Puck called Mrs. Peck to ask for suggestions. She insisted that all of her friends were busy with regular clients. He shuddered when she suggested sending his baby to daycare with multiple other children.
“They are certified, and you can ask for references.”
Puck knew that she was probably right, but he imagined Addie pushed into a corner and ignored while an overworked staff member tried to calm arguments between older kids. She might grow up scared to talk to anyone. Puck said, “Thank you for the suggestion, and let me know if you hear about anyone.”
The other option was Ross. He said to give him through Sunday to try and figure it out. At 8:00 a.m., Puck couldn’t wait any longer. He found the note with the phone number that read, “Just in case.”
The phone rang five times before a drowsy voice answered, “Hello?”
The phone call was easy until he heard Ross’s voice on the other end. His feelings were even more conflicted than when they parted on Friday. Puck chose to deal with them by shoving them to the back of his mind and focusing on Addie. The voice brought all the confusion back.
“Ross?”
“Yeah, oh man, who is this? It’s really early.”
“It’s Puck.”
There was a long silence on the other end. Puck resisted his urge to hang up and continue looking for other options for care for Addie. When Ross spoke again, he sounded worried. “Puck! I’m awake now. Is Addie okay? What’s going on? Do I need to come over?”
“She’s fine. Relax. I’m still looking for a sitter.”
“At 8:00 a.m.?”
“I’m sorry. Should I call back later?”
Puck heard commotion through the phone. He guessed it was the sounds of getting out of bed in the morning. Ross said, “I think I’ve got that taken care of. I was planning to call you later, but I guess I can tell you what I’ve pieced together now. There’s no need to wait on it.”
“You found someone? Seriously?”
“I did. It’s my friend, Dak. He has a little girl with his husband, Brody, and Dak is a stay-at-home Dad. I asked…”
“Wait, you said his husband?”
“Yep, they’re gay, Puck. I told you that on Friday. You know. It’s two men together. We can get married now.”
Puck grimaced, but he guessed he deserved the snarky tone. He’d already kissed Ross twice and later freaked out about it. He said, “Yeah, no, that’s fine. I just bet there aren’t that many guys like them in Coldbrook Bend. I don’t think I’ve ever met two married guys. I mean two guys married to each other.”
“Honestly, they aren’t that different from other married people. I don’t know about other couples in town. I have another pair of friends who are likely to get married someday. Anyway, Dak’s husband, Brody, is the manager at the Home Pro store out by the highway. They are two great guys. Addie would be in excellent hands.”
Puck rubbed his chin. “Home Pro. I think I’ve met the store manager. When I got married, I took some gifts back to exchange there and talked to him, I think. Is he a tall, slim guy?”
“That would be Brody. I hope he treated you well.”
“Oh, he was great. He even took back a couple of things that didn’t come from his store and gave us cash. Can I meet Dak? I mean, I trust him and all if you do. Still, it doesn’t sound right to just drop my little girl off with someone I’ve never met.”
“Of course. They like to hang out at the Corner Hitch. You might have seen them and didn’t know who they were. I can ask Dak, and maybe Brody will come, too. They can leave Penny with Alan and Diego. Alan’s the guy that was there with me the other day.”
Puck felt something like envy growing inside. He had friends, but Ross had ones that hung out regularly and took care of things for each other. Gil and the guys still acted like they were in high school even though some had kids of their own. Puck asked, “Penny?”
“Dak and Brody’s daughter.”
“Oh, right. And Ross, there’s another thing…”
Ross still sounded sleepy, but he was alert. He asked, “Yeah? What’s on your mind?”
“I wanted to say thank you for everything. You didn’t have to do any of this, and I want to say I’m sorry, too.”
“Sorry?”
“I’ve acted like a total ass around you and freaked out over everything. That’s not like me. It’s never been like me. I’ve been under a lot of stress. It’s a crazy amount of stress, but you know that. I’m really sorry. Can we be friends? Maybe we can start that part over again.”
