by Wood, Lauren
This was not the funny, determined woman I had hired, but I decided to let it go. I expected there to be an adjustment period. I also tried not to notice her breasts bursting through her button-up blouse that was covered in stains.
I knew I should just carry on to my study. I still had several memos to send out before I could call it a night, but something pulled me in to taking the seat across from her at the counter, helping myself to a glass of the wine.
“Want to talk about it?”
“We’ll be fine,” she insisted, refilling her glass to the brim. “They’re getting used to me…I think.”
I admired the way her frazzled hair fell into her face, remembering how I felt after my first few days being on my own with the kids. As much as I wanted to be hard on her, I figured I’d save it for another day. Surely things would go more smoothly once everyone had time to get used to this new arrangement.
“They made it to all of their appointments, I take it?”
“Oh yes,” she groaned sarcastically. “Tutors, gymnastics, piano teachers and all.”
I swallowed down a big gulp from my glass, trying to ignore her attitude. Who did this girl think she was, talking to her boss that way?
She leaned over the counter, bringing my attention back to her chest. I did my best not to gawk or let my mind travel to fantasies about providing some stress relief to the hot nanny after a long day. But my body surged with lust anyway, beyond my control. It must have been way too long since I had last had sex, because I hadn’t felt this way since I was a teenager.
“You’re staring, Mr. Halstead,” she announced coyly, bringing me back to rapt attention.
“Forgive me,” I cleared my throat. “It's been a long day. I spaced out.”
Her brows twitched as she studied me, hinting that she could see straight through my excuse. But she definitely didn’t recoil. If anything, her eyes lit up with possibilities. Between the wine and her exhaustion, maybe she was thinking the same thing as me.
“Hm. Try spacing out about six inches this way,” she pointed to her face with a smile.
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I shook my head, feeling embarrassed.
If this were any other woman, I’d be a lot less apologetic. I’d stare harder, throw out my best lines, pour more wine until we were happily making out in every corner of the kitchen until we finally made it to the bedroom. But I was not about to be the sad widower who slept with his nanny, no matter how appealing her bottom lip was as her tongue slid across it.
Her eyes were locked on me too, but with a daring sort of look. Like she was begging me to make a move, and I didn’t know if it was so she could chastise me for it, or if she’d happily take on any advances.
Neither of us noticed Kelsey standing there watching us uncomfortably until she finally spoke up. “I will tend to the laundry,” she announced. “I’ll come back once you two are…in bed.”
Tara laughed as she stormed out. “We scared her off. I don’t think she likes me much.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” I eyed the mess over her shoulder.
We chuckled for a few moments, but it trailed off into an awkward silence. I wasn’t sure if she felt the tension the same way I did or not, but she let out a deep sigh, making me wonder if she did.
“I forgot how exhausting kids could be,” she lamented, but her face melted into a smile as she stared off in thought. “They’re cute though. The twins are a handful. They’re still in that phase of trying to stick everything up their noses or mouths. And Bailey…phew. She’s sassy and determined to make sure everyone knows it.”
“She’s just like…” Anna’s face flashed through my mind, but I swallowed down my words. I didn’t want to talk about her right now, and especially not with Tara.
“Why is she in tutoring, anyway?” she asked carefully. “It’s summer vacation.”
“No such thing as summer vacation when you’re aiming for an ivy league school.”
“But…she’s eight,” she scoffed in disbelief.
“I realize people may think everything gets handed to you on a silver platter in a family like ours…”
“Doesn’t it?” A cheeky grin curled along her lips.
“We may have an advantage, sure. Like the ability to afford the ivy league school in the first place and acquire the necessary recommendations that actually carry some weight,” I explained patiently. “But all of that means nothing if we don’t put in the hard work to back it up. At least, that’s how I see it. My two younger brothers may see it differently.”
I could tell she had more snide remarks but was holding them back. I half wanted her to just let me have it. If I couldn’t make any moves on her, I’d settle for some flirtatious banter. I had a feeling she could hold her own. But instead she grew tense and serious. I could see something bubbling up on the tip of her tongue.
“Something on your mind?”
She was quiet for a moment. “What did you tell the kids about their mother? If you don’t mind me asking.”
My chest tightened and any softness I had been feeling towards Tara vanished. “I do mind. Quite a bit actually.”
“I know it has to be hard for you to talk about it, but Bailey said something today that…”
“No, you don’t know anything about it actually,” I clinked my empty glass down hard on the counter and was glad the stem of it didn’t shatter. “If the kids have questions about their mom, you send them to me.” I stood up and buttoned my suit jacket. “Got it? Any questions?”
“Yes, actually. When should I send them to you exactly? Should I wake them up an hour earlier in the mornings or keep them up past their bedtime to talk to you?”
