Incendiary

by Elisabeth

  I nodded.

  “I want you, McKenna. I really do. I can’t stop.”

  That was all the indication I got before I felt Alexander’s hand move farther down my body and cup my sex. Then, he pushed his member in between my cheeks, just leaving it there for a moment. He rubbed in an up and down motion.

  “McKenna…” He called out to me making my name sound like a damn prayer. I had never heard anyone call my name like that. It made this moment even hotter.

  “Yes?”

  “How do you feel about being a mother?”

  My eyes widened. “What?” I croaked, my voice still not fully restored to its full capacity.

  “I can reach over for a condom, but I’ve had a taste of you without one, and the way you feel, nothing in this world can ever compare.”

  As Alexander spoke, his fingers began to work in a way I couldn’t comprehend. Where had he learned this? Those were fingers made from magic. No human hand could make anyone feel the way he made me feel. What was going on with me? Why was I reacting like that when I never reacted like that before?

  “No…” I started finding my voice. “We need a condom. You can’t slide in me raw.”

  Alexander chuckled as if I said something funny.

  “Baby, I’m clean, and I know you’re clean. God…say yes. Don’t say no to me, babe.”

  “No, Alex. You need to use a condom,” I reiterated.

  “Damn!” he exclaimed, as he stopped all movements.

  I was surprised he even listened to my request as he removed himself from me and got out of the bed. I frowned thinking he wasn’t pleased with me. When I used to say no to Jerry, he would leave me alone for hours or sometimes days.

  “I’m sorry,” I said to him as I buried my face in the pillow.

  Tears began to slip out of my eyes. It felt like the time Jerry wanted to try anal because it was his birthday, but I wasn’t ready for it at the time. It was a bad week for me as it was my mother’s death anniversary, yet he wanted it to be all about him. I really wanted to be supportive of him. Unfortunately that year was the first year I didn’t have her around. I just couldn’t do it, and now, the same feeling I had then was resurfacing. I heard Alexander’s feet pad across the floor. I thought he was leaving me in the room by myself. Then, I felt the bed dip, indicating he had gotten back into bed with me.

  “What’s the matter? What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he asked me, as he dragged me to him again, that time turning me to face him. I buried my face in my hands, not wanting him to see me like that. He didn’t know me like that, and I didn’t know him well enough to cry in front of him.

  “I’m good, just give me a minute to compose myself,” I lied.

  He did the opposite, pulling at me and laying my head against his chest.

  “Damn, baby; what did he do to you?” he asked me.

  “It’s not Jerry; this is the first time he’s ever laid a hand on me.” I tried to make it clear.

  “No, it’s him. I’m not talking about him hitting you. I’m talking about the way you reacted to me moving away. You don’t think I see things, but I do. I’m a very observant man, babe. I told you that a couple of weeks ago. The first time I saw you in your classroom, something was off. You smiled and talked, yet there was sadness in your eyes. Even the fake smile couldn’t fix it. I don’t even think you heard your tone when you said you were engaged. There was a bitter undertone to it. So, I’ll ask again. What did he do to you?”

  Hearing those words from Alexander shook me. Not only because they were true, but because I tried to hide the sadness deep within me. I wanted what my parents had, even if one of them didn’t want to love me like he loved his wife. I wanted a man to truly love me so damn hard I could never question his actions toward me. That’s why I’d stayed. That’s why seven years of my life was robbed from me, and I allowed it to be taken. I can’t blame Jerry for it all; I sat there taking it as if I had to. I forced myself to stay in that situation, and I really thought it was okay.

  Why did I think that?

  More tears escaped my eyes without my permission.

  “I…” I tried clearing my throat, but it wasn’t working. I was going to have another panic attack if I didn’t calm down. “I don’t know why I stayed. I don’t know why I ignored all the signs. All the missed birthdays, inconsistencies and lies, I ignored. The many times he never called me after I upset him. I just wanted…” I couldn’t say it out loud, even though a moment ago I just admitted it to myself. It was too much.