Ross chuckled softly. “And here I thought I had a stressful life at times. Then I met you. Your life is crazy, Puck. I mean that in a supportive way. It’s okay. I get it. I think you’re handling it better than most would. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Addie has a great dad.”
Puck blushed. It didn’t happen often, but then people rarely gave him compliments about how he handled his life. He said, “Man, thank you. I needed that. I’m glad you were there in the grocery store that day. Who would have known? You were the baby whisperer with the keys.”
“Can I ask a question?”
Puck didn’t know whether he wanted to deal with any questions, but he thought it was only fair to let Ross ask. “Sure, go ahead. Ask, but know that I might not be able to answer. Sometimes my brain blanks out these days, too.”
“Can I take you out to dinner? We could use the occasion as a trial run of Brody and Dak taking care of Addie.”
Puck couldn’t help thinking that he’d just been asked out on a date. It was possible that it was only a friendly gesture, but Ross was the gay man that he kissed.
He felt backed into a corner because saying no would be rude, but he didn’t know if he was ready for something that felt like a date, even if it wasn’t officially a date. On the other hand, he knew that he needed a social life. The house was getting more claustrophobic all the time.
Ross said, “You can think it over if you need to.”
“No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s good. Thank you for asking me. I accept.” Puck hoped Ross was talking about the next weekend or even later. It would give him some more time to think through things.
“Tuesday night or Wednesday? Maybe Wednesday would be great. We could stop by Brody and Dak’s first, and you can bring Addie along if Mrs. Peck can’t watch her.”
Puck’s pulse quickened. Tuesday was only two days away. His hand began to tremble. He needed to get off the phone before he said something stupid or started to get upset. “Yeah, that’s fine. Wednesday. Text later? Addie’s starting to fuss.”
Puck made up the last part, but it was enough to get Ross off the phone. “Hey, thanks for calling, and give that little girl a kiss for me. She’s a sweetheart.”
Puck hung up the phone and looked down at Addie in her bassinet. She was awake, and it looked like she was smiling. Sometimes it was hard to distinguish a smile from struggling with gas. Filled with nervous energy, Puck scooped Addie up and cradled her in the crook of his arm. He walked to the living room window and stared out at the melting snow. Bare patches of lawn were already visible.
“I think I have a date,” whispered Puck. “Life is strange, little girl. I hope your mommy understands.”
He thought about his experiences with Jack in his high school years. They did everything together that summer. They hiked along the railroad tracks, and they went skinny dipping in a pond out behind Jack’s grandparents’ place. Puck had to hang out with his dad on weekends, but he couldn’t wait to see Jack on Monday morning. Maybe it was more of a relationship than Puck dared to remember.
Puck remembered lying in the grass after they climbed out of the pond. He let his eyes trace the outline of Jack’s slim, smooth body, until Jack said, “What are you looking at? Are you a fag or something?”
The abrupt comment made Puck try to change the subject. He said, “I wasn’t looking at you. I was staring into the distance. I was thinking about how much fun this summer is. Maybe we should take our bik
es down by the river. Sometimes I wish I could hitch a ride on one of the barges. I’d take it all the way down to Louisiana.”
“And go to bed with one of those girls down in the red light district, buddy? Bet they could really do things to your dick. Think about it. A woman who’s already screwed a hundred guys working on you.”
Puck lay back in the grass and shielded his eyes from the sun as he gazed up at the clouds. “Damn that would be hot. Wouldn’t it?”
A few days later they lay on Jack’s bed with old Playboy magazines scattered around. “Sure glad my old man kept these.”
They started out touching themselves, but in the end, they helped each other out. Puck came so hard that he gasped for breath. He thought he was going to black out.
Then summer wasn’t even over when Jack had to move. Puck spent the rest of high school chasing girls like the rest of his friends. He wasn’t a virgin on graduation day, but all of his experiences were awkward, and he had a probably with cumming too fast.
