Healer

by Kate Stone

  Packing a quick overnight bag, I headed into the city to the hotel room I booked in the haze of my morning. As soon I was in the room, I took a long, steaming shower, washing away the last twenty hours along with the dirt, sweat, and pollen. Once out of the shower, I dried my hair and worked in a little pomade to style it in a suave but casual look. Breaking from the Watchdog uniform of t-shirt and jeans, I slid on a white button down shirt and fitted navy pants; cuffing the shirt at the elbow. Looking in the mirror, I gave myself a pearly smile. Damn, I clean up good.

  Clementine Café was just a couple buildings down from the hotel, and I was able to enjoy a breezy walk on the way. Picking a table in the patio section of the restaurant, I pulled out my phone to let Eve know I was there.

  Chapter Five – Eve

  I spent Saturday cleaning and disinfecting, manically scrubbing the baseboards and windowsills to get rid of dust and germs. Dad told me to take it easy, that we had time, but I needed to get it done so my mind could be at ease. My father didn’t help matters any when he told me he was determined to work through chemo, no matter how much his doctor advised against it. He also wanted only his deputy, hospital staff, my boss, and me to know about the treatments.

  It was upsetting, but as I continued my endless scrubbing and organizing, the reasoning underneath his decision dawned on me. While he loved his job and was certainly a macho guy who wanted to hold up a tough persona, he was doing his best to hold on to his normal life. His deputy would safeguard him from dangerous calls and anything too physically demanding. Once the house was properly set up for him and I did all the research I needed to do to calm my frightened mind, I would do my best to act normal for him as well. I wouldn’t treat him like he was fragile or anything less than the amazing man he had been my entire life.

  It was nearly 5:30 PM when I remembered my date with Jericho. The moment I remembered, I wanted to cancel but felt so bad about it being short notice; to make matters worse I recalled him saying he would reserve a room for us. I wasn’t sure if I was in the right headspace to act as though I was okay for that long. Then again, maybe a night away would help me calm down and get a fresh outlook.

  I didn’t fuss over my appearance as I usually would for a date with Jericho, instead I just washed my face, tied back my hair, and put on a summer dress. Heading downstairs, I found my dad in the kitchen and placed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m going over to Emily’s. She’s going to grill for the first time.”

  “Make sure she has a fire extinguisher,” he chuckled dryly. “Are you going to be back tonight?”

  “Not sure so don’t wait up. Love ya!”

  The drive to the city was quick but unsettling. I could not resolve my emotions – on the one hand I was excited to spend the night with Jericho, but on the other I was terrified for my dad. How in the hell was I supposed to be calm around Jericho? He was going to see right through me… I decided I would immediately order a shot or two to take the edge off and keep the conversation playful and light—and by all means avoid the topic of my dad.

  Pulling into the hotel parking lot, I found a space next to Jericho’s bike and walked over to the café. Before I could get close, I spotted Jericho on the patio. For a moment, my mind cleared of everything but him. He looked so dashing in his date attire, a look I hadn’t seen on him in a long time. Making my way over to the table, I gave him a smile. “I must be something special to cause you to dress up.”

  He reached across to grab my hand and whispered something quick in Spanish that I couldn’t quite understand before pressing a kiss to it and letting it drop. “How am I supposed to continue to string you along if I don’t spice it up from time to time?”

  “Fair point.” The waiter came over and as soon as he finished talking, I asked for two fingers of mid-shelf bourbon. I could feel Jericho’s eyes on me; I stared down at the menu and pretended not to notice.

  He ordered himself a beer and then an appetizer for the table before the waiter walked away and his attention returned to me. “Long day?” he asked.

  “You could say that,” I shrugged. “Or maybe I’m just in the mood for some bourbon.”

  He put his hands up in defense, “I’m not judging, I promise. Maybe I should have ordered myself one.” There was an air of silence that went on a little too long, I guess he thought I would have had a response to what he said. “You look gorgeous tonight.”

  An eyebrow instinctively shot up, “Please, you put more work into looking the part tonight than I did.”

  “Because I require it,” he winked.

  I gave him a weak smile and sighed a breath of relief when the waiter returned with our drinks. I downed generous gulps of the brown liquor, finding relief in its bitterness and smoky notes. I could feel Jericho’s questioning eyes on me, and I shrugged. “Thirsty.”

  “Right…” he cleared his throat and wiped at his mouth, a nervous habit he had that he thought went unnoticed. “Eve… Have I done something to upset you?”

  I shook my head, “Nothing I can think of.”

  “You seem off tonight.”

  I shrugged, “Weird day. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay, okay… Well, it’s now my job to make you forget all about it.”

  Impossible. I gave my red-carpet smile to him.

  All throughout dinner, he did his best to be witty and charming, and while he typically would have landed the mark with everything he was saying, my mind was elsewhere. The more bourbon entered my blood stream, the guiltier I felt about being out on a date while my dad sat at home alone. By the time I finished the drink and worked on a glass of wine, I was nearly in tears over the invasive thought that this week may be the last week I could spend with my dad before he was horribly sick all the time.

