The Loudest Silence (Part One)

by Olivia Janae

  She wasn’t sure how long it had been – the concept of time was far from the room – but it felt like too soon when Vivian’s arms constricted around Kate’s neck, her loud cries increasing.

  Kate kissed her face, her eyelids, her lips, her throat, whispering unheard words of encouragement as Vivian climaxed, springing into her, rolling, writhing, her hands closing in Kate’s hair until finally, after a time that was so long and yet not long enough, she fell limp into her arms.

  Kate smiled down at her as Vivian’s eyes fluttered, and she gave a deep laugh, her voice rough.

  “What’s funny?”

  Vivian didn’t answer. Instead, she leaned up, kissing Kate again as she pushed her over.

  Vivian worked across her body, playing her like she was a piano, signing beautiful poetry into her skin as she touched her.

  Kate was a breathy mess in seconds; she had never felt hands like these. They could pull every ounce of what they wanted from her with the slightest touch. A throaty chuckle escaped from Vivian’s lips as she drew Kate close to her edge, only to push her away and do it again and again. Just before Kate finally fell, she felt gentle fingers touch her face, pulling her jaw, pulling her eyes to her own, holding them.

  When she fell, she did it fully exposed under the gaze of her new lover, nothing there to cater to a hidden sense of modesty as she writhed in Vivian’s hands, calling, begging, thanking all at once, her own hand over Vivian’s against her cheek.

  When they finally couldn’t take any more, seconds and hours later, they just lay together under the covers until, worn, they faded wordlessly into sleep.

  The benefit of Kate’s brick apartment building was the same as that of a deaf lover; when she woke in the middle of the night, high on deeds recently done, and decided to spend a moment with her cello, she woke no one.

  Her body swayed a bit as she pulled the bow across the strings, basking in the deep resonance of the sound. It was a common piece, one of the first a student learns once they are able to produce a passable sound on the cello, but it had always been her favorite, the prelude to Bach’s Cello Suite No. 2.

  When played by a novice, the sound was silly and light, meaningless. When played by an artist, it took on a life of its own, becoming deep and seductive, almost mournful.

  Kate lived in the way the music raised goose bumps on her arms; its dips and curves rang through the room, filling it as it filled her.

  Normally she was a physically stiff player, not one who gave into the more theatrical swaying or movements typical to her instrument. Tonight, with her body well used and her head clear like it hadn’t been for a while, she gave in. Her back bowed, her head swayed as she listened, enjoying the music.

  She didn’t spend enough time with her cello these days. She had been too filled with stress over Ash, over her job. She missed it, her first love. She pulled her bow and let her torso move as well, dipping a little as the note grew strong, powerful.

  Hands softly slid over her shoulders and down her breasts, making Kate whimper a little and then smile. She felt a soft kiss on her neck, the blanket Vivian had pulled around herself wrapping around the both of them, its warmth cocooning their nakedness.

  “You’re beautiful,” Vivian signed into the silence.

  Kate smiled over her shoulder and took the kiss she was offered, pushing the kiss deeper. When they parted, Vivian made sure the blanket was free of the instrument and wrapped her arms around her again. “Will you play some more?”

  Kate did as she was asked, pulling her bow with relish. Her eyes closed as she played, enjoying everything around her: the music, the body draped over her back, a moment of beauty within a life filled a little too often with sadness.

  She felt herself moved as Vivian let the blanket fall to the floor, her palms gently resting on the cello’s face, drinking in the vibrations. A soft smile began at the corners of Vivian’s lips as Kate deepened the groan, making the cello shake under her fingers. A small smile blossomed on her own lips because, for that one moment, it felt as though she and Vivian were speaking the same language.

  When she was through playing, she softly set the cello down and turned around on her stool, letting Vivian’s serene smile wrap around her.

  Silently, Vivian caressed her cheek. Kate’s eyes drooped closed, feeling the warmth pass through her from the touch. Pulling her to her, she wordlessly let Vivian take her back into the bedroom where she slowly, tenderly made love to her.

