Healer

by Kate Stone

  I stood there, unable to hear the noises of the grocery store around me over the slow, sharp rhythm of my heart thumping in my chest. Abandoning my cart, I headed outside and sat down on my bike. Nothing she said was sinking in because I couldn’t accept it. Eve was the only girl I had ever liked, loved, or slept with. I was still just as in love with her as I was in high school. I didn’t know how our story was supposed to end, but I knew it wasn’t that way. It wasn’t with her shutting me out and telling me to fuck off. How could she do that if she didn’t hate me? I hadn’t done anything wrong; she would have cussed me out if that had been the case.

  If she couldn’t handle our relationship being a secret anymore, then so be it. Revving the engine, I headed out of the parking lot and down a few backroads. Parking down the way in a quiet neighborhood nestled just out of the heart of town, I sat and waited. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I figured it would come to me when the time came.

  It felt like ages but moments at the same time before I saw her car pull onto the street. Hopping off my bike, I stepped onto the sidewalk and paced toward her. Eve didn’t seem to notice me as she grabbed her few bags and headed into the house. I quickened my pace and caught her front door just as she passed through it. She looked back and her face etched into a look of horror.

  “You don’t want to hide what we have anymore then fine. I won’t hide it. I won’t hide it from anyone, including your dad.”

  “You have to leave,” Eve insisted, putting a hand on my chest.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I said with a shake of my head. I knew I was crazy but that didn’t matter to me, being with Eve was all that mattered. I moved passed her, calling into the house, “Sheriff Griswold! It’s Jericho Jimenez. I need to have a word with you.” Eve tried to grab my arm, but I escaped her touch.

  Going down the hallway and turning the corner into the living room, I stopped in my tracks. The fire which had ignited in my spirit and drove me to show up at their house, was immediately extinguished when I saw a man that did not resemble the Sheriff Griswold I had known my entire life.

  A late middle-aged man was propped up on the couch that had been made up as a bed. There was no color to his face except the dark circles around his eyes. He looked clammy and frail, despite his massive size. It was Sheriff Griswold… but something was wrong. “What in God’s name are you doing here?” he asked in a gruff voice. “Get the hell out of here before I arrest you for trespassing.”

  I could only blink, still studying the scene before me. A waste basket by his side and side table filled with pill bottles. The energy in the room told me it wasn’t just the flu, either. Slowly, I pivoted to address Eve. “What happened?” my voice was tender and concerned.

  “That is none of your business!” the sheriff exclaimed from the couch.

  Eve’s eyes were bouncing between the two of us. I could tell she wasn’t sure what to do, her allegiance suddenly splintered since I was brave enough to come into their house—since I was willing to risk everything just to have her in my life. When she couldn’t bring herself to answer, I paced over to Sheriff Griswold and kneeled next to the couch to show respect. I didn’t want to tower over an ill man. “Sheriff, this may come quite a shock to you—but I love your daughter. I’ve been in love with her since we were kids. I know she loves me too, she’s just afraid to say it because she’s afraid of your wrath. Not on her, she’s smart enough to know you love her, it is me your wrath would be unleashed on. I know you love your daughter enough to lock up a thug like me just to keep me away from her. Feel how you want about the Watchdogs, Mr. Griswold, but I’m an honest man. I’m an honest man who came here to tell you the truth because I care for your daughter so passionately that I can’t cope with the thought of losing her. And whatever is going on with you, I swear on my life I will keep it to myself and find every way to help.”

  I was surprised by how long he allowed me to talk, not once interrupting to tell me to be quiet and get out. I knew I had rambled too long, but I wanted to get out every main point I thought could be detrimental to his decision on what to do next. He eyed me with heavy suspicion, his gaze never wavering he spoke, “Eve, is this true? Do you have feelings for this… guy.”

  In that hesitation had been the urge to call me a thug, a bastard, a vagrant. I peered over to Eve to see how she was holding up. She was close to tears and rooted in place. She eventually brought herself to nod and I looked back to Griswold. He was silent as well. A new wave of anxiety crashed over me, because there was no telling what he would do. “Give me one good reason I should trust you or anything you say.”

  Without missing a beat, I squared my shoulders and spoke bluntly, “Because you raised a daughter with immaculate character and a good head on her shoulders and she trusts me.”

  He murmured, “Good answer, kiss ass.” He rubbed his forehead as if it would give him a clear answer. “Considering you’ve somehow bewitched my daughter and apparently are willing to risk prison just to have me know… I’ll give you a shot. Just know if I find out you hurt my daughter or tell anyone what’s going on with me, I have ways to get you locked up for five to ten and it goes without saying that I’ll do it. Gladly. Happily. Joyfully.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept my composure. “I want you to know, I want to help you. I know how much Eve loves you and I don’t want to see anyone suffer, including you, Mr. Griswold.”

  “Leave me be,” he said, giving a wave of his hand. “Before I change my mind.”

  Standing, I left the living room and found my way to the kitchen. My eyes couldn’t help but take everything in, having never seen the house Eve grew up in before. It dawned on me then that she hadn’t seen mine either. Eve was the person I felt closest with in the entire world, yet there were big parts of our lives that the other didn’t know. Had I even ever given her home life much thought other than my grudge against her dad? I leaned against the counter as she came in and began unpacking her bags.