“Do you have a problem, Tara?” My jaw clenched with anger. “Because I can easily find a nanny ten times more qualified than you, who won’t wreck the house and piss off my maid or lay around in the evenings guzzling wine…which is completely unprofessional, by the way. And whoever that may be won’t question me working long hours because they’d understand that’s why they have a job in the first place. I didn’t hire you because you’re the best fit for the job. I hired you because it was convenient and as a favor to Dominic.”
I saw rage firing up in her eyes as she straightened her back and glared back at me with a bold grit. I had a talent for making women who worked for me cry, even if I wasn’t proud of it. Hell, I made plenty of male employees cry too. But Tara wasn’t backing down an inch.
“I could just as easily find another job that isn’t so demanding or complicated. And I intend on doing just that as soon as Dominic and Vanna get back. But as long as I am here and I am the one spending all day with your children, it’d be in their best interest for us to work together on handling their grieving process.”
“We won’t discuss it any further, do you understand? If you don’t like it, there’s the door.”
I turned to march off before she could protest any further. To think, moments ago I was dying to lunge forward and explore her mouth with my tongue. Now I couldn’t be less attracted to her. After over a year of raising these kids by myself, while I was mourning a loss as well, she thought she could march in here after one day and have any clue as to what we’d been through?
By the time I reached my office door, I realized I had been mumbling everything out loud to myself, which I was glad for. I hoped Tara heard every word of it and knew not to cross me again. I had to give her credit though. I don’t think anyone had ever made me feel such an intense rollercoaster of emotions in such a short span of time.
6
Tara
It was one of the rare, brief periods of the day where the kids got to have free time to play. Christopher and Caitlyn were chasing each other through the playroom and down the halls while Bailey drew a picture at her desk in the corner. I had wanted to take them to the park, but it was pouring down rain outside. Just another reminder that we couldn’t always get what we wanted…A lesson I thought Jason needed to learn more than anyone.
>
I was enjoying a few moments of not having to shuffle the kids from one place to another, or cook, or try to entertain them. But my peace was completely robbed by my memories of the other night. I couldn’t stop running our talk through my head over and over.
Jason was undoubtedly gorgeous, and he knew it. Unfortunately, asshole, arrogant men had proven to be my type, because I was inevitably drawn to each one of them like a moth to a flame. And he was no different. There was a certain sexual energy crackling between us—something I hadn’t felt in months, maybe longer.
But then he had to go and ruin it all by surpassing my tolerance level for arrogance. After everything with Clinton, I made myself swear not to be fooled by another controlling, egotistical psycho. And Jason was obviously one of those.
It was infuriating to think he’d place his own wants over the needs of his children. Anyone could see plain as day that they were confused about what happened with their mom and missed her terribly. But he was too stuck up his own ass to care.
“Spoiled jerk,” I accidentally muttered under my breath, peaking Bailey’s interests. And the twins too since they were soon on a screaming rampage in circles around the room, repeating the words over and over.
“How is it that when I have something important to say, you all act deaf. But the minute I make a comment to myself you have the hearing of an owl?”
“Owls,” Bailey replied. “They’re nocturnal and have a highly developed auditory system. They can hear even the slightest movements of their prey on the ground, even from all the way up in a tree.”
I cut my eyes over to her, noticing she was still drawing away and hadn’t skipped a beat. “You’re too smart for your own good, kid.”
“I’m average,” she answered coldly.
“I don’t know about that. When I was your age the only thing I had any extensive knowledge on were boy bands.”
With that, I heard her pencil fall to the desk. She turned and looked at me with curiosity. “Well…what else did you do when you were my age? What extracurriculars did you have?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Riding bikes with my friends. Getting into trouble with them around the neighborhood.”
“Your parents didn’t mind?”
“No,” I shook my head, knowing there was nothing truthful I could say about my parents without scarring these kids for life. They had enough of that with losing their mom. I didn’t want to destroy what was left of their little bubbles of innocence.
Soon the rain had passed, and I was shuffling the kids off to their tennis lessons. Christopher and Caitlyn seemed far too young for the sport, but each kid had their own private instructor to cater to their short attention spans. Having their own court on the property seemed over the top, but it was convenient.
I had finally started learning my way around the property enough to not get lost. It was ridiculously hard to find everything at first. If we were going anywhere else, I could have plugged it into my GPS and been fine. But unfortunately, the tennis courts and golf greens and swimming pools of Jason Halstead’s massive estate were not registered locations on Google maps.
As I watched the kids bound around in their tiny white uniforms, batting balls back and forth and giggling or groaning every step of the way, I wondered if it was a good idea for me to be here. Jason surely hated me now, and I felt the same about him. I had no intention of staying past a couple of months, and it would only make things worse for the kids if they got attached to me only for me to be replaced.
I looked around at this elite foreign world, knowing I had no place here. Carrying around trays of food and offering them up at charity balls? Maybe. Living inside these walls and really navigating their day to day world? No, I didn’t belong here. Professional nannies are used to working for people like this, and one of them would have known not to bother crossing Jason on the issue of the kids’ mother.