  I did my best to maintain composure, act like I was having a good time, but I could see the worry in Jericho’s eyes and it was starting to hurt just as much as thoughts about my dad. The deeper I sank into myself, the more aware I was that everything was about to change. I wouldn’t be able to keep up the relationship with Jericho without him knowing about my dad. I could act like I was okay, but I couldn’t act like myself when I wasn’t, and there was no way I could keep up this act for however long my dad battled the horrible disease. It was taking every bit of fight I had in my body to maintain a neutral expression instead of bursting into tears.

  When he pulled out a cigarette something in me couldn’t hold onto sanity any longer. As soon as it was between his lips, I snatched it away and snapped it in half before dropping the halves into his beer. “Disgusting habit. I have to go.” Standing from the chair, I wobbled a bit but moved toward the patio gate.

  “Go where?”

  “Home.”

  “You can’t drive, Eve,” Jericho insisted, grabbing my arm.

  “I can too.”

  “You’ve had a glass of bourbon and a glass and a half of wine. Do you really want to drive into town and risk your dad finding out?”

  The mention of my dad made me lose it, I knew the tears were coming. In an act of desperation, I grabbed his face and planted a firm kiss to his lips. After a moment, he pulled back and eyed me like I was crazy. When I kissed him again, softer that time, he kissed me back and held me in his arms. With every movement of our lips, I felt the pain draining from my body. “We should probably finish our meal,” he whispered to me, his fingers caressing my cheek.

  “Let’s go to the room.”

  I knew I was being insane in that moment, but I didn’t care. I needed a distraction and a way to keep what was between Jericho and me going for as long as I could. He didn’t argue, simply putting money on the table and then wrapping a protective arm around me to guide me back to the room.

  The moment we were in the elevator at the hotel, I attacked him with kisses. One of his hands cradled the back of my head as the other drifted to my waist. I pressed against him as my tongue slipped between his lips. Jericho leaned back against the wall
of the elevator, moaning lightly. Once the door dinged, we stumbled down the hall, Jericho holding me against the door as he fumbled with the key card. Once the door swung open, I was kicking off my shoes and tugging at his belt.

  “Wait, Eve,” he breathed, prying me back. “I know you don’t want to talk about what’s going on—” I pushed him down to sit on the bed and kneeled down in front of him, unbuttoning his shirt. “I just want to remind you, you can tell me anything… I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

  “I do,” I assured him. “As I’ve told you, this isn’t something I want to talk about. Didn’t you say it was your job tonight to make me forget about it?”

  “Well, that—” His words were cut off by a moan as my lips formed around the head of his cock. My tongue swirled in perfect circles around the tip before taking more of him into my mouth. My actions didn’t take much thought, which worked in my favor since I was zeroed in on the sound of his breathing.

  It wasn’t long until he was pulling me up onto the bed with him. I attacked his face with kisses and he returned them. His hand crept up my leg before slipping into my panties, pressing two fingers into me. My hips slowly dragged along with the movement of his hand, and I sucked on his bottom lip as his thumb stroked my clit. There had always been something special knowing neither of us had ever been with anyone else and knowing exactly what the other liked.

  In a heated frenzy, we ripped our clothes off, getting naked in perhaps record time. I pulled him on top of me, sucking on his neck as he wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed into me. And there it was, everything finally melted away into the background. My body curved into him, letting out a near cry of pleasure as he thrust into me. My body lit with passion and desire, unable to get enough of him even with him covering me.

  Our bodies moved in tandem, hands exploring one another as our tongues danced around each other’s. He wrestled us underneath the covers, pulling the blankets over our heads to heighten the sensation of closeness. I rolled onto my side and he laid behind me, hiking my hip up to provide the angle he needed. As he thrust into me, slow but deep, I reached behind me to clutch his hair. Jericho sucked on my neck and returned his hand between my legs, rubbing my bud with care.

  I pushed back into each of his movements, moaning for him to go harder. He moved me onto my stomach and pounded into me, fucking me the way I needed. I came again and again, biting down on the pillow so not to scream. Jericho never slowed, continuing to rub me and thrust into me until my entire body convulsed. He slipped out of me and I felt his tongue lapping up evidence of my climax. I was dizzy with pleasure, feeling my body reaching yet another peak.

  Suddenly, it was morning. I awoke in a daze, everything from the night before coming back in waves as I looked around the room and noticed Jericho lying next to me. I should have been smiling, I should have wanted to crawl over to him and cuddle just a little while longer. I didn’t, though. Fooling around in the sheets had been the distraction I needed to stay with him, but my behavior leading up to that was proof enough for me that I needed to get distance. Perhaps once my dad and I established a routine with his treatments, I would have the mentality to compartmentalize Jericho and my dad. For the time being, it was out of the question.

  Standing from the bed, I shimmied on my panties and dress. “Morning,” he croaked from the bed. “Lay back down. I’ll get us some breakfast here in just a bit.”

  “I have to go,” I stated plainly. “Thank you for last night. I needed it.”

  He sat up in the bed. “What, why do you have to go? It’s Sunday.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact I have to go, Jericho.”

