I winced as he went inside and slammed the door shut. I felt terrible. I hadn’t meant to upset anyone, and I’d been so focused on Mercer that I hadn’t thought through the fact that their family had just found out their daughter had been murdered. Even though she’d been dead for over ten years, it was still fresh to them.
“I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I just wanted to ask a few questions. I’ll go.”
The woman extended her hand to me. “Marley. I’m Karla’s sister. I’m sorry Pat was so aggressive to you. He’s a very nice boy. He’s just very upset. They lost Jessica, and right after, Jessica’s father passed. Everything around here is turned upside down.”
“He passed recently?”
She nodded. “A couple of months ago. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was heartbreak. Knowing that his baby girl was dead just hurt him too much.”
“I’m so sorry. I should never have come.”
“Wait.” She came down the steps and took my arm, the same way she’d taken Pat’s. “Karla and Pat are sure that the police are right in thinking that your friend did it. I don’t know what to think. I remember him.”
“Mercer?”
She walked me towards my car. “Yes. Jessica had had a falling out with her parents. She wasn’t very close with them, but she still talked to me every so often. Mostly when she needed something, but she was just a kid that way. She brought that young man to my house once. She was stopping by to get something and he came in with her. I remember the way he looked at her. All this time later and I still remember the way he looked at her. It’s hard to imagine he would’ve ever hurt a hair on her head.”
I felt like crying. “He would never hurt anyone. He’s a good man. Even when he’s a pain in the ass, he’s still a good man.”
Marley gave me a watery smile. “I don’t know anything anymore. Everything is a mess. My daughter, though, she was closer to Jessica. They hung out and shared all of their gossip. Sara is in Oklahoma now, with her four kids and husband. Maybe she would know more.”
I felt hope. “Can I have her number? I’m sorry to put you in a weird position, but—”
“I’m sorry, honey. It wasn’t just Jessica and Karla who had a falling out. I haven’t talked to my Sara in over four years. I can give you the last number I have, but it doesn’t work anymore.”
I swallowed down a lump in my throat and gave her a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry to show up here and upset everyone and I’m sorry that your family has gone through so much. If I find Sara, do you want me to give you her information?”
She looked back at the house and shook her head. “She doesn’t want to be a part of this. I wouldn’t wish this grief on her. If you find her, just let her know that I’m sorry and that I love her.”
I drove back towards my motel, even more heaviness weighing on me. I wanted to find answers for their family. They deserved to see justice served for Jessica’s death. I just had to find who hurt their loved one and make it right. I could do that.
I’d find Sara and then I’d go from there. Heading out of town, towards a diner I’d seen the day before, I ran through a list in my head of the different programs I could use to find her. Worst-case scenario, I found nothing and had to call in a favor from an old friend. Whatever I couldn’t find, Melanie could. She worked at a police station with officers who weren’t very careful with their passwords or their computers.
I’d figure it out. I had to.
Chapter 11
Lauren
I’d been dreaming of Mercer again. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t right and that it didn’t help me get over him, at all. I couldn’t control it, though. I missed him and it soothed my subconscious to have him show up in my dreams, I guessed. In my dreams, he was just as gruff as ever, but he was gruff in his wanting of me. He wanted hard and intense, driving me crazy with the way he looked at me with yearning in his eyes before trying to consume me.
My dream oddly mixed with reality as I felt a pleasant weight on top of me. Mercer was there, ready to show me how much he wanted me. I could smell him, all around me. I could feel his hands and arms, holding me to the bed.
Holding me to the bed… Urgent fear ripped through my body and I jerked awake. There was someone on top of me, holding me down. I tried to scream but a hand slammed down across my mouth, effectively shutting me up. I thrashed, everything in me panicking and telling me to get away.
The man over me was wearing a ski mask and it was too dark to see any details. He was huge, pressing me into the mattress. Still, through the panic, I could smell Mercer. It threw me off and confused me enough that I couldn’t figure out how to help myself. I needed to run. I had to run. He was everywhere, though. Holding me down and preventing me from using any of my limbs to get free.
Headlights flashed into the room, through my open curtains, and I caught a glimpse of pale eyes. Paler eyes than I’d ever seen on anyone else, other than the one man I couldn’t stop smelling.
Mercer. First, anger flashed through me. I knew instantly that he was trying to teach me some big lesson. It wasn’t the first time he’d tried to by doing something completely stupid. I was pissed that he would scare me like that. It wasn’t okay. Then, like a train, lust came rushing through. It was awful to experience lust in that situation, but I’d just been dreaming of him and there he was. His body was pressed fully against mine, from shoulder to knee. I could feel every inch of him and I’d never felt anything like it.
If he wanted to put himself in the position he had, I would use it against him. I arched my back and rocked my hips into him, torturing myself with a dance that would surely end in nothing but disappointment. Still, when he shifted back in surprise, I got my arm free and grabbed the back of his head. Instead of trying to rip the mask off, I pulled him closer to me and lifted my mouth in a silent plea for him to kiss me. I felt his rock-hard erection stab into my thigh and wiggled against it more. I wasn’t sure if I was still playing a game or just playing myself. I wanted, though. I wanted badly.