  Kate was in the kitchen the next morning, making coffee, Vivian’s hand drawing circles on the small of her back, when Max burst through the front door.

  “Hi!” Max jumped into her arms as soon as he saw her. She smothered him in kisses before smiling at her friend. “Hey, Char.”

  “Hey,” Charlie said slowly, eyes suspiciously taking in her attire, the pajamas she had only just thrown on, and her ratted hair. “Soooooo, how was last night?” Kate knew she was waiting for her to dish and that she would use force if necessary.

  “It was… good,” Vivian said, with an overly innocent smirk.

  Charlie clicked her tongue, letting out a flat “Uh-huh.” After a few moments of the best-friend looks, Vivian smirked and turned to Max, hugging him tightly and giving Kate a quick kiss.

  The kiss, so public in front of her son and Vivian’s best friend, left her a little giddy. “So,” Kate said a bit unsteadily. “Who’s hungry?”

  Charlie narrowed her eyes, turning into Teacher Charlie. “Sign it.”

  She grumbled to the floor and blushed as she signed, very poorly, “Who’s hungry?”

  Vivian laughed and grabbed her chin so she could give her a kiss. “Good job, baby.”

  Kate and Max cooked while Vivian and Charlie sat at the kitchen table, talking lazily.

  “Oh! Have you heard?” Vivian asked the room at large.

  She was settled in as though she belonged there. Kate kept shooting glances her way, enjoying how natural it seemed to have Vivian in her kitchen, sleep still in her eyes and wearing Kate’s own pajamas.

  “About this disaster of a situation with Lyric’s cello section,” Vivian continued. Charlie must have responded behind Kate because Vivian went on. “Well, do you know the Rendells?”

  Kate recognized the names.

  Charlie frowned, picking at a napkin as she thought. “The husband and wife in the cello section, right?”

  “That’s right. Well, it would appear that he has been sleeping with the flute section while married in the cello section.”

  “No! Ew!” Charlie scrunched her nose. “That’s the older dude with the huge bald spot, right? The one that always has food on his shirt?”

  “Right.”

  “Ew.” Charlie scowled in open disgust. “He’s a creep.”

  Vivian signed something fast, her mouth dropping open in shock as she teased her best friend in some way. Charlie let out a loud “Hey!”

  Kate had to laugh at their antics, thoroughly enjoying both of them.

  “Well, I guess now that his wife knows, she might be leaving.”

  Kate spun around; the knife still clutched in her hand, making both women’s eyes widen in surprise and a bit of terror. She laughed a little, her cheeks going red, and apologized.

  Vivian frowned. “I didn’t even bother trying to tell you before because I assumed you already knew. You are a cellist, after all.”

  Kate shrugged, trying to play it cool. “But I’m new to the area. I don’t know anyone but you guys.” She ran her hands through her hair, chewing the inside of her cheek. Kate tried at casual as she leaned against the counter beside her. “So, are they having an audition? Is that – is Lyric… Lyric is having an audition?”

  Knowing eyes flashed to her from under thick eyelashes, and Vivian smirked. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?”

  Lyric Opera of Chicago was one of the best opera companies in the country. More importantly, it was Kate’s dream job. The Metropolitan Opera in New York was wonderful. She had gone
as much as she could when she lived there and she never missed a performance when they broadcast them nationwide, but Lyric was known for its edgy and modern interpretations. It was where she wanted to be. The thing about jobs like Lyric, though, was that once you had them, you didn’t let them go. Often someone had to retire or die for a spot to open up.

  “They don’t know yet. His wife, I can’t remember her name, won’t tell the board officially what her decision is. So there is a tentative audition scheduled for this spring after the season is over, but they just don’t know if they actually need it. Kate, are you okay?”

  Kate blinked a few times. All eyes in the kitchen were on her. “Uh, yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” Rattled, she turned and continued making breakfast as she tried to wrap her head around this news. An audition at Lyric was a big deal. Her stomach squirmed, suddenly a little sick as her fingers twitched with excitement.