  “Shh.” Alexander hugged me tighter, shielding me in his arms, making me feel like everything would be okay. But, I knew I was having a panic attack because I couldn’t breathe anymore. I pushed at him, wanting to get out of his hold. He let go of me, and I moved off the bed, needing some sort of air to fill my lungs, air that was all around, but I couldn’t inhale it.

  “I…” I tried to speak at the same time, yet too much was happening. “I need to leave. Please…” I began to sob uncontrollably. “Please, let me leave,” I asked him as I dropped to my knees.

  Alexander appeared in front of me as he got on his knees too. We were both in the nude; however, neither of us cared about that. I looked at him through my tear-stricken eyes as his mismatched eyes shined bright with empathy. I didn’t see pity in them at all. I wanted to calm down, yet it still wasn’t working for me.

  “McKenna…look at my hand, baby,” he said as he brought his hand out to me. I looked at his discolored palm. It was discolored and disfigured. It looked like someone had set it on fire. “I understand what you’re going through. To have someone who you thought loved you, unfortunately, betray you. They ruin your trust in love making it grow into hate, something you don’t want to feel. It seeps through your veins making you wish they were dead, day after day. He pointed to his palm. This here, the man who raised me, my father, decided one day to try something out for fun as he set my hand over a stove top leaving it there for two minutes. He hurt me so much. The hate for him grew inside me larger than anything else in this world. He thought he won as he tried to terrorize me in my childhood before I remembered who I truly was. He tried everything, and despite that, I remembered I am a great warrior and no one, not a damn person, can ever take that from me.”

  I didn’t realize I was breathing normally as I got closer to him touching the palm of his hand. Did I not notice or feel this as he touched me? His left hand shook from the way I ran my fingers over his palm. I looked up at him.

  “Does it hurt?” I asked, my voice still hoarse.

  He shook his head.

  “No, I lost all sensation in this palm, but the way you’re tracing over it with your fingers, I feel something. Something I’ve never felt with anyone else touching it.” He confessed as he perplexedly looked at his palm I kept touching.

  “Did he hurt you…a lot?” I asked him in a quiet whisper, as I refused to look up at him.

  “He did. He used to beat me every day, as soon as I got old enough to walk. There was something he was trying to do with my psyche or something. Trying to make sure I didn’t remember who I was and that I would give up all hope, but I didn’t. He did horrible things, things I can’t begin to tell you about, and if I did, you would look at me different. Things he did to my body are all covered up by tattoos that mean a lot to me.”

  “Is he? Does he know about Paris?” I asked concerned about his father being around Paris as well.

  “The moment Paris’ mother dropped him on my doorstep, I tracked my father down, and I killed him.”

  I blinked, not sure what to say to that.

  Would I have killed my father if he hurt me in any way? Probably.

  “Did you kill Jerry?” I asked, reaching out with both my hands, taking his left hand into mine, fascinated by the mere size. I sat on the warm, plush carpet, facing him.

  “Did you want me to?” he asked, a certain edge to his voice.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything, anymore
. I don’t even know why I’m sitting here caressing your hand like this, after what I saw. I don’t know why I had sex with you, or why I’m attracted to you. I don’t know anymore.”

  He sat on the carpet with me, as well.

  “You recognize a kindred spirit,” he responded.

  I looked up at Alexander not able to say anything. I looked him over in his naked glory. The lower neck tattoos were part of his chest, shoulder blades, arms, and from the look of it, it extended to his back.

  “You covered up all the hurt?” I asked him as I continued to look him over.

  “I did.” He sighed, removing his hand from mine as he turned around to show off his back. “I couldn’t cover this up, though.”