The friction his erection caused against my thin pajama shorts was sinful. I dropped my head back in a moan and pulled at his hair. I needed more, but I knew the moment it was coming to a stop. Mercer had finally come to his senses. He didn’t move away as fast as I thought he would. He moved up onto his forearms, making his shaft press into me harder, and swore before moving off the bed.
He swung around to face me while ripping his mask off. “What the actual fuck, Lauren?”
I smiled to myself in the dark room and felt freer than I had in a long time. “Is there a problem?”
“I could’ve been anyone! I could’ve been a—”
“I knew it was you, Merce. Did you think I would just rub against anyone like that?”
Silence met me, but I’d expected it. I rolled over in bed and pulled the covers back over me. My heart was hammering away in my chest, happy to know that Mercer was close by, but I knew that nothing had changed.
“I’m going back to sleep. I’ve got a long drive in the morning. You’re welcome to stay, but if you’re planning on jumping out of bed every time I touch you, you should just stay on the floor.”
“You… I could’ve…” Mercer groaned and I could hear him backing further away. “This is dangerous, Lauren.”
“Scared?” I lightly laughed. “Don’t worry, Merce. I don’t bite.”
“I meant staying in these motels by yourself!” He ground out the words between clenched jaws and I could tell he was wishing he’d strangled me for real while he had the chance. “I got in here so easily. Anyone else could, too.”
“Yeah, like any other navy SEALs who are wanting to break into my room.” I hesitated. “You think that happens often? If so, I might have to start staying in motels alone more often.”
“Fucking hell, Lauren. Stop playing around. I’m being serious. What you’re doing isn’t safe. You could get hurt.”
“Thank goodness I’ll have a big, tough SEAL around to
protect me.”
“Be serious. No SEAL is going to just show up in your room and protect you.”
“You did.”
“I’m not…” He sighed. “That isn’t what this is.”
“Then what is it?” When he didn’t have an answer, he swore and yanked a pillow out from under my head. I sat up and glared at him. “Look, I didn’t come to your cabin in the woods and fuck with your bed. Don’t come to my shitty little Bates Motel room and fuck with mine. If you want to get in, I’d be more than willing to let you.”
“But if I just want a pillow to sleep on the floor with?”
“Good luck with that carpet.”
“You’re not safe, Lauren.”
“If you keep talking, you won’t be either.”
I heard him grabbing something and then the rustling of him making his little pallet on the floor. I wanted to demand he get in the bed, especially after sleeping on the floor for so long, but I knew he wouldn’t do it. Not so soon after I’d basically dry-humped him.
“Are you just here for the night, or are you riding with me tomorrow?”
He sighed. “With.”
I held my pillow to my chest. “You sure? Last I checked you hated me.”
Another big sigh. “I don’t hate you. I’m just… angry.”
I rolled over and leaned over the side of the bed to look down at him. “At me?”
“No… At me.”
It was more than I usually got out of him. “I get that. You’re very frustrating at times.”
“How’d you know it was me?”
I dropped my arm and found his nose with my finger. Tapping on it, I smiled. “You smell like Mercer.”
“That’s crazy.”
“No, it’s true. You smell good. It sticks with you and I recognize your scent. I could find you in a dark room filled with fifty other men.”
“Let’s hope that’s never something you have to do.”
I giggled and patted his cheek. “I don’t know. It sounds kind of fun.”
“Lauren.”
“Mercer.”
“Just go to bed.”
I rolled back over and blew out a deep breath. “I missed you, Mercer.”
He didn’t reply, but I hoped that somewhere, deep down, he missed me, too. We’d always fought, but we’d been there for each other through our hardest times. I had to believe that he didn’t really hate me. We’d even kind of been friends for a while.
As confusing as it was, I was a sucker for him. I was glad he was there, no matter how bad the rejection would hurt later—I needed him close by while I could have him there. I knew that one day he’d bring someone home and I’d die a little inside, but until then, I could pretend like things weren’t doomed between us.
***
“Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t do that!” Mercer’s panicked shout drew my attention from the mirror.
I glared back at him and scowled. “Could you not scream at me like that while I’m driving? Do you want me to crash us and die?”
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to prevent. Are you nuts? Don’t put your eye stuff on while you’re driving! That’s dangerous!”
“I’m going twenty miles per hour on a dirt road that no one else is on. I think we’re going to be fine.” I rolled my eyes at him and then finished putting my mascara on. “Calm down, would you?”
“How am I supposed to calm down when the car is constantly going towards the ditch on the side of the road? You need to pay attention. Do you always drive like this?”
I grabbed my tube of liquid lipstick and glanced back at him again. “Yes—and I haven’t died yet.”
He looked exasperated. “Jesus Christ. Just pull over. I’ll drive.”
“There’s a reason that you’re in the back seat, hiding. Do you think you’ll be able to stay hidden and drive at the same time?”
“I hate this.”