Puck met Miranda at the community college, and she was more experienced with sex. She showed Puck how everything worked. She even knew how to slow him down. He remembered her looking down at him when he lay flat on his back, naked, in the middle of the bed in her apartment. It was just two weeks before their courthouse wedding.
“You mean you’ve never played with toys before? We’ve got to go shopping before the wedding.”
Puck said, “I thought we had to buy a toaster and shit like that.”
A gorgeous smile swept over Miranda’s face. She said, “That’s what everybody else buys. We go shopping for us.”
12
Snowballs
Ross knew that Puck would be nervous leaving Addie with Dak and Brody. After all, they were strangers, but it wouldn’t take long to figure out they were great guys. He hoped they felt the same way about Puck.
After shaking hands in greeting, Puck walked into the living room of Dak and Brody’s house and put his hand on the banister of the staircase leading up to the second floor. “Damn, this is huge. Do you own the whole place? And shit…oh man, sorry, I’ve got to watch my language.” He rocked Addie in her carrier while he waited for a response.
Brody smiled. “Frankly, Dak can be worse with the language, and yes, the whole house is ours. It’s the one I grew up in. My mom passed away a few years back, and she left it to us. Actually, she left it to me. We weren’t a couple yet.”
Ross didn’t want the comment to lead to a dark conversation about death and grief, but he hoped that Brody’s mention of his experience with loss would make him even more relatable. He understood how grief worked.
Puck rubbed the banister, and he didn’t know how to respond. Death reared its ugly head in the most unexpected places.
Dak asked, “Do you want something to drink? A beer? Brody’s famous iced tea?”
“A beer would be great. I have to admit I’m a little keyed up. You know, the little girl, and new people. I get a little protective. We’ve not been out a lot yet. This is all new to me. It’s fucking…I mean it’s rough sometimes.”
When Ross nodded to indicate that he wanted a beer, too, Dak excused himself and disappeared into the kitchen while Brody said, “Here, have a seat in the living room.”
“Ross says the two of you have a little girl, too. He said that she’s even crawling. I can’t wait for that.”
“Yes, Penny. Before you go, you can come and take a peek at her, but she’s sleeping upstairs in her bedroom. We put her to bed just before you guys got here. Don’t be in a hurry for the crawling. It’s exhausting. She’s constantly getting into things. You might think your place is baby-proof.”
“And she sleeps all night?”
“All night.” Brody sat in a chair near the end of the couch and offered the seats to Puck and Ross.
The visit with Dak and Brody lasted for nearly an hour. By the time they all peeked around the corner of the bedroom doorway to see Penny sound asleep in her crib, Puck felt relaxed. He hoped he’d made new friends, and Dak was the perfect guy to babysit his little girl. Puck appreciated the no-nonsense approach to life.
Dak said, “Don’t let that sweet little face fool you. She can be a terror.”
Puck and Ross climbed into Ross’s car together for the drive to the restaurant for dinner. Ross said, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you clean up well. You look great tonight.”
“Did I look so bad before? I feel itchy sometimes in nice clothes like it’s not really me.” Puck knew that he looked awful before, but he wanted Ross’s honest opinion.
“No, but you know what I mean. I could see all of the potential before.”
Puck laughed. He knew what Ross meant. The nerves struck hard and fast again as soon as they entered the car without anyone else present.
As he turned down the street just two blocks from the restaurant, Ross asked, “Is it okay if I ask you how you got the name ‘Puck?’ There must be more to it than just a generic comment about hockey. Do you still play?”
“No, the last time I played was my sophomore year in high school. I banged up my ankle pretty bad. It was the same one I hurt in the car accident. I think it’s my weak link. That’s how I knew it was just sprained this time. I didn’t go back to hockey after it healed in high school. I think part of me was worried it could happen again.”
“And they called you ‘Puck?’ Maybe you should save the story for inside the restaurant.”