  “I can’t believe you did that…”

  “I had to. You locked me out and were about to push me away for good. All without explanation.”

  “Maybe because I don’t have to share every detail of my life with you,” she said bitterly as she threw her produce into countertop baskets.

  Moving toward her, I gently wrapped an arm around her hips, “Why are you so upset? We have his blessing.”

  “I wouldn’t call whatever that was a blessing,” Eve scoffed. “All he agreed to was not to kill you.”

  “I would call that improvement.” I kissed the top of her head and she gave me a side eye. “Come on, Eve. I know it was wrong of me to act without your permission. Forgive me and let me in…” I paused and studied her. “What does he have?”

  She was biting her lip and keeping her hands busy, going so far as to front-face the cans in the pantry as she stocked up. “Lung cancer,” she finally whispered. “It’s in his lower right lung and starting to spread. He just had his first chemotherapy treatment yesterday. We got home and he couldn’t even make it up the stairs. He said walking was making him nauseous... That’s why I set him up on the couch.”

  Reaching for her hands, I made her stop her frantic organizing and brought her into my arms. She curled into me and let out a cry with a force that told me she had been holding it in for quite some time. I didn’t have to ask to understand she must have gotten the news before the date we went on, which was why she was acting weird and why she broke my cigarette in half. I don’t even know why I had tried to smoke. It wasn’t like I smoked all the time or even outside of long nights on a run, but I guess my nerves got the best of me that day, unsure how to handle Eve’s fragile exterior.

  We stood there for a long time. I kept her clutched in my arms as she cried, wanting to make sure she didn’t doubt for a second that I had her. If she needed me to hold her for hours, I would have without hesitation or protest. All that mattered to me was that she was okay. I would carry her p
ain and let go of any hatred I had for her father to be there for her the way she needed me to be. The words she had spoke in the grocery store rang through my ears. Everything made sense now, and my only hope then was that she would let me stay around to prove that I could make things work. Sure, just because her dad knew didn’t mean that our problems were solved. But it was certainly a big hurdle that we had behind us.

  Chapter Seven – Eve

  After I excused myself to wash my face and collect myself, I returned to cook dinner for everyone. Jericho stayed by my side, instinctively knowing not to press his luck with my dad. “I’ve never had your cooking before,” he spoke from behind me. I didn’t have to turn to know he was smiling.

  “Mhm. I don’t want any fussing because at least I can cook.” He had often shared the fact that his grandmother and mother did all the cooking. As far as I knew, he had never so much as lifted a spatula.

  “There will be no complaints from me. Promise.”

  I made chicken and rice, being careful not to over season it until I pulled my dad’s portion out of the mix. Setting his to the side to cool, I then added red peppers, mushrooms, and a heavy dose of seasoning to the rest of the pan for Jericho and myself. Cooking a meal for both my dad and Jericho was something I truly never thought possible. The rapidness that Jericho had made it a reality had left me disoriented and unsure how to feel about much of anything. I figured it best to just go through the motions.

  Carrying my dad’s bowl into him on a dinner tray, I helped him prop up into a sitting position before putting it in his lap. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmured.

  “Absolutely. Once you finish with it, I’ll make you some ginger tea if you need me to.”

  He nodded and picked up his spoon. Going back to the kitchen, I watched as Jericho carried both of our bowls over to the dinner table. I got us each a glass of water and joined him. We ate in remote silence, the only noise surrounding us was the silverware hitting against the ceramic dinnerware. Neither of us spoke throughout the meal, though there wasn’t exactly tension. I think we were both lost in our thoughts and found the silence relieving.

  When I finished my meal, I placed my bowl in the sink before going to fetch my dad’s. It broke my heart to see he hadn’t even eaten half his small portion, but he stated he couldn’t eat anymore. Returning to the kitchen, I was surprised to find Jericho at the sink, washing the dishes. I wasn’t about to protest or stop him, I was happy to have the help with my least favorite chore of all. I scooped the leftovers of dad’s meal into a container and placed it in the fridge and making a mental note to be sure to serve it to him the next day for lunch. It would take pressure off my day since I would be spending the majority of it preparing meals for the entire week to come.

  I went into the living room and sat in one of the armchairs to join my dad in watching television. Soon, Jericho joined us and sat in the chair next to me. We all kept our eyes on the show; but once Jericho dared to reach over and hold my hand as he watched, I could feel my dad’s focus laser in on us. I didn’t look his way, I didn’t want to see the look on his face. I wasn’t sure if he would be disappointed, upset, or simply confused. Any way it was, I didn’t want to find out.

  Even though I knew Jericho had been in the right to take action and tell my dad, it didn’t mean I was having an easy time accepting it. I wanted to be with him and I wanted my dad to be okay with it, but there had been no time for me to prepare myself for the awkward conversations that were bound to come. Jericho didn’t understand the dynamic my father and I had because he had never asked. I was afraid to throw off the balance. The fact that Jericho had forced all our hands wasn’t setting well with me.