  There hadn’t been an opening in the cello section for years.

  The small group ate and then settled on playing a board game, the adults sipping coffee and teasing one another while Max pretended he understood the rules and moved his piece however he wanted to.

  When Charlie finally had to excuse herself to teach a sign lesson before lunch, Vivian sighed and said she should go, too. Max, without a second thought, threw himself on her, wailing, “You can’t go!”

  “Max,” Kate warned, but not too harshly. If she could have thrown herself over Vivian like that without seeming desperate or clingy, she would have done the same. Now that she and Vivian had taken this step, she wasn’t willing to pop their bubble.

  It turned out that it took practically no effort to convince Vivian to stay. She worked from their living room, sending text messages and emails from her phone and Kate’s laptop, Max planted firmly at her side while Kate practiced. When Vivian was done, she pulled Max into her lap before the large instrument and showed him what she had done to “listen” the night before, placing his hands on it and feeling the vibrations. He grinned, utterly in love with the silent world Vivian was showing him.

  Vivian looked up at Kate in just that way, and her bow stuttered. The sultry gaze on her face reminded her of the night before, her hands on her cello, their naked bodies, their lovemaking.

  Kate felt everything in her burn with want and pleasure.

  That night they made dinner together, teasing each other about nothing important, and after putting Max to bed they made love long past the time for sleep.

  The next day Kate was sure that Vivian would leave bright and early, exhausted from two nights of more sex than sleep, but was pleased when instead she helped Max make pancakes. The trio spent the day doing very little, blissfully enjoying just being together, the women sneaking kisses and soft touches when Max was occupied.

  It wasn’t until the third night that their bubble was popped.

  15

  “Just one?” Max yelled, his legs kicking under his covers. They had tried to put him to bed, had been trying for thirty minutes. Max, a little hyper over their company, had gone off book and started a game of chase that neither woman wanted to play. They had only just wrestled the squealing boy into his bed.

  “Hey, what did I just say, kid?” Kate tucked the blankets tighter around him, giving him her best “don’t mess with me” face. “You run around like that, and you lose your reading time.”

  He screwed up his face, as if trying to decide if he was going to scream, kick, or cry. Kate, eyes narrowing, stood with her hands on her hips, ready for whatever he was going to do. A huge tear slipped down his face, and his chin began to wobble, his large eyes going round as saucers and unnaturally green. Kate held her ground, having spent years getting used to the power of that beg; Vivian, however, turned to her, all but pouting herself.

  “Oh, you’re so weak!” Kate cried, wrapping an arm around her waist. “All right, one,” she told him, “if you promise that tomorrow night you go to bed without a fight, buddy.”

  “Promise!”

  “Okay. If you don’t, then I get to make Brussels sprouts every night this week, and you have to eat them!”

  His little face contorted into that of Quasimodo, his disgust shaking him to the core.

  “Deal?”

  “Deal.” He stuck out his little hand for her to shake.

  He squealed with joy as Kate went to the bookshelf, burrowing himself down in his blankets until only his eyes and his mop of hair were visible. “No, you!” he shouted, pointing to Vivian when Kate took a seat at the edge of the bed.

  “Me?” Vivian pointed to herself, surprised, but smiled a little when he nodded.

  “See?” she whispered as she passed Kate. “I told you he likes me best.”

  Kate scoffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we’ll see, lady.”

  Sliding in next to him so he could lie in the crook of her arm, she began to read about superheroes with fluttering capes and treacherous villains. For a moment Max just stared at her, confused, before he reached up and pinched her lips closed in a silent command.

  Vivian didn’t hesitate, instead she propped the book up and slipped into sign with a small smile.

  Half hidden behind them, Kate snapped a picture, saved it immediately to her phone’s background, and texted it to Charlie.

  “Vivian’s reading him a bedtime story.” – K

  The last few days had been amazing. They had been so easy, so honestly pleasing. She was sure that Vivian would have to leave soon, otherwise they would officially be U-hauling, but Kate had to wonder if she really minded that.

