Dare to Love

by C. J. Welles

  The rest of our story is history.

  Everything was fine until the last few months.

  “Are you okay?” I turn my head to the side to see the petite blond standing there looking at me with concern. She has stunning blue eyes and a kind smile. She is honestly petite from head to toe and I’m jealous of how well she pulls it off.

  “Ah, yeah,” I reply with a raspy voice.

  “Are you sure? You’ve been cryin’.”

  I wipe my cheeks and feel that they’re wet. I hadn't even known I was crying. “I’m fine,” I say with a fake small smile.

  “Do you want to talk?” she asks.

  “I’ve got this, Callie,” I hear Bryson’s deep rumbling voice say from behind me.

  She gives him a weird look and he gives her a reassuring nod. “He may come across as a brooding asshole, but he really is a nice guy,” Callie says.

  “I know,” I reply quietly.

  She gives me a kind smile. “Come visit us tomorrow,” she says to Bryson as she looks to him. “You know Jace acts like he doesn't care, but he does want to see you.”

  This must be Jace’s wife. I heard he was married and had a little girl.

  “I’ll be there for dinner.” He gives her a pointed look. “No going back and telling him I’m trying to drink myself into a stupor. He’ll be here in a flash, ripping me a new one for making his wife upset.”

  She laughs at him. “He is a little protective. No doing anything stupid though. See you later.” She gives me a little wave.

  I watch as she walks away, while I try to avoid eye contact with Bryson. “She’s nice. Jace seems to have done well and settled down,” I say, breaking the long uncomfortable silence.

  “Yeah, he’s lucky,” Bryson replies with his deep voice. “Why have you been cryin’?”

  I shrug my shoulders. As if I’m stupid enough to answer him and give him more ammunition to be an asshole to me. “Just thinking.”

  “About us?” he asks as he pulls out a chair and sits at the table with me. I just shrug again. He sighs loudly as he runs a hand down over his face. “I’m not going to have a go at you.

  “You expect me to believe that? You hate me. Why would you want to sit here with me?”

  “Because.” He tips his head back and drinks from his beer. My body heats as I watch him slowly lower his drink and settle his gaze on me.

  Just thinking of Bryson turns me on – when I’m not upset or angry with him – let alone being this close to him.

  “Well,” he prompts.

  “Ah, yeah,” I admit. What else would I be thinking about that would make me cry?

  “Do you regret doing it?” he asks. I answer him with a nod. But what I regret doing, is different to what he’s asking. “Why did you do it?”

  I shrug as I look down and fiddle with my hands. I can't give him what he wants. The full truth will only make things worse. I don't look back at him, even when he clears his throat, clearly waiting for an answer. He slams his beer bottle down, then I hear his chair sliding backward before smashing into the ground. I look up and he’s standing with his back to me.

  “You know what, everyone thought I was the biggest asshole for leaving you after you had surgery. Everyone thought it was too much for me and that I’d just called off our engagement. I let everyone think that I’d done wrong by you because no matter how much you hurt me, I still wanted to protect you. I still loved you.” He turns to look at me. “And you can't even give me a fucking reason. You cheated on me and ruined us then skipped town the next day. Fucking hell, Casey, you could at least tell me why.”

  I shake my head. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. It’s all I can say.

  “I’ve just swallowed my pride and sat here with you to ask why and all you say is that you’re sorry.” He spins around and walks away without another word.

  I feel my throat closing in and more tears thundering down my cheeks as my head pounds. As I hear his truck startup, I get out of my chair and run across the car park. I run into the middle of the driveway as he begins to move. I don't know what to say to him but I do know I don't want him to leave.

  He beeps the horn but I stay in my spot.

  “Casey, I swear to fucking god, move,” he yells as he leans out of his truck window.

  “No,” I say sternly.

