyes look hopeful, and I can’t deny I’m flattered. Maybe this is what I need to distract me from Holden. What’s that saying? To get over someone you need to get under someone else?
I smile shyly. “Sure, Caleb. That sounds great.”
He lights up, dimples appearing as he grins. “Sweet. I’ll pick you up at five.”
He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to me. His phone number. I smile and put it in my clutch. Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I look toward the stairs, and standing at the top of them is Holden. He’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, still shirtless.
No. No more of this.
“See you then.” I say, turning my attention to Caleb. He opens the door for me and I step out, leaving Holden and everything with him behind me. I need to. Doing anything else is wrong.
Now to go find Brianna a birthday present so my guilt doesn’t completely destroy me.
CALEB TEXTS ME TO let me know he’s outside. I look at the clock - 4:57. Right on time. I finish brushing my hair, throw on my jacket and shoes, and head towards the door.
“Alright, I’ll be back later.” I say to Bree. She’s engrossed in studying for a big exam she has coming up, but she hums a quick good luck and I head out the door.
I ended up buying her a new Apple Pencil for her iPad, since hers broke, and a new hair straightener. The straightener was necessary since an incident where one of us, who may have been me, left hers on and it melted.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to spend too much time with her. She was out with Holden for most of the day and only came back right before I was going to sleep.
Caleb waves to me from the driver’s seat of his truck, a brand new looking F-150. I open the door and climb in, shivering from the cold and adjusting the vents so the heat warms me. He notices and turns it up a little.
“Why is it so cold?! It’s only October.” I whine, causing Caleb to chuckle. When I finally warm up, I reach over and turn the heat down a little. “Okay, I’m better now.”
He smiles. “Good, though I should tell you, we’re going ice skating.” I face palm. “But wait, reach into the bag in the backseat.”
I do as he says and grab the bag, pulling out the contents – a pair of gloves and a hat.
“This is really thoughtful.” I tell him. “Thank you.”
Caleb and I spend the drive listening to some music and talking about our classes. I learn that he’s on a soccer scholarship and is majoring in Business. Not exactly my cup of tea, but he seems passionate about i
t. As we pull into the parking lot, he picks a parking spot towards the front, and the two of us climb out of the truck.
“So, have you ever been skating before?” He asks.
“Maybe a bit.” I don’t want to brag and tell him about how I’ve taken figure skating lessons since I was a little girl.
It’s not crowded. Only maybe 10 people on the rink. Caleb pays for the two of us and we walk over to get our skates. As we’re putting them on and lacing them up, I notice he isn’t making his tight enough.
“If you don’t make them tighter, you’ll hurt your ankles.” I inform him. He looks a little surprised.
“I thought you said you’ve only done this a bit.”
I smile. “Yeah, I may have lied.”
I stand up and take the couple steps to the entrance of the rink. As I step on, I glide with ease, testing the ice. It only takes a few seconds before I’m in my element. I spin around and begin skating backwards, looking at Caleb who stares at me, his jaw slacked. I wave for him to follow and he does just that.
“Okay, so you’re like a professional figure skater.” He laughs. “Any other surprises?” I shrug, suddenly feeling shy yet still comfortable.
The two of us skate laps around the rink, listening to music and talking. He used to play ice hockey in high school and hasn’t been skating since. I tell him about my figure skating lessons. It’s nice to know we have something in common.
The two of us start to race. At first I think I can take him, but when he really starts to push, I know I have no chance. He’s used to going fast, while I’m more skilled in tricks. Once the rink is empty enough, I start to goof around a bit. After landing a few jumps, I finally stop after successfully completing a triple Lutz.
“Show off.” Caleb teases. I smile and look down at the ice. This date was fun; however, I still can’t get my mind off Holden.
You have to. Keep pushing. It’ll happen.
AS WE LEAVE THE rink, Caleb checks his phone to learn his frat is having another party tonight. He asks me if I want to go. I hesitate, but ultimately decide I can’t let Holden keep me back from enjoying myself. If I want anything to happen with Caleb, I need to accept that I’m going to see him from time to time. They’re on the same soccer team and a part of the same fraternity – it’s inevitable.
Sleepless November (Sleepless November Saga Book 1) Page 5