Inside was a big steak, cooked medium rare, a baked sweet potato, and a big helping of sautéed vegetables. Another bag held several rolls, while yet another held what looked like a container of banana pudding. All my favorites, just the way I liked them. I wanted to throw them across the room. I was furious with myself. I was furious with her, too, though. For what, I didn’t even know.
“Why don’t you just grab her and kiss her? She wants you, too. Why else would she put up with your shit?” Henry knocked his knuckles on the wooden table. “I can’t get over how hurt she looked. If I would’ve ever seen my lady like that… It isn’t right, Mercer. You don’t treat women like that.”
I glared at the old man and shoved the food away from me. “You eat it.”
He stood up and shook his fist at me. “If I were younger, I’d kick your ass right now. Take your food and get out of my house. Don’t come back until you can treat her with a little respect.”
I grabbed my food and walked to the door. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Not if you don’t apologize to her for whatever you did or said. She didn’t do anything to deserve your bad behavior.”
Before I could say or do anything to make myself look even worse, I left. I did limp the entire way back to the cabin, feeling like my body was shutting down on me the whole time. I was exhausted, but the real reason I was moving so slowly towards the cabin was that I assumed Lauren would be inside. I didn’t want to face her after what I’d said.
I’d worried for nothing, though, because by the time I got back, she wasn’t there. Her bag wasn’t there, either. The only thing left of her was a light scent of her perfume.
I blew out a big breath and sank down the wall. In the dark, all alone, I ate my dinner. I felt a heaviness on my chest that wouldn’t quit. Guilt, anxiety, and also anger warred in me. I hated that Lauren was there. It was a constant reminder of what I couldn’t, and never would, have. She’d just always been around, but the last several weeks of being without her had given me a clarity. Being around her when I couldn’t touch her was torture. I just wanted to be alone. I missed her, but it wasn’t as bad as having her in front of me constantly. I needed her to go away so I could get back to just missing her.
If it meant I had to tell her the story about Jessica, then I would. Once she knew everything, maybe she’d see that it was truly hopeless and she could leave.
I heard Lauren heading my way when she was still a quarter-mile up the road. She wasn’t as loud as a normal person would be, but to the trained ear she sounded like a herd of horses coming up the road. I’d already finished my dinner, which was the best meal I’d had in months, and was ready for her when she got to the door.
Instead of coming in right away, she stood at the door and waited for a few more minutes. I didn’t know what she was doing, but it sounded like she was just breathing, taking slow and measured breaths. Getting her courage up to face the monster inside, probably.
When she did open the door, she silently stepped in and closed it behind her. Then, she walked to the wall opposite mine and sat down. In the dark, I could almost ignore her stiff shoulders and the way she didn’t look in my direction.
“I just need to know what happened with Jessica. Tell me the story and some names and I’ll go.” Her voice was quiet, too quiet.
“What are you planning?”
“I’m planning—that’s what matters. No matter how much you call me names and show me how much you dislike me, I’m still going to do my best to make it so that you can come home, if you want. I’m going to clear your name.”
“Lauren—”
“I don’t want to fight with you. I’m tired, Mercer. I just want to hear the story and I’ll go. I’ll be out of your hair.”
“I just—”
“The story, Mercer. Nothing else. We’ve said enough of everything else. I just want the story.”
I balled up a napkin from the floor next to me and hung my head. I didn’t want to tell the story, but I didn’t have a choice. I needed her gone. She wouldn’t be able to do anything with my story, anyway. She’d want to do her best to look into it, but there was nothing to look into.
“Jessica sent me a letter breaking up with me. I was on a tour, but I got away for a weekend. I flew back to the States, found Jessica in her apartment, packing up everything in a big rush. She was shocked to see me, but when I saw how upset she was, I told her I wanted to help with whatever was going on. She admitted that she’d been cheating on me. She wouldn’t tell me who, just that he was a rich and powerful married man that she’d toyed with a little too much. She’d threatened to out him and he’d told her he would bury her so far under the ground that no one would ever find her.
“She wouldn’t tell me anything about him besides that. She was very clearly terrified of him, though. She wanted to run away. I told her I’d help. I knew a guy. I gave her money, directions, and I said goodbye. I flew back and did my best to forget about her. For a while after, Karla, her mom, would call me and ask me where Jessica was, but Jessica was never that close to her parents. I just told them that we’d broken up and I hadn’t heard from her. It was the truth. I figured the guy I knew had set her up with a new identity and that she was using my savings to live it up somewhere.”
“But she wasn’t.” Lauren’s voice was reverent as she spoke. “She was dead and buried, so far under the ground that it took someone over a decade to find her.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”
“Did you check in with your guy to find out if she ever made it to him?”
I cleared my throat. “No.”
“No?” She shifted.
“No.” I saw she was about to question me more and just answered as truthfully as I could. “I was hurt. I didn’t want to think about her any more than I had to. I gave her everything I had. Then, I just closed that part off. I thought she was fine. I was… shocked when the detectives showed up and said they’d found her body.”