  He slams his door open and jumps out before slamming his

  door closed. “Do you want me to move you?” he growls as he stops only a few feet in front of me. “I won't be nice about it.” I hold his angry glare and don't back down. “You had your chance to speak and wasted it, so get the fuck out of my way.”

  He walks back to his truck and before I can stop myself. The words are spilling out of me. “I lied,” I yell. “I didn't do it,” I say just above a whisper. I don’t think that he hears me until I see him freeze. “I didn't know what else to do. I told you I wanted to break up but you didn't listen to me. I was broken and I knew that if you thought I had slept with someone else, you would let me go.” I take a step closer to him. “That you wouldn't fight for me anymore.”

  I take another step which brings me only inches away from him. I know Bryson would never physically hurt me, but I’m still a little concerned with being this close to him. I can feel the anger and hurt coming from him. His entire body is shaking, his hands are clenched and his head is slumped forward.

  “I’m sorry Bryson, I didn’t want to hurt you, but… there was no other way.” I put my hand on his back as I talk. “You were too loyal. No matter how much I stuffed up our future, you still stood by me. You were there picking up the broken pieces and trying to fix me.” His body is trembling with each word I say. “I needed to set you free. I was the one who ruined our lives and our future. It was me, not you and I wanted you to move on with someone who deserved you.”

  He shrugs my hand from his back as he lifts his head up to the sky. “Don't fucking touch me,” he growls. He takes long strides towards his truck. “You’re more of a bitch than I thought you were.” With that, he hops in his truck. He has the truck in gear and is driving off before he even has his door shut.

  I don't try to stop him this time. Nothing else I say, at this point in time, will make anything better. I know I deserve all of his hate but it still hurts.

  *

  Bryson

  I SKID OUT of the car park, flicking up rocks as I go.

  She lied to me.

  She. Fucking. Lied.

  I don't know what is worse; thinking she cheated on me or knowing she lied to me and pushed me away for no reason.

  All the heartache and pain I went through when she left. All the sideways glances and death glares I got from everyone who thought it was too hard for a hot head. All of it for no fucking reason.

  I pull off onto the shoulder of the road half a mile down the road. I’ve been drinking too much to drive. I shouldn't have even started my truck up, let alone driven anywhere. I get out and stride around to the passenger side before I kick the tire of my truck repeatedly. I’d love to punch a few things, but I’m sane enough to know I can't injure myself before the championship.

  I can't believe the selfishness of Casey.

  Krystal was dying and she still put me first. She knew her days were limited and she was more worried about what people would think about me when we decided we were best as friends.

  Casey up and left when it was all too hard. She didn't give a shit what people thought of me or how it would affect me. She is the reason I couldn’t give my heart to Krystal. I wanted more than anything, to love Krystal, but I couldn't. I couldn't get over the pain that was in my heart.

  That still is in my heart.

  I let down the tailgate on my truck and hop up on the bed before I pull out my phone and call Kaylee. Hopefully, she and Makayla can come pick me and my truck up. If not, I’m stuck sleeping here until morning.

  ***

  Chapter Ten

  Bryson

  I SMASH MY fist into the boxing bag over an
d over. My arms are tired and sweat is dripping down my face, but I don't give up. My whole body is starting to ache from hours of training. I’ve got three days until I leave for Vegas and I’ve spent most of the past week training.

  When I haven't been training, I’ve been helping dad on the ranch. Yesterday, after four hours of continuous training on the homemade mechanical bull, I then helped dad move thirty head of cattle from the south pastures across and up to where our ranch meets Jace’s. Tomorrow we have to move the herd thirty miles away. It’s easier to cross Jace’s ranch and through to the Campbell’s ranch than following along the road. It’s been nearly two years since I’ve done a cattle drive.

  Thank god tomorrow is only a small herd and we don't have to go far. We’re lucky we can use Jace’s ranch, otherwise, it’d take a lot longer.

  “That's enough, Bry,” Nath calls out.

  “No.”