  I gasped in horror as his back came into full view. There were criss-cross gashes that looked like they were inflicted upon his back, but when they healed it happened again. They looked like vines that extended from his tattoos as he had yellow roses that looked like they grew out of each gash and there were so many gashes. I didn’t know this man; nevertheless, my heart broke into a million tiny pieces for him. For the things he had to endure and how he was standing here today. Even when I met him, I didn’t see a weak man; his eyes showed none of that.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said to him as I covered my mouth, not wanting to cry. I had always been a crier, and this was bound to make me cry a million times over.

  He turned back around, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, love. I’m fine. Look at me; I’m here, aren’t I?” he asked me.

  I looked at him, truly looked at him, and all I could see was him younger, looking like Paris, as he got abused in such a way, and no one was there to help him. I threw caution to the wind as I reached out to cup his face in my hands and kissed him. I kissed him for being an example of someone who could move on and be alright, despite how much someone could hurt you. He was meant to be broken down, beaten and stripped of his humanity, and there he was, a stronger person for it. As I kissed him, I felt a shift come over me too early, but nevertheless, it came. It came so damn hard it knocked my breath away, and I refused to pull away from him as he kissed me like I was his last hope of gaining his soul to make it to heaven. I pulled away before things could get hot and heavy between us. “You killed Jerry, didn’t you?”

  He chuckled.

  “Unfortunately, no. I still need him, but I will if he ever touches you again.” His face transformed to a look I hadn’t been privy to, until now. He looked ready to kill something.

  “Okay,” I said.

  “You’re just going to accept it?” he asked me as he eyed me suspiciously.

  “Secretly, I wished you killed him. I wish I could kill those who hurt me. I hate them both.”

  “Both?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “Jerry and my father. They didn’t love me even though I did everything to be loved. I was good. I made sure to always be good for them, but neither of them wanted me. They treated me like I was made to love them, but they weren’t made to love me back. It hurts,” I admitted. I shut my eyes as I wrapped my arms around Alexander’s neck and rested my head on his shoulder. I didn’t want him to see the vulnerability in my eyes.

  “You want me to kill them? Say the word, and I’ll do it.”

  I shook my head.

  “I don’t want their blood on my hands.”

  “I do,” Alexander said, and I moved back.

  “Who are you?” I asked. Someone like him seemed and looked like such a dangerous man.

  “I’m Alexander of Troy. How many times do I need to tell you that?” he said sounding a bit irritated.

  “Alexander Troy, you mean? That is why Paris corrected you. You sound nutty saying it like that; plus, we all know there was only one Alexander of Troy from the Iliad. You know Paris, lover of Helen of Sparta and the man who took down Achilles, Greek mythology.”

  Alexander smirked at me as he quietly observed me.

  “You need more time before I tell you everything. Just know this, I make no mistake when I call myself Alexander of Troy. I know who I am. Do you know who I am?” he asked, throwing me into a world of questions.

  Who is Alexander Troy?

  Alexander

  I wanted to tell McKenna right then and there, but it wasn’t the time. I needed to find a way to prove it to her, so she would stop doubting me. I sent a silent request to Aphrodite, whom I hadn’t searched for since I was first reborn. I asked her to do me this one favor and show her who I truly was, so she knew the kind of man I still was.

  I stood up with McKenna in my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I leaned in kissing her once more as if she was the answer to everything I’ve ever needed. She was the water after walking through the desert and almost not making it out. I walked us back to the bed, needing to be inside of her once more. Nothing else in this world mattered. We landed on the bed without our lips breaking contact. A side of me that hadn’t been awakened for a long time rose up, needing payment. I growled in her mouth as my member pulsated so damn hard that I couldn’t think straight. I broke our kiss and looked down at McKenna waiting for her to open her eyes.

  “Are you ready, baby?” I asked her.

  She opened her eyes and looked at me.

  “Ready for what?” she whispered.

  “For your voice box to break. Come here,” I said as I got off the bed. “You trust me?” I asked as I pulled her up.

  “No,” she answered honestly.