“No, I’ll tell you if it’s okay for us to sit here for just a few minutes. I think it’s kind of a funny story.”
“Sure. I’m all ears. If we get too cold, I can turn the heat on.”
“It won’t take that long. It’s just that I don’t want to be telling weird personal stories that the people at the next table can hear. Anyway, I was a pretty skinny little guy in junior high. I hit a growth spurt as a freshman in high school, but back then it was easy for me to get pushed around.”
Ross shook his head. “I can’t imagine you letting anyone push you around.”
“I’m not so sure I let them. I used to get in fights on the rink. I guess that’s what you do in hockey, but the coaches didn’t always agree.”
“And Puck?”
“Oh, yeah. During one fight I ended up in the middle. I was shoved back and forth between two guys. They said I was hooking them with my stick. Maybe I was. I don’t remember, but then when a buddy of mine told somebody about it afterward, he said, ‘You were just like the puck out there getting passed back and forth.’ And it stuck.”
Ross asked, “What’s your real name?”
“I don’t tell many people, but you’ll find out sooner or later. It’s Gerald. They called me Jerry before I got tagged with the nickname. I like Puck a lot better. I think it suits me.”
“Jerry’s not a bad name, but yeah, I think you’ll always be Puck to me. It’s tough and strong, just like you.”
Puck grinned. “Let’s go get some food.”
As dinner unwound, Puck grew more interested in Ross. He realized that his dinner partner didn’t have a perfect life either. He was on the run from his hometown, and he was anxious about what life had in store.
Ross surprised Puck when he asked, “Did they really not mean anything?”
Puck put his fork down. He knew what Ross was asking, but he bought some time by asking, “Did what?”
Ross leaned across the table and spoke in a low tone. “You know what I mean. The kisses. I’m not afraid to say I like you, and that’s what they meant to me.”
Puck stared into Ross’s blue eyes. He knew what he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if he could say it. He grabbed his water glass and sipped.
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Do I need to wait until after dinner?”
“It’s not that. It scares me a little. I hate feeling scared.”
“Scares you?” Ross’s forehead furrowed in confusion.
Puck shook his head. “No, I can’t talk about it here.” H
e picked up his fork again and focused on his plate.
As they bundled up to head back out into the cold, Ross reached out to flip up Puck’s parka collar for more warmth. He asked, “Can we walk for a bit? Maybe down by the river? It’s not that cold. At least it’s not for Minnesota.”
“Can I call Dak and Brody first? I’m nervous as hell about Addie. I hope you understand.”
“Sure.” Ross backed up near the coat rack in the entryway of the restaurant and paced around in a circle while Puck punched the numbers into his phone.
“You guys are great,” said Puck. “We should be back soon. I wanted to check. She’s all I’ve got.” As he hung up the phone, he turned his attention to Ross and said, “Thanks for that. You’re such a polite guy. I keep waiting for you to crack and lose it or something. How do you stay that way all the time?”
“I’m from Minnesota.”
“So am I, but I’m not half as nice as you.”
They walked about half a block in the direction of the river, and Ross said, “It feels good to be walking with you. I’m usually the third guy hanging on with Alan and Diego. That’s one reason I like to have Boomer’s leash in my hand.”
“Yeah, it feels good to me, too.”
“So, I’m scary? “
Puck laughed. “It sounds pretty stupid when you say it that way. Doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know. You gave me a good kiss. Twice.”
“But I’ve only dated girls. And there was Miranda. I don’t know how…I mean, hell, that’s been less than three months ago. It’s way fucking too soon for anything.” Puck stopped walking. “Do you know what I mean?”
Ross kicked at a snowbank at the edge of the sidewalk. “I know we get along well, and it’s hard to keep my eyes off you. That’s all I know. I looked forward to having the time one on one at dinner.”
“So did I, but maybe I’m just missing people. I probably shouldn’t have kissed you. If I didn’t do that, we could hang out like my buddies at the bar.”
River Town Box Set Page 38