  He and Ryan arrived home three days ago. It took them six days to get from New York back to here. Only they could take that long to drive here. Six days means a possible six more broken hearts across America that Ryan caused. Ever since Makayla’s been with Billy, Ryan's been reckless.

  “You’re going to injure yourself if you don't stop,” Nath growls. “You need to give your body a rest.”

  I punch the bag two more times, then stop. Panting, I pull the gloves off and drop them to the floor before grabbing a bottle of water.

  “You’re not doing yourself any good by going that hard. Your body is going to be worn out by the time you get to the championship.”

  I just grunt at him as I walk out, chucking my empty bottle in the bin on the way.

  “What's gotten into you? You’ve been moody since Krystal died, but this week, you’ve taken moody to the next level.” When I don’t answer him, he just sighs. “Whatever. I’m goin’ in for dinner.”

  Walking into the stable I saddle up Cyril, my stock horse, then ride him down the driveway. I continue riding, not even knowing where I want to go until I’m nearly at Casey’s parents’ house. I should turn around and go back to the ranch. Talking to Casey should be the last thing I want to do. She broke my heart then left town without a second glance. And now she’s telling me it was all a lie.

  I pull on Cyril’s reins, stopping him on the edge of the Hart’s driveway. I look over at the door and hesitate. This is stupid. It’s so fucking stupid. Being here, I’m only asking for more hurt.

  Before I have a chance to get Cyril moving, to get the hell away from here, Melanie walks out and sees me. She gives me a wave as she walks my way. I haven’t seen her much over the years.

  “Hey Bryson, how are you?” she asks in her friendly tone.

  “I’m good.” I shift nervously on Cyril. I’ve not seen Melanie much over the years. I’ve seen Robert several times in town but he’s never been much of a talker. He’s one of those people who doesn’t talk often, but when he does talk, people stop and listen.

  “You just missed Casey. She left an hour ago.”

  I don’t answer but just nod my head instead.

  “You know that she’s still hurting after all these years. She tells me she is okay and happy, but a mother always knows when there is something wrong with her children.”

  “Did Casey ever tell you why we ended our engagement and why she left town?”

  Melanie shakes her head. “She didn’t tell me why, she just said things had to end. I know that she had been pushing you away after the surgery, as she thought she wasn’t good enough anymore.”

  “She was always good enough,” I whisper. “No matter what happened, she was still my fiancé and I loved her.”

  “I know but sometimes it’s hard for a woman to see that. I had a miscarriage when Jolene was two years old. I was twenty-six weeks pregnant when I got a viral infection and the baby didn’t survive. Robert did everything he could to be there for me but I felt that I had failed him and our baby. I pushed him away and our marriage was close to ending. In the end, it took for Robert to pack his bags and go stay with his parents for me to realize I needed him in my life.”

  “I never knew that.”

  “It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s made our marriage stronger.”

  I sit quietly on top of Cyril as I look out over the trees on the horizon. Casey kept pushing me away and no matter what, I kept coming back. Maybe I should have given her some space and things might have been different for us.

  “She told me she slept with another man,” I say quietly. “I found her in his house and it sure as hell looked like she’d been with him. Then the next day she packed her things and left town.”

  I hear Melanie suck in a breath. “I always wondered why you didn’t go after her.” I look at her and she gives me a sad smile. “I always had hoped that you two would make your way back to each other but I now see that it won’t happen.” She looks sad and I feel bad for upsetting her.

  There’s more I want to say. I need to get it off my chest but it’s not fair on Melanie. She’s a good person. She doesn’t deserve my shit.

  I grab Cyril’s reins and with a goodbye to Melanie, I head back home.

  *

  Bryson

  Five Years Ago

  A SMALL SMILE makes its way onto my face when I think of Casey this morning. She wasn’t feeling well and had vomited twice from morning sickness. I hate that she still isn’t over the morning sickness stage, but Casey is a trooper and it doesn’t bother her.