Lauren was quiet for a bit, her mind working. When she spoke, she sounded almost robotic. “Did Jessica have close friends? Someone she might’ve told about this other man?”
“I don’t know, honestly. I guess it wasn’t as great of a relationship as I thought it was at the time. She lived alone, but she had a friend over a lot. A blonde girl with weird teeth. She hung out with her cousin, Sara, some. I doubt she would’ve bragged about cheating, though.”
“What’s your guy’s name? The one who could make Jessica disappear?”
“No.”
Her head jerked up. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not giving you his name. He’s dangerous and has a dangerous job. If he’s still around, I’m not going to let you go shoving your nose in his direction.”
She crossed her arms and leaned back. “Mercer. I’m not asking for your permission to do anything.”
I gritted my teeth at her attitude. It always made me want to yank her over my knee. “You are asking me for information, though.”
“I’m going to figure this thing out. That means I have to talk to everyone. I would appreciate the help.”
“You don’t have to talk to everyone and you aren’t going to figure it out. There’s nothing for you to figure out.”
“What’s your plan here, Mercer? If you don’t want a solution to this whole thing, what do you want?” She sighed. “Just to stay here and live out the rest of your life in hiding?”
“Yes.” I didn’t stop to think about the lies I was telling. “I want to be alone.”
“That’s the plan, then?”
“As far as a plan goes, yeah. I’m going to stay here and live the rest of my life like I want to. I’ve wanted this since the accident.”
She stood up and dusted her pants off. “You’re a liar. I’m not going to fight with you anymore, though. It’s too much. I’ve been fighting with you for so many years that I think I got confused about what a relationship is supposed to look like.”
&
nbsp; “We don’t have a relationship.”
“Friendship, then.” She walked towards the door. “I’ve done everything I can for you, except this. I want to do this and then I’ll be done. You can stay here and live alone with your demons, but I have to know that the option for you to come home is there. Not for me, but for the guys.”
“Lauren, there’s nothing for you to do. Just go home.”
“You’re wrong. There’s plenty to do. I’m going to talk to Jessica’s family. Maybe they know something that can point me in the direction of the man she was having an affair with.” She opened the door and stepped out. “I wish I could say it was good to see you, Mercer.”
“You can’t get involved in all of this. It’s too dangerous.”
“Afraid I’ll get hurt?”
I stopped, realizing I was following her out the door, reaching for her arm. I was terrified that she’d get hurt. I wouldn’t admit that, though. Maybe Lauren was finally getting that I couldn’t be who she wanted me to be. I didn’t want to come through and act like I was going to be some knight in shining armor for her. “No. I’m just afraid you’ll make a huge mess with that PI license you somehow got.”
In the moonlight, I could see her smile. It was haunting. “Good luck here.”
I watched her go until I couldn’t see her and then I listened as she stepped on dried leaves and branches along the road. When I couldn’t hear her anymore, I stood in the doorway and gripped its frame, telling myself over and over that I was doing the right thing, setting her free. She deserved to go back to Ambrose and live a happy, normal life.
Another few minutes passed and I swore. She was going to get herself hurt. I couldn’t let her do that. I’d see what she was up to and then decide whether or not she needed my help.
Chapter 10
Lauren
I wasn’t thinking about Mercer. That wasn’t a lie. At all. I was fine. Everything was fine. My chest didn’t ache and I wasn’t so disappointed in him that even my teeth felt heavy with it. Everything. Was. Fine.
I sighed and leaned my head back against the wall behind me. I was in a cheap, piece-of-crap motel in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas. I’d said goodbye to Henry and the happy little town the morning after I said goodbye to Mercer. I’d spent that night researching everything I could about Jessica. A few articles mentioned her family, her remaining relatives, and I jotted down where they were located at the time.
Her mother, Karla, was in the small town of Jones. Finding her address was easy and I had plans to go there the next day. I didn’t know what I’d find there, but I was ready. I wanted the whole witch hunt with Mercer to be over. Even if he never came home, I didn’t want him to not be able to if the mood ever struck.
It was late. I’d driven all day and grabbed dinner from another fast-food restaurant before checking in to one of the worst motels I’d stayed at yet. It didn’t matter, though. The motel could’ve been the nicest ever and I still wouldn’t have cared. I was sad. Mercer not only knew that I had feelings for him; he didn’t give a shit about it. He didn’t want me around.
I fluffed my pillows and groaned. In the big scheme of things, the guy I liked not liking me back was miniscule, but I didn’t just like Mercer. I loved the idiot. I’d loved him for so long. It didn’t matter, though. He didn’t care. He didn’t even like me.
I needed ice cream and wine. I couldn’t have wine and the only place still open in the shithole I was in was a liquor store. It figured. I told myself to just go to bed, that I’d feel better, but I couldn’t. I needed to run, to release some of the negative energy that I’d let build up.
Despite how late it was, I changed into leggings and a T-shirt and laced up my running shoes. I slipped in earbuds and ran out of the motel parking lot. Down the street and through a small park, I ran harder than usual. I ran until I couldn’t catch my breath and I ended up doubling over, puking up the cheeseburger I’d eaten into someone’s yard.