  I grinned at her, knowing the look in my eyes would terrify her, but she was the one that woke this monster up inside of me. She would have to face the consequences.

  “Good.” I continued looking at her. “Since this is new for you, I want you to know something; when I tell you to assume the position in the future, this is what you’ll do,” I told her as I maneuvered her around.

  “What the hell?” she asked but still complied with the position. Deep down, I knew she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t want to, or if she wasn’t curious about it.

  “Don’t move,” I said, walking away for a moment.

  When I returned, she was still in position, dripping on my bedsheets, and I loved it. I dropped the contents in my hands on the bed, and she turned slightly, eyeing them.

  “Wha—what is that?” Her voice filled with a bit of fear.

  “Pick a safe word. Any word, baby.”

  “A word?”

  “Yes. The two weeks I kept myself from you, I bought you some new things I knew you would enjoy. Now, if only you would pick a safe word so we can begin. You can fully be in my world. Then, I can show you just how wonderful it is to be with me.” I bit my bottom lip as I picked up the wrist cuffs with a small chain, swinging it side to side in her face.

  I watched as she took a big gulp looking like she was going to say, ‘no,’ but there was that curious glint in her eyes as she looked at the rest of the contents on the bed then at the cuffs and finally up at me. I gave nothing away except for the promise of ecstasy in my eyes.

  “If I pick a word, any word, when you hear it, you’ll stop?”

  I sharply nodded trying to concentrate, but my mind kept going to me shoving my member so far down her throat I would end up moaning for the both of us.

  “Yes, love.” I tried to make my voice neutral, but the intensity of it all had me sounding much rougher than I ever sounded.

  “Yellow,” she said, and my eyebrows shot up.

  “Why yellow?” I asked.

  “It reminds me of the roses you sent me. All yellow.”

  “Mmm.” I smiled that time. I was pretty sure I looked like the big bad wolf ready to devour my prey whole. “Good. Sit back on your heels, babe,” I instructed her, and she did it without so much as a complaint, and that made me smile even harder. “Turn around and give me your wrists.” She turned and stretched them out behind her toward me.

  Cuffing her wrists made me so hard I was sure my member was
made of steel at this point. I turned her around slowly as she was on her knees. When she was fully turned, she looked me in my eyes. I couldn’t help it. I smirked at her then my demeanor changed.

  “Open.”

  She opened up her mouth, and I lost myself.

  I grabbed my member squeezing it for a moment causing a groan to escape from my mouth. Then, I began stroking. Slow, tight strokes that made it look like I was choking it. I looked McKenna in the eye as I started to stroke even harder, faster, and I watched as the look in her eyes changed. She was just as turned on as I was as she squirmed in her position not able to reach out and touch me. I watched her as a little bit of pre-cum leaked, and she looked at it then licked her lips.

  Mmm, that mouth.

  I got a bit closer to her mouth as I traced over her lips with my member leaving her lips coated in my pre-cum. A moan so beautiful escaped from her mouth, and her tongue darted out licking the head of it.

  I stepped back.

  “You want this baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where?” I asked her as I began stroking myself again. That time, she took a while to answer, but when she did, she broke me.

  “In my pretty little mouth, Daddy.”

  I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth, looking at her as her eyes shined with some sort of mischief in them.

  “Beg me.” My voice sounded darker, much more guttural and less comprehensive.

  “Please.”

  “Again.”

  “Please.” McKenna smirked at me as if I was the one who had no idea what I had just gotten into. “Put your dick in my mouth and let me suck you dry, Alexander of Troy.”

  I almost came right there.

  “Yes, baby.”

  She didn’t have to tell me twice. I slowly slid inside her mouth, gritting my teeth. She felt like what it should feel when you slide your entire self into bliss.

  That didn’t even make sense.

  That’s how much this simple gesture got to me. I deeply moaned as she took more of me, but the moment she looked into my eyes, a dam broke. I couldn’t control my body or movements as I began to speed up. My hands moved to cup her face.