  Then, he was standing behind me as I put on my shoes. “Eve…” he breathed. “I don’t want to pry but I feel like I need to know at this point what in the hell is going on. You were acting weird last night, demanding sex, and now you can’t even stay for breakfast? I feel like I did something wrong.”

  “If you had done something wrong, I wouldn’t have demanded the sex,” I sighed. Running my hands through my hair, I shook my head. “I can’t talk about it, I’m sorry. For now, please, give me space.”

  “How much space do you need?”

  “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk or hangout again.”

  “So, you want a break…?”

  “If that’s what you want to call it, sure.” He was silent and I could tell he was hurting, but I couldn’t explain why I was upset, my dad didn’t want anyone else to know. I moved to kiss him but he turned his head, so I kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. My heart was heavier than it had been all weekend. As I closed the door, I could only hope that in time he would understand my decision.

  Chapter Six – Jericho

  Two Weeks Later

  The days were blending together, every day consumed by trying to understand why Eve wasn’t talking to me. It was torturous to not understand what had changed for her that day to make her feel like she needed a break from me. What in the hell did that mean? I was going crazy, constantly drafting texts to her or pulling up her contact to call her before putting my phone away. I didn’t want to crowd her or do anything to upset her further.

  After a decade of the forbidden relationship, I had mastered my ability to hold a calm presence when around the Watchdogs. I continued to function as a background character in the club, James and Wade handling logistics and organizing, Brian and Clyde remaining half-drunk at the clubhouse, Cellie holding up the bar to serve the few allies that drifted in and out, and the rest of us handling the small details.

  James had figured out the best way to continue to move product under the radar. He recruited a couple regulars we had in the city to help move the product, having some on staff for landscaping and one in the Outlook Diner. That way a member of the Lopez family could bring the delivery into work, the diner employee would then make a bogus supply run to the city where he would distribute to the few customers we had there. He would also meet up with the landscaping employees who would then do minor lawncare at the houses of the people in county and leave it in a fake rock where the resident would leave money. It was such a smooth process that it flew perfectly under the radar. The police were beginning their investigation and having the recruits helping operate that side of our business gave us the time to keep up the façade that we were merely a humble landscaping business that were also motorcycle enthusiasts.

  The hours of silence kept me locked inside my head. I would be mowing or weeding a flower bed and mentally spiral over Eve, worrying that our last night together would be the last time I ever saw her. The thought alone left my chest hollow and my head heavy. The only way to combat the endless loop of worry was by blasting music in my headphones, something which regularly got me in trouble with the other guys.

  At the end of a long day, still covered in sweat and soil, I had to stop by the grocery store to pick up some supplies for my abuela. I strolled up and down the aisles, tossing things into the cart without much thought. I had been doing my grandma’s shopping since I was in high school and she always got the same things. The only thing on my mind by that point was getting home, standing in the shower until the water ran cold, and crawling into bed. More often than not I had been lying in bed for hours just staring at the ceiling and praying sleep would come to mend my pain.

  As I started down the rows of the produce section, a head of blonde hair caught my eye. At first, I told myself not to look, having gotten my hopes up at every blonde I had seen in the past two weeks and none of them had been Eve. As I turned to grab onions, I made eye contact with her from over the display. It was Eve. My heart leapt into my throat, and I swallowed it down as I weighed my options. We had a rule about seeing each other in town, we had to act like the other didn’t exist. I couldn’t help myself.

  I rounded the display, grabbing random produce as I stood next to her. I kept my voice low enough for only her to hear, “Eve, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m
sorry for, but I just don’t understand why we can’t see each other—”

  “Sorry, do I know you?” she asked almost sincerely. Her words shoved a spear right through my heart.

  “I can’t cope without understanding why you need a break from me. If we can just talk—” She glared hard at me, her eyes speaking for her to say she was growing increasingly angry with my decision to break our agreement. I put my hand over hers when she reached for the garlic, “Can we talk, please? For just five minutes.”

  Eve withdrew her hand, and spoke in a low whisper, “What in the hell do you think you’re doing? I know every person in this store.” Her eyes raised to mine. “I want nothing to do with you. I have more important things to worry about than a fling that will never go anywhere.”

  Before my brain could process her words, she turned around and began to march away from me. Abandoning my cart, I hurried after her, “What do you mean you want nothing to do with me, huh? What in the hell did I do, Eve? You’re making me mental.”

  “Stop following me,” she demanded, hurrying down another aisle.

  “Why? Afraid the people of town will see? Why does that affect you, huh? How would it have ever affected you? It’s me that’ll get terrorized by your dad’s goons and maybe even arrested for something bogus. I’m willing to talk, you should be willing to talk.”

  Eve turned to me once more and spoke firmly, like a parent speaking to a child. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, Jericho. I never said it was something you’ve done. I have more going on in my life than you can understand, and I can’t waste any more time on a relationship that I have to sneak around to be in. Not that I need a relationship right now but if I did, it would need to be with someone who could really be there for me. Tears brimmed her blue eyes and she looked at the ground, “I’m sorry. I have to go.”