  She had just spent the past five minutes with her head in the toilet but she still cracked jokes at me. Nothing fazes her and she’s one of the strongest people I know. Other people would be complaining and hulled up in bed, but not Casey.

  I’m halfway through saddling up Cyril when I see mom running towards where I’m standing. She looks panicked and as if she’s going to cry. “What’s wrong mom?” I take the saddle from Cyril and hang it back over the stall fence.

  “Casey.” I feel faint from that one panicked word. “Melanie called the house phone because you haven’t been answering your cell. Casey’s in the hospital. She collapsed and passed out. They took her to the hospital by ambulance half an hour ago.” I rush out of the stable and to my truck then jump in. Mom opens the passenger door. “Wait a minute and I’ll come.”

  “Hurry up. I don’t have time to wait around.” I jump out of my truck and quickly run inside to grab my cell. I dial Melanie’s number and she answers on the first ring.

  “Oh god, Bryson. Where are you?”

  “Mom and I are just leaving home,” I say as I jump back in my truck and start it. “What happened? Is she okay?”

  There’s silence on the other end of the phone. “It’s not good, Bryson.”

  “Fuck,” I yell out as my heart clenches in my chest. “The baby?” I ask in a whisper.

  Mom jumps in the truck as Melania answers. “Just hurry here, Bryson. She’s going to need you.”

  “Melanie,” I yell, but she’s already hung up.

  I’m praying that Casey and our baby will be okay but I have a bad feeling. I can’t lose Casey, she is my life. She’s been my everything for the past four years.

  I drive like a madman for the next five minutes until I pull up in front of the emergency doors. I ask mom to park my truck as I jump out and run through the doors.

  I come to a stop when I find Melanie and Robert in the waiting room. Robert has his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his palms. Melanie’s face is puffy from crying and I can see her body shaking as she keeps crying.

  Melanie sees me and she races over to me and wraps her arms around me. “They’re taking her up to surgery.” She holds me tighter as more tears take over her body and I hold her tighter as I fight off my tears. “What happened? What made her collapse?”

  Melanie untwines her arms from me and I see Robert stand up and walk over to us. He wraps an arm around Melanie’s shoulders and she leans her head on his chest. “The doctor said she’s having an ectopic pregnancy.” He pauses
as Melanie lets out a loud sob. “They said there is a second baby in her tubes. They’re going to try to do all they can to save the first baby, but their priority is Casey.”

  “How did this happen?” I whisper as I stumble over to a chair and sit down. I fist my hair in my hands as a low growling sound is ripped from my throat. It feels like the air is being sucked from me.

  “How did she get here? Who called the paramedics?” I croak, my voice only just above a whisper as I hold back my tears.

  I should have stayed home this morning when Casey said she wasn’t feeling well. She said she was okay, but I should have stayed with her.

  “She called me this morning after you left and said she wouldn’t be at work today. I told her I’d come for a visit. When I got there, she looked pale and she vomited again. She was walking back into the kitchen when she grabbed onto the door frame. She looked down and my eyes followed her and… Oh, god, there was so much blood running down her legs,” Melanie sobs. “I… I held her tightly while I called 911. She kept bleeding…” Melanie’s body sags but Robert keeps hold of her.”

  “Honey, don’t talk about it anymore,” he gently says to her. “She’s here now and the doctors will look after her.”

  Melanie’s words play over and over in my head.

  There was so much blood.

  There was so much blood.

  If I was at home, I could have seen earlier that she wasn’t okay and brought her to the hospital.

  Our baby might die because I didn’t look after my fiancé.

  I can’t help it, I start to cry.

  I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m soft because I’m crying. I couldn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. The only thing I care about is in surgery. My fiancé and my baby are both fighting for their lives. And a second baby, that we didn’t know about, has already died.

  I stand up and walk outside and find my truck. I need space and I need fresh air. The stale hospital smell has filled my head and lungs and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. I lean my hands on the bonnet of my truck and drop my head down.