The more I thought about it, the more certain I was that I should quit. The children already liked me, but better to rip the band-aid off now than to spend another two or three months getting closer to them.
I was positive I had made up my mind when Caitlyn called to me from the court. “Tara! Tara! I won!” She giggled, bouncing up and down. Her blonde curls danced in the sun with her excitement, and for a second I thought I have never seen anything cuter in my whole life.
But then Christopher came running by, chasing after a runaway ball, and slammed right into his sister. I rushed over to scoop both of the crying children up in my arms. As their little hands clung to my sweater and their poor little runny noses sniffled, I thought to myself—correction. This is the cutest thing I have ever experienced in my life.
A few hours later, Bailey did her tutoring homework at the kitchen counter while I attempted to make dinner. Cooking was still not a strong suit of mine, and I wished I had tried to talk to Jason about hiring a chef before I made him so mad at me. Lord knows he could afford it.
The twins came barreling through like wild horses, having learned nothing from their collision earlier, and were soon tormenting their big sister. I only heard half of the exchange, but before long Christopher was taunting Bailey about some boy named Devon.
“Who’s Devon?” I asked, trying not to lose my place in the cookbook. When I was met with silence except for Caitlyn’s muffled little giggles, I turned around to see Bailey’s cheeks had turned bright red and Charlie was grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
“It’s her booooooyfrieeeeend!” the twins cackled, pointing their fingers.
“Shut up! No, he’s not!” Bailey shrieked.
“You two are too young to even know what that means,” I scolded, shooing them along to play.
I couldn’t help but smile at Bailey, who softened a little once the twins were no longer standing around taunting her.
“Devon?” I questioned again, knowing she was secretly dying to talk about it.
“Just a boy at school.” She did her best to hide a smile. “He said…he said after summer break, we should maybe…you know, call each other boyfriend and girlfriend.”
I sighed deeply, remembering how it felt to like someone as a kid. You didn’t even know what half of those feelings meant yet, but you felt them just as strong as anything else in the world, if not stronger. All while being horribly ashamed about it all.
“Do you like him?” I asked, already knowing the answer by the smile on her face.
She rounded her lips, trying harder to hide it. “I don’t know,” she mumbled.
Okay, I thought. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and I won’t stand corrected this time. But then a dark cloud seemed to hover over us. I remembered how lonely it was to not have a mom who cared enough to talk to me about boys and all the other coming of age things a girl goes through. And now Bailey had been robbed of that too.
My heart was breaking as I turned back around to the stove, wondering if a professional nanny would have it in her to care as much as I did. Maybe I really could bring something into these kids’ lives that they couldn’t get from anyone else.
7
Jason
Thanks to a meeting that was unexpectedly canceled at the last minute, it was a rare day when I was able to make it home before the sun went down. Other than sneaking into their rooms to tuck them in after they were long asleep, I hadn’t seen the kids in a week. It filled me with joy to hear them laughing and playing from the other side of the door to their playroom.
But I could also hear Tara’s voice, which filled me with anger. I had been mulling it over for days in between conference calls and paperwork, ever since our fight the other night. I was crazy to have hired her. She was inexperienced and unprofessional. To top it all off, she had the nerve to try and criticize my schedule and how I help my kids through their grief.
Coming home early meant more than extra time with the kids. It also meant today was finally the day I’d be letting Tara go. It was Friday, so I’d have the weekend to find a replacement. I al
ready had the number for a service that I’d gotten from a wife of a guy I worked with. I could say hello to the kids, let Tara go, and then make the call to line up some interviews.
It seemed simple enough. It’s not like I had never fired anyone before. But as I quietly nudged open the cracked door and saw Tara sitting there with the twins draped across her lap, giving a lively and animated performance of a book, a strange twinge of something hit me.
Bailey was sprawled out on the floor nearby, and I thought I couldn’t remember the last time I saw her doing anything beyond sulking in the corner. The sun lit up Tara’s red curls as she growled out the voice of a bear from the story, making the kids laugh hysterically.
Being beautiful didn’t make her a good fit for the job. But there was something about her that went beyond her good looks. She had a certain playfulness to her that begged to draw you in, even if she could be crass and catch you off guard at times. It was no wonder the kids liked her so much.
“Daddy!” Caitlyn caught sight of me watching from the doorway, and soon all three of them were swarming me with hugs.
I toppled over on the floor and sucked up all their kisses and excited shrieking. Me waltzing in only riled them up, and once they were done greeting me, they were shooting around the room like wild little animals. You’d never know they had been so still and peaceful just moments ago.
With the kids running around again, it left me and Tara in an awkward face-off. She didn’t budge from the beanbag chair and crossed her arms as her eyes burned into me. She was just as pissed as I was, even though she had no right to be. She was the one who overstepped her bounds.
“Hi,” I said through tight lips. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Why, certainly, Mr. Halstead,” she sang out in a mocking tone. She stopped around the corner in the hall, looking at me expectantly as she crossed her arms again.
“Actually, could we step into my office?”