I laughed. “I’m enjoying myself. I found Sara and we’re almost there. I’m a great PI. And now I’m going to be a great-looking PI, too.”
“Are you going to try to seduce her into sharing information? Why do you need makeup for this?”
I put my lipstick on and rubbed my lips together before pursing them and nodding my approval at the color. “I just like looking my best. You know, in case I meet Mr. Perfect.”
He didn’t say anything and when I looked back at him, he was just staring at me with a dark expression.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I shrugged. I was enjoying messing with him. If he knew how I felt about him and he was still as mean to me as he’d been at Henry’s house, then I had nothing to lose by doing whatever I wanted. Nothing was ever going to happen between us. I could relax.
We were just a few miles from Sara’s house. I’d finally found her before going to bed the night before. Before Mercer had shown up. She lived in a little town outside of Lake Eufaula, just off of I-40. I was taking a chance and hoping she’d be there. I didn’t want to call ahead, in case she told me she wasn’t interested in talking to me. Better to apologize after than ask permission before.
“Drop me off at that cluster of trees up ahead. I’ll hide out and wait for you to get back.”
I pulled the car over where he directed me and turned to face him just as he thrust a gun into the front, towards me. I jerked back and frowned. “What’s that for?”
“I won’t be there to protect you.”
“You think this woman is going to try to kill me?”
“You never know. Some of my biggest mistakes were made because I didn’t expect the unexpected.”
I still didn’t take the gun. “Isn’t that the point of the unexpected? How are you supposed to expect it? It’s unexpected.”
“Take the gun.”
“No.”
“Lauren.”
“Mercer.”
“Goddammit, woman. Just take the gun and stop doing that.” He ran his hands through his hair. “You’re driving me fucking crazy.”
“And I’m supposed to believe that you weren’t there already?”
He grabbed my hand and forced the gun into it. “Take it before I shoot myself to get away from you.”
I scowled. “Not funny.”
“Come off it, Lauren.” He climbed out of the car and then was gone that fast.
I blew out a big breath and kept driving towards Sara’s house. I couldn’t help thinking that I could, if I wanted, just not go back to pick him up. I’d be free of him. But everything I’d done was to find him and be with him. It was tempting, though. I could be free. I glanced back at the road and sighed. I’d never be able to do it. I was stuck with him until he decided that he was done with me. Wasn’t that always the case?
Chapter 12
Lauren
Sara’s house was small, to say the least. Set off from a gravel road that was only wide enough for one car at a time, it looked barely big enough to have one room and a bathroom. The siding was wooden and needed to be scraped and repainted. The metal roof was aging poorly and covered in pine needles from the old pine tree hovering over it. The front porch was warm, though, covered in carved pumpkins and toys. It was obvious that a loving family was inside.
As soon as I parked behind the beat-up van and opened my door, I heard children screaming. I winced away from the sound, piercing as it was. It sounded like they were having a blast.
Just like at Karla’s house, before I got up the drive, the front door flew open. Instead of an adult, though, four children ran out. Screaming wildly and chasing each other around the van, and then me, the two girls and two boys were happy to ignore me.
“Hey! I didn’t say you could go outside!” A pretty woman with a rounded belly came waddling out of the house, a horrified expression on her face when she saw that her hoard of children were circling me like a pack of sharks. “Back in the house! Now!”
Like magic, the four of them disappeared back inside, hidden behind their mom. She gave me a s
uspicious look and came down the front steps. “Sorry about them. They don’t know the meaning of the word stranger.”
I laughed and held out my hand to her. “Lauren. You’re Sara?”
She nodded. “If you try to serve me papers right now, I can’t be held responsible for how I act. I’m seven months pregnant and Kent decides that now is a good time to run away with his skinny little girlfriend. Serve me—and you chance your life and limb.”
I held up my hands. “Not here to serve you anything. I promise.”
She sighed. “Thank God. Come on in, then.”
I felt bad for bothering her when she was obviously going through a lot, with almost five kids, to boot. “I can just make it quick out here, if you need. I don’t want to keep you away from your kids.”
“Please—keep me away from my kids.” She climbed the steps and maneuvered around all the toys. “Watch your step.”
I followed her into a messy kitchen, littered with plates and cups. “Did I just miss breakfast?”
She grinned ruefully. “Two days ago. Yesterday and this morning, we all ate cereal in front of the TV.”
“You say it like that’s not normal.”
“Bless you. Unfortunately, it’s not normal around here. Normally, I’m Susie Motherfucking Homemaker. Breakfast and dinner on the table for husband and kids, house cleaned, even when I can’t see the floor because of this belly, sex willingly every single night. I was great.”
“You sound great.”
“Not great enough, apparently. Not as great as Miss Ass The Size Of A Model. She has no kids, a convertible, and an allowance from Daddy still.”
“Is the convertible pink and plastic?”
Sara laughed. “I’m sorry. What is it that you need?”
I frowned. “I’m not sure now is a good time.”
“Just hit me with it. What else can go wrong?”
I sat on one of her barstools and motioned for her to do the same. “It’s about your cousin, Jessica. Has anyone contacted you?”
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