I wiped my mouth and then ran more. By the time I got back to the motel, I was drenched in sweat and my legs felt like jello. I could barely stand, so I ended up sitting on the side of the tub, letting the shower drench me and the bathroom floor. The water never reached a temperature hotter than warm and the heat didn’t work, so I was freezing when I got out. I curled into the bed and didn’t allow myself to think about the sheets and whether or not they were clean.
Morning came too soon, but I was eager to get started on my investigation. I wanted to get to Jessica’s mom’s house early enough that I could catch her before she left, if she had something she was doing that day. I showered again and dressed in jeans and a sweater. The air was extra chilly that morning so I draped a scarf around my neck and forged into the motel’s front office to get coffee.
“No coffee made yet.” The older man behind the counter, the same one who’d been around the night before to check me in, sat up in his chair and frowned at me. “You always go running around in the middle of the night?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows at him. “And if I do?”
“It’s dangerous out there at night. There’s wild animals all over these parts. You want to get grabbed up and eaten by a bobcat?”
“Not particularly.”
“Then don’t do it again. I’m not cleaning out your room for you if you go missing.”
I nodded to the coffee machine and ignored his criticism. “When do you think the coffee will be ready?”
“When someone else comes in and wants it bad enough to make it. Otherwise, there’s a gas station down the road.”
I sighed and nodded. “Thanks.”
I headed out and made a stop at the gas station to grab a large coffee and a couple of doughnuts. I ate in the parking lot and checked my teeth before pulling up the directions I’d jotted down in a note on my phone. Karla’s house didn’t come up with my phone’s GPS, so I was on my own. I’d stared at a map for over an hour the night before, doing my best to match the address of her house to a general location on the map.
It took me an hour, but finally I pulled in behind an old Toyota, in front of a small, red-brick house. 684 Seymore Street had once been a well-loved home. It was clear from looking at it that it had just been neglected recently. Probably in direct correlation to finding out a daughter was dead.
I got out and softly shut my car door, taking my time to look around. In the side yard, a rusted swing sat rotting. An old doghouse sat beside it, an older dog staring out at me, a thick chain around its neck. The grass was tall, despite the colder weather. The walkway was cracked, but I could imagine, at one time, chalk outlining the rules of a hopscotch game.
“Can I help you?”
I looked up at the porch to find a woman staring back at me. I knew from the research I’d done that Karla was only in her early sixties, but in person she looked much older. Probably also the effects of Jessica’s murder.
“Hi. I’m Lauren Dulaney. I was hoping I’d catch you before you ran out to do anything today. I hope it’s not too early, though.” I walked closer and offered the woman a smile.
“Nothing to do on Saturdays around here.” She frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t know you. What can I do for you?”
My stomach soured for a moment. I didn’t want to upset her. “I’m a private investigator. I—”
“It’s about Jessica?” Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. “It’s always about Jessica.”
“Yes, ma’am, and I’m very sorry about that. I’m sorry for your loss.” I shook my head and wrung my fingers together. “No one should be forced to go through what you’re going through.”
She sat down in one of the two peeling rocking chairs on the porch and motioned towards the other one. “Sit. I’ve talked to everyone else. It won’t hurt to say it one more time. Who hired you?”
I sat down and sighed. “To be completely transparent, no one did.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just want to find out what happened.
I’m—”
“Mom?” A man around my age stepped out onto the front porch and gave me a curious look. “Everything okay?”
Karla nodded. “Yes, Pat. Go back in.”
He stared at me for a few more seconds and then recognition flashed in his eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Pat!”
I held out my hand to Karla and forced a smile at Pat. “I’m just here to find out more about what happened.”
“You should talk to your buddy, then. I recognize you from the pictures of him. You’re friends with Mercer Dunn.”
Karla gasped. “Is that true?”
I looked back at her. “Yes, but that’s not—”
She stood up and glared at me. “Get out of here. I don’t want anything to do with that man. He killed my baby!”
I felt terrible as she disintegrated in front of me. “I’m sorry. I’m not here to argue his innocence. I just want to find out what happened.”
“Bullshit. You should go. You’ve upset my mom. She shouldn’t have to be faced with that monster, even through you. He murdered Jessica and let us spend a decade wondering where she was. He’s evil—and so are you for showing up here, like this would be okay.” Pat helped his mother inside and turned back on me. “You should be ashamed of yourself for coming. How could you put her through this to try to clear your friend’s name, who is undoubtedly a murderer? Why else would he have run when they tried to arrest him?”
“I just need to talk to someone who knew Jessica well enough to know about her private life at that time. I have a few questions I need answered. I’m sorry to upset you and your mother, but I didn’t know where else to go.”
“To hell. That’s where you should go.” He spat on the ground next to me and scowled. “I hope they give that bastard the death sentence when they find him.”
A younger version of Karla stepped onto the porch and took Pat’s arm. “Patrick. Go in and help your mother. She’s very upset.”
He stayed where he was and glared at me. “You did this. You’re just as bad as him. He took her away from us and you’re just here making it worse. We can’t handle any more. Just leave us alone.”
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