  That was the thing about U-hauling; when you were doing it, you didn’t care much that you were.

  Max watched as Vivian’s hands swirled and danced above him, painting a heroic picture as his eyes slowly began to droop. Just as he yawned his last yawn, a little sleepy voice passed through his lips, in more of a sigh than words. “Love you, Mommy. Love you, Viv’n.”

  Vivian looked to Kate, having felt his breath but, unable to see his lips, not knowing what he’d said.

  Kate smiled. “He said he loves you.”

  Vivian’s beautiful face blushed as she processed Max’s words, and then with a soft kiss on his forehead, she whispered, “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

  Kate watched them for a few more moments, a thought passing casually through her mind: If this woman isn’t careful, she’s going to make me fall in love with her.

  That was the other thing about U-hauling: when you were doing it, you didn’t care because it felt so good.

  A current of warmth passed through her chest, along with a streak of darkness. She had never had the best luck when it came to love.

  “He’s asleep.”

  Vivian nodded, trying to covertly wipe away a splash of wet under her eye.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Of course.” Vivian chuckled lightly.

  “What is it?”

  Vivian hesitated, clicking his door closed. Her smile was tentative before, finally, her hand rubbing aimlessly across her stomach, she said, “I’ve never had anyone accept me so completely before. He might be a child, but that is a powerful thing.”

  Kate nodded, catching her around the waist and kissing her long and soft, putting all of her feeling into it. Vivian was smiling when Kate released her and said, “I need a shower.”

  In the bathroom, she slowly washed her hair, deep in thought.

  What did her life look like now that Vivian was in it in this way? Was this how it would be? What would the next weeks and months look like? Her affection for Vivian had surprised her; if she had expected it, she would have kept Max away from her to protect his feelings. Instead, she had gone out to dinner with her and stumbled onto a friend and then more. What would they do when Vivian was gone, leaving them with memories and a valuable skill in a new language?

  Something slammed heavily in the living room, making Kate jump and then chuckle. She understood why Vivian was so damn noisy, but she was a little worried that Max would
never sleep through the night again. When Vivian was paying attention, she was as silent as a cat, but the moment she stopped… well, she had probably just forgotten how many things make noise: the refrigerator door opening, setting down a glass, footsteps.

  Should she try and talk to her about it?

  No, she decided, it made more sense to see how long Vivian would be around first.

  She stepped from the shower still wrapped in her own thoughts, replaying Max’s sleepy confession over and over as she quickly dried her hair and pulled her shirt on. Perhaps she shouldn’t bother to get dressed. How would Vivian react if she emerged from the shower dripping wet and naked? She had just decided to find out when a whisper of voices caught her ears.

  She paused, listening hard. Max was probably up and trying to push the one with less experience to read him another story or even let him stay up. The kid could be smooth when he wanted to be.

  “No!”

  Kate’s heart leapt into her throat at the sudden shout. A series of high squeals and sobs followed, making Kate trip and stumble her way to the door. “Max?”

  Did Vivian know he was upset? Did she know that something was wrong? She couldn’t hear him. She headed toward Max’s room, but twirled around when she heard Vivian yell, loud and strict, “Absolutely not! No! You may not come in!”

  Moving on instinct, she leapt over a set of blocks and froze in the living room, her mouth popping into an O.

  Kate had never seen Vivian’s darkened snarl quite as terrifying as it was now. Her teeth were bared, her eyes vicious as Max clung tightly to her neck, sobbing. Though Ash was mere inches from Vivian’s furious, bloodthirsty face, Vivian’s arm was straight out, blocking her entrance to the apartment.

  “Ash? What the …”

  Ash’s dark eyes turned on her, a snarl much like Vivian’s ripping across her face. “Oh look!” she cried. “There’s the woman of the fuckin’ hour!”

  Vivian turned. She looked like a mama lion with her teeth bared and eyes wild, clutching the whimpering boy as if she would lunge for the throat of anyone who came too close. Maternal instinct was radiating from her; despite the situation, Kate found it passionately sexy and honestly forbidding.