  Around the time the next show was starting, movement off to the side caught my eye. Glancing over, I saw my father shuffling in his spot with a look of discomfort all over his face. It didn’t take a psychic or a genius to understand that the couch was starting to make him sore after twenty-four hours. “Dad, do you want to move to your bed?” I asked cautiously.

  “I’m fine,” he grumbled, crossing his arms to stop his stirring.

  “You’re not comfortable. If you’re going to rest properly, you need to be comfortable. Let’s just get you up to your bed.”

  “I’ll be all right here for another night. It won’t kill me.”

  Jericho went over to my dad and extended a hand. Their eyes met and I could see a look of embarrassment flash over my dad’s face, but Jericho kept a flat, peaceful expression. He nodded toward the stairs, “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  Surprising us all, my dad accepted Jericho’s hand. Helping him from the couch, Jericho then wrapped an arm around my dad’s ribs and helped keep him steady as they walked. My heart swelled, and I quickly collected my dad’s medications and water before following behind them.

  “They say it’s only this rough for the first couple days after treatment,” my dad explained to Jericho.

  “Don’t worry, I know you’ll kick my ass later this week.”

  “Put money on that, wise guy.”

  “Maybe by the end of this we’ll be friends.”

  “Don’t be stupid. I trust you about as far as I could throw you right now.”

  “That’s a little trust. More than what I thought you’d have.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  Jericho helped him all the way up the stairs and across the hall into his bedroom. Once I stocked his nightstand, I helped tuck my dad in.

  “I’m a grown man, Evie,” he tried to protest.

  “Don’t go acting all macho just because Jericho is here.” Once he was settled in, Jericho and I made our way to the door. “Good night, dad. Just call if you need anything.”

  “Love you, Evie.”

  “Love you.”

  When the door closed, I nodded for Jericho to follow me. We stepped into my room, which was spotless after my fanatic cleaning the past couple weeks. I sat down on the bed, but Jericho paced around. He inspected the pictures on the wall and scattered on top of my dresser. Even though it was my childhood bedroom, the only bedroom I had ever known, I had redecorated it often to keep up with my own taste and interest. The walls were a calming blue, the furniture was all the same whitewashed wood, and all the fabric in the room was stone gray. It was my own little corner of the world, a place I could escape to and find the time to breathe.

  Once he had finished his inspection, Jericho joined me on the bed. He sat cross-legged and reached over to hold my hands. “So,” I began, “I need to go over some things. Firstly, I’m sorry that I shut you out. I didn’t know what else to do because you know that the Watchdogs can’t find out about my dad… it would complicate things in town and that’s the last thing any of us need right now. I honestly didn’t see this being an option, you finding out about my dad. Maybe that was shortsighted of me, I don’t know, but the point I’m trying to get to is this: as of right now, I’m always going to choose my dad first. Always. I’m all he has and I’m never going to abandon him. I’m sorry if that maybe feels unfair, but it’s the way it’s going to be for now.”

  His thumbs rubbed into the back of my hand. “That’s okay, Eve. We both have our priorities, that’s how it is. I’m going to be here for the both of you as much as I can. Maybe I can start staying here for the days following his treatments so I can help him get around and help you with anything you need. What will always come first though, is the Watchdogs. I know we’ve never talked much about them because of the obvious reasons but—” he had to clear his throat, becoming emotional, “Those guys can drive me crazy, but they are family. We take care of each other and you know I wouldn’t be able to find work outside of the club. So… even if I’m over here and they call, I’ll have to go. If my mom or abuela calls, I’ll have to go. Beyond that, if you need me, I’ll be here.”

  I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him close. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that he was willing to put all differences aside
not to only be there for me, but my dad as well. Granted, I knew Jericho was a kind and gentle person and would never wish illness on even his worst enemy; so maybe I shouldn’t be so shocked. It was the history between the police force and the Watchdogs that left more than a little room for doubt.

  We eventually decided to lay down. We stayed clothed and on top of the covers, cuddling and enjoying one another’s company. It dawned on me that this was the first time we were laying together in one of our own beds. We had been in love for so long, most couples would have experienced these things much sooner than we did. It was weird and maybe a little bittersweet, but I was thankful to finally make such memories with him.

  As we lay there, I wondered how Jericho’s family would feel about me. Would they accept me, or hold me accountable for not only the potential misdeeds my dad may have committed over the years, but the entire police force? Would I be a symbol of their enemy instead of a token of peace? I had never given it much thought since before today, we never thought it possible to move past our sneaking around phase. Then, while lying in bed with him, my thoughts weren’t on my ill father for just a little while, and instead I thought about the future I could have with Jericho. It was the mental break I had desperately needed for weeks.

  Chapter Eight – Jericho

  A Week Later

  I was light once again, freed from the prison of my own thoughts and returned to living in the moment. I moved through my new routine with ease, not questioning any orders handed down by James and breezing through the strenuous days of lawncare. It was the heat of the summer and everyone on the crew was miserable, but I wore a smile on my face every time Eve came to mind—which was a lot. We had spent more time together in the past week than we had in the last few months. She had even cleared out a drawer in her dresser for me when I stayed to help with her dad. This week I